Kennedy High School - Profiles Yearbook (Bloomington, MN)

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While our parents were boring the world with such activities as rubbing candle wax on screens of teachers' windows or tipping over garbage pails . . . The Great American TEEPEE . . . Students of the 70s, reflecting the teachings of Modern American Public Education, discovered that TP has more than one use, one that's purely social. Time: 7:11 p.m. Members of East Bloomington Special TP Forces plot evening's strategy. Members select TP on basis of squeezable Softness and list victims in Order of priority, also based on degree of squeezable softness. Time: 7:23. Commandos case victim's territory to make sure he's at home and occupied with something other than another girl. Indeed, this victim, Kurt Schuster, is unoccupied and definitely looks squeezable. Time: 7:25. Victim hears strange noises in yard and sends killer beast to investigate. Commandos subdue killer beast with big kisses and promises of generous payments of Bonamo's Turkish Taffee, chocolate flavor. Time: 7:35 p.m. Defying her early toilet training. Chief Commando K. Gilbertson, sljows that she has learned to us«’ TP in a way other than the one Mother Gilbertson and Mother Nature had intended. Time: 7:55 p.m. Special Forces troops K. Gilbertson, T. Fetter, J. Christensen, I. Beckstrom, and W. Peichel vie for notice from Guinness Book of World Records after covering a 15-foot birch with an amazing 20 rolls of TP, double-ply. Time: 8:10 p.m. Officer John Nelson of the Police Toilet Paper Defense Squadron is skeptical as he examines blueprints for a gigantic outhouse to go next to the toilet paper rack they've just completed. 19

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STUDENT LIFE The decision was ours to make. . .whether to be a part of that special world of the high school student or to sit and watch, once-in-a-lifetime moments pass us by. For those of us who chose to join in, ours was a celebration, a celebration of life.

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Sugar and spice, and everything nice. Snakes and snails and puppy dogs' tails. A remembrance of things past. 1963. A time to remember. . . when seniors' hearts were young and boys cried as often as did the girls, when having a new set of Crayolas was about the most important thing in the whole world. It was 13 years ago when this year's graduates first began their careers, and teachers started talking about what the Class of '76 would be like when these students advanced from fingerpainting in class to teepeeing at night. Kindergarten: It is hard to tell who cries the most, you or your mother as she walks you to school and gives you a good-luck kiss. First grade: Nervous but excited about your first hot lunch, you get into the line. All goes well until your classmates object to you getting 2 scoops of potatoes. You turn red as the cook tells everyone that it's because you're a little large for your age. Second grade: You ask to be line leader but get sent to the back because the teacher is mad about you getting sick all over the kid in front of you. After . that, it is tough to get someone to hold hands in the lunch line. For the first time, you discover what it means to perspire. Third grade: The ultimate in embarrassment comes when a GIRL beats you up the rope and your manhood is threatened. You vow never to speak to her-again, or at least until you beat her at something like arm wrestling. You know how to cheat at that game. Fourth grade: Oh, the bother of it all. . . You wonder what you can do to make yourself less appealing. Your reputation is endangered as girls keep giving you the eye. Deep down, however, you aren't worried about getting girlitis because you've had your daily girl germ shot. Fifth grade: Incredible, You're only 10 years old and your social life is already over. You have to miss the neighborhood pom-pom-poloway game because you've got to stay in and do homework. Yech. Whoever invented long division should be shot. 20