Kenyon College - Reveille Yearbook (Gambier, OH)

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KENYON K li V E 1 L L E . lUiFMAiRY § QHG IK T IB S. Charles 0. Little, W. S. Marshall, John G. Mitchell, Alfred H. Pease, Timotht H. Riakdkn, Walter Scott, George A. Smith, Jeremiah C. Sprinokr, James Stephens, Benjamin F. Stradsk, Edward Starr, Cedar Rapids, Iowa. George S. Swift, Scranton, Pa. Jacob S. Vouch. McLean, N. Y. Marcus A. Woodward, Wilkesbarre, Pa. Delaware. Charleston, III. Piqua. Cleveland. 44 Massillon. Cleveland. Putnam. Cincinnati. W' o j PHILOMATHESIAN SENIORS. George T. Chapman, Richard L. Ganter, JonN E. Hamilton, Thomas M. James, Charles H. Muenschxr, James T. Sterlino, Cleveland. Alleghany City, Pa. Frankfort, Ky. Cincinnati. Mt. Vernon. Cleveland. JUNIORS. Thomas E. Bassett, Henry H. Denison, Richard G. Holland James E. Homans, Joseph G. Lothrop, John W. McCarty, Eugene A. Osborne, John W. Russell, Jr., Isaac M. Sowers, George A. Torrence, William Wolfley. Cynthiana, Ky. Kepkuk, Iowa. Cork., Ireland. New York. Mt. Vernon. Cork, Ireland. Painesville. Mt. Vernon, Uniontown, Pa. Connellsville, Pa Pomeroy. SOPHOMORES. John M. Burke, Massillon, Robert B. Burton, Cincinnati. Cornelius F. Callaghan, Ireland. Alexander F. Dubb, Gambier. Charles H. Fitch, Frederick M. Graz, John Green, Frank H. Hurd, J. E. Jacobs, Robert Lcrkins, John F. Miller, Henry Mitchell, Robert P. Mdenscher, John F. Ohl, Lewis Paine, William Thomps6n, Piqua. Cincinnati. Covington, Ky. Mt. Vernon. Westchester, Pa. i Cincinnati. Peru, Ind. Mt. Vernon. « t Bloornsburg, Pa. Pomeroy. Circle ville. PHI DELTA. FRESHMEN. William Bower, Rochester, N. Y. Charles A. Bronson, Mt. Vernon. Joseph W. Cook, Columbus. William II. Dyer, Manchester, Vt. Charles B. Guthrie, Putnam. James D. Hancock, Wilkesbarre, Pa. Matthew Hodkinson, Jr., Pittsburgh, Pa. Richard Holden, J. A. Kendig, TBTHT Mato; H. F. Padkn, C. C. Parker, William Reynolds, J oun Sherman, Fkanklin Thornton, C. H. Young, South America. Ashland. ---tWjr Sandusky City. Boston, Mass. Chicago, 111, Mt. Vernon. Bloomsburg, Pa. Cincinnati. Charles Augustine, Mansfield. Charles E. Butler, New York City. K, G. Chase, Rome, N. Y. Julius A. Coleman, Troy. Leon 0. D islk, Scranton, Pa. Joseph S. Elwell, Zanesville. Charles B. Hart, Lancaster. William Hawk, New York City. Charles E. Hazlkt, Zanesville. J. H. Jacobs, Fort Wayne, Ind. David S. Kidder, Wilkesbarre, Pa. William Lucas, Zanesville. George D. LrBRAND, Mt. Vernon. B. W. Leigh McCluno, Xenia. Robert McNeillt, St. Louis, Mo. James Mulcaht, Dayton. Charles M. Stcroks, Mansfield. Henry H. Stcroes, •i 'John Stillwell, Zanesville. XU SENIORS. David D. Benedict, Norwalk. Benjamin C. Cutler, Avon, N. Y. George F. Dawson, Brownsville, Pa. Cincinnati's M. Morrison, Henderson, Ky. Orrn S. Penny, Gambier. Frederic D. Tunnard, Baton Rouge, La. William H. Tunkard, W SOPHOMORES. Flamen Ball, Jr., Marshal Beam, Henry M. Blackaller, Charles M. Burr, Alexander Graham, Wyllys Hall, James K. Jones, i Warren Munger, Jr., i Barrt Taylor, Cincinnati. Mt. Vernon, Newark. Portsmouth. Pittsburgh, Pa. Portsmouth. Columbus. Dayton. Newport, Ky. THE COLLEGIATE OLYMPIAD. BY HENRY G. PERRY JUNIORS. Bela S. Andrews, Pcnfield. Thomas B. Brooke, Upper Marlboro, Md. William II. Bryan, Granville. Horace J. Canfield, Cleveland. FRESHMEN. Ralph B. Buck land, Benjamin W. Dudley, G. Howard Fay, James K. Hamilton; Uniontown, Pa., Tvler Harn, Fremont. Cincinnati. Columbus. Milan. Columbus. Well may it cause some trepidation To perpetrate so plain narration Of what some 44 savans” present know, And we, in verse, attempt to show. Dear-bought Experience interceding, On part of student, Might plead 41 unfair” the whole proceeding. And quite imprudent. Still Ladies, Sages, Scholars all — Diabolic or Theological— Our theme is rife, S ateniioualy historical. Of College life. Graduate, Tutor and Professor— Each illustrious predecessor! Hear us through ; Convinced you'll deem the picture true. Withal 'tis gay,— As you are gray, and fun eschew ;— The knowledge is not lesser. Aid us—Oh now prolific Muse, To our poor pen put nib poetic. That College Life we may depict. In humorous light and epithetic ? Behold tb’juvenil’ academician, Pursuing lingual 'laboration, Sire lauds the “boy's” determination— Ilis 44 Ma” exhibits agitation— He's hugged and wept by each relation— Bussed