Johnstown High School - Beacon Yearbook (Johnstown, OH)

Page 22 text:

I, Leland Hubbell, will my ukelele to Jo Ann Piper and my ability in Government class to Richard Lewis, who will need it. I, Lester Hulse, will my ability to get along with people to Lewis Houck. I, Tom L. Johnson, will my rakish Ford to Bill Almendinger also my class in the basement to anyone who can get along with the Janitors. A I, Harry Kincaid, will my ability to get out of football games, with broken ribs, to Johnny Johnson, but I will keep Patty for myself. I, Doyle Melick, will my football ability and jersey No. 13 to Ray Belt and I am keeping Ella Ruth for myself. I, Harold Myers, will my ability in school to Bill Lynch. I, Eddie 0'Bryan, will my high singing ability to Richard Montgomery and my artistic work to Raymond Larch. I, Robert Pitt, will my ability to like school in sphx of grades to Bob Logan. . I, Norman Priest, will my shortness to Saundra Evans or Freddy Moore. I, Harold Romine, will my ability to get mixed in lover's quarrels to any boy in the junior class. I, David Skeens, will my vocabulary to Gerald Boner, but wouldn't wish my spelling on anyone. I, Jack Swick, will'my ability to go to Alexandria with one girl to Bill Fohl and Ronald Smith. I, Hnnroe Wright, will my willed name nlulun to John Johnson, and am keeping Marianne for myself. Signed, sealed, and witnessed this 9th day of May in the year nineteen hundred and fifty-two. WITNESSES: The Three Musketeers, CJohn, Tom, and Bob! Q'1as-5 Drophecg The date is May 9th, 1977 and gathering here on the picnic ground of the observation center on the planet, Earth, we have the 1952 grad- uating class of Johnstown-Monroe High School. They have returned for this reunion from every known or unknown planet in space. First we see NormanKPos-yrrlest, center and captain of the great- est pro-basketball team of the universe, the Space Pacers. And chat- ting with Norm is Mary Jo Middleton, renowned opera singer, who has just returned from a recital tour of Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Cwe understandvthat she cracked the glass dome of the Opera House on MarsJ Approaching us now is Harold Myers, president and owner of the M. M. M. KMad Money Maker! Co., Inc. With him is his private secretary, Joan Downing. This company operates solely for the purpose of making money for high school graduating classes. And there are Robert Cavendish, who now resides on the 3rd ring of Saturn, and Leland Hubbell, Nobel Prize Winner in the Field of Sci- ence. They seem to be talking over their latest inventions and dis- coveries. Bob has just discovered a nMiracle Capsuleu, which prevents middle-age spread. KFrom this angle it looks like Bob should try his own capsulel, and Leland recently invented an electro-magnet, which not only removes dandruff from bald-headed gents, but will also give an illustrous shine. Speaking of bald-headed ,gents, here comes Jack CDurocherJ Swick, famous manager of the Mercurian Comets, baseball champions of the universe. With Jack we see another outstanding spomm figure. Joe Hopkins, former boxing champion, is now promoting boxing in Sophonia Greely's Home for the Aged.

Page 21 text:

Glass 1Di11 We, the following members of the outstanding Senior Clasa of 1952, being of sound mind and spirit and purely of the kind of class that was behind the door when they passed out the brains, do leave this last will and testament in the lower left hand drawer, Heretofore, as of now, and in the accordance with the law laid down Dy past graduates of Johnstown High School: I, Patricia Adams, will my ability to be surer than any girl in school. But will Any girl who needs this ability may take it I, Beverly Bauchert,w1ll my ability to go steady longer and keep Bob for myself. at random. recite in Government class to Ruth Weaver. I, Liz Dietrich, will my ability to get into trouble to Kate McCann. Mary Dietzel, Will my ability to skip school without Piper. I will keep Albert for myself. I. getting I, caught to Carol Lafferty, and will keep Jack for myself. Joan Downing, will my ability to get caught with the car where it is not supposed to be to Jo Ann Piper. June Forest, will my excess height to Hazel Bisang I and my,freckles to Marilyn Samsel. I, Ann Freeman, will the hope in my hope chest to Shirley Bodkins. Dorothy Hopkins, will my height to Sandy Evans and I blondelhair to Miss Chokreff. I, Marianne Kasson, will my ability to always have a boyfriend to Carolyn Adams and will keep Monroe to myself. I, Alice Locker, will my ability to miss school one or two days a week with Albert Grove to Larry Dietrich and Jo Ann I, Mary Lou McCullough, will my ability to carry six subjects with A's and B's to Nancy Logan. I, Mary Jo Middleton, will my ability to go steady after being here only one and one-half months and being engaged after three months to any Junior girl who thinks she is capable of doing same. Also a book on how to hold your man. I, Dorothy Neibarger, will my laugh and ability in Home Economics to Anna Jean Green. I, Mary Jo Orndorff, will my ability to have perfect attendance for four years to anyone who thinks he is capable. Also the ability to write letters in classes to Doris Fickel. I, Anita Patton, will the wide open spaces between my teeth to Logean Matney. And my ability to argue with Miss Smoots to Barbara Carley. I, Shirley Smith, will my ability to hit all telephone poles that are in the I, Carolyn Weeks, road to Doris Fickel. will my ability to go with boys who have nice cars, and let me drive them, to Barbara Carley. I, Dale Ashbrook, Smith. I, Lee Ashbrook, And all of my women to I, Robert Bernard Mrs. Franklin. Johnny Forest. Cavendish, will a will my attempts to skip school to Ronald will my laziness to bashful Billy FohL quart of Blood to I, Ed Dietrich, will my lovelife to Larry Dietrich. I, Jonn Elbon, will my 'crazy legs' to Jim Piper year's basketball team, and my nickname 'Tex' to Clark. I, Albert Grove, will my ability to go steady with for next Roderick one girl for a year to Freddy Moore. I, Howard Hopkins, will my speed to next year's football team. I, Joe Hopkins, will my ability to pound Jerry Hartman on the leg during the basketball tournament to anyone who thinks he can get away with it again. Also my blonde hair to Ronnie Amrlne. I7

