Keokuk High School - Comment Yearbook (Keokuk, IA)

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TH E -ooMMENT 3321 .j?ffgf,,,, Since graduation, Tench Gammon has spent all his time trying to dis- cover a more direct route to Hamilton than by the bridge. Tench, with his persistency, will become famous yet. Leslie Ferris has suddenly decided, after all these years, that he can never marry Myrlte, as she has an impediment in her speech. She can't say yes, Louise Larson, who was voted Keokuk's Most Beautiful Girl, is now taking a correspondence course in swimming, preparatory to entering the beauty contest this summer at Atlantic City. Doris Ackley and Dorothy Adams tripped lightly to New York to seek their fame and fortune. They are at present ironing with great dexterity the wrinkles out of the baby elephants in the zoo. Doris Arnold is heard regularly over the radio from Station WOC. She sings and plays her own composition, The Little Red Cow Is Dead in Mobile, with such pathos that it actually drives one to tears. George McDevitt, who was always very daring and adventurous, joined the navy to see the world, but instead has spent the last four years in a submarine as head cook and garbage slinger. A monster laundry, said to be the largest in the world, is nearing com- pletion. I understand that Leroy Bartholomew, the president of the company, has cordially invited Roy Buck to yank off the first button. Evelyn Banghart claims she is the most experienced cook in Keokuk, as three policemen have already lost their jobs because of her. Burdette Dunn is an installment agent, whose motto is An Unpaid Balance in Every American Homefl Grace and Dorothea Buck are beauty experts who specialize in lifting the faces of grandfather clocks. Burdette Beard advocates that some girls should be wearing speedome- ters instead of wrist watches. Julian Wihlfehrt and Elmer VanAusdall are running one of the latest novelties-a teeth shining parlor. Ten cents in the slot polishes your teeth and gives you a spray of listerine and a stick of gum. The gum can be procured in any flavor. Avice Bryant has astonished the scientific world by her recent article on Why There Are Warts on Pickles. This discourse, as the title sug- gests, is very elevating, indeed. Carl Gates, Professor of Philosophy in the Keokuk Junior College, one bright May morning, slammed his wife and kissed the door. Because of his absent-mindedness he is now paying forty-five a week alimony. Marcia Cahalan is enjoying a life of comparative solitude. She is living in the far North, where she wiles away her time selling straw hats to the Eskimos. Paul Benner is an efficiency expert in a toothpick factory. Dorothy Ruddick, foremost woman athlete, has won laurels in the TWENTY-FIVE

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X S.fC,.,..l ': S WH fill lily O IHE. CQMMENT 1227: Class Prophecy ye E, A My Diary: lt has been ten years since l i-gq have even seen you, dear diary, ever since l ,,:.,.? was graduated from High School and put you '4 - -,,.i away with the rest of my old school books. There has been nothing slow or melan- '-., H cholic about the methods used by the members of the Class of '27 in seeking their fame and fortune. Each one, being of an ambitious -1fff5f5 f14:i1,h . , nature, has climbed to the top of the ladder in df ,AG their chosen line. 1 have been mid that Paul smith, the ' valiant and stalwart President of the class, has refused the Presidency of the United States, claiming there was no chance for advancement. Alice Schaefer is doing research work along the line of American History. She has proven to the world that the Chinese were in America before Columbus, by finding two clothespins and a flatiron in the Black Hills. Clifford lVlillspaugh's face is seen in every home. His profile is printed on each bottle of his new patent medicine, Essence of Dissolved Horse- shoe Nails, which is a sure cure for nervousness and softening of the brain. Catherine Ayres is a second Pollyanna Girl who even enjoys having a headache, as it shows there is something there to ache. By trying to invent a new color scheme for taxicabs, john Sigmund suffered a slight touch of insanity. But after a six months rest in Scotland, selling roulette wheels, he was pronounced cured. Naomi Roost, who runs a delicatessen shop on Water Street, is known as The Woman WVithout a Consciencef' She looks her customers straight in the eye and sells them both pork and veal chicken salad. Victor Brown has written a book on the utter worthlessness of tonsils after they are removed. This is said to be one of the best bed-time stories for night-watchmen on the market. Charles Holbrook is Keokuk's most popular boxer-he followed the family profession and is a flourishing undertaker. By tending a furnace in an ice factory, john Idle lives up to his name in a manner that is rated 100 per cent. William Carr and Loren Camp graduated recently from an aviation school and are now selling Hy-paper and balloon tires, respectively. Elizabeth Winger, one of lowals foremost Senators, is enforcing the Prohibition Amendment to the best of her ability. She suggests that the Government pass a law demanding that all frogs be killed in order that the supply of hops be exhausted. TWENTY-FOUR

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we -COMMENT 12261 following events: The standing low jump, the running high vault and the crooked spear Hing. Margaret Jones is owner of the largest peanut orchard in Iowa. She can be found any day out among the plants with her peanut compass and peanut tester. Bernice Cahill is knitting socks for the soldiers of the next war. The design is red and black checks, so that the soldiers can play the ancient and honorable game of checkers in their leisure hours. Malcolm Azinger, being of an inventive nature, is working on a pencil sharpener to be used only for eversharp pencils. Wilson Collins, who won many races for K. I-I. S. on the cinder path, entered the thousand-mile dash and would have won had he not broken one of his crutches. As it was, he limped over the line a good second. Edna Casey and Isabelle Clark, two noted musicians, recently enter- tained the inmates of an institution for the deaf and dumb in a Way that completely won their hearts. I have heard that Beatrice Kiefer is two-thirds married to her ideal man. She is willing and the preacher is willing. Charles Danford declares that the business world is not for him-the circular letters make him dizzy. Jesse Davis is running a taxi line between Mars and Saturn. Competi- tion is very keen, but Jesse makes up for this, as his specialty is short- changing. . Mary Clippert is looking for a man of few words and many actions. The only one she has found so far has St. Vitus' dance. Ruth Cramer and I-Iarriet DeYong are two of the most popular girls in Lee County. Ruth keeps track of her dates on an adding machine and Harriet by the double entry system. Warren Hull has charge of the free air at a filling station in one of Africa's foremost villages. During his spare time he peels bananas for the native ilappers. Louise I-Iammat thinks it would be simply terrible to be an heiress, as there would be nothing left to get married for. Dorothy Hedrick and Vivian Johnson graduated recently from a busi- ness college 90 per cent of whose graduates marry their employers within a year. Isn't this good, practical business training? Joe Furlong is master in his own house. I-Iis wife goes out every day and leaves him absolutely boss of two cats, a dog, four goldfish and a canary bird. Edward Eckland is efliciently running a barber shop for bald-headed men. This is a very delicate and tedious job, but Edward has made quite a success of it. I-Ielen Philp has been pursuaded to take over the love problems of the Chicago Tribune. Her thoughtful answers have won a place for her in the hearts of millions. TW ENTY-SIX