Keokuk High School - Comment Yearbook (Keokuk, IA)

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y THE COMMENT 1929 Florence Fulton and Paul Vermillion are on a vaudeville circuit, now playing at the Woodbine Theater, Carthage. They do this anesthetic dancing. It puts the audience to sleep. Virginia Collins is a silk stocking saleslady, her territory being Nome and points north. As a side line she sells Frigidaires to the Eskimos. Basil Brown is a poet laureate to the king of Sweden. His latest poem starts out like this: ODE TO A BAR-ROOM KITTY Kitty, kitty, oh so near Falling in my glass of beer, Do you think it wise to rear Cats in such an atmosphere? Mildred Thomas, poor Snooky, went for an airplane ride and tried to walk home. Glen Koch has found a cure for the habit of striking matches on his pants. He wears celluloid pants. Harold Schmidt is a gym instructor at Des Moines. He liked gym so well in K. H. S. that he has chosen it for his life work. Violet Alston is working in a Penny store in Missouri. Bob McQuay is the manager, and they plan to get married as soon as Bob can buy a few can-openers and a plug hat. Joe Nate Wood is a swimming instructor in Elvaston. He has ad- vanced a theory that when swimming you either float or sink. Marjorie Keiser is selling Perkins, mustache and eyebrow dye to the suburban residents of Hamilton, VVarsaw and Galland. Anson Johnson is running in a HBunion Derby. He claims he can get twenty miles to a box of Post Toasties. Azalene Freeman has just finished a profitable season with a large circus. She packs the elephants trunk after every show. Clayton Boyd is the manager of a well-paying checker club and cabaret in Alexandria. Cleo Harness-believe it or not-is an eminent scientist. Deep in the wilds of Kansas she has discovered the rare Toohoo Hen. In case of a cyclone this wise bird screws its corkscrew tail into the ground and swallows itself. Herbert Schmidt is running a hot dog stand at Wayland. Not a growl in a gross is his slogan. Marie Coffey is in Chicago demonstrating rubber keyholes to a group of apartment house owners. Ruben Sorenson is ski champion of Florida. As a side line he sells toboggans and coon skin coats to the natives. Milburn Malone is selling the whine from buzz-saws to saxophone manufacturers. Robert Walley has a job in the Santa Fe roundhouse in Fort Madi- son. He washes coal for the locomotives. Dlorothea Knies, after many years of research work, discovered what always comes in pairs. Pear seeds. Dow Puder is working in a bakery at Burlington. He makes the rye bread, because he doesn't like to wash his hands. TWENTY-SIX

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THE COMMENT 1929 Senior Class Prophecy June 32, 1951 Keokuk, Iowa Dear Jack: I've been pretty busy since I received your last letter, and this is about the first time I've had a chance to write you. In answer to your request of the whereabouts of the Class of '29, I've written this little directory. Some have just made Hwhoopeef' Leroy Humble, our worthy president, is out in California. He writes me that, owing to the richness of the soil, it is impossible to raise water- melons because the vines grow so fast that they drag the melons over the ground, wearing holes in them. Ruth VanAusdall, Jack Rovane, and Robert Bear are in the Salvation Army. Bob plays the piano, Ruth Sings, and Jack takes up the collection. Fern Head-you remember little Fernie, don't you? She came home the other day from a card party and found Ralph stirring the baby and rocking the soup. Stacy Johnson works up at the north pole during the winter. I-Ie builds a Hre, cuts oil the frozen flames and then sells them for red peppers in the States. h Colleen Mundy has married a preacher. I don't know his name, but they say he can talk a Scotchman into contributing a dollar every Sunday. Hubert Johnson is working on his latest creation-muzzles for hot dogs. Lucy Marsh is a teacher in the Argyle consolidated school. She instructs second graders in advanced chemistry and domestic science. Kenneth Moon has the softest job: he tests mattresses to see how comfortable they are. Glen Linquist is in Hollywood. He doubles for John Barrymore in the love scenes. The leading lady says his technique is superb, but his mustache tickles. Margaret Meister, commonly known as the celluloid ash tray mag- nate, has left today for some wookydoolus hunting in Yucatan. Faye Reed was following in his father's footsteps. He was a police- man in Chicago, but at the present he is pushing up the roots of daisies. Alice Branson is a prominent Hgure in the Swiss cheese market. She has perfected a non-shrinking hole for her world-famous cheese. Wells Sinotte has surprised everyone by breaking into the movies. In Clara Bows' latest pic-ture he plays the part of her brother that dies before the picture starts. Zora Belle Storms is selling postoffices and city halls to ambitious young men with more money than brains. Glen VanDyke has discontinued his career as a trombone player on account of the high price of axel grease. TWENTY-FIVE

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THE COMMENT 1929 Merle Walker has invented a new flivver plane. He nicknamed it Cyanamid-one drop and you're done for. Helen Grace Carr is a kindergarten teacher. She enjoys herself most when she can get down on the floor and cut out paper dolls with the rest of the little tots. Neil Teeters is back from a hard year on his farm in Nebraska. He says the oats were so low that the sparrows had to get down on their knees to eat them. Eston Williams is selling rubber machine guns in Chicago. They are very handy in shooting around the corner of a building. Howard Davis is lecturing at the Carthage College on evolution. He sets himself up as an example. Wilbur Cook is a traveling salesman. His line consists of tooth, hair, clothes, paint, and whitewash brushes. Dorothy Luft and Jennie Marks are running a dressmaking shop on North Fourth street. They take a plain dress, put a load of buckshot through it, and have a rare old lace dress. Alfred Kries is touring the country, trying to persuade men to Wear spats. He claims they are indispensable in wearing out socks which have holes above the shoe tops. Bertha Holton and Alice Bryant are running an ice cream parlor in Siberia. They feed a cow vanilla and, on account of the intense cold, it gives vanilla ice cream. Willard Farnsworth is lecturing in Oklahoma on the advantages of eating soup with a fork. Margaret Blondet is president of the Society for the Prevention of Parents Calling Children Clarence. Emmet Alberts is singing in a Chautauqua. His best number is the gorilla song, Girl of My Dreamsfl Jessie Jones is head of the l'Rhubarbino gang of South Ninth street. You wouldn't think Keokuk could ever get so tough. Lloyd Philp, of wrestling fame in K. H. S., is now in Spain. He excells in throwing the bull. Elsie Breitenstein is the most popular girl in Crawfordsville, Indiana: She runs a chain of speak-easies. Alan Buck is a clerk at the Hawkeye Hotel. In his spare moments he plays chess with the house cat. Mable Briggs is living on a farm in Arkansas. She sells peeled and pickled strawberries to the tourists. George Huffman and B. Hambelton are both inventors. Their latest is a musical soup spoon which plays It Ain't Gonna Rain No More.'l Isabelle Breitenbucher, you know, was just the cutest little kid when she was in high school. Well, she is now running for sheriff of Clark county. She gives one of those hoosiers a come hither look and it's one more vote for Isabelle. Merton Lind is a song and dance man in Al. G. Feild's minstrel. Merton is so quick on his feet that he is through before he starts. TWENTY-SEVEN