Kiskiminetas Springs School - Kiski Yearbook (Saltsburg, PA)

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KISKIMINETAS SPRINGS SCHOOL SKLTSBURG PA MURDER AT SWITCHBOARD ru Krrk was found dead at e r r swrtc oard rt rrrgt ater serres of rnysterrous calls Drrty work rt the crossroads lrt somethrng rot ten rn the st rte of Denmrrk was sus pected when a faculty wrfe rttempted to tr the out rde An obserxer sn t trt was rll rr t Young, Krrk was found rn the f cc h crrmmt rnto sn awer h b ttom f thc es Two telephone wrres led rnto s ruth brth wrres went to 1 n whrch rcad rn crudely scrrwled wrrt rn e try all but hrm ry n ber plcrsev Me trred to bcll bell rrng tc rttres rn c sourcc P 5 Me ctte qurlv W Q whale7 r messrgc w as o xrousy r c but cxen that drdnt explarn what hap pened later Telephone calls were heard by your reporter sayrng Hello grxe me Reese Hall please long pause Hello' Hello' Grxe mc Reese' Grxe me Reese' Reese' Reese' Reese' Do you hear7 Reese' Reese' Reese' flong pause then gutteral am ma rke croak rs herrd sryrng, c hear Me grxe you Reese krd B ht' Bsht' Ug' fobxrously a short crrcurt fanothcr xorce enters Hello? Hello? Hello7 Thr rs the Whrte House wrth whom do you wrsh to speak' ong pause Me speak Reesc ru o Grxe me Reese' Reese' Reese' Ree c' You get Reese' Hello the Whrte House rs wartrng, please Me care7 Me leave harrprn Grxe me Reese' Reese' Reese' Reese' Reese' e o thr rs Reese H ll what rs rt pleasev Me no no krd me no born tomorrow drrty pants for sale As yet no clues hare been found except a 50 gallon jug of cleanrng flurd whrcb has anrmallrke tooth marks on the neck and srde and a bad tenth NURSE SWALLOWS MOP A tragrc drama wrs reenacted last nrght when ames M Donough hav rng hrs throat parnted rn the rnfrrm ary asked for a prece lockrng the medrcrne carefully slrdrng her floor to sound lrlce a trrpped whrle passrng, and fell mouth open had been carelessly of kleenex Un xault the nurse feet along the choo choo trarn the work closet on a mop whrch left behrnd by Paulette de Peu Mrs Roger Freem Roger Freem and Manos Zofer P O W FARCE PROVES TO BE REAL THING SALTSBURG june I 19 6 Srltsburg rcsrdents h1d the most ex crtement rn year: last nrght when German named Adolf Hrtler wr prcked up as 1 prrsoner of wrr posrnp, a a Kr kr student Ext Brlun muc bejeweled he nrly verled and wc lr s rn rc ex en 4 gown rted V rle rtalr s or ot es of rt y whre Adol rr a rgrtor ou frt don ey rn ls w ed on s m rc t s Skrn c ard s store t g t rcc crc n cone Wbrle it the salon for fr y es Mrss Braun rs ar rue rted ber xerl and played Yun t oodle 1, ews rrrn 1 er sv rch she conxersed rn broken Eng, rs wrth Olgr Stus tus w o tr a strange tongue known is Olrngofef' trught her hy rn cstrxnged prrcnt They were helrd to sry 1 xe cr of xodkr e ent wa o xrously Englrsh xt en stur ' One e rg ter flurd f go po mtc Olga Go go nr rchrneA' Wh rt that Prrncess Fra Esecrapenzre lStrang,er enters Stranger Wh it sry Olg,re7 Whrt the news ga Who say? Who news' flonr, pause Onezy Twozy7 Later after Adolf had been hurled rn by the polrce for rmpersonrtrng an officer and had been released on exr dence offered hy one Hermrn Goer mg, rt was realrzed that ruthorrtre had nrade 1 mrstake Olga offercd the new exrdence when he sard Don key Allrgator man haxe moostashro PIGMY SHIP ARMADA FOUND ON GOLF BALL DAY After berng grxen the go ahead hy Chref Marks 1 golf hall hungry crowd of 3000 people plunged rnto the Krskr Lake and scoured 1ts sandy tom for th frt trme rn t months The hrst golf ball was found by Martrn Rosen and he recerxed the awrrd whrch had been promrsed The award a huge metal box two storres hrgh full of broken mrlk bottles The crowd now dwrndlrng