Johnstown High School - Beacon Yearbook (Johnstown, OH)

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Oh? Well thank you very much, and next we have four charming young ladies, will you tell our listeners your names? Bonnie Davis, Diane Davis, Edna Davis and Kathleen Davis, but we're not related. I see. What do you do for a living? We manage the Davis Modeling Agencyon the Moon and hope to set up another office on Pluto. Well I see that there aren't anymore passengers coming aboard we must be ready to blast off now. flnside the spaceshipj. Now that we're on our way we'll interview the captain and crew. Oh, Captainl Would you tell the people your name and why you wanted to pilot this second ship to Pluto. I'm David Noble and I first became interested in space flying when I saw the paper airplanes flying across the room in out physics class. The first stewardess we come to is spilling strained algae juice down one of the passenger's vest. What is your name, Miss? Betty Gleason. Why did you want to make this trip? I like the wide open spaces. Will you tell us your names please? Marie Mauldin and Mary Miles. What are your jobs on this trip? We make the passengers as uncomfortable as we can by putting thumbtacks on their chairs so they won't have a du1l trip. Here come our chief thumbtackers, Roger Priest and Danny Swick. They took the job because they are sharp as tacks and twice as dull. Now we'll introduce you to the pilot and co-pilot, Charles Cook and Bill Conard. What institution did you boys get your pilot licences from? We bought ours at Sears and Roebuck for fifty cents apiece. Let's interview our mechancis on this trip, your names, Gentlemen? Larry L. Smith, John Kirby and Fred Johnson. What were your previous references before you ventured on this space ship? We specialized in motor scooters and cars. Last but not least of the crew is the cook, Anne Hatch, and the dishwasher, Gary Chambers. Anne, what do you consider your specialty? Food poisoning. And why did you take up the art of dishwashing? I finally run out of diapers so I started wash- ing dishes. We are going to land now. I see a small welcoming committee waiting to greet us. They must be here from the last trip. Let's interview a few of them. What is your name? Larry D. Smith. I-Iow did you get here, Mr. Smith? I flew and are my arms tired! Why are you here, Miss? I came to hunt a robot for a baby sitter for my I2 children. Your name please? Barbara Walker. Ladies and Gentlemen we are now approaching one of Larry Dorsey's fabulous space theaters, now showing Earth of I956 , starring Pauline Ashbrook as Miss United Planets and Wilbur Buxton as Tarzan of the Tangled Jungle. Next we see a huge drug store owned by Velma Myers. Let's go inside. What is your name and what are you doing, Miss? Joann Houck and I'm eating a Milky Way. Will you tell us your name, Sir? Richard Piper, and I'm eating a candy bar from Mars. There is a huge billboard with a girl that looks like Janet Jones modeling the latest Bikini from Earth. Who are those red hot space cadets over there? Will you tell us your names please? Ray Piper, Bob Hatten, and Dick DeNune. What are you fellows looking at? Janice Seville's new non-smear toenail polish for the eyebrows. There are the greatest partners in the space history, Dr. Betty Miller, who's motto is, If there's not much chance let them die. Also our cheery undertaker, Miss Donna Hopkins, who's slogan is, Use my handy float-away plan with a special price on float- away coffins. Ladies and Gentlemen, this concludes our space show for this year. Tune in next year for our first journey to the Sun. Thank you and good day from every unknown station.

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I, Velma Myers, will my ability to get out of Mr. Derr's typing class five minutes early to Shirley Walker. I, Dave Noble, will my good job as President of the Senior Class to anyone lucky enough, namely Dave Adams. I, Raymond Piper, will my blue eyes to Donna Bishop. I, Richard Piper, will my notes from secret admirers which I find in my locker to Bill Severn. I, Marsha Pitt, will my lone wo1f position in Algebra Class to Bob Eberhard, and my NEARLY always correct answers to Mr. Dingledy. I, Esther Priest, will my ability to have the cars in which I'm riding break down at the right times to John Thompson. I, Janice Seville, will my ability to have dates on school nights and still get my assignments done to Barbara Teeters. I, Larry D, Smith, will my ability to get along with certain people from Croton and to'spend most of my time there to Rachel Quick. I, Danny Swick, will my ability to keep out of trouble to Larry Evans. I, Lela Van Fossen, will my ability to talk in gym class and not get caught by Miss Hoffman to Evelyn Mowery. I, Roger Priest, will all my speed and thinking ability to Charles Weeks. I, Barbara Walker, will my nickname Didies to Ruby Forest. All aboard! All aboard! Spaceship X,Y, Z, A-Civilization is ready to blast off for Pluto at exactly 0700 hours. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your happy News Reporter, Joe Almendinger, reporting on this second trip into space. I am going to interview a few of the passengers on 'this second space trip to Pluto. The first lady is coming up the ramp now. What is your name, Madam? Esther Priest. What is your occupation? I am a knife thrower for the fabulous Johnny Goldsberry Half Ring Circus for Zero I.Q. people. A man is coming up the ramp, what is your name, Sir? Paul Priest. And what is your occupation? I model midget suits for men over six feet. And what is your name, Madam? Marsha Pitt. And your occupation? I manu- facture Hot Dogs for Cold Feet. Hal Hal And what is your name, Sir? Dick Dague. And your occupation? I handle John Keen's A-I condition 1810 cars. Will you tell us your name, Miss? Nancy Cooper. And your occupation? I'm a stand-in for Liberace. f And who are these gentlemen? We are John Berkley, Leland Jakeway, Marvin Montgomery and David Conway, otherwise known as the Hold Your Nose Quartette. I certainly hope those fellows don't sing on Pluto, they would probably ruin our relationship. The next girls look like twins, and your names, please? Le1a Van- Fossen and Virginia Kincaid. May I ask why you pretty girls want to go to Pluto? We are mad scientists and we hope to bring back some unimportant information that will be of great interest to the world. 6

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