John Marshall Law School - Abstract Yearbook (Chicago, IL)

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£ast ill and Testament (Or Strange Interlude in the SubConscious Mind of a Senior Class). We, the Senior Class of this the most Honor- able John Marshall Law School being of sound mind and disposing memory (Conclusive pre- sumption, having passed 111. Govt, and the like), and realizing the uncertainty of this frail and transitory existence (and of ever getting out of this hole!) and desiring to make disposition of our worldly possessions (after paying tui- tion?) do make, ordain, publish, and declare (Whew!) this to be our last will and testament (Mr. Hayes, what have we omitted?). 1. We hereby direct that Ed Lee, Jr., as administrator of our estate tear up, destroy, convert and dissolve all our just (?) debts and pay our funeral bills as soon as possible after our decease (who wouldn ' t pass out, when he gets a diploma from this place) . 2. We hereby give, devise and bequeath: to the lucky hombres who will get corralled into Wilkie C. (for cowboy) Ham ' s evidence courses: 1 pair of hip hoots; 2 six shooters; one plug of tobaccy and a Yippee-e- . 3. To the unsuspecting wretches who re- main alive after Illinois Government : a Palm Beach suit and a fan. 4. To the future class in real property: the most damnable conglomeration of mental cal- isthenics and ballistic tests that any bunch of stooges ever used a pony on. f. To the poor prisoners who are in line for the loving and caressing Max Liss and his delightful Landlord and Tenant: Fifty (fO) pages a Night! (Your Own briefs!) 6. To the undeserving parasites who will be privileged to sit in on Reuben (What a Lover) Freedman ' s nightly shows: 1,000 laughs and a new appreciation of humor. 7. To the Common Law Pleaders: a Latin dictionary and two aspirin tablets. 8. To the Cocky young brutes who will swagger into future interests secure in the knowledge that they are nearing the big day: a copy of Laugh, Clown, Laugh , a good job in South America and plenty of firewater to help them forget. We give, devise and bequeath to all those pink cheeked illusioned young things known as Freshmen: All the rest, residue, and remain- der of our estate namely, four years of Pur- gatory (some dare to call it lower) which strangely enough they will regret leaving after all the burning and roasting are over. Witness whereof our hand and seal on this graduation day, in the year of Our Lord, Nineteen Hundred Thirty-seven, A. D. THE SENIOR CLASS Page Ninety-six

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M lawyer J broad - fk In January of 1937 while on a Meditteranean tour I visited Syria and Lebanon which had, the Sep- tember before, signed a treaty with France by which they were to be granted independence in 1939. Syria was before the great war under Turkish rule. After the war France was selected as Mandator) ' and a Syrian Mandate was declared by the Council of the League of Nations. The people of Syria were poor but happy under Turkish rule. Under French rule they have been more progressive and as a result, they have encountered the problems of taxation, new customs and governmental policies. The political and social life of the Middle East has for centuries been unstable and inse- cure. The Easterner is a good thinker and phil- osopher but in contrast to the inhabitants of the upper European countries, he is a dreamer and indifferent to system and systematic progress However, the Syrians have been able to assi- milate the teachings of others and under the guidance of France many of them have been found adaptable, and capable of successfully participating in the responsibilities of govern- ment. Today Syria presents an example of a well-mannered, educated, industrious people, well on its way to being a successful independ- ent State. It is natural that on a visit to any foreign land, the attention of a lawyer should be at- tracted not only to political and social condi- tions but also, and especially, to the courts of justice and their procedure. My observation was limited to the court of Beyrouth, one of the capitals and a seat of the high courts. The palatial court building is a two stor ' stone oval structure with huge arches leading into an in- ner rectangular courtyard. Entrance may be had to the surrounding chambers through the spacious openings between large columns. Some of these chambers are used as courtrooms and some as Judges chambers. At least one window in each courtroom opens on the courtyard and is equipped with a. shutter but is not glazed. The Clerk, or Secretary, has his desk on the same level as the Judge ' s bench but his seat is some distance away and next to the window. Witnesses are summoned by the Clerk or his assistants calling through the win- dow into the court ' ard which provides a con- venient waiting place for the participants. At a desk in the corridor sits a man who is well versed in languages, his duty is to help the ig- norant who cannot read or write and who have no lawyers. A George N. Cardozo Class of Feb. 1936 Judges and lawyers wear dignified black robes of the same kind. The lawyers are not as active in the con- duct of the trial as they are in the United States : the participants are questioned directly by the Judge. They are allowed to say anything pertinent that they wish without in- terruption. The Lawyers remain in the background, their main function 13 the drawing of pleadings. After testimony is taken and the judge has made a finding, the participant is asked to swear to the truth of his testimony upon the Bible represent- ing the faith he fo ' Iows. There is no hurrying in the conduct of the trial; participants are given plenty of time to talk and there is an air of genuine fairness in the adjusting of dis- putes. I was introduced to the President of the Court of Appeals, which is composed of three judges. We met in his chambers and, by means of an interpreter, v ' e exchanged views. He is a very intelligent man about forty-five years of age, speaks French and Syrian fluently. After we had some delicious Turkish coffee he per- sonally conducted us through the building, a most gracious host. He invited me to be pres- ent the next day at a criminal trial, which was to take place in his courtroom. The trial proved to be very interesting. In Syria any young man who is to be married tells his parents of his intention. If he selects the girl himself his parents consult the parents of the girl and negotiate the wedding; if he does not choose his own bride his parents choose for him. The young lady is frequently not con- sulted. And so it came about that a young mountaineer had selected his bride to be, but she was in love with another. The lover and the prospective husband met, argued, fought, knives vere drawn and both were seriously wounded. The lover died and the prospective husband was now the defendant in a murder trial. There was testimony that the murdered man drew his knife and that the defendant was obliged to do the same in self-defense. The young man was freed and, I suppose, went back to his mountains, pleased at the change that justice and circumstance had wrought in his life. I was impressed by the competency and hard work of the judges and the dignified conduct of counsel. My stay in the country was short and I did not have time to inquire into the mat- ter of fees, retainers, and the financial position of prospective litigants, therefore I cannot ad- vise any of my fellow alumni regarding possi- bilities in practice in Syria. Page Ninety-five

