John Gorrie Junior High School - Siren Yearbook (Jacksonville, FL)

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Burglar Qhaving climbed to porch roofj: Another guy sleeping with his window shutl I got .1 111ind to write de board of health about itl Science has invented an earthquake announcer tl1at goes oif like an alarm clock. Now if science would invent .1n alarm clock that goes off like an alarm clock, n1ore of us would get to school on tin1e. Let me see. now, said tl1e minister at tl1e christen- ing, dipping his pen into tl1e ink to record the event, isn't tl1is the seventeenth? I should say not! exclaimed the childs mother. Its only tl1e ninth. Lord of the Castle: Away, varletg I am riding to hounds. Tramp: That's all right: I'm going to the dogs myself. Mike: XY!hat shall I do for water on the knee? Ike: Wear pumps. jones: Did you enjoy your walk in the country? Bones: No: we had to walk almost the whole way. Bulldog: Did I hear you order me out of the yard? Pup: Yes-s-s. But I canceled the order. Pop, what is an advertisement? An advertisement, son, is tl1e picture of a pretty girl eating, drinking, wearing, holding or driving something somebody wishes to sell. Bill: Wl1o won the race to the fence, you or the bull? Pete: It was a toss-up. Hows the new radio? It's a howling success, He: Do you know tl1e difference between .1 taxi and a street car? She: MNC. He: Then we'll take a street car. Iceland, said tl1e teacher, is about as big as Siam. Iceland, wrote tl1e student afterward, about as big as Teacher. How are you getting along with 'rithmetic, Sam? Well, I done learned to add up tl1e noughts, but tl1e hggers still bother me. Why so downcast? I bought this shoe polish with my last dime and it says, 'Insert coin under cover edge to openf Do you ki1ow Art? Art who? Artesianf' Sure, I know Artesian well. I-low are all the little pigs down on tl1e farm? lime, .1nd l1ow are all your pledges? Room: How do you spell financially ? Mate: If-I-N-A-N-C-I-A-L-L-Y and embarrased has two Rs' judge: We're you ever arrested beforen? Tough: Now listen, -ludge, do I look like a bud just makin' me daboom? I-Iaye .1 chocolate? No, thanks, lVILIlILlfIIILI Ghandi this morning. Colored Parson: hor de benefit of tl1ose contri- butin' cough drops de mini'-ter's cold am cured. They laughed as I walked to tl1e piano but their laugl1ter turned to amazement when I picked it up and threw it at tl1en1 for I l1ad not been taking Strongforts muscle building lessons for nothing, Wedding guest: This is your fourth daughter to get married, isn't it? Mac Light: Aye, and our confetti's gettin' awful gritty. Angry parent: What time did you get in last night? Nightcap Daughter: It was early, Pop. just plenty after 12:00. Teacher: This examination will be conducted on the honor system. Please take seats three apart and in alternate rows. A young lawyer, pleading his first case, had been re- tained by a farmer to prosecute a railway company for kill- ing twenty-four hogs. He wanted to impress the jury with the magnitude of the injury. Twenty-four hogs, gentlemen, twenty-four hogs: twice the number in the jury box. Lady Customer: Could I try on that dress in the show window? New Clerk: Sorry, lady, but you will have to use the dressing room.