and rebussed—Bid shun temptation, Till from coach, boat, or railroad station, He starts to finish education ; (Equipped with introduct’ry letter To Prexy Drill or Proff. Belle Lettref) Arrives at College ;—meets polite Young men, acquaintance at first sight. '■ Tute” soon communicates official information, Exactly giving hour and place, of examination, With wholesome hint that Grammar, Greek and Latin, be prepared, And breaches Mathematical by • brushing be repaired. The hour” arrived—forth Fresby goes, In well-blacked boots and well-brushed clothes, Timidly coughing and blowing bis nose, WifJj modest,air and muttered vows. Till fin’lly -victim verdant stands Before the Faculty,” whose hands John Leitiiead, ,............. Thos. H. M coucHTftv, Jefferson Ya 1 Thomas G, Ken»»v. Baton Rouge, I Prssp fearful tomes, with signs and sums That Proffs propound To those whose brains Are racked with pains The answers to expound. Examination having passed, A Freshman “green” you see. Erudite in Greek alphabet And double rule of three.” Now too commences party strife ; With 'lectioneering due. He's walked and chalked in “weaving way,' And regularly “put through.” Tho’ at such game by no means bandy. We'll give a modus operandi. Enter Snooks, with brother, Hunkins, And Freshman green, as usual, “punkins. “ Good day, dear Bill! to introduce “ Allow me—Mr. Griglet Goose— “ A friend of mine once saw his mother, “ And I myself have met his brother,” (Or something quite as ftppropo. Makes M friends” of all for Fresh homo. By joke and laugh the ice once broke. All hands sit down and take a smoke ; With patient politic propriety, Is introduced “ Societt ” (?) While (keen as cats at catching mice) The time is watched to give advice. Fellows “ drop in” to “ get a drink,” Or “ borrow paper,” “ pen,” or “ ink,” Or “ see what time it is Ruses and dire necessities Brought into practice As electioneering tactics. But 'twould far worse than folly be. Mentioning each trick, and scrape, and plea. All parties use to “nail” a fellow : Suffice, Goose gets ripe and mellow. Impartially determining in mind, The “ best Society” to “ jink.” The goat is mounted, climbed the pole — Particular friends now grow ice-cold, I Fresh'self's a wonder, nine days old; In market Freshman's stock declined, I To social station left resigned. And now commences duty’s round, A round of being bored, Devoted Freshman ! in reserve For thee, all pranks are stored! At midnight, as the Freshman snores. Behold a squad of skillful bores. With bit and wrench, and boding squirt. Approach his room, With pail and squib, and rope to girt. And filial Jiie . W A fizz ! ca-pop !! Freshman wakes, Involved in nauseous stench— Exclaims in vain “ for pity's sakes,” And bars the door with bed and bench, •While grunts and groans and puffs prodigious In anything but mood religious. Fill all the air with music rude— The while saltation fs wilder brewed; Folly to chase vile squibs around, In murky dozens they abound, (Nor less the number or the din) Ere one is out two more are in ; Squirming 'twixt toe and scorching linen. While scores of outside rascals grinning, With quips and pun and ribald noise, Shout quizzically “ let's run him boys!” Bolrvid, Denuded Freshman, wild with wrath; Two stalwart Juniors grasp him tight, Facilitating Freshman’s flight. Away all go ! Tom, Dick, and Harry— (In no sweet transformation fairy,) Vainly meanwhile fagged Freshman begs Real for his singed and weary legs. Alack the day, fur sake of knowledge, He ever thought of entering College, Better his birth he'd ne’er survived, When such Olympic games revived, Demand length, breadth, and strength of muscle, Surpassing acrobatic tussle. Cheer up pDor “ Fresh !” once safe in rooro. Thy buoyant spirits thou'U resume, Tho soothing symp'thy stand not by To dry the tear or stay the sigh, Still all this causeless persecution But just begins the revolution Of care and strife, and toil and trouble, That coming years will but redouble ; Clouds oft may gather o’er thy path, Tempting thy fullest, firmest faith ; Those clouds betimes must disappear— The gloom will disappear— And future gladness throw kind light, Thy path of life to cheer. In modo sic the “ Freshman spends His sessions three ; And, all sides, jnental view extends, Like “green bay tree;” At end of Freshman year, Ent’ring bran new sphere, He’s metamorphosed to a “bore — A self-conceited Sophomore— Mischievous, verbo-plenous, “sassy,” Simp’ring, smooth-faced, sly and 44 brassy

