Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine - Osteoblast Yearbook (Kirksville, MO)

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THE DAILY DISTRESS a Caught in the Air Derfelt- And now, Dr. Denby, your vulva- Dr. Stellaf And I'll tell you right now, crying won't get you any place+- Dr. Becker-i Now I saved 14 cases of this in Minneapolis-- Dr. Stukey+L'Absolutely, that's the point exactly- Rinefortf Dr., may I ask a question? Big Bartlettf Dr., may I ask a question? The judge4 Allright, too much moving around up there !- Dr. Thomasf'!'Now here is a little bicuspid squeezing in between two big molarsf' I An' to make it complete, the show was lousy too. An' Gramolini stood up, but I couldn't see anything- An' the heart said, 'now listen here boys, I'm gettin' tired'- 'LRest in bed, liquid diet, long hot continued douches- Have you still got that book, Kersting? L'Three Hngers dilation, hurry. l High heels were sure hfl in that soft groundf- Who cares what Cabot thought anyway- tt ti. . as tt ng?- Now this molecular formula explains everyt hi L'Now I'll give out a few review questions- An' then the edemer becomes an anasarker-H How about Friday night? Suppose you can eat everything the neighbors bring in- u. ts I wonder why they call them Pizzliwinksf' Second fall won by a body smother ! Now, according to Todd E99 Sanford- u ts ts And Coursema didn't know either- And then Turner held up those two hngers ss again. is What's the prognosis? ' 5 223 ii MR. R. C. SLATER Instructor in Clinical Pathology Due to a mistake on the part of the staff, this picture was not included in the faculty section. It is entered here with apologies to Mr. Slater for this oversight. Which is the butt end of a goat? Father: Mary, is that young man there yet? Mary: UNO, Father, but he's getting there. 0hesity Cole's Endocrine Comp. No. I9 Menopause Cole's Endocrine Comp. No. 4 Cole Chemical Company St. Louis, U. S. A. 'lfbality Pharmaceulicalsn

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THE DAILY DISTRESS 31,000,000 GUESSING CONTEST! Name these buxom wenches and win a pile of dough. No strings tied to it, the money we mean. just bring 25099999 in nickels and dimes to the office of the Daily Distress and receive your prize. All you have to do is think of in nice clean name that can be printed. We intend to use the name on a beautiful bottle containing stable disinfectant that will soon be put on the market. . The name you choose should get into the spirit of the thing, Get a name that will describe the two lovely ladies. It should bring out the fact that they are perfectly at ease and relaxed, you might even say unconscious. Mail all answers to: THE DAn,Y Disraass, Burpsyille, Mo. CONGRATULATIONS to the Stajj' of the 1933 OSTEOBLAST Preparation and production of your 1933 Osteoblast constitutes a notable achievement of which you may well be proud. Becktold Company is gratified at having designed and fabricated the cover for such a fine yearbook. We are also proud of the fact that so many schools turn to Becktold for the yearbook covers, again and again. We regard this as evident appreciation of the beauty and durability of our product, as well as our suc- cess in embodying the school spirit and year- book theme. in cover design. BECKTOLD COMPANY Cover Manufacturers 200-212 PINE STREET - ST. LOUIS, MO. ll222ll

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THE DAILY DISTRESS CELEBRATED COMIC ARTIST MUTILATES MULTITUDES Here we have the greatest find since Barnum discovered the sex of the flea-none other than Prof fessor Hokum Mc'Z. Lemuel himf self. decorator par excellence of comic valentines, chief nauseator to the League for Louder E99 Funnier St. Swithin's Day Brawls, spreader of the thick oil. Here's a genial gentleman, ladies and gentlemen, who takes his funny business serf iously. Take a squint, for instance, at that shiny silk opera hat he's sporting around town. A genuine, allfaround, knockdown turban, the pride of any shiek-and you'll notice it has that pert, saucy little brim that's the rage of the social season. The professors dress hat- he wears it out. Professor Lemuel is a true philosopher, or he'd never be able to wear that hollow crepe withf out feeling depressed. Professor Lemuel is a man of digf nity, tact, and a pipe that would be banned in any sewer. The professor takes keen delight in promenading hither and thither of a summer's night, bowing to the ladies of the smart set and belching forth great clouds of sodden Prince Cuthbert Special in their laughing faces. It is rumored moreover that the prof fessor has been offered 189 lf4 yen by the 8th Manchurian Bandit Corps for his services as extermif nator of vice, lice and mice in the barrack annexes of the Chinese Army. All our esteemed professor need do is sit around in the corners and keep the smolder aglow in the old pipe bowl. Everything within qgzg-.5-wg . --s:5.g.g.3:,:::, PROFESSOR LEMUEL AT TEA CNote the Hypnotic Starej 986 L2 Chinese miles will die a sudden death, including all the Chinese bandits and soldiers them' selves. But not our dapper prof fessor-not by a long shot. As Wongyellow, the eminent -Iappof American menufwriter once yapped, a whiff in the gut is worth two in the mush. Such wisdom! If you don't think our genial professor is a combination Delphi Oracle and Walter Winchell, just try him on a few important quesf tions of the day. Do you want to know why crows in New Guinea fly sideways? Ask Prof. Lemuel. Do you want to know why Aunt Maude hid under the back stoop last February 48th? Prof. Lemuel can tell you without thinking. So could anybody else. Waiit to know how an African Wanglefdang makes love to a Squemogian Bookworm? Well, so do we. But the professor'll have an answer for you. 'Supply your own salt. And now-here's a buttered toast and a mug of Jamaica to the one and only Professor Hokum Mc'Z. Lemuel, the sage of the Kirksville brush. Long may he waggle! TI-IE CITIZENS NATIONAL BA K KIRKSVILLE, Missoual Capital and Surplus Resources over SI 60,000.00 51,000,000 This Bank acts as Executor, Administrator, Trustee and Guardian of Estates. Appoint Us Executor of Your VV ill or Trustee of Your Estate H. M. STILL, PRESIDENT- E. CONNER, CASHIER I M2411