Johnson St Paris High School - Parisian Yearbook (Saint Paris, OH)

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THE LATEST 23rd PSALM Mr. Turner is my teacher. I shall not pass. He maketh me to work hard experiments. He tormenteth me with questions in the presence of my classmates. He bawleth me out com- pletely. He maketh me to tear my hair in agony. My mind conceiveth murder. My test tube runneth over. He bawleth me out again. Surely misery and horror shall follow me forever and I shall dwell in the Lab. for- ever and ever. Amen. We often wonder why:— Cliff (over phone) “Elma, can I have a date tonight?” Elma—“Yes ! Who is it?” How Miss Gordon labored with her Senior English class and then:— He has went He has gone He has left I all alone. He can never go to 1 I can never come to he Oh ! It cannot was. “Doc” doesn’t wear a collar? “Yock” sleeps during study periods? “Warren” leaves the room at 11:15? “Pency” studies so hard; “Bob’s” never on time in the mornings? Miss Gordon picks on Ted? “Babe” blushes so hal’d? “Cicero” ever delivered those deep orations? Elma was so particular about her Senior picture ? Charles Houser doesn’t want the Normal picture in the Annual? I can’t blame him, can you; “Jane” doesn’t bring one of the Monthly Annuals to school? Sample sayings:— Beaver—“Harry Sprague stuck me in the Agriculture class.” Nelle—“Mr. Loudenback, how many sheep in a flock of sheep?” Ted (To a taxi driver at Delaware) “What is the number of sixty-six?” DELAY OF MAIL Klappy says the night the Basketball team went to Bradford and stayed over night in Piqua that he wrote a letter to someone in St. Paris and was amazed to find that she had not received it the next morning when he ar- rived home. Miss Nixon—(In auditorium during prac- tics for carnival) Frank, be quiet will you? We came down here to be married, not to cut up. Jane—“Sweet Mamma’s” back there in Nelle’s desk.” At that marriage should be safer in the fu- ture for “what does the modern girl know about rolling pins?” Oh ! Gee—“I can’t find my bathing suit any- where.” Whiz—“Maybe, you have it on.” “Whence the black eye, old thing?” “Oh, I went to a dance and I was struck by the beauty of the place.” Doctor—“Did that medicine straighten your husband out all right?” Wife—(Joyfully) “Yes ! We buried him yesterday !” Teacher—“Will you be quiet for a bit?” Pupil—“I’ll do it for two bits. 71

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JOKES The joke that’s exclusive Is somewhat elusive A difficult thing to produce, I seek for it madly Then, give it up sadly And sigh, “What’s the use? What’s the use?” Pat—“Let’s eat.” Babe—“Where?” Pat—“Let’s eat up the street.” Babe—“No, thank you. I don’t care for asphalt !”—Exchange. “Her breath is as a breeze from off the fields in Spring.” “Yes—Onion fields.” Prof. Turner’s theory— We graduate those we can, and those we can’t, we can. The hours I spent with thee Dear Math, Are as a string of flunks to me. I “cuss” them every one apart, My Algebra, My Algebra. With Apologies to “My Rosary.” “I lost my love in Avalon” sang Charles, “Try our Lost and Found Ads in the Parisian” suggested Klappy. Miss Gordon In English, “Why do we study English Literature?” Ethel, “So we can know men better.” “Breathes there a man with soul so dead. Who never to himself has said, As he stubbed his toe against the bed ! ! ? ? D-----, etc. To school—To high school, She came with a rush, So sweet and demure that she Knew how to blush. Her blushes have faded:— But she doesn’t care, For her artistic touch Keeps the roses still there ! “Nobody loves a fat man.” Is not true at all I know of one who loves him,— A cannibal. PRACTICAL PRUNES They had been sitting in the movies For two long hours; And it was nearly time for the final clinch. And yet he had not once Tried to Hold her hand. And so it was she who had to Let her hand slip over To where it belonged, Which puzzled him Perplexedly For quite a while. But at last he saw it all And then he took her hand in his and deftly Wound her wrist-watch ! Fond Mother (To Music Teacher)—Do you detect any musical ability in my daughter? The Teacher—I am not a detective. Oh, grandma wore her hair up high. Her shell like ears she liked to show, But her ankles she hid with dresses low, Lest men should think her bold. Oh, Agnes wears her skirts up high, Her dimpled knee she’s proud to show, But she hides her ears with hair worn low, Lest men should call her bold ! Lucy in Lab.—“How much does a hundred grains weigh?” An ad.—“Dead men tell no tales; Use Sloan’s liniment !” Bob-—-Milton was very Puritanical in his views. Miss Gordon—Bring that out please, Robert Bob—He was VERY Puritanical in his views. Mr. Turner—“What are you getting out of your Art Course?” Adol—“Pencils.” 70

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BtRiSiAN lillilllllllllllllilliillllillllllll The Parisian Staff of 1921 wish to express their appreciation of the hearty support given them by the advertisers in this number. jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiPiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 72