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HUMOR Office Manager: Before we can engage you, you will have to take an intelligence test. Girl Applicant: Intelligence test? Why, the ad said you want- ed a stenographer. Rastus was before the judge, charged with stealing chickens. Judge: Well are you guilty, or not guilty? Rastus: I ' se not guilty and Ah waives a hearin . Judge: What do you mean, you waive the hearing? Rastus: I don ' t want to hear nothin mo ' about it. Foresighted Witness Counsel: (cross-examining wit- ness) You stated that you were standing nearby when the shot was fired. Now, jurt how near were you? Witness: Twenty-four feet and seven inches. Counsel: Ah, how do you know exactly to the inch ? Witness: Well, I thought some smart lawyer might ask me, and I got a foot rule and measured it. My ancestors came over in the Mayflower, Lucky for you they did. The immigration laws are stricter now. Last Known Address Sheriff (to deputy): If yuu can- not serve Jones personally, you simply mail the summons to him at his last known address. Deputy: That ' s what I did. I mailed it to him in care of the ce- metery where he was buried last week. Prof. Harbert: Give an example of an Estate on Special Limitation. Berdine (Feb., ' 39): To A, as long as he shall be a student in the John Marshall Law School. Spencer (Feb., ' 39): Sounds like a Life Estate to me. BELIEVE IT OR NOT (EXCERPTS FROM EX.AMS) ' Cooling time ' is the period which elapses between the time A calls B a liar, and the time B hits A. At common law, a husband and wife were one and the same per- son. But this has been remedied by statute. • A defendant may be held by an indictment or an information. He may be held without either un- til Habeas Corpus proceedings are brought against the prosecutor. Question — Define embezzle- ment. Answer — Embezzlement is the appropriation by one to his own use of property of his employer which he was employed to appro- priate. Examiner ' s note — Are you try- ing to define embezzlement or to describe a political office holder? ' ' A criminal attempt is an illegal crime. • And it ' s a good reason — Personal actions die with the person. Plaintiff recovers nothing because he is dead. Question — In homicide cases, what is meant by ' cooling time ' .- ' Mr. A ' s answer — It is when a man who is laboring under a strong passion or emotion takes time out to decide what to do. Mr. B ' s answer — It is the time between the ending of one heat and the beginning of another. Question — In libel or slander, is the truth a defense? Answer No. 1 — Not at all, un- less coupled with a beneficial in- terest and good faith. Answer No. 2 — .At common law, the greater the truth, the greater the liability. .Answer No. 3 — In Illinois, ma- lice in the truth is no defense. .■Xnswer No. 4 — No defense — the greater the truth the bigger the lie. A traffic officer whose red lights were not functioning held up his hand for motorists to halt. One la- dy driver disregarded his signal and went through. The officer chased and stopped her. Don ' t you know. he growled, what I mean when I hold up my hand? I ought to. was the devastat- ing retort, I ' ve been a school teacher for nearly twenty years. His Benefactor Doctor, said Abie, I want to thank you for your great patent medicine. It helped you, did it? asked the doctor, rubbing his hands with satisfaction. It helped me wonderfully. How many bottles did you find it necessary to take? Oh, I didn ' t take any of it. My uncle took one bottle, and I am his sole heir. Patient (recovering from opera- tion): Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor? Doc: Well, there ' s a fire across the alley, and I didn ' t want you to wake up and think the operation had been a failure. Why Satan Laffed It seems the gate broke down between Heaven and Hell. St. Pe- ter appeared at the broken part of the gate and called out to the de- vil, Hey, Satan. It ' s your chance to hx It this time. Sorry, replied the boss of the land, beyond the Styx. My men are too busy to worry about fixing a mere gate. Well then, scowled St. Peter, I ' ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement. Oh, yeah, yeah ' d the devil, where are you going to get a lawyer? Page Ninety-seven