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K E N Y O K K E V K I L J, £ - D G. J. F. D. T. T. D. BENEDICT. CHAPMAN. STEELING. TUNNARD. water—the inference is, lie’s a toper. We (beneath the mysterious emblem ol aur noble think his spirits are too low to drink, those'Order, our names appear in all their prime-j which are high, being the essential attributes of a fast boy. As the Youth in question is, after all, a slippery-subject, we '11 turn to Young Italy, who continually plays with plaster Paris and marble blocks, there: by showing he is both boyish and natural, when in this enlightened age he should possess all the characteristics of a man, however few his years. There is no necessity for particularizing more. Go on n weary pilgrimage over the val beauty and grandeur—the coffin is with out support—the bier is never removed from : our Sanctum Sanctdrum. Our watchwords: are, 44 Go it while you're young,”—our j motto, 44 Honi soit que mal y' pense.” The Somes are, it is needless to say, Seniors !— Seniors !! Ye Sophomores and Freshmen speak not that word profanely—utter it not; in a jesting manner. Think of the battles j fought and victories won by Seniors ! Pon- • der on the knowledge they have accumu-j world, seek any clime, and you will find tha(j fated—the wisdom they possess. Science j the rising generation of every other country 1 acknowledges their stray, and the way of j is totally eclipsed by Young America. As j ignorance is to them an unknown way. As ; the forked lightning exceeds in brilliancy ironomy, with all its beauties—Mental Phi-! the last flickering rays of a departing can- j losophy, with all its subtleties —Mat hematics, die dip—as the Aurora Borealis surpasses! with all its poetry—Classical Lore, with all-in splendor the uncertain light of a spas- i its antiquity and fond associations—Natural, modic lamp—so the offspring of our glorious land are superior to their cotemporai ies, most of whom are “Mewling and puking in their nurse’s arms. v''s have heard of the Iron and Golden ages, but Young America has immortalized his name by making this the Progressive age. In his life there are but two periods, babyhood and manhood, (death coming before old age.) Doctors EDITORIAL MELANGE. This is a 2.40 epoch in America’s history. Johnny Bull, Jr., is not at all progressive— he wears certain mysterious triangular appendages during tlifT early part of his terrestrial career—then donning a roundabout and breeches, is sent to Eat-on, and cats on till finally he dies of roast beef and the apoplexy- By the way, speaking of England, reminds us that General Disaster lias succeeded General Simple Simon, who commanded at the Male off. According to latest advices, the English, in a late engagement, took—took—(these Russian names are so difficult to recollect) oh yes, took To-their- beefa-off . Young France and Spain arc ex-! huge collars and cravats, the dimensions o(j ceedingty slow, and altogether destitute of j which approach infinity, they proceed (o independence—one suffers himself to be put i order boots and a beaver ;—having obtains to bed every atght Vy lit bastard step-father, Louis Napoleon, and never dreams of smoking or disobeying his parents ; the other is Philosophy, with all its noble truths—arej as familiar to their minds as the Syrian and ; Chinese dialects. They have read Byron’s j Paradise Lost, Milton’s Don Juan, Gen.; Washington's De Seneclutc and Amicitia, Cicero’s account of the Mexican War, Homer’s Fairy Queen. Spencer’s Georgies and Bucolics, Shakspeare’s Description of the Rise, Fall, and Natural Decay of the Tower The here, never see babies but once—they grow of Babel, Tom Paine’s Pilgrim’s Progress, up as do mushrooms in a single night—not in stature, by the way, but in mind. No sooner have they been wrapped in nice warm blankets, which maternal anxiety (acting on the principle that “ coming events cast their shadows before,”) had carefully prepared several weeks in advance ----? College Choir II. II. Messenger, Demicemiquarer J. N. Lek, J. H. Lek, J. E. IIum.vns, R. Holden, W. Bower, F. Thornton, 13. Andrews, R. Holland, M. IIODKINSON, Alston, than they start for the tailor’s, where, tearing off the insignia of infancy, and donning long-tailed coats, tight breeches, exceedingly being gored continually by thj? Pope’s bull, and of necessity must be a v«sry sickly tu icd ion. and a host of other works too numerous to, mention. Think of these tilings, ye of the lower Classes, “ weep and howl.” “Somes” are in favor of supporting the j Press They believe its liberties should be j extended to every man and woman, to every ! boy and girl (if she’s pretty). Feeling thuspj and impelled by a Young America Progres- j give Spirit, they have issued this little sheet, hoping that it will be received by all. Ir.