Kennedy High School - Profiles Yearbook (Bloomington, MN)

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s soon as Kennedy students heard of the possibility of Lincoln closing — but after breathing a sigh of relief — their tiny minds began spinning with all the possible changes that would be made. What would the new school colors be? Would Kennedy retain its identity in this small way. keeping blue and gold, or in an attempt to make the Lincoln-ites more at home, will the colors be changed to that of Lincoln, green and white? Or. to pose an even more disturbing question, would the two schools combine to create the new school colors, resulting in aqua and pastel yellow? If this is not confusing enough, what would the new classes be like? Would Kennedy provide some classes for the displaced Lincoln-ites designed to mainstream them into Kennedy life? Would there be yet others designed to guide Kennedy students in getting along with Lincoln students? We have attempted here to provide next year's students, be they native or immigrants, with an idea of what could be in store for them. Here is a helpful catalogue of existing classes, and the premiere of some designed especially for the possible merging of the two schools, hopefully reducing the number of school closing related deaths. Courses change to meet needs of possible Kennedy immigrants Modern Study Habits This will prepare the Lincoln student for the lower curve here at Kennedy. The course will help the Lincoln student through the emotionally and physically difficult transition from studying two hours for a one hour test, to studying during passing time for a final. Teachers Pet Basic Requirements: Student must be friendly, sociable, and have a personality compatible to that of the teacher. He she must be able to make coffee, take attendance, and sit around looking bored. Believe it or not. this earns you a credit. (See also Advanced Teacher's Pet or Student Assistant.) Elementary Wall-Writing This class will explore the major differences between the wall-writing in the two schools. Lincoln students will be guided from Chip and Muffy. Love for ever and ever. But not til after we’re married. to the more traditional here at Kennedy. Bubba and Woman.” She gives it to him so he takes her out.” Creative Rhythms Basic Requirements: Student must be able to read music, distinguish basic rhythms, intereact positively within a large group, feel comfortable on stage, learn various musical styles, study classical, modern, and jazz music, and effectively perform all of these, and above all, must look good in hot pants and ugly black shoes. Sleeping Studies in Basic Money - Basic Homework Confusion Management Basic Requirements: Basic Requirements: Basic Requirements: The course will take the Students must be capable The successful Kennedy Student should already student on a trip through of napping through a English student must be have completed a course the fascinating world of documentary film on the capable of juggling three in Introduction to financial management. causes and effects of the notebooks, theme paper. Basic Confusion or its This class will instruct War of 1812 without 12 pens, five equivalent. He must be able the ex-Lincolnites on the drooling on the desk. pencils, a dictionary. to appear as if he best investment opportunities Top ten in this 25 pounds of textbooks. comprehends all obscure in the stock market. class can be more than a typewriter, and an aged concepts until five minutes banking investments, and easily recognized by a English tutor while madly before test time, then liquid assets, while the red blotchy sleeve running to a quickly whine obnoxiously. But Kennedy student will learn imprint on their departing school bus 1 don’t understand! of important investments cheeks, foreheads. through a violent throng while peering over such as food, clothing. and wrinkled clothing. of migrating students. his neighbors shoulder. and shelter. Learning Feature 23

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Experimental Self-Torture Basic Requirements: To be truly successful and reap the full benefits of this class, the student must study at least one hour per night, three hours prior to each test, have an extremely analytical mind, a deep sense of curiosity, and a superior amount of intelligence. Or at least sit next to someone who does possess these qualities. Attendance 101 Basis Requirements: Student’s talents must vary according to what hour the study hall is taken. For example, students with this class first hour must have the need for an extra hour of beauty sleep, and those with the class last hour must have their own car and faithfully watch “General Hospital.” Right: This winter. Lincoln's Bear may undergoe his longest hibernation ever. With his identity soon to be lost. Kennedy's Eagle takes Lincoln's Bear under his wings to otter consolation. 1001 ways to be Misunderstood Basic Requirements: The language student must be able to mumble incoherently, and have the desire to do this in other languages than his or her own. He she must also have the wish to be able to discuss only complex thoughts for the first few years, such as “What is your name? and “My father is a butcher, and my mother cooks breakfast. Environmental Vocabulary This class will cover the basic differences in language use. The Kennedy student will learn to pronounce and use such alien sentences as. “When do we get to take the final? and Yes. I am in the top ten percent, while the ex-Lincoln student will learn to say the more basic “Duh. Uh-huh. and Hey! Sweat Studies Basic Requirements: Student must be capable of responding to the nickname Jock” and must provide own deodorant, or find a good buddy who will share. Also, student should be able to yell with great enthusiasm Go team! while engaging in no more physical exertion than is absolutely necessary to barely pass the course. Reality 1-A Basic Requirements: These classes are meant to prepare the student for the real outside world. They are designed to instruct students in such talents that can be utilized to help the student’s future career in a profitable and enjoyable job choice. Providing your job choice is within the scope of the law. 22 Learning Feature

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 am so scared.” “Me too. The moment we walk in to Kennedy, we’ll get raped, or killed, or worse! I’ll have to break my leg a lot. That way, I can take the elevator and avoid all the gang wars in the halls. No. wait! I'll JOIN a gang. I don’t want to look real conspicuous. We’ll have to start planning now for next year. We’ll have to prepare ourselves for all the violence. I’m not used to the sight of blood. I know. I’ll check the want ads under 'bodyguard'. “No. too obvious. “I wonder if my mother , has ever considered going back to school. How are we going to get all the money we'll need for school? Whips, chains and brass knuckles don’t come real cheap, you know. I’ll take up selling drugs. After all. if I don’t sell it to them, someone else will, right? Maybe I can expand, and pick up the elementary school routes. I could be a multi-millionaire by the end of my senior year! I could take money out of my college fund. I’m sure I could get the money back, somehow. I hear the Army has a really great plan.” “This is beginning to look better and better. We won’t have to worry about going away to school. We can stay right here at home and go to Normandale. I mean, an education is an education, right? When school boundaries were changed. Lincoln's Tim Carlson and Jefferson's Mike Welle found themselves having to give up and give in a little to adapt to a different school. 24 Feature