Kenston High School - Kenstonian Yearbook (Chagrin Falls, OH)

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f X ta ai ta From the office of C. QGotta-Dimej Stuckey World's Best Educated Bum Prophecy Dear Mr. Denholm, M ooLxI I have spent thewgreaterllportionof the last several years traveling about the United States lookingggispiithe members of the Glass of 1958 from Kenston High School. I started my search being kicked off a-.train by the conductor, ELAINE BUCHA, at Bainbridgeffownship. I stopped at a nearby house for breakfast and was greeted at the door by HALDEMAN, famed pajama party chaperon, and the famous pajama party ser, BOB soLT1s. .I offered to take me to breakfast at Nelson's Hereford Inn, owned by the renown rfsafibfstlaiggfaenteur, JOHN NELSON, where we were served by BETTY SMITH, who has found a usefsior her valuable training at Isaly's. I learned from Judy that some of our old classmates are making a name for them- selves in New York, so, after breakfast, I hopped a freight for the big town. Upon arrival I looked in a newspaper to see if any Kenstonites could be found in its pages. Sure enough I saw in the sports section that TOM WENNERSTROM was refereeing a ladies' wrestling match that night. In the personalities section I noticed that JIM EASTON, the famous magician, has been run out of town after trying a new way to cut a girl in half--his assistant, MARLENE SILVERNAIL, is now under the care of PEGGY CLOSE, often called Florence Nightingale the second. I see in the gossip column that Peggy is assisting DAVE CHAPMAN, owner of the largest funeral parlor in town, in his business. WENDY MCDEVITT, now monkey-keeper at the Bronx Zoo, was on the front page of the paper. It seems she was mistaken for one of the monkeys and has spent the last four days in the monkey cage. Also on the front page were RONNIE and MARY DERECSKY. Ronnie had been caught supplying bootleg liquor to Mary, bartender at the Statler. Passing a newsstand I noticed on the cover of LIFE, a picture of BARBARA BOD- NOVICH, now head majorette at West Point. Also featured in LIFE, was a story by WANDA PAULI, IWAS ELVIS PRESLEY'S SECRETARY. 1 heard a voice calling, buy or get and there was NORM SIEGEL, the owner of the newsstand. Norm said that he had noticed a lot of our former classmates were making the news in California. I then rode Qunderneathj the Limited and Super Chief to California, where, sure enough, I found many of our classmates. Several old friends were making names for themselves at Bonneville. JIM BARNARD, with the able assistance of his two mechanics, SARAH IRONS, and RUTH JAYME, holds the world's record for the 1X4 mile. Close behind him are BOB fBig Erniej BALL and CHARLEY QLittle Erniej BROWN, while there is a chance that FRED fSchleepyj SCHLEY, might overtake them all. At Muscle Beach, SHELLA BARTHOLOMEW holds the record for turning 1001 cart- wheels. BILL TAYLOR is now a TV star, he drives the 20 mule team for Borax commercials. Almost everyday, high overhead New Mexico, BETH PEMPIN can be seen setting a new speed record for jet planes. She is still the fastest girl around. At White Sands, New Mexico, heavily guarded by GARY LICHTY and his faithful tank, some former Kenstonites are working on the sending of a missile to the moon. JUDY SIMMONS will be the co-pilot on the contraption sent up by those three great scientists, LARRY BROWN, WALTER D. NEWTON, and JON STOUT. Incidentally, all the information for the trip was gathered from that storehouse of information, Univac JAMES Footpad ADAMS. I noticed a sign alongside a road that read Visit BOB FREAS' Hiprice Club, Miami, Florida. So I made it my next stop. Hitch-hiking through Texas I stopped at the World's largest pig farm, run by LYNNE HOFFMAN and her head pig pen cleaner, PAT FONTA- NELLE. I then resumed my trip to Florida. - At Daytona Beach, LOIS HEGEDUS is setting record after record in the stock car events. SUSIE EGGLESTON is now the chief movie cgnsorxfor the state of Florida. She re- cently banned Bugs Bunny as beingtoogiflirtatidjiis. X I agrrived at the Club Hiprice as2Bob -o jNasf,going.?in the door. to se the show. The main featurefwaiRICHEERENCIE, Liberace. if ,, . ,7 f wt: H ' r ' , PBELL, organ grinder, s fenaaed pefople at tljififtables. Ogpmeach table was a bowl of pretzels, each one havin f' en 12ent5h35fBO ADE. It Bob -o does a f boo g business. i ' As aieft the club I was sl l ised ACKLEY the selling slihgiken heads. she Qpjoys work, she meetyiib People' Anne told me that SANDRA WIEBUSI5i2Mfw1e -of the best psifzhofogyists iiizffthevarea ,,.,,... and is now trying to cure Rin-Tin-Tin OQZQ-D , is aim under the care of JOHN DINES, .,.,, ... I , And, last but not least, it is believed but rfbggyproven is chief organist in heaven. hggff Plffi, Well, Mr. Denholm, this just about sums it up. have enjoyedfhisfiesume of the success of our Class of '58. Maybe I should get there's always one rotten apple in a barrel! ',, C. fGotta-Dimej Stuckey Q! f

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