to ' 517 due to octrpr and allrgators angered hy thrs added more zest However the search was frurtless and the crowd was erther eatrng or leaxrng, saxe for one Olga Stanrslaus local nrght club ber and socralrte Executrng a new swrmmrng tyle whrch was a serres of flrps and knee bends she dressed rn scout pants flour sacks and football Vlhv dffl all fflends dnd get along wry helmet gracefully searched the pond WG together Strrkrng, ome hr'rg, rnterestrnf, she ut 87 l l l l PHOTOGRAPHER GOES INSANE Hr ers settrng out on the annual Geologrcrl Drscox ery Expedrtron famruarly known to members as the A G D E whrch meets twrce a year drscoxered wrerd rock rrrangement protrudmg from the xortex of the rrxers Sud expert Crlhoun ap proprretor of Zaps General Store Salt at Srltsburg specrrl reductron for the krddrcs on Wednesdays We haxe drscoxered baby volcrno 'Aiexerrl members rnxrou f r the fur ther study found rt to be wreckage of the 1946 flood but however labora tory tests rexealed rt to be cru hed camera equrpment Thr lef e A G D E where they strrted so they shfxed off for C rrksburg, T rs drdnt rtrsfy Lruru who medrately searched for clues but he got drxerted because he c ught glrmpse of 1 Mongolrm Flammrngo tryrng to drsgurse hrmself rs a canary enroh rnd Rrp Muller who both clarmed that there werent very many clues After scalrnp, the clrff by a se rres of trn cans tred together by thongs leather see Zaps prrce lrst Fol lowrng bear tricks whrch appeared for no reason they arrryed at Wrlson Hall where they shot 1 g1me of pool whrch lasted for days because they drdnt have any cue balls Instead they substituted lacrosse strcks and chrpped cement fr m th road as a Q A scream shattered the atmosphere and the two de ectrxes broke through the dark room door wrth the use of some sort of atomrc gun that they had secretly rnxented Remenrberrng that any damage they drd would haxe to be pard for by themselxes prompt ly made a better door out of the pool table Then lookrng around the room they saw on the floor thc happy form of farthful Bob Srmpson playrng sol drers wrth nlm spools and horseshoe ngs fboth on Zaps prrce rst Not very crazy erred our two fflC'ldS rn unrson All our photog, rapher could say was fr, y gys mkl fhgh tered Me rnd tbrng funny' sma but seem brg Vvhat rt he artrcles the young adxentures had stumbled upon proxed t be a fl t of mrdget Spanrsh sea crrft obvrou ly far off therr course 'X conxersa tlon between the damsel who rn her modesty had changed from her scout pants to a bat costume and the cap tarn Charles Broderrck fsee Spanrsh drctronaryj known to hrs crew as the drsh rap, followed Me find you you here? You lrkum Much ac a es fla grrl 1946 KISKIMINETAN I . . a. . . W4 Pi l ' ' i th KAskA 5 'A -hh' lrs Afh 'f a E - - 4 ' Ak V 'N 1 Q 5 . 5 ' E f ' . A I LA mf - ,A ai ... ' t x K ' r V ' 1 's ' As A . . '1 a , h A ' A .ill I K. , :pd I ' .H A ' . f 'z 1 ' .. g 1 Q 1 'Zz . h V. ' A, h rng a .l ky bla k ' rng r ' 1 ' 3 - , a ' 'S ' E wa in rt: VA . AAs ialon f r A . '. '1 ' r 3 o 1 cl Ph I fl . Al f, Ar hrs A A J ' 5 ' fi .,. is body Q .d ' A 5- ml! 'Il 1 t E and k x :.'k. ' ' a H 4 3 dr, , in I C U U , d sk' 'ra 'l K hrs :to z'h 1. . ny . ' 1 ,, ' s o f , V h, !Rr h' 5 5 o re an ' 'ar . , ' J rs s p A I 'hh v Y , ., nrt , L A S ' 2 ote cloth A A' s' Ad to l ' ' 5 5 ' ' A s ' ' is ' . bf N -I av ld 'av' I.4 aygvgr ' . Hs th gz M . C. Si umm hn .Q on .1 o V- , . ,, . t .... 'I 1 . . . H AA 'A ' A A A A A l lA:h 'A r .AAQ Asla ', rh sp 'z ks A hA. ' A sz A 1 Az, ' im' rng at Vrt lr V' l e 'ome to - 5 f 1 1 I lx- ' f ' x 1 - J '. . 'I ar. hr fi ' 2 i ' 1 ' 1 , A' A ' . Aa A' I 1 ' A S2 : 1 . 