Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine - Osteoblast Yearbook (Kirksville, MO)

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THE DAILY DISTRESS ' Oubtiiiers of School Necessities ii ' for the Successful .Student Tl-IE COLLEGE BOOK STORE South Side Square WHAT IS IT TO BE EDUCATED? MILLIONS GAPE AT DR. DONNO-PHEW'S PICTURE AND WoNDERs Has life made a sap of you? Well, what do you think it's made of Dr. Donnofphew? Are you easily upset by charging rhinoceroses and stamf peding elephants? Do safefblowers annoy you, make you irritable? Young man, you are atflicted with assinninitis, which is inflammation of the intellect. Did you know-you had an intellect? Neither did we. But beware, for you are as stupid as a couple of Sewedish oxen plough' ing concrete with a pogo stick. The only polish you have is on the seat of your trousers. You are in the Dark. You're lucky. But don't give up the barge-we've great news for you! Professor Malachi Methuselah Donnofphew is just aching for the chance to give you his complete tenflesson course in Making Eyes at Milkmaids, Making the Milk' maids, Swinging in Hammocks, Dancing the Tuba with a Rhumba and Holding the Bag. Young man- here's the opportunity of'any even' i r Professor Donno-phew in a Typical Bedroonl Altitude! ing! And all in ten easy lessons- nothing to sell, nothing to give, nothing to take. In fact, you're just where you started when you iinish1Dr. Donnofphew sees to that, as you can see by gawking at that hlankest of blank COL1Dt6DH11C6S. And when you graduate, you shall receive from Dr. Donnofphew him' self one of his Special Rolling Scrolls in lavendar with green stripes down the back. And-your name will be scribbled on the box. So remember-Dr. Donnofphew is lying in wait for you. Be wise, and rind your own diploma in the second room to the right. You'll be much better of M. H. Bartlett: Lets sit this one out darling, no one will be the wiser. She: Oh yes, you will. Prof: ujack what is a science U Koenig: Science is a piece of paper what says No Smoking. COOK 8: CARD The Guarantee Store ER Fraternity and College jewelry We Repair Watches, Clocks, Jewelry and Fountain Pens Phone lOl l l I5 South Franklin H2333

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THE DAILY DIST RESS LAIN DRUG COMPANY The Store FOUNTAIN SERVICE - KODAKS - SHAEFFER PENS Make This Your Headquarters 105 West Washington Phone 7 WIZZLYPIN KS DEDICATE SPACIOUS CLUB HOUSE Wizzlypiiiks of all casts and stations, from behind wastefbas' kets and beneath shedding onion trees, from east, west, the Gold Coast and Pinchwick's Penny Pal' ace, thronged the spacious grounds of the new Wizzlypink messfshack and biliousfparlor today as formal dedication exercises were dispensed with amid three cyclones and a couple of ham sandwiches. Well, the place looks it, doesn't it? Delegates all wore their collars upside down instead of the usual conventionfribbons, which were deemed inadvisable inasmuch as none of the right color could be found. Festivities were gay despite weather that drove threefquarters of the howling mob ro shelter inf side, and the other quarter to pigf pens of other shapes. The Keeper of the Rusty Latch led the exercises and turned over the hrst spadeful of earth, which was also the last. The good man then bared his fluorescent cranium and midst a tremendous ovation got rid of the speech he had prepared for some other occasion. At the last touching word, his voice trembling with emotion, he looked up at his vast audience. Nobody was there. Where were they? Although no ladies were per' WIZZLYPINK INN mitted at the ceremony until after dark, many of the more aesthetic' minded gentlemen were quite struck with the superb beauty of the vast structure and surrounding estate. Note the cows in the background. Note the background of the cows. The gardeners and menfaboutfthef place, all Wizzlypinks, have taken great pride in their choice of live' stock, many fine examples of which may be seen sitting around by any casual visitor at the banquet table, except that visitors are not allowed at the banquet table. In fact, there isn't any banquet table. Thirty odd janitors, all Wizzlyf pinks, are employed by their fellows to preserve that air of cleanliness you feel by contrast when you look away from the picture. Notice the bucket of ashes so prominently hidden out of sight in the foreground and the mess all over the surroundf ing territory. Yes sir, these men know their jobs. Meetings will be held after every meal. You are cordially invited to attend whenever the spirit moves. SNEED ELECTRICAL CO. The Pioneer Electrical Store of Northeast Missouri Twenty-seven Years Experience in Handling Your Electrical Problems 206 N. Franklin ' Phone 669 Kirksville, Missouri 523211

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THE DAILY DISTRESS MACK MEET TIZIE BUNCH HPOPH RECREATION CLUB ll4 S. ELSON gg FOUNTAIN SERVICE lVIalted Milk Specialties CICARS PIPE HEADQUARTERS TOBACCO WHITE C A3151 heigitiliilftlgieinifmg H wedge, but Did you hear about the girl in the Cotton stockings? NO, what happened to her? SANDWICHES Nofhmfl- Dr. Miller: L'Wheii I took this course . I knew all about Bacteria. Fred Summers: Yes, someone else was teaching you. Mother Cexamining her daughters wardrobejz NI see you Went to the I. T. S. dance. Daughter: MNO, Mother, I ripped that shoulder strap playing tennis. judge: L'What are your grounds for divorce? Bride: I'He snoresf' Judge: HOW long have you been mar ried? Bride: Two weeks. G' Prop' judge: Granted, he shouldn't snore Noi an Osleopafliic Drug Store But a Drug Store for Osteopaths OWL DRUG STORE WALCREEN SYSTEM HO. K. Meet Me ai flie Owl PHONE 40 W D. I. 6- BOB ll234l