Kinston High School - Kay Aitch Ess Yearbook (Kinston, NC)

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“Is he crooked ?” “Is he? Say, that guy can’t even take his whisky straight.” Fresh: “Ever read Carlyle’s Essay on Burns?” Another: “I’m not in the medical school.” • “Im going to have to stop drinking coffee for breakfast.” “Why so ?” “I can’t sleep in any of my classes any more.” Roger: “Doctor, I’m going to die.” Doctor: “What makes you think so?” Roger: “My lifetime fountain pen just broke.” Bet: “I think necking is positively repulsive.” Mamie Hines: “I don’t like it, either.” Bet: “Shake, sister, we’re both liars.” “Would you believe it, I only got forty on that history exam!” “Dearie, you don’t know the half of it.” Lecturer: “I have faced wild tigers, raging wolves, terrible lions, and — ” Voice from the Audience: “Come on home with me and help me face my wife.” ♦ Can’t study in the fall. Gotta play football; Can’t study in the winter. Gotta play basketball ; Can’t study in the spring. Gotta play baseball ; Can’t play in the summer. Gotta girl. Aged Gentleman: “My boy. I’m getting an old, feeble man these days.” Fresh: “Whatta you gonna do with him when you get him?” Bill: “I found a hairpin in the soup.” Waitress: “Goody, look and see if you can find m) ' comb, too.” 67

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Cop (to man driving new car who passed the “Stop” sign): “Hey, there, can’t you read?” Motorist: “Sure I can, hut I can’t stop.” Willie: “Pa, what is a parasite?” His Pa: “A parasite, son, is a man who walks through a revolving door without doing his share of pushing.” We noticed the following on a poster advertising a school dance: “Girls may attend this dance, but no dresses are to be worn above the knees.” We tried to get tickets, but none were to be had. Western chain store advertised as follows: “Apples, oranges, imported nuts, and fruitcake. Come in now and avoid the rush. The earlybird always gets the worm.” Bellhop (to newly-ushered-in guest) ; “Anything I can do for you?” The Wise Guy: “No, I have some in my suitcase.” First Kid: “Gee, Jimmie, when I went by your house this morning I heard somebody swear- ing something awful.” Second Kid: “Oh, that was my dad. He was late for church an’ couldn’t find his hymn book.” » if “How do you know that Adam used sugar?” Answer: “When he raised Cain.” The hand that socks the husband rules the pocketbook. She: “I just couldn’t think of anything poisonous enough to call him.” Another: “Did you call him a bootlegger?” “What do three balls mean in front of a pawn shop?” “Two to one you won’t get it back.” » Motorist: “Is this a one-way street?” Cop: “Yes, and there are no two ways about it.” 66

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“Why do you employ such dumb looking salesmen?” “Well, it makes the customer feel that they can’t help but get the best end of the bargain.” ■ “Got any gin?” “What do you want with gin?” “To make some gingerale.” » “The state is sending my brother East.” “Oratorical contest?” “No, grand larceny.” At the Dance Abe: “I heard your name was Smith; did you hear mine was Stadiem?” ■ Waddell: “I kissed her while she wasn’t looking.” Layton: “What did she do?” Waddell: “She would’nt look at me the rest of the evening.” Milburn: “Who hit my little brother?” Melford: “I did. What about it?” Milbu rn; “Nothing. Only you sure give him ' a hell of a lick.” Coach: “Don’t mind that big guy. The bigger they are the harder they fall.” L ouis Grady: “Yeah, but suppose he falls on me?” ♦ » Burglar (to business manager of annual) : “Keep quiet or I’ll blow your brains out; it’s money I’m looking for.” Howell: “Just a minute and I’ll help you look for it.” » Abe Would Like to Know — How much does a shirt-waist? Where does the kitchen sink? How long does a fox trot ? Who does the train track? What did day break? Where does the newsstand? Why does a windowbox? ♦ Ike: “I’d face death for you, darling.” Katherine: “Why didn’t you face that bulldog yesterday?” Ike: “He wasn’t dead.” George S.: “What would you give for a voice like mine?” Miss McDearman: “Chloroform.” » It Horace: “You know I played the organ for years.” Roy: “Why did you give it up?” Horace: “The monkey died.” 68