1 .2 ' , Th 5 ,, ,Q K, b ,A pl A fak, E Olga: 'AHA' a ' rp 1 b au- l A. 1 I A 3 if ' ' ' . ., . ' - , , , trful7 Eh what old top? 1Hcr par' l Clues were then picked up by Dot' - , -. - ,. s b'A J J .i ,J 'z I z A A , . A ,: E ':: A'Nr J p d prg. ' ' rn 1 A ' '- . ,n A. . ,. lA h A or r I a'hrne.AA .. .' ' A Y ' A . - 1 , , K. A h - . ,' E : U 2 , 2 A . A 5 A w ' J I . ' , I . ,' '.' A' AA A ' Y ' ' A 'A I , - A- ' -I s I A A' V A .. AA, . A A ' V A 1,1 . 5 Q ti -H ,J . T.. 1 .. I . . rr Y -, . . . I . Q I ,A ,' 5 . Q. - , - OI 1 ' . ' ' J. . , . ' JJ -' I I ' L I . . n , : . As A' A . ' . , , A A 0 C At - , x ' . 1 ' ' E b ll,. U . k 5 r- K . 1 1 ' ' I '- , ' I . 'Add7AA ' ' :. . Q Y. I 4' I A S A ' 'bot e I 5 A A hree - A L - ' ,, v A' A A2 , , 'A A A ' V A . A A AA AA - A 1 . -7 A It I H 5 s E I. . A ' .. 'll. - . . T ' ,I s ' IA- '. ' I A A ' I, A ' o ee ' ' ' s ' ' ' ' . ' ' . . . . . A 7 Y Y I l . , I S Q .A I . 5 , Y L '1 hi M I . J

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KISKI Ml UTES KISKIMINETAS SPRINGS SCHOOL SALTSBURG PA MOTHER NATURE MOVES UNWILLING TENANTS SWEETHEART SENDS POISONED CAKE Foleman Coster IS dolng hne nn the Knskl School Infirmary today after bemg polsoned by a cake from hrs gnrl frlend Ioung Coster was dnscov ered on the floor mn hrs room has tan ned face IH horrlble congestion by Dean Zelgler after hrs absence from dlnner Local authorltles under the dnrec tion of one Francls L Mogmot claxm that the cake had enough purssnc acnd to klll 3907083V1 elephants The cause that led to the discovery of the cake was a crumpled note which read Eat thus darhng untnl your brg fat mouth IS full and your greedy stom ach IS burstmg' flidntors Note It ns strange that Coster dnd not suspect anything by the wording of this note HARD CRUST ON ROADS THOUGHT TO BE DIAMONDS Or They Are Not Diamonds Because There Is No Hard Crust The dream of the world transmu tatlon of elements wus thought to have become a reallty last mght by Leroy Grant an emment blrd loser when xt was found that low flyxng al batrosses had been slghted from an attxc wmdow m Reese Hall From thus Info Leroy or as he IS known Dla mond Dxck began to suspect that the gllstenlng fragments rn the roads were not broken fragments of Coca Cola bottles but the hardest of elements the dramond Two mnnutes after he released hl earth shaking news two enterprlsxng faculty members had set up dramond road stands where they sold lum of vure At Grst Cause of they drd rxngs for ps of the road tled to rmgs prefabrlcated solxtarmes no cars stopped Later be a hastlly erected adobe wall stop but would not buy the u they sand ln umson when as ed why not In the first pace they do not look like diamond rxngs they look lxke large hunks of asphalt tled wxth whnte strung to coat hang The two teacher later commlt e urtxde rather than face t e laughmg world Thelr last word were We hate Leroy Grant and will klll hum omeday 1Ed Note Names of teachers mth held for obsnous reasons TWO AND ONE ATHLETIC CONTEST 'X noxel farce like athletxc contest was held ln the Klskl gymnasium last evenlng when Klskl Valley Buckshots came down to wrestle for the Unner sal Championship of the World It was obvrous from the flrst mln ute when the Buckshots rolled out on to the floor that lt was to be a novel contest for thexr complete team was dressed ln nosel bard rabhlt costumes As the game progressed the ten lon became more tense It appeared that whxle we were playlng basketball they were attempting t play what they called scronch explained by thexr coach later as a sort of cross between tenms and football played wlth golf clubs and hockey pucks and requnrmg bxrd rabbrt costumes As ome of our players ack Betteley Lewns Day amts Waters d few of th