« the words of Shakspeare— Don't view it with a critic's evo, Bui pass all ini perfections bv. May the Reveille rouse Juniors to action,! v ■ »• morning drum wakes careworn sol- , these necessaries, they go as if by intuitio to ft tobacco anti dram-shop, eiatid orr toes in order to look over the counter, and |diers. May those be found who will bear! call for mint-juleps and cigars—tossing off aloft the Standard of the “ Somes,” and TARR M - J. Wolf lev, 1st iolins. R. L Kenyon Orchestra. G ASTER, Cond uct or- (modesty compels us to say,) follow' in the j jEE Andrews, 2d steps of their illustrious predecessors. Kind ! Hodkinson II. Denison, 1st Flute . readers—here endeth the first lesson. Kenyon College. the former in a manly way (though not youth, with a feeble constitution, what we without a few grimaces, for the liquor burns are wont to call a house boy. Young Hits- ’ their throats horribly)—putting tremendous sia, though rather fast in name, hasn't much j weeds in their little mouths they toddh- ofT bottom, as Dr. Birch will testify, who, as; “ to see the women,” exhibiting a spectacle did the Academicians of old, qualities him’-1 not unlike that we should behold if a big; Tin Genius of Industry lias, by the touch of her self in groves for training the cumin get.’- f cigar with a boy in his mouth should pass j magic wand, changed a Western wilderness into a (■ration—his system is Ivied the jump up Jown tl,e street. Tin's in only tl.c first at- garden Ather bid, citiosiuid town W w J j i r | sprung from earth and forest trees. This trans-1 UM'opt—they soon swear horribly, dunk out- ,• ■ f , , . al a, ew i! w J J Form at 11 in is far more wonderful than the fabled j rageously, drive fast horses, and gamble, j birth of Minerva from Jupiter’s brain. Soon the ■ Young America deems it an honor lobe Iron Horse will run through mountain passes, j Turkey is nowhere. Mouths speaking the j acquainted with prize-fighters, bullie.1, theft- J quenching his thirst with Atlantic and Pacific wa-i j L. Paine W. Tunnard, I II. BiACKALLER, F. Thornton, M. Beam, II. Holland, and take it—far better adapted to rendering juveniles smart than the Peripatcctic, which means, run around and catch it. Young 2d Flageolet. 1st Guitars 2d “ Accordeon. language of sober earnestness, and pens re j tre-acto sr and persons of doubtful charac cording that which is not fiction, moved by the teachings of past and present experience, vouch for the truth of the assertion just made. Tongues nre, as market reports say, “active” with respect to the present slate of affairs, and Hungary, a tall gaunt youth, is blubbering over the abdominal way in which things are managed. Why fa this? Can it be that Turkey, Jr., regarding the piteous tales of bis very reverend pater and mater, has become chicken- tcr—thinks reason and experience obsolete terms—hap no regard for age, reasoning from analogy, that as old boots are good for nothing, old fogies nre ditto—denies the truth of revelation—calls religion a humbug, and delights in reading Atheistical works—- tors. Those who dwell near the Western Ocean’s . bench, will in a few years know the thoughts of j their Eastern brethren by a lightning Messenger— j the swift winged Mercury of modern times. In| almost every village Sanctuaries show, that, Progress i has not signed the death-warrant of Religion. Science and Learning have not been idle spectators j of the great march of events—where, a short time I ago, nought but the wild bird’s song or rustling Tom Paine and oltaiie are his text books j fa ves broke the solitude that reigned in a Forest —nothing gives him greater pleasure than ] primeval 4 there have they erected a temple in which Devotees may pay their homage. Over its portals might, well be inscribed these words— I “ Kenyon, dedicated