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ltiiig lint tin PHP PUBUSHED BY SNOOPS AND PEEPS CLUB OF HOT-CHA-CHA CHUNIOR HIGH Volume Loud WHO'S WHO IN Scions of prominent Families uninasked. Due to political pull Sheriff refuses to act. The 'tlce Box Crusader-sl' met in the deep purple shadows of the Baptist Church graveyard and to the tune of Dance de Macabre they went into a huddle and elected the following royal racketeers: Chief Kitchen Capone-Tom Ulmer. Prince Smeller of Eats-Tom Adams. King Excuse-Billy Wild. Paramount Cake Taster-Mark Lil- lard. Mother Milk Measurei-John Pace. Colonel of the Guards-Dick Pacetti. Of all the noble and novel rackets in the land, the Crushaders take the cake . Of all the ginger ale guzzling, biscuit munching, candy crunchers Jacksonville, Florida RACKETEERING? known to cannabalism, the Crusaders rate! Armed to the teeth with secrecy and slimy diplomacy, they prepare the way for their insuiferable vandalism by first gaining the sympathy of their in- tended victims. Scarcely a family in Riverside has been spared the on- slaughts of their brutish appetites. Scarcely a cook knows whether she will Find breakfast in the ice box. Cookies! have grown as scarce as shirttails on microbes. Girls shudder. Mothers fuss. Dids cuss. Little brothers tear their hair in rage. But eventually from the chaos, parents will arise in righteous indignation against the numberless cake- eater l'l01'tlES and with banners stream-' ing and carrying thc slogan Food for thought they will bp- assured of a glorious victory! ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCED Miss Belsford announces that during the evening of July the Fourth she has a very special engagement and positively will not be at home to any chair warmers except the one with whom she has an engagement. S O C I E T Y CURB WARMING Miss Cashen Honors P.L.E 's 8: T.D.T.'s Making her formal debut and launch- ing the Spring afternoon social sea- son, Miss Betty Cashen pitches a stag party honoring the he-belles of Jack- sonville. They came in droves. They came in the usual formal attire of open throated shirts, rumply knickers and rusty bungarees. They game in joyous mood and the noise was terrible. Chat- ter was rampant. Laughter was ribald. Yo y0's were spinning. Chewing gum was snapping. Numerous silly games were played and the entire ensemble enjoyed the mental effort. Motor cars sped by carrying myriads of beauless, envious girls. And at dusk, when gray shadows stretched out across the lawn, the gracious hostess served sardines and milk. She was assisted by Annie, the cook, and Minnie the Moocha. Every- body said it was o. k. Mr. Skidmore: Do you feel that air? Judge: That air whut'? IN MEMORIUM CFlunkedJ Harvey Bennett. Billy Jenks. Jean Zacharias. Peaches Philips. Elizabeth Anne Lewis Mabel Rogers. Betty Jane Phillips. Harriet Boggs. May Ingle. lJean Zacharias is P E R S O N A L S Pop Stearns was seen walking down Forsyth Street recently with a stunning brunette. We wonder where he got the nickel? Dick Bernard and Francis Kirby were strolling all on a Sabbath day down by the Collonadzf. They wfre boasting of their possessions when Nancy Adamson and Wilma Coleman came 'round the corner. Dick said, Quick, Francis, act like y0u're broke . By mistake Joe Steele got into the girl's Gym during setting up exercises. When Peggy asked him about it he said, VVell, really, it wasnt so bad. It was quite artistic and all that. But if you want to know, it certainly was no place for a nervous man . We understand that our honor pupil to still be more fam- ous than ever thru publication of her Complete Index Dictionary . The friends of Mr. Richard Pacetti learn with pleasure of his convalescence after a recent blonde pressure. Selwyn Jacobs ter, the school Janitor. Hey! D9n't you see what that sign says in big let- ters? It say 'No Smoking. Yes , agreed Selwyn with a winning smile, 'tBut it doesn't say 'positively'. Mrs. Peek: Ruth, Jimmy May, here. doesn't know the meaning of the word 'vigilanceh Please tell himfl Ruth Nobbs: Certainly It ineans to be alert. Mrs. Peek: That's nice. Now ta-ll him what 'alert' means. R. N. QDBJ: I dont know. to the Unabridged treatment for high was stopped by Car- St. Patricks day, lid O'K1-ly was tearing down the street at top gait, with his head down and his coat tail flying. He ran right slam into Carrol Kelly. t'Say , said Carrol, what's the matter? Fm trying to keep two boys Maybe, l, 1932 from lighting panted Ed. What two boys? I'm one of them , said the breathless Ed. It has come to the attention of your Society Editor that on Easter Sunday a stranger inquired of Olive Nobbs as to the whereabouts of the Second Pres- byterian Church. Now, Henry Hoyt absolutely quotes him as saying Mister, I'm sorry, I don't even know where the tirst one is. Hugh VVilson says Jimmy Merrill is wisky-wasby, but Sonny Moats says No. He may be wishy but one thin's certain, he is not washy. As yet roars David McQueen, I have not yet become prominent enough to have any enemies but at the present stage of the game, none of my friends like me. BEACH PARTY On Tuesday, two weeks from Weil- nesday, after school closes, the sweet young girl graduates of John Gorrie High School are planning an outing at the Beach-fthat is if anybody invites them and promises a hand out. By that time it is hoped that they will have overcome the low state of mind that accompanies the closing of school. At least they hope to have as rollicking' good time as circumstances will permit and they think, perhaps, by then they will be able to indulge in a little nourishment. In fact, it is to be a won- derful party-that is if anybody invites them. Please phone T-2057. REFORNIS NEEDED AT JOHN GORRIE f -Lip sticks in the desks. --Bi! bovs spanked who carry little pistols to parties. 