Page 23 text:

Looking out into space we see the J. A. A. and M. Sky Rocket. As it lands June Forest, Ann Freeman, Anita Patton and Mary Dletzel, lst, 2nd, 3rd, and hth vice presidents of the nwhereditgon Finance Company, alite. This company makes loans to ex-husbands for alimony payments. Moving on we find two former classmates, who are discussing the present-day food situation. They are Dorothy Neibarger, a noted di- etician, whose slogan is uThe way to a man's heart is by dietingu, and Mary Alice Locker, a well-known Home Economics instructor, who is now teaching her students how to keep the holes in donuts from looking so empty. From across the grounds we hear the season's latest hit nWhen the Sun Shines, There's NotFog In My Eyes, But Youn, written by that un- canny composer, Eddie O'Bryan, from Tin Pan Alley. And there is Eddie himself conversing with two of the foremost authors of the present day--Carolyn Weeks, whose latest publication is HA Friend of the Familyu, highly recommended as advice to the lovelorn, and Mary Jo Orndorff, who has written the most recent best seller, nHow to Chew More And Bigger Wads of Gumu. This book is a scientific treatise which required four years in the writing. Cruising in now, we spy the special, elite, deluxe, air cruiser, designed, patented, and piloted by Lee Ashbrook. Its owner is none other than Madam Mary Elizabeth Dietrich, foremest designer of dogs' clothing. She announces that she will enter the field of designing for men's and women's clothing at the next sun-length and predists dmt her styles will set the pace for all. And over ln the corner all by himself is Robert xl am and forever shall be a bachelorJPitt. He is living in his dark and dismal mansion on the most distant satalite of Pluto. And coming over to try to make conversation with Bob is Beverly Bauchert. Bev, as you recall, has that ngift of gabn and has become known to us as the second Luella Parsons. Still on the subject of gabby people,this group here looks like-- why, yes, it is nThe Windy Liars Club.n And it sounds like they're in session right now. There's the President,Dav1d Skeens talking to Miss Mary Lou McCullough, last year's prize winner for telling the biggest whopper. With them is John Elbon, past president of the club and pre- sent interplanet president of the club. This club, as we understand it, has the largest membership of al existing clubs in the interplanet scope. And there is Doyle Melick. He now lives in a trailer on the new planet, Ausphelia, which he recently discovered. His new trailer home is robot controlled and he travels from one planet to another by push- ing a button. Doyle is talking with Dorothy Hopkins and her brother, Howard Hopkins. Dorothy is a talented designer, who is best-known for her 'Swoop-the-Droopnnecklines, and uswitch-the-Hitchn skirts. Howard ls the president of the Interplanatary HI Get My Crops In Firstn Society. OUCHI What hit me? Oh, now I know. Tom L. Johnson on the loose again and at his age, playing with spit-ball guns. And right there with him is Harold Romine, the inventor of the spit-ball gun and also the burp gun. Incidentally, Tom is a noted surgeon at the Radie Bom Sanitarium on duck Creek at Sunny Slope. Over here on the left is Monroe Wright, owner of the Speedway Run and talking to him is Eddie Dietrich, who just yesterday set the new record for an auto speed, when he went down the Run at 1200 miles an hour. You know how Eddie used to make everyone eat his dust back there in his high school days. Well, it seems like he's still doing it. Buzzing in now we see Dale Ashbrook in his supersonic racer....He is returning from taking Harry KEinsteinJ Kincaid on a scientific ex- pedition into outer space, I7