n rlends ud later It was hard enou to play but the felthers from then co tumes got m our noses md ma e us sneeze Later nn the exemng the middle of the gym floor collapsed and both teams fell mto the swxmmmg pool where they decided to stage an aqua cade Both teams later drowned PLOT REVEALED No one suspected the strange black armored cur with guns strtkmg out of the ports that had been hidden ln the groxe xn back of Wnlstmn Lat mght however If became the must sought after affaxr snnce the days of the whxs key maker nn 1800 Local dllIl'l0I'lIICS were flabbergasted to hnd that thns rn nocent automoblle which had been robbing the wealthner establxshments rn Slrckxnlle Pa was the transporta non of jewel smuggler Mrlton Xxdes Robert Stncklett and Don Rexter who had been tarrynng on unter tate smuggling wlth therr focal point at Wealthy Center Pa They are stxll at large 1 l Ik KI June 1 1946 Mot er Nature took thmgs into her own hands here last mght by forcxbly exlctmg two famnlxes from thelr homes on the edge of the KISRI cllff As one of the homes that of Dr L M Clark plunged over the cllff to nts new slte two wolces were heard by your porter screaming But we luke If on top of the cliff and Its obuous that you are not thxnkmg thxs thmg out clearly All of which proxed ml however as Mother Nature uncarmg and cold gave the go ahead sngnal to her little friend and helper Ernle Erosxon who has been hackrng at the cliff for months now supposedly searchmg for a lace handkerchlef lost by hrs grandmother lacquelnne Frot All of natures lnttle creatures were present at the moving and t the nght of M and Mrs ark screaming at the wmdow of an upper story were heard to cheep chnrp and chatter Look they are screammg at the window of an upper story by ready wnllmg Farr Hall who wnth the greatest dtfhculty managed to rlg up a sort of basket ltke affarr to brmg up the strxcken couple from thelr pre carlous positron near the nver The only fault wrth thus was that the rope broke halfway up and the lnttle basket was unceremonxously dumped mto the Icy Kxskxmlnetas along with nts load A dnppnng occupant of the basket was heard to murmum Isnt II lose ly that they are sendlng another basket Meanwhlle on the other slde of the campus thrngs were not so hnlanous the Marks home well known to K1 kr students could be seen far below :tu ated approxnmately where the old house on the point should haxe been bpon hearmg this news Mr and Mr Marks were heard to say If nature ha wxlled ll thusly so hall xt be un to death do lla part Both famllleb are recosenng slowly and despxte the fa t that both hou e block Route 80 they are beginning to llke more and more the xdea of au tomoblle drnmg back and forth their front halls 946 KISKIMINETAN s , , . l f 1 IS , , .f-- h T R ' . , . . 1 - 4 . . . - - 1 . U, ' ' . r - 4 ' ' -, - - - . I , I I j 1 I - I V . , . I I. I I, , , I re. ' ' ' , ' I - ss .. s I- ' ' , . ' 1 s' ' 9 - ' n ' . ..., . 4 I 1 I. , . , ' I Y Q . , 'I ' v , . . . I .I 1 O I . , , I . , A I ' ' y T I- I I A 'I. . ' , ' -' , I . ' f ' : f s t I 1 3 1 , Q J - s' r. .. Cl I I J' ' ., an a e' ' I . 1 I. II , f' 'sf , N A gh I II ' I , 1 ' 1 s J 1 ' I ' 4 d ' ' Thxs phenonemon was hrst suspected I I .. Help was rushed to them speedily I. - , - , I . I . 1 1 - . , - '1 ' 'I . 4 . T I I 's f. ' 1 J, I ' ' . s s I , T ' s su Q 'i 1 V 'I T I- as .. I . II . . I I..I I ' , I. I '. ' , . I . , .4 .I su . , ' N' ' I -I ci .Q ' , I. . . ' . , I I ' , 1 , , ' I. I , S I I I I , 'S .' I ' ' ' :,. f ' 'I ' ' ' 1 5 . ' s. ers. s 1 f . 1 , 1 ,, r 1 ' . t d s h ' ' . s ' ' , 1 1 ' 1 1 ' 1 . ' .1 s . ' , ' , 1 ' ' c s s I . I I . . I . . I .. I... I . I I. Q 5 I ' ' 1 I ' , . A I I I s 1 nn X Sf