to the Goddess of Wisdom, — j its lofty spire points to Heaven, teaching the | to be called an infidel, because it’s so independent—criticises sermons, and discusses theological points very sagely—settles the hearted, and allowed himSelf to be cooped ? j affairs of foreign nation and of, his own thnt Id course should bo up. j Yea verily, as saith David the Seer, who, | country. Young America puts the 4‘ pid i ward. being a monk rf the Benedict order, is Gentleman and Lady” on allowance, and Kenton College leads the van of Western Insti-j posted in everything relative to Turkey, tells them they mustn’t go out without per- Even Harvard and Yale must look to their 1 , , , . . . I . . | » , e .. | laurels—stars in the Eastern horizon arc not always .sad Recounts have been received concerning , idimimi—the only distinction between father []]c mmt brilliant weaUh ia nnt nfreMariVy thc B. C. CuTLitn Shanghai and Poland—the first, although a ; and son is, one foots and the other makes youth ol a literary turn of mind (being | the bills. There are several e pee ies of the mm Kenyon Cadets OFFICERS. Captain. much given to scratching) has gone into the , Young America genus :—First, your “ nice ‘hina trade, and by becoming a counter- young man,” who, dressing in the extreme hopper, has shown that he is not, a lad of; of fashion (reminding one of a portable fur much spirit ; the fast, having roosted from ; Dishing house), having very delicate hands, his labors, has been inferred (on his own a still more delicate head, and legs a la pipe dung hill)—his fowl heart will doubtless be ( stem, promenawds for inspection. Another ■washed clean. Young Greece Itas (logon- is the Bowery kind—one of the b'hoya— « rated. Ilia father before him was some-1 who don’t associate with the former because I ivhat notorious, and is now (n'cammilltf men-r bis cranium is so weak he can't drink. Be-mined by Collegiate Orators. As we just] sides these there are sub-species, the Ultra now said, Young Greece has degenerated— j and Moderate Young Americas—for the no one hears of him unless it be good old latter we profess to have an affinity—yet, Griddle-cakes. History affirms that the though moderate, .we’re “Some,” as will family has w vr had a great aversion to , be seen by referring to the first page, where,, j blushes ti» see Venn. . sign of excellence—a vast number of Students DwroHT Jarvis, sometimes implies great reverence for antiquity. I j 'p Sterling la 1. — —.—11 ■.«««..] il.. — 4 IA 1 « J. N. Gamijle. C. H. James, F. D. Tunnard, T. M. James, It is needless to record the praises of President arid Faculty—we will just say of them that success at lends every effort, prosperity rewards patient toil, and SHidenfa bean beat responsive to their own. Lot each and all cherish and protect our glorious Alma Mater: I. M. Sowers, W. H. Tunnard, 1st, Lieutenant, 2d 3d 1st Orderly Sergeant, 0,1 14 II 3d “ 41 1st Corporal. 2d Privates too numerous to mention. Wanted— A buckle fur Jupiter’s belt. Afao a String for the biggest Liar in College. Why is Sanford’s Female Seminary like a Plan- j , tation store-house ? Because it fa filled with ; Why is the “Junior Class” like a large river ? u Lassies sweet. ; Because it begins with a little “ Brooke ' and. ends What would a father say to his daughter Jin j wiih mighty • Torrence.” tilda,” if he wished certain young gentlemen's Why arc the Young Ladies” at thc “Semina-letlers destroyed? Til Butn-cw. iry” like eager crowds around a “Post Office?' Win' does Mars look so ruddy? Because he i Because tfaty are anxiously wailing forth© “Males.” 1 Why i? this line put in? To fill unit the page.

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Largely- talks of future prospects, Flaiiuu his riags and silver tooth-picks. Cyclopedic draws from Libr'y, Speculation cites in Mulb’ry, Quote his authors, learned very, Lute-scrape tells of Harper’s Kerry, Distance gives to Londonderry ; Boxes, fences, rows his wherry, “ Tight” and social gets on Sherry, Singing Royal Tom and Jerry, ProlL accosts in mood quite merry, With quizzical questions On points as positions, Or lines running “ criss-cross,”— Or who was the “ man of Ross Ju fact ij ul nunr Soph, is never at loss ; •Giving everything Jits” and particular r ov.v.” In search of fun, his wits will turn and twirl, and twine and twist, Like popping corn, from