Keokuk High School - Comment Yearbook (Keokuk, IA)

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THE COMMENT 19 Gertrude Lorenz has chosen a vocal career. Her latest hit is The Elephant Swallowed the Coffee Pot and Canlt Find the Grounds. I saw a cartoon headed, World Famous Debatersf' and, as I live, there was Norris Ryder and Elizabeth Morrow gesticulating madly. They were debating on Face Powder Has Done More for Civilization than Gun Powder. Did Cecil Fuller become a poet? Oh, no! He is on trial in Montrose because he tried to murder the calendar by becoming a time killer. lWe nipped off a branch of laurel bush in recognition of Alice OlCon- nor's recent achievements on the links. She is looming strong against the horizon of fame. Helen Whitmarsh is in London trying to introduce there the American habit of chewing gum. It seems hard to understand how the London stenographer gets through a working day. I saw that Marie Sigmund was looking for a new kind of car. Thatls an idea. Tutankanamen's chariot, Dr. Reid, would be the very thing. It certainly would be different. I heard it was in excellent condition and only 3200 years old. She couldn't find another car with en- durance like that. Harry Mardis decided that as the price of haircuts kept on raising he would be a musician. Joe Weber? Why, you should see Joe. He has gradually worked up from the position he had while in High School and is now a Congressman, 100 per cent for the people, and wears no man's collar. Wilma Loewenstein has asked for a divorce because her husband's ex- cessive conceit made living with him impossible. But really, Dr. Ried, I don't think it's the first vanity case that has caused a man's downfall, do you? Mary Maxine Jones has started a newspaper in some eastern city and prints bedtime stories for night watchmen. Leona Mearion bought a Ford sedan and toured the world. She has decided that Uhitching one's wagon to a star is nothing compared to Uhitching one's flivver to an ocean linerfl Lowell Hanes went to Cuba and just before he got off the steamer in New Orleans on his way back the ship's band played Snuggle Up a Little Closer. Elizabeth Aldrich has taken up designing and is known as the draped Russian Artist. Is Roy Krueger her boss? Oh, no! He is a college professor at De Pauw. He says he works in ivory. Korine Bevering was a trained nurse, but fell in love with a patient, so now she's keeping house. Did you know Frank Lake has patented a new kind of fountain pen? He has christened it True Love, because it never did run smooth. Leslie Wolf proposed to a girl while he was on a ranch in Texas and is terribly embarrassed-financially embarrassed.

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18 TI-IECOMMENT john Heineman is married and says his wife is just like tissue paper- tear -able. Edna Olson was one of our quietest girls. She joined the Secret Ser- vice and her sweet disposition has won her many government medals. Francis Breheny saw an airplane about two years ago and is said to be looking for feathers on its wings-Poor f'Hans!', Ruth Johnson has become the leader of a band that broadcasts at Keo- kuk. I suppose you have heard her, Dr. Reid? Oh, yes, and while speaking of radio, did you hear that radio fans in Iowa are enlisting upon a court action involving the rights of the atmos- phere? Edith Raber is the plaintiff and claims that if something isn't done soon, the only free airn will be that obtainable for your automobile tires. Violet Sells was the judge in the case. She is the first woman to hold such a position. Clifford Hewitt is on a farm and raises big crops of hay-said he got his good seed from K. H. S. Paul Meginnis has entered into a unique business. He has bought all the cukoo clocks available and is looking for eggs. Harold Russell has thrown up everything and gone to Cuba. just a case of a girl driving a man to drink. Leta Etutenburg has started an exclusive umbrella shop. Sort of keep- ing under cover. Gertrude Cahalan has become a French aviatrix, but the Parisiennes seem to object to her new method of advertising in which her airplane writes letters in smoke across the sky. Paris, we fear, forgets the Bib- lical precedent, a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by nightfl You don't know how wonderfully pleased I was to hear about Marian. She is in India now, isnlt she? She was such a success in 'fMiss Cherry Blossom in High School that I know she is giving pleasure to the natives of India in that role. I noticed that Carroll Uhler did not go with her, but married and claims that he is leading a dog's life-recalls it all came from puppy love. Charles Bernstein has become world famous. He is noted for memor- izing anything he reads once. I wondered about that myself, Dr. Reid, but Charles hasn't been out of America, so couldn't possibly have gotten hold of this invention. Yet, when I remember what good practice he had in fifth period Chemistry class in High School, I am not at all amazed. I was glad to see that Emily Patterson is married and has at last some use for the subject she majored in. It was mathematics, you know. So it didn't surprise me at all when I heard she was staying up day and night with her infant son. She has reached the greatest sum of human happi ness, with one to carry. A chiropodist is Ruth Laws, and has been using one of Kellogg's Corn Flakes on her patients. They are reported as worth trying.

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20 THE COMMENT Ruby Pence has entered the literary world. The first book she pub- lished was Don't Wear Your Ponies Out This Season. Robert Parcells owns a publishing company in Keokuk. It ranks sec- ond in its productionsnow and on the fly leaf of the pamphlet is some of Bob's literature- Pay your subscriptions early. The manager has a date and needs a hair cut. Ruby Richard is never lonesome. She is the century's greatest piano player. Ruby's secretary, Fern Merideth, says she has engagements booked up until January 1, 1950. Herbert Stafford is traveling in Isham Jones' Orchestra as a violinist and insists upon playing Grace is the Only Virtue for Me. It's almost pathetic. Martha Wilcox's love for horses has been realized. She won the derby race in Kentucky. Her rival was a King's horse, but Martha carried away the honors like a Queen. Helen Swan is advocating that a golf course be built on the historical battlefilield at Yorktown. But really, from the looks of the game, I think Bunker Hill would be more appropriate, don't you? Mable Fowler discovered she had an artistic touch and is designing in Greek architecture a stadium for K. H. S.. , Oh, yes, John Reither is in San Francisco and is willing to bet anyone that the Volstead Act is a troupe of acrobats. Gladys Thomas has become a grand opera star and wants Doc Coue to improve her disposition. I canlt imagine what he prescribed. I heard it was blue litmus paper, though. Martha Cofran puts out a Blue Book and says that the world will soon be Hooded with Egyptian styles, resulting from the discovery of King Tutls tomb. All we have to do now is look like we've been dead 2000? years. And as for Frederic Hilpert, you know I never fully understood the lines of the poem, Seven years in sun and showers, until I saw his over- coat. Madeline Wolf and Mayme Johnson have started a kindergarten in Australia. Madeline teaches the boys and Mayme the girls. Leland Finlay is a first-class lawyer, and to hear him one can readily see why arguments are called briefs. -Clarice LaPorte, the girl whom I remember as being of a very quiet nature, has gone to the other extreme and craves excitement. Because of her interest she has become sporting editor for the Chicago Tribune. Raymond Cook is a poet, resting on his laurels-may soon die of in- somnia. Ruth Thomas and Clematis Strohmaier have both taken up Near East Relief Work. It proves an old truth that if you fuss with a Greece spot it is liable to spread..