Kansas State University - Royal Purple Yearbook (Manhattan, KS)

Page 22 text:

20 - - switchboard

Page 21 text:

71e ar t t ' nat was supposed at to a,-pear Dear r, with this article was not available press time, a flyi probably because the st:-..ff artist (30RFtt% t give r.g donut about a quality yearbook as long as he ckln pick up his paycheck rvery month. :ie rep: fortunate circu rec. Vat- urlast W., SA, however, student activists slowly embarked on the weed-covered path to bridge the gap and bring their fellow students home. But home was not necessarily desirable. SZ and SE were conditions to be avoided, for they were often accompanied by severe symptoms of self- importance and wasteful expenditure of energy with minimal results. But student activists were trying to change. Only change, they found, would bring the serious student burdened with SA out of that despicable state. A plan of action was devised. First, re-evaluation—a favorite word of student ac- tivists—was conducted. Do we need a homecoming, or a women ' s resource center, or a drug education center, or a yearbook, or a concert, or the money necessary to provide any services? It was good start. They found the answers varied, but the qualifiers were always the same: we don ' t need them in their present forms. Those afflicted with SA rarely even made alternative suggestions. Other things were more important to them, as well they should have been. With national affairs, scien- tific research and philosophical contemplation available as topics for argumentation, who needed student ac- tivities to quibble over? Slowly student activism was bringing its programs into line with the students, rather than coercing students Into its sacred activities. The results were promising, but the Student Zealots and Egotists could not be cured. They clung to their favorite activities and pet programs; the stu- dent body was left to find more important topics for their virile minds. And when it came to the point that a beer In Agglevlile was more Important than any student activity, SA had reached epidemic proportions. We hope the activists ' warfare will not arrest its foe .. . and that SA will remain contagious, continuing to Infect and enlighten student minds with matters of consequence rather than the mundane affairs of traditional campus ac- tivities. apathy - 19

Page 23 text:

Switch: The call of adventure by Pam Johnson Morning has broken. So have beer bottles, hearts and aquariums. And there to witness it all are the nocturnal creatures working late-early shifts at residence hall switchboards. Although any moron can run a switchboard, a certain finesse is required to deal with morning crises. The ever- present threat of failure haunts the main desk as operators slumber amidst the buzzing of incoming calls, as the dorm television is carried out the front door, as cans of beer spill across the main desk. Even the most competent employees are vulnerable to error. I stopped a guy one night trying to take a table out the door. I was sleeping at the time—he must have made a noise pushing the door open. I looked up, looked again and yelled ' Hey! What are you doing? ' He dropped the table and ran out the door. I didn ' t report it—just put it back. What would I have said when they asked if I saw him come in? Fantasizing remains one of the most popular stimuli, second only to coffee-drinking. If I really think I ' m going to sleep, I start telling myself it ' s my responsibility to protect 300 lives. I tell myself ' 1 have to keep this phone line open just in case a bomb threat comes in. ' I have to keep paranoid to stay awake. Fantasy is not always necessary to keep switch per- sonnel awake, however. Reality is often bizarre enough. One night, atter Aggleville, a girl came down In flippers, a snorkel and a mask. She went over to the fish tank and kind of flopped around. I just watched her. If all else fails, the noise level may be an effective deterrent to sleep. All you can hear are those elevators—the noise, the humming. You can hear them banging in and banging out. And you hear the fish tank bubbling. I sit there and I say ' god-damn fish tank ' -1 just want to pull the plug out. And the god-damn radiator—I want to go over and HIT that. It ' s so lonely you just pray for someone to come along. And invariably, someone does come along, be it a drunk reeling o ver the main desk or a girl with tangled hair and smudged mascara, creeping in at 5 am. You ' d be surprised at all the girls that walk in at 5:30, pulling up their collars and looking the other way. They run into the elevator and hide In the corner. Inebriated dorm residents are a little more con- spicuous. A couple of times, I had to help someone drag a drunk in . . . so much dead weight . . . we throw them in the elevator and send them upstairs. Falling asleep isn ' t the only temptation of late-night shifts. On one occasion there was a party going on and we Just got bombed sitting at the switchboard. I don ' t even know how we worked that bloody thing. I could tell you a lot of things we ' ve done that we never should have done. Even this year, I have sat down with beer and wine bottles at my feet. Sometimes we get by with ' purple passion ' —it looks just like grape juice. All operators are not as fortunate as these, however. Many spend 12-to-6 am shifts studying. But a few fill the wee hours rehearsing Lily Tomlin ' s operator routines; others tie all the dorms together in five or even six-party lines; and occasionally, an operator makes a stab at play- ing Ann Landers. Messages are said to be best early Saturday morning. when the typical message is an apology. Asking for Susie, the slurred voice on the line might say, I didn ' t mean what I I. . . would you please tell her I didn ' t mean what I tried to do to her last night. Reputedly, night operators offer more than an answer- ing service. Lonely night vigils are spiked with gossip mongering, and yes—fumbling espionage. I ' m sure that sometimes people listen in on conver- sations. We can click into rooms silently and they ' ll never know we ' re listening. There ' s one girl that ' s constantly flipping in on her boyfriend. Keeps tabs on him. I guess. Diluted but not dissolved, integrity endures. Sometimes. No one ' s really interested in listening—privacy Is one thing really respected. Besides, if you get caught, It ' s automatic dismissal. Physical stamina is not at its apex for anyone at 3 am. Thus originates staff on duty, supplement to operators, eagerly awaiting summons. A veteran remembers one such incident, a battle with Haymaker Hall. Revenge was threatened at 3 am. Staff on duty was called in to referee. Dave, the intercom hisses. Dave, wake up. A low groan and the hero springs to action. ' ' Whadyawan? A shrill voice cries, Dave, I don ' t know what to do—Haymaker just called and said they ' re coming over to break our fish tank. My God, what will I do? One smash and there ' ll be fish all over the main lobby. Staff on duty stumbled out of his room and spent the night fish-sitting. Not only staff members are on call; directors are also susceptible to early morning crises. A policeman once came by and said some guys from our hall were caught running around In sewers. We had to contact the director. Sewer problems of this nature are rather infrequent. Inertia, listlessness, detachment—these are the dis- tinguishing features of the switchboard operator at 4 am. Atmosphere? One yellow lightbulb. dim. Animation? Sweep second hand on the overhead clock. It really gets monotonous sometimes. one operator of a 2-to-6 shift said. No homework, no calls, just sitting there staring at the walls. That ' s when it really hits you. I sit there and have some fantasies. It ' s a tough time of night. switchboard - - 21