guzzling pop to jine a ' pop” at whist: Kin’lly t may show how Sophs esteem the College legal code, IF from their customary life we venture ’n episode. Arcnmp'ny him when “hooking” chickens. (With Proxy's hen-foostraising dickens,”) Observe with what surpassing skill, The leathered bipeds he’can kill. From pockets stored with fixings” droll, He draws a plumping brimstone roll, Light-shedding lucifer in hand, J '•-rmits him occupants at roost to scan, Till tiu’lly—fattest, finest fowl, Fair, favorite bird of Proxy’s soul, Suffers th ignominious death Of brimstone, smoth’ring out of breathy And now to nimble heels betake The boys. Lest noise Should dream-drugged Prcx awake. iMt them next in College -attic, Employed in maimer most uneUssir, One picks the fowl, ’uother makes fire. The rest, with pregnant brain, conspire And fabricate a roasting jack, 0) rating chicky on his back. Suspended by the Move-pipe wire. I Aid reused,- save picking, is cooked the chicken. Bill lu ! udjjupU,' when sav’ry pullet Is fit to fill each Soph'more gullet: ” IloiiHKKfH’Si ACI’ITC,” the tread or Tutor bnnircmv— ■ , % As with a strangled curst'--IV fumy ! ! goes the chicken under bed. “JlvI FLY!! for stomach's sake, and love !!!— Flip the feathers in t’ the stove ! Pocket lump, forlorn, of butter '— Plump the salt into the water Fnug, beneath inverted dipper, Put the paper of black pepper ! Here! the loaf of bread secrete, Wrapped within the dirty sheet ; And lastly sprinkle “ Eau Cologne,” The fumes ot “ Lager Bier” to drown. With visage stern and elongated, Tute” thumps, and louder calls each minute ; 0 ! Soph-o mo-res 1! fun is fated 11! lute mulls me scrape, anil Knows you're in it! On them now Tute lays long hand bony, And carefTy scans each physiogn'my. With apprehension great, they wait Till “ Facuitas” decides tluir fate. ’Fore Fac'liy 'reigned, sage Prott nnd Prcx, Their wits with interrogatories vex, Beginning Verbal inquisition By .substantial exposition In terms, deliberate Of. crime, to each confederate ; While, with incipient slobber, eight Great Sophomores corroborate The Tutor's story ; All blubbering and cbickrtflc? , This civYi confessing wickedness, Vow each and alt they're sorry. Then Prcx. from chair of state arises, And on each criminal puts eyes,—hi5 Very wig, (as stiff and prig as sprig of pine on native twig,) ■Seems fairly to appreciate its place on presidential pate. Alii now throughout ti e t iring flock Knees (like Belshazzar’s) ’gin to knock; Willi si lire sharpest, Prexy sticks it j o the chops, in “ i t dud. Quid est Jruc tranMibstnniiation, Jn vestruni nunium, conformation ? svjiu'if'—this Ls twin iI Makes you’ve sulIeiVd accusation of “ fowl proceeding ” 1!! o mu! Ghosts gallinaceous bleeding, Cackle retaliation ! Bui Soplio-mores, quite past mending! Past dismissing ! ! past suspending!!! Kste ! Go hence, straight-way depart ; Hereafter, watch jour apple-cart. KENYON REVEILLE. ! Thus through lingual labyrinth, | Dense Latin lore and Grecian myth, Mathematical ramification. And vast mental hot here lion, S»pli parses last exam illation. ’ A dashing Junior now you see ! ; Who can visit the girls as he ? Who can stand so hard a spree ? | Straight us straw—facile ns flea, : With fillip of finger, anti slap nil knee, lie | Hurrahs il»r. “Junior,” so jolly anti free ! | Of Fresh” an l Foph” we gave example, j Tis fair to Finnish Junior sample. I Follow him in stub n flight 'I’o ■ tow n” some clear, cool, idle night; Whose darksome wing will kindly hide Junior’s rip-maiing. devious ride. ! Procuring liv’ry horse and buggy— With .“3 pint flask and gallon jug, lie Starts for town.; and there arrived, Goes down “ to lake a horn,” ’Till whiskey-fled and wit deprived Declares he “ wont go home till morn,” | But being told 'tv4U hirer do, lie quail’s parting sling (a sling that will l slew, j Ere ho mounts Je1m’s seat, With jug 'tween his feet, 1 And flask full of blue-min” true, i Returned ;— the echoing College walls ’ Resound with squalls, and bawU, and falls, : And patriotic speech : Beginning—“ 8ic gloria transit mundi,” Wiir-n first 1 sailed the “ Bay of Fundy”— I Ending with sienfor screech. • Philanthropic fellows fast congregate, I On Junior's” physical wants to wait; j Four seizing legs, and one each arm, | To hide him ere Tote lakes.alarm. | While friends half-dozen at Junior tug, j