Kirksville College of Osteopathic Medicine - Osteoblast Yearbook (Kirksville, MO)

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A Tribute to the Dog ' Senator Geo. G. Vest BOB 6 K ENTLEMEN of the jury: The best friends a man has in this world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter, that he has reared with loving care, may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name, may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps when he needs it most. A man's reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees to do us honor when success is with us may be the Hrst to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our heads. The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selhsh world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. Gentlemen of the jury, a man's dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground, where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives Hercely, if only he may be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounters with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wings and reputaf tion falls to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun is in its journey through the heavens. When misfortune drives the master forth an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him to guard him against danger, and to ight against his enemies, and when the last scene of all comes, and death takes the master in its embrace and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his gravefside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad but open in alert watchf fulness, faithful and true even to death. Page 222 A

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Dr. Browne: Locke, wake il. Bird' there next to you, will you? Locke: Aw, do it yourself+you put him to sleep. Pat lost a linger in a buzz saw, and was rushed to the doctor. Doctor: Was it cut off clean that way, all at once? ' - r Pat: L'Sure, an' ye don't think I held it there just to make a good job of it, do ye? Dr. Medic: Hang it all! I made a mistake and gave one of my patients the Wrong medicine. Mrs. Medic: Good Heavens! Did it kill him? Dr. Medic: Dash it! No, he's entirely well. Hypopyrexia: Whe1i Ah had de influendvvays Ah had a chill dat was so cold, dat Ah froze all de water pipes in de house. . Hyperpyrexia: Yo ain't said nuthin'-W'hen Ah had de fevah, mah mouth done melted de Doctah's thermomatah, an' Ah had to wear asbestos pajamas to keep frum bu'nin' de sheets. Rev. Condit Cin psychology classj: What do you immediately think of when you hear the word 'mint'? New Yorker: 'klvloneyf' Southerner: Hjulepf' I 47 U Football Send-off Page 221

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