Joliet Junior College - Shield Yearbook (Joliet, IL)

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inquiry of Mr. Barker, who has not seen it, and does not seem to worry about its loss. Mr. Large How can you teach physiography students to fortell the weather without the map? Mr. Barker— O, my students have all read Goldsmith, and they can ' foresee the day ' s disasters in the morning face. ' ' Mr. Potter— Possibly that explains the laughter I hear coming from Barker ' s laboratory occasionally. Mr. Barker — What do you mean? Mr. Potter Full well they laugh with counterfeited glee, At all his jokes, and many a joke has he. Miss McClenahan— Now what are they all laughing about? We have the most peculiar lot of men on this faculty that I ever saw. They stand around and talk and laugh, but when they tell me, I never see any joke. Mr. Durstine— Haw! Haw! Haw! That ' s just like my boy. Why, he never — Mr. Martin, butting in— Mr. Durstine, what ' s the difference between the Faculty council and the Greek one, held at Delphi? Mr. Durstine— That one was Amphictyonic and this one am fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils. Haw! Haw! Haw! Miss McClenahan — Now, I wonder if that is considered a joke. Mr. Martin— Wrong answer, the ancients remembered the state, while the moderns re-member the classes. Mr. Barker — I expected him to say that they tossed the discus while we discuss the tossers of basket ball, base ball, etc. Mr. Durstine What he had in mind was the antithesis between anci ent feats of strength and modern strength of f Mr. Smith — You are excused. Miss McClenahan— Ha! Ha! Ha! Miss Johnson to Miss McC— Why do you lawf at a statement like that? Miss McClenahan— 0, I was not laughing at that; I just saw the point to Mr. Martin ' s joke. Mr. Martin takes refuge in the Daily Maroon, from which he looks up as Mr. Brown and Mr. Spicer appear. Mr. Brown — Here, how does an English teacher come to be reading a modern newspaper? You ought to be perusing Bill Cax- ton ' s first edition. Mr. Martin, from depth of paper — I see that President Roose- velt has declined to make the Fourth of July speech at the Jamestown Exposition. Mr. Spicer — Couldn ' t the public speaking department of the Thirteen

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Mr. Graves — I wonder. Office gradually fills with teachers and students who line up, awaiting turns for interviews with Superintendent. Chicago tele- phone bell rings. Mr. Brown wanted. Hello! Yes. High School. They did. Sure it was high school boys? Turned on the faucet in your cellar and drowned your chick- ens? My advice? Why next time, buy ducks and let ' em swim. Good bye. As Mr. Brown turns from phone, Enter Student with all his books under his arm muttering some- thing that sounds like a chemical formula. What is the matter, Ki? The News is canned again. Canned? You ought to be caned. What are you up to now ? Didn ' t do a thing. Stopper came out of a bottle of carbon bis- ulphide in my pocket when I was studying in 55, and Mr. Stecker thought I did it. Mr. Brown— I ' ll give you to Miss Woodruff. Miss Woodruff — I don ' t want him. Mr. Brown — Perhaps 30 would be a good place for you. Go down and try it. Exit Fredericks, singing softly, ' I don ' t know where I ' m going, but I ' m on my way. Mr. Brown designates one and then another in the line and rap- idly disposes of several cases of petty larceny, assault and battery, malfeasance in office, malicious mischief, etc. — on the way to inner office, pauses at sound of familiar voice across the room : Miss Marquardt, beaming on her neighbor : I ' m proud of my room, 32, And glad as I can be They put the digits that way round, And not the other. See? Mr. Sears — replying: You ought to be, it seems to me, Removed from melancholy, With acrobats to cheer you up, Like Sehring and young Scully. Mr. Brown, turning — Here, how long has this been going on? Chorus — (Misses O ' Brien, Pollock, Shipman, Sammons, et al.) — About long enough. Mr. Brown, to tall man, who has almost outgrown his hair, Come in, Mr. Spicer. They enter inner office; Mr. Spicer ' s voice is heard saying: It is the finest place for a summer resort — door closes. Mr. Large looks over the mail for his weather map ; then makes Twelve

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High School rise to the occasion? Let Mr. Crawford furnish the gestures. Mr. Brown — Maybe he would, but I doubt it. Re-enter Mr. Clute, in breathless haste — Those outlines finished yet? Miss Cheeseman — Almost; I left out a few of those big words to save time and to make the outlines more intelligible to the students. Is there any difference between the equisetum and the taraxacum dens leonis? I interchanged the words. Mr. Clute, with a sigh — Well, hurry up. I am not going to use them till next week, anyway. (Accompanies Mr. Brown into inner office to lodge complaint against Jim Reed who refuses to buy a text book on the ground that the only subject in which he passed last semester was one for which he had no book.) Enter Miss O ' Leary, who goes directly to inner office and pre- sents note left on her desk the previous day. Dear Miss O ' Leary — I had to go to the tailor ' s at 3 :20, and for- got to tell you in advance. Yours in haste, James Reed. Miss O ' Leary — I should like to ask, Mr. Brown, how long it takes a tailor to reoair a boy, for Mr. Colquist tells me that James was on the athletic field at 3:45. Mr. Brown — It is evident that in this case, James had a pressing engagement. Where is Mr. Colquist? Miss O ' Leary — When I came in he was explaining the mural decorations to Mr. Arendt. Mr. Brown — Send him in, perhaps he would be willing to read Sartor Resartus with Jimmy. Library call on local phone. Mr. Brown — Yes, Miss Sylvester; all those new English books must be accessioned before being distributed to teachers. By the way, is Mr. Coulter there? He is? How long has that been going on? Tell him to come to the phone. Hello, Mr. Coulter! I want the sec- retary ' s report of the meetings of the English club. Can you get it for me right away ? Tell Miss Baldwin to send the deliberations of the Latin club, too. Have them brief, neat and suggestive. Enter student a few minutes later with reports of clubs. The following report of the deliberations of the English club are herewith submitted: Date Place Subject Remarks Dec. 15 Miss Woodrow ' s Shakespeare Written by Coulter Jan. 1? Miss Kaplan ' s Oversole or Nethersole Olga for me Jan. 28 High School Bernard Shaw ' s Profession Suppressed Feb. 14 Mr. Brown ' s Ulysses Kiver to kiver Feb. 28 Miss Strohm ' s Fussy Little Professor Miss Barns Mar. 14 Mr. Bush ' s Materlinck Lids off Mar. 28 Mr. Bush ' s Paper Napkins Nothing doing Apr. 18 Miss Woodrow ' s Master ' s Degree Heap much work May 4 Miss Marquardt ' s Hauptman Best ever Fourteen H. M. WOOD, Sec ' y