Joliet Junior College - Shield Yearbook (Joliet, IL)

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Mr. Graves — I wonder. Office gradually fills with teachers and students who line up, awaiting turns for interviews with Superintendent. Chicago tele- phone bell rings. Mr. Brown wanted. Hello! Yes. High School. They did. Sure it was high school boys? Turned on the faucet in your cellar and drowned your chick- ens? My advice? Why next time, buy ducks and let ' em swim. Good bye. As Mr. Brown turns from phone, Enter Student with all his books under his arm muttering some- thing that sounds like a chemical formula. What is the matter, Ki? The News is canned again. Canned? You ought to be caned. What are you up to now ? Didn ' t do a thing. Stopper came out of a bottle of carbon bis- ulphide in my pocket when I was studying in 55, and Mr. Stecker thought I did it. Mr. Brown— I ' ll give you to Miss Woodruff. Miss Woodruff — I don ' t want him. Mr. Brown — Perhaps 30 would be a good place for you. Go down and try it. Exit Fredericks, singing softly, ' I don ' t know where I ' m going, but I ' m on my way. Mr. Brown designates one and then another in the line and rap- idly disposes of several cases of petty larceny, assault and battery, malfeasance in office, malicious mischief, etc. — on the way to inner office, pauses at sound of familiar voice across the room : Miss Marquardt, beaming on her neighbor : I ' m proud of my room, 32, And glad as I can be They put the digits that way round, And not the other. See? Mr. Sears — replying: You ought to be, it seems to me, Removed from melancholy, With acrobats to cheer you up, Like Sehring and young Scully. Mr. Brown, turning — Here, how long has this been going on? Chorus — (Misses O ' Brien, Pollock, Shipman, Sammons, et al.) — About long enough. Mr. Brown, to tall man, who has almost outgrown his hair, Come in, Mr. Spicer. They enter inner office; Mr. Spicer ' s voice is heard saying: It is the finest place for a summer resort — door closes. Mr. Large looks over the mail for his weather map ; then makes Twelve

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Before the Bell Time— This Morning, Eight O ' clock. Place — Outer Office, High School Building. Girl— Stenographer, at typewriter, working on outlines for Botany. Enter Miss Van der Veen— Good morning. Mr. Brown in? Those post grads never report in my room during their free periods and if they do not conform to the regulations - - (goes into inner office, whence she emerges in a few minutes, apparently satisfied.) Enter Mr. Hawkins with an armful of pictures and cards. — 1 have here some data from the gymnasium class which show that all members gained one inch in height, ten pounds in weight and forty per cent in gray matter. Miss Cheeseman (after carefu l scrutiny)— Isn ' t that fine. Why don ' t you try it on yourself Mr. Hawkins? Enter Miss Mack who inspects the pictures and asks innocently, Does gym work make the clothes grow too? These first pictures show the students in decollette and the last in civilian clothes. Mr. Hawkins — 0, no; that merely shows, ah, that the increase, ah, in avoirdupois is due, ah, to natural causes. Not being in the sci- ence department, you may not understand — (avoids further expla- nations by passing into the inner office.) Enter Mr. Clute with a rush. — Got those outlines finished on the Flora and Fauna of Lockport? Miss Cheeseman — Not yet. I made a little mistake here, where I left out part of the third paragraph and the two succeeding ones, but I ' ll put them in at the end. (Applies varnish brush vigorously to obliterate Rooseveltian spelling while Mr. Clute is heard going up stairs, four steps at a time.) Aren ' t the men the limit? Enter Miss Woodruff — I want to see Mr. Brown immediately about those post grads. One of them tore the fly leaf out of the dic- tionary because he wanted paper for his note book. (Goes inside.) Enter Mr. Graves — ' (After a careful inspection of the table) — Any mail for me? Miss Cheeseman — Yes. A letter from Springfield, a paper and a lovely souvenir post card. Mr. Graves — Well, where are they? Miss Cheeseman — 0, here they are, back of my machine. How did they get there? Eleven

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inquiry of Mr. Barker, who has not seen it, and does not seem to worry about its loss. Mr. Large How can you teach physiography students to fortell the weather without the map? Mr. Barker— O, my students have all read Goldsmith, and they can ' foresee the day ' s disasters in the morning face. ' ' Mr. Potter— Possibly that explains the laughter I hear coming from Barker ' s laboratory occasionally. Mr. Barker — What do you mean? Mr. Potter Full well they laugh with counterfeited glee, At all his jokes, and many a joke has he. Miss McClenahan— Now what are they all laughing about? We have the most peculiar lot of men on this faculty that I ever saw. They stand around and talk and laugh, but when they tell me, I never see any joke. Mr. Durstine— Haw! Haw! Haw! That ' s just like my boy. Why, he never — Mr. Martin, butting in— Mr. Durstine, what ' s the difference between the Faculty council and the Greek one, held at Delphi? Mr. Durstine— That one was Amphictyonic and this one am fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils. Haw! Haw! Haw! Miss McClenahan — Now, I wonder if that is considered a joke. Mr. Martin— Wrong answer, the ancients remembered the state, while the moderns re-member the classes. Mr. Barker — I expected him to say that they tossed the discus while we discuss the tossers of basket ball, base ball, etc. Mr. Durstine What he had in mind was the antithesis between anci ent feats of strength and modern strength of f Mr. Smith — You are excused. Miss McClenahan— Ha! Ha! Ha! Miss Johnson to Miss McC— Why do you lawf at a statement like that? Miss McClenahan— 0, I was not laughing at that; I just saw the point to Mr. Martin ' s joke. Mr. Martin takes refuge in the Daily Maroon, from which he looks up as Mr. Brown and Mr. Spicer appear. Mr. Brown — Here, how does an English teacher come to be reading a modern newspaper? You ought to be perusing Bill Cax- ton ' s first edition. Mr. Martin, from depth of paper — I see that President Roose- velt has declined to make the Fourth of July speech at the Jamestown Exposition. Mr. Spicer — Couldn ' t the public speaking department of the Thirteen