Kinston High School - Kay Aitch Ess Yearbook (Kinston, NC)

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KINSTON HIGH SCHOOL THE KA Y A ITCHES S NINETEEN T VV E N T Y - FO 1 1 R Carried Unanimously The hall was crowded, - nd the woman speaker was waxing eloquent. Yes, she cried, emphatically, women have been misjudged for ages. They have suffered in a thousands words. (Here she paused to give her audi- ence time to consider this momentous statement.) There is one way in which they never suffered, and never will, said a meek little man from the back of the crowd. The lecturer gave him a frigid look. And in what way is that? she inquired. In silence, replied the little man, as he sank into his seat. □ □ □ Mrs. I. B. Sick is very near death ' s door, but it is thought Dr. Cure Em will pull her through. All of her friends will be delighted to hear the good news. □ □ □ Rastus — I ' m tired o ' my ole lady sassin ' me. Sam — Why, she been sassin ' ye? Rastus — Yas, she ' s been givin ' me apple sass for the last three weeks. □ □ □ Farmer Brown (on being asked if the tornado of the night before had dam- maged his barn) — Derned if I know; I ain ' t found the dang thing yet. □ □ □ The roughest date she ever had. The man with a tweed suit. a n □ William ' s Contents Children, said the teacher, instructing the class in composition, you should not attempt any flights of fancy; simply be yourselves and write what is in you. As a result of this advice, William turned in the following: We should not attempt any flights of fancy, but write what is in us. In me there is my tummy, lungs, heart, liver, two apples, one piece of pie, one sugar-stick, and my dinner. □ □ o Still Spry Boy Scout (small, but polite) — May I accompany you across the street, madam? Old Lady — Certainly, you may, my lad. How long have you been waiting here for somebody to take you across? □ □ □ I bought a pair of new shoes for my wife today, and ran all the way back with them. What did you run for? I was afraid the styles would change before I got home. □ □ □ Waiting for Information Tourist — To what do you attribute your great age? Oldest Inhabitant — I can ' t say yet, sir. There be several o ' them patent medicine companies bargaining wi ' me. a a a How much are these dollar stockings? asked the would-be funny cus- tomer. Fifty cents a foot, replied the funnier clerk. Sixty-Three

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KINSTON HIGH SCHOOL THE KAYAITCHESS NINETEEN TWENTY-FOUR Beneath Notice Sunday School Teacher — Ernest, who defeated the Philistines? Ernest (roused from day-dream) — Dunno; I don ' t follow none of them bush-league teams. □ □ □ A New Use For It So, that ' s your new overcoat, eh! Isn ' t it rather loud? It ' s all right — when I put on a muffler. □ □ □ An irritable old sportsman was aroused from his bed at three o ' clock in the morning by the insistent ringing of his door-bell. On answering, he found a seedy drunkard, struggling hard to maintain his equilibrium. What do you mean by waking me up at this hour? Is yoh Mr. Smithers? Yes, yes. What of it? Ish yoh the gent what advertised for a partner to go lion-huntin ' in Africa? Yes, I ' m the gentleman. What do you want to know about it? Nothin, ' ' ceptin ' I just wanted to tell you that on no condishuns, what- soever, will I go with you. □ □ □ Teacher — Willie, if you were sitting in a street car, and every seat was occupied, and a lady entered, what would you do? Willie — I ' d pretend I was sleepin ' , same as Dad does. □ □ □ Jones was discussing the recent most popular songs of the day, and ex- pressing his disgust at their utter senselessness. They make me tired, he said. ' Yes, We Have No Bananas. ' Did you ever hear anything sillier than that? Why, when I was a young man, we had songs like ' Ta-ra-ra-ra Boomp Da-aay, ' and ' Papa, Won ' t You Buy Me a Bow- Wow? ' There was some sense to the songs in those days, I ' ll tell the world. □ □ □ Felicitations in Order Collector — Your hardware dealer has employed me to collect the bill you owe him. Customer — You ' re to be congratulated on obtaining a permanent position. □ □ □ Tried to Please Prison Visitor — And what brought you here, my man? Convict — Well, madam, my father said, when I was a boy, that he hoped I would marry beauty and brains, and I wanted to please him. Visitor — Yes? Convict — I committed bigamy. □ □ □ A Good Provider Mandy, said a former mistress to her servant, is your husband a good provider? Yes, ma ' am, dat he is, she replied. Dat about all he do. He say he go ' git me some furniture for de house, providen he git de money; and he go ' get the money, providen he git a job; and he go ' git de job, providen he like it. Yes, ma ' am, he sure is good at providen. Sixty-Two

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KINSTON HIGH SCHOOL THE KAYAITCHESS NINETEEN TWENTY-FOUR Sixty-Four