University of Kansas - Jayhawker Yearbook (Lawrence, KS)

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ii TIM AIPM9 CI-4S NAY -RING AROUND TIM RUSHEE and white banners which spelled out A.R.D. ( Alpha Rolda Dice) across his flanks. Arthur had just begun to unscrew his armor, when he heard a slight noise. He wheeled in time to note a diminutive figure creep stealthily through the transom. The figure was that of a small man dressed in foreign raiment. The man approached him and cried out in a hoarse whisper. So, Arthur Uther! Ye have pledged A.R.D. Ye have sinned. Hearken ye not to them for they are publicans and sinners, and do roll up their pantlegs. They teacheth that women art wicked. Yea, they have mocked thee and thou hast done wrong to listen. Arthur was sore afraid, and asked, I pray thee, sire, how mayest I atone for my sins? Whereupon the man drew from his pocket a button saying, By this token ye shall serve penance. Wear it and suffer no more the company of evil men. Therewith Arthur ceived the button, and the man withdrew, ing Arthur to appear at the Rho Rho house on the morrow. Thus it did happen that Arthur was once more alone in the room but ere he could pause to clear his brow, when a person ap- peared from beneath the bed, and Arthur was as- tonished with a great as- tonishment. Then did the stranger address himself to Arthur, saying, Thou art sur- prised but ye must put aside thy incredulity for I am the bearer of the true gospel which is that of Lambda Nu. Renounce those others for they are but tempt- ers. Be thou attentive therefore whilst I set thee straight. And Arthur listened while the stranger did proclaim the glories of Lambda Nu beside which the others measureth not, and as he spike he taketh from the lapel of Arthur ' s armor, the one button, and putteth back another. De- siring not to wait until the morrow, the stranger led Arthur and shorn of his A.R.D. garments, down the fire-escape and out into the night. PARTE, THE FIFTHE Having accepted the emblem of the barbaric band, Lady Hortense was relieved of her shackles and al- lowed to step forth into the dank halls of the castle. The walls of the dim hallway were lined with stone statues in female garb. As she was being led down the passage, Hortense gazed at these figures in amaze- ment. What be these strange figures? she inquired of her guide. The gaunt woman that was leading her turned slowly about and peering into her eyes, she gruffly replied, Alums. Hortense was led into a circular turret and seated in a large oak chair. The room was filled with large muscular women garbed in battle array. As she sat down, two Blackamoors lunged at her and strapped her to her seat. As soon as she was securely fastened, the leader of the Amazons stepped forward and ad- dressed her. Pledgeth thou to this sorority?

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FALL NUMBER, 1 9 4 7 23 MEMBERSHIP IN FRATERNITIES IS BY INVITATION ' —Pre-Rush Week Manual Rush List. Arthur. Uther, rejoined Arthur. The group withdrew suddenly and went into a small huddle. Then one of their members called signals and they issued forth out of the huddle reciting in unison, Join our bande, it ' s ye beste in ye lande. Whereupon the leader approached Arthur and affixed upon his shield, a strange device. Another of the group approached Arthur, grasped his hand and quickly unhorsed him with a Judo hold. That ' s our grip, he apologized, Now you ' re a member of Alpha Rolda Dice. Congratulations! Arthur was sore confused. PARTE, THE THIRDE Lady Hortense stirred uneasily about in her cell. She tried desperately to unloosen the shackles which bound her feet, but finding herself unsuccessful, she slumped back into a corner. Searching for some- thing to occupy her time, she fumbled about in the pockets of her robe. She drew out a small pamphlet which had been handed to her at the time of her captivity. It was titled, Instructions to Coeds during Sorority rushing. She read it avidly. Remember above all else that your college career does not depend on being in a sorority— some of the most popular women on the K. U. Campus are not. In fact, some of the most popu- lar women on the K. U. Campus are not at K. U. She started to read further but was interrupted by a scuffling noise outside the door. The massive oak portal creaked slowly open, and two glistening Nubians stepped inside. Their muscles rippled in the yellow flames of the burning pine knots they carried. They stood motionlessly for a moment, their eyes gleaming like red coals in the semi-darkness. Soon a clanking noise sounded down the hallway, and a tall figure, robed in black, entered the room. His face was masked and his head was topped by a black pointed hood. In his hand he carried a spiked mace, and a vicious iron boot. Hortense gazed at him for a brief moment with ever-widening pupils. Then, hesitantly, she spoke, Okay . . . I ' ll pledge. PARTE, THE FOURTHE Arthur carefully tethered Homer in the corner of the room, and then unloaded his equipment. Thoughts of his quest for Hortense and the Grail were far away. Even the thoughts of jolly England, which used to cluster in his head, were far away, for now . . he was a Greek! And Homer . . . Homer was now a Greek horse. Homer grunted, and shifted his weight under the heavy load of red

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FALL NUMBER, 1947 25 Yeseth, gurgled Hortense. No sooner had she spoken than two of the women stepped forward. One pressed a large railroad spike to Hortense ' s shoulder, while the other lifted a sledge hammer and drove the spike home. Does it hurt? the woman asked. No, just a flesh wound, retorted Hortense applying a tourniquet. The leader of the band stepped forward again. Hortense Hoffelmeyer, she claimed, thou hast been spiked. PARTE, THE SIXTHE Taking leave of his brother in Lambda Nu, Arthur proceeded to his lodging to receive the rest of his belongings. He rode Homer boldly up to the door of the Inn, but quickly changed his mind after receiving twelve parking tickets for being too far over the white parallel lines. A slight rain had begun to fall, and the little droplets began to spatter on the cobblestones. As Arthur approached the Inn, the Innkeeper rushed out the door, running at full speed. In his hand he clutched a box of Kleenex. As he reached the street he dropped to his knees and began wiping up the rain as fast as it fell. What cooketh, Innkeeper? asked Arthur, using a colloquialism of the day. Dost not thou know, Dullard? replied the Innkeeper, this is a drye state. Striking the Innkeeper a stunning blow, Arthur stormed into the Inn and up the rickety stairs to the attic. As he walked, he rudely pushed his way through a line of veterans waiting to sublet his closets. Reaching his room, he entered and closed the door. Hortense was waiting for him. They embraced, and wept loudly and longly over their long ration. Hortense, exclaimed Arthur, I have come for you at last. Too late . . . too late, she muttered, Arthur . . . I have become a Greek! Arthur gazed deeply into her chartruese eyes, and calmly replied, Hortense . . . I ' ll wait for you! Think of it, mused Hortense as she and Arthur strolled out of the Inn, I am now a member of a national organization. As they walked she spied the figure of a woman slouched in a corner. She sped over to the figure. Sister! cried Hortense in a hoarse voice, and embraced the woman vigorously. Pardon me! screeched the woman slapping a splint on her arm. But, cried Hortense, taken back, Art not a Greek? No, screamed the woman, Russo-Chero- kee! Whereupon she struck Hortense a stunning blow and stormed off into the darkness. Arthur labored hard over the inert form of his beloved, seeking to revive her. In quick succession he tried artificial respiration, smelling salts, carbon disulfide, and an oxygen tent, but all to no avail. As a last resort he slowly paced an uncovered bottle of Budweiser under her nostrils. Hortense ately leaped to her feet crying, T.G.I.F., T.G.I.F.! (Continued on Page 93)