Kansas State University - Royal Purple Yearbook (Manhattan, KS)

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Bummer victim fights injustices of 7:30 classes By Dave Chartrand In the battle for survival some species emerge victorious because they are born to god-like roles. They are the epic figures of the Neanderthal Man, the emperors of Rome, the American Indian, the Australian koala bear, and the ball ' point pen. Other forms have bitten the evolutionary dust in a death dance with the elements. Distinctive of the extinct are the sabertooth tiger, pan- ty raids, the Mouseketeers, Brylcream, and I Love Lucy. But one more species must not be slighted. This breed is forced to play those loathesome roles which nevertheless must be cast, and is the victim of tyranny, poverty, injustice and the most infamous of all fates. He is the bummer victim. Yes, the bummer. The bummer is any class scheduled at a crummy time. The bummer transcends patience and stamina. Let us present a typical victim for scrutiny. The most dreaded of the bummer classes Is the 7:30 a.m. This par- ticular gem ranks with such atrocities as the Spanish Inquisition and the Black Hole of Calcutta. It is dark outs ide. The moon and stars are still bright. Somewhere an alarm clock rings. Our victim is In the midst of his favorite dream, but the alarm Is unrelenting. Jeez, I just fell asleep! Dancing across an Ice cold floor is ba d enough. But dressing by the light of a fluorescent watch dial is degrading. Ever try to feel the difference between a brown sock and a black one? Dorm breakfasts are like shooting craps. Sure, one might be pleasantly surprised to find his fa vorite breakfast. But one may also find something that looks like it has been sitting on the radiator since World War II. The odds are frightening. At 7:15 the campus is peaceful, but not still. Dozens of other bummer victims are making the pre-dawn pilgrimage. They move slowly, but not aimlessly. Their gazes are down, but not blank. Their minds are anywhere but the present. The inactivity outside Is con- trasted by the comic relief inside the classroom. You get to see things like girls with their hair rolled in empty HI-C cans. And some guys still have on their pajama tops or bottoms or both. Now, if the instructor shows up on time the students merely hate him. But if he sprints in wearing gym shorts and a red bow tie, singing, Hey, it ' s not so early! the class becomes hostile. And the 7:30 is just one type of bummer. Computers are swell things when they ' re on your side. But they have no hearts in scheduling classes. Don ' t forget the bummer of having an 8:30, a 10:30 and a 12:30 all in Seaton EL 93. If the afflicted soul happens to live on 9th floor Moore, he rots for five hours in the same desk. Immeasurable Joy. Finally we have the 4:30 Friday afternoon bummer. Intolerable to any self-respecting student, it means never getting to Kite ' s in time to save a booth. It means never getting to the Forum for the 7:00 movie before the line is backed up to Seaton Hall. And it means being the last one to leave for home on a holiday weekend. Greater injustices hath no man to en- dure. We feel that the bummer victim will be around forever. Anticipating that event, our hats are off in ap- preciation of his unfailing efforts to make it in a winners ' world. Bummer-17