Classmate-cronies drain the jug, | Containing spirit mighty— | Tile student’s aqua vitae,” f True panacea! drug. : .Survey the Junior stretched on pallet. With head obtuse as pavior's mallet; His limbs drawn up, his hat drawn down, Half-minus rim—whole minus crown— I With nose bedabbed and one eye scabbed, And hair besmeared with tally, | His dhhuhdte— ! I really feel I cannot tell the half he-j '6 so much worse, 1 M'lfl T 1 « « J Could ne’er express 1 The (Ieip distress A Junior ’ll sink in, j B’ rum drinking. Suffice to say, ! Quite late next day, ! With aching head, j And optics red, lie limps to recitation : ' First taking “ hair of dog that hit him j (Since fourth-proof” will for duty fit him)— Here ends our Junior explication. Without intending aught imperious, We’ll give the modicum of serious. What is it steeds the heart fraternal, i With Hoi-east fires of rage interim a! ? ! What prompts the once kind hand paternal, To crush life filial or maternal ? Inebriation !!! What is it bites the bud of youth ? Or blights the blossoms bright of Truth ? And rends tin; brain with maniac tenth. Fills Tophet’s quenchless tires forscoth, Crown probation ? ’Tis Liquor-born Intoxication, et—world’s curse, And life’s vexation ! [ | Beware, my friends, your education Shall not include Inebriation! ! I Let Light of Love—Supernal Love, i He guiding star for all above, i While Science holds her torch on high, To light life’s pathway rntnth the sky : So when the head lies low in death, And hushed this feeble, finite breath, ’Twill count as hour of richest worth, | That blesses with celestial birth. I One more to Juniors let us turn, j For Juniors live, as well as learn— Curtailing in their epilogues, ! As tadpoles curtail into frogs. At closing exhibition (in bran new coat and breeches,) Juniors make their farewell, self-sufficient speeches. Which critics snub, and class-mate quizzes, But friends call ttJairt, with smirking phizxes. Comes flow the Fourth Olympic act on stage. Where undergraduates alway rage. The Senior gage— fo Great personage— Experience-crammed—Live-lettered pn ? ’ Containing ages Of Ancient JSa cs : I o Thucydides and Socrates— Euripides and Sophocles— J Classical gamut of nil the B And Cs J nd Ds and Ks and Gs, [That ever existed, (or had their necks twisted.) I Books having devoured,‘inside of a billion, From Fausl's first fruits, clear up to Quin-iillian. And so down again to “ Reading for Million,” He hobbies his volumes as women ride pillion. All olden rivers, founts, mounts, trees. And antediluvian things you please. Are at tongue’s end ; Senior sagacities ne’er bend 1 To bildie blast, j But standing fast, I Sustain like Alias, on the shoulder, A world of boluses and boulder. Lingual, Mathematical, Critical, Philosophical and Political. Inflamed with furor academical. [Seniors surly and polemical, Discuss queer questions of philologic lore, To all save selves a special bore.. ; At last lie terminates Futitlh Bvr,” Capping classical career— r Olympiad collegiate— i Tin' four year's game j “ (w grand excelsior fidget, , Concentrates “ name and fame,” i Showing great pow’r ami mental quickness, In graduating Ode on College Sickness.” Imagine then Commencement day, Last act Olympiad, When spectacled and lean as shad, The Seniors make display. Words, tropes and figures ’scape the oral Like broadsides from the ports of first-rate frigate. J Apologetic tqelhod, it may teach, j So fancy the following Senior speech : lYllo XV Students ! ’Tis strange, ’mid the ills of which scholars complain. That eating and drinking ne’er goes 'gainst the grain ; ’Midst ear-aches and tooth-aches ad libit , IThey stuff every edible natur’H prohibit, I But if study’s in question, (tho conscience may prick,) The bore's voted (Sown by declaring they’re sick,— Coughs, dyspepsias, sprains and catarrhs, And every known ailment under the stars, L1., nitf 1i dn.mhnrr race mgr prognostication Of evil effects and dire inflammation. But whether it rains, sleets, blows or snows, Let but dinner-bell break the invalid’s doze, Ficknefes no longer abed will repose, Cripples recover the use of their toes, Down from each hand the text-book goes— What recks reading e’en Crusoe or Tupper, W hen bell rings for breakfast, dinner or supper. Most remarkably strange why Rush or Dewees Didn’t prescribe as remedies crackers and cheese. Or beef steak and turkey, to students when ill In place of vile suits or Brandreth's pill; Since College Physicians give rhubarb or ipecac, Whether for chills, colds, corns, or ‘ crick -in-back.’ And yet notwithstanding one’s been very sick, Tute exacts excuses for dclinquence during week : ‘Absent from prayers, morn and eve, for four days ! Excuse, Sir !’ (The student is lost in amaze.) ‘ i think's a mistake, Sir, in ringing the bell, And, really, must add, Sir, I felt quite unwell : There's Tuesday, all day, Sir, confined to my bed, And Wednesday, so ill. Sir, I had to be bled ; And Thursday, in running, I down the stairs fell, So ’twas late Friday night before I felt well.’ Late at Church Sunday morning, and left afternoon,’ Is answered by pleading— I’s locked in my room, The key was outside. Sir, and some one stole past. I So before I could help it, the door was locked fast. | For this valid reason I was not at church, 'Because, you perceive, I was left in the lurch ; .That afternoon, also, my boots being worn, IThey leaked very badly, and my stockings were torn, .Much water soaked in through the unmended soles, Danop’niog my feet’per-medium of holes ; ' Aly health is quite poor, and in fact I’m not stout, And that’s the excuse, Sir, for thusgoingout.’ ! It is often remarked why students don’t die Since, in fractures and illness, they each other vie ; • But the truth ’s been discovered in this Institution, The one most unwell has the hot constitution ; And want of appetite chu fly arises, ; From eating rich tarts and Loo many i ijsskh ; I While fevers and agues, and bilious diseases, Result from night-scrapes, and going, or- i SPKKCSKS. ! Hence, we ween, if epistles were sent to each daddy, ; Purporting that Jack had constructed a , paddy,’ [ Or Turn, w hile enjoying a bnsL’ or a ‘snap- i Had conquered a peace with the bill’s pon-d'rous chipper, Their daddies would foam, and order them home, , Ere measures were taken to bundle their j bacon, ' Bv out-blottincr names from the huge Col- lege tome. ■ But we must nT continue to tire and detain I you, | These College complaints and cure-alls to show ; Just a moment’s advice, and we're through in a trice. And further than this all gos.dp forego : We’re ’bout to remit you a splendid receipt, ! Composed by Dutch chemists, and called quite complete ; | 'Twill bring on an illness in double quick time, 1 Much less than expended in scrawling this rhyme. R.—Take of pepper and pipe stems about a pound, I Put into a stew-pan and swiftly stir ’round ; | Of strong plug tobacco then add a large pilR i And tincture lobelia full half a gill; | After simm’ring an hour, take off to cool, And have the whole compound according to rule. When, therefore, a lesson you cannot recite, j Of bolus above take a ‘big bite, j Your eyes will begin to roll ’round in their sockets. And pains epigastric shoot through you like rockets ; Should the Doctor be called—to his nose putting stick. He’ll vow in good earnest you’re dang’rously sick. But. always be careful in Inking this truck, it Might possibly cause you tokick the bucket.’ The Graduate demurely now, all see Receive long-looked-for-corae nt-last A.B., ! He scarcely lives throughout the day.; I But when Nox drives old Sol away, | Tho’ cranium holds of wit such heap, he 1 Nevertheless feels tired and sleepy, So pulling night cap hard on head, He puffs out light and pops’into bed. The Riley House Is now open for the nccoiminxlalioii Traveller Halls, and Bailies,. By K. Ill LEV. A. G. Scott Would sny to th? Public, the Students, and the “ fL‘st of mankind, that he has just, received a splendid stock: of Fancy Dry Good . Call and sec the Elephant. Mrs. Sawer’s HOT COFFEE AND OYSTER SALOON, Is opened for the reception of Ladies uceVGrntkv iiien every evening, (Sundays excepted.) Remember your “ Old Friend, boys. Students, Don’t forget to go to u Norton's ” and -sec the earn, come iu, loaded with just what pm want—-Drv Goods and Groceries—cheap for cash. It k a fact, they say; Buzzard Ilils Mailed a regular “ Oyster Depot, where W keeps const am ly on hand a fredi supply. Give him a call. Winter ’s Coming. Get your TUmts at Duke's,” yner Shoes at “Levi’s,” anil kme your niuiiey with ■ Snyder.’1' All ginnl Jlhop-s. Remember RUTNAM'S HOOK STORE—for your special benefit. Printing. Win n vmi want Btruling done go fothu ” West tnr Episcopalian ” Office.