11 years of school instead of 12. --Fewer furniture busting swains. fGood food in school cafeterias. -Less parental objections. -More As, and less E's . -Escalators instead of steps. -More study halls and less classes. - -Desks that don't tear stockings. - -Longer lunch periods. KITTY CAT GAZETTE Published bv the Snoor and Peep Club of John Girrie Being a LOW DTPWN on the HIGH SCHOOL .-X'in'- Barton Green Eclitox'-in-Chicf ..., Assistant Editor . Barton Green Art Editor .,.,. ..... , . ., ,.,.., ...Birton Faculty Advisor ,, ..., bliss Green New York Correspoacliknf .. , . Mrs. Vlinchf-ll's Boy Sneaky Snooper.. ...., Mary Manning Perky Peepers. ..,. .... . . Scrap Subscription Price .One Reputation

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MARS-A PROPHECY It was June 8, 1957. A large crowd was gathered at the rocketportg Witschen and Lillard, the famous pilots, were about to take oli for Mars. Ssst, Boom! Now don't think they were off, for they weren'tg they were merely having their pictures taken by Photographer Hessey. Ssst, Boom! They werre aff-and left a cloud of dust, and a crowd of cheering people behind them, among which we recognized many of our old classmates, Yvonne Champlin, the famous dancer, Juanita Ferrell, the pianist, Katharine Bacon, the social leader, john Pace, the candy tester, and others. Oh! I almost let the secret out! Well, after soaring up a few thousand miles, we were discovered. Wha-what are you two doing here? Witschen asked as he pulled us both out by the ear. Say, Lilly, look here, stowaways, Cashen and Keen! After two looks to make sure who it was, we were greeted as cordially as could be expected for stowaways, by Mr. Lillard. Here, as long as you two are here, youve got to stay, but you can at least helpf' and we were both handed a broom bearing the name of Charles Barnes. As we passed the Milky Way we saw Mary Helmet diligently sweep- ing it. We soon wore blisters on our hands from sweeping so hard and were allowed to rest awhile. Crash! Bang! A loud blast of noise was heard and a white flash tore past our ship. Looking up, we saw that it was a part of Venus. As we sped past this famous planet, we saw a large crowd gathered, which was the cause of the falling meteor. Such and so much noise! Umph! And now we saw the reason, for there stood LeRoy Hoyt, the newly elected president of Venus, and beside him stood Priscilla Adams, the presidentess. Among the crowd we noticed Norma Hussey, julia Beckman, Roland Albrecht, Read Harmon and others. But we soon left them under us. All of a sudden Mark yelled, Look out! There is Mars! Hooray! We heard a knock at the door and heard someone shout, Open the door! Let me in! Dizzy cautiously opened the door and Tom Ulmer flew in. I fell off Pluto, he explained breathlessly, but before hc could say any more, we felt a queer sensation, the rocket seemed to be bouncing up and down, and finally it ceased its queer actions. Looking out of the window, we saw that we had reached our destination, and instead of crashing to the earth as we had expected we landed with a bounce. Now, said Mark, we don't know what kind of creatures inhabit this planet, so don't be frightened at anv- thing freakish or peculiar you see. With this in mind we walked slowly onward. We came to one of the canals, for which Mars is famous, and who should be sailing in his yacht but Tom Adams. Hi, pals! he said. Where're ya goin'? I'll take you there in my boat-ya don' know? Well, I do-this'll be a nice s'prise to ya both. We wondered where we were going. and after a few ozeekas fan ozeeka is equal to ten minutesj we were instructed to follow the Painted Pathway to ???? As we trod on the beautiful paintings of this path, we noticed the initials Z. engraved in the corner of them, and recognized the work to be that of Jean Zacha- rias. Farther up the road we heard a voice saying: Use Peaches Phillips' Orange Nail Polish, C. Thompson's Comb, J. Walker's Toothpicks, Pacetti's Tin Lizzies- We turned the corner and there sat Barton Green. She jumped up. Yoo, hoo, hubby! she cried. I'm writing a book on how to be alluring! Swell, try again, replied Dizzy. Come on, he said to us, weve got to go. Around the curve was a beauti- ful house. We knocked at the door, and were let in by our friend, Frank Kirby, This was the end of the Painted Pathway: was this the right place? We followed Frank into a laboratory and there we saw our ex-teacher, Mr. Skidmore, and at his desk sat his assistant, Dick Bernard, who was also captain of the Mars basketball team. I am so glad to see youvl knew you were coming, tlioughg my future-teller, Harvey Bennett, informed me, said Mr. Skidmore. After a delicious luncheon at Betty Arnold's Chinese Tea Room, we were driven to the circus by joe Steele, and passed Madame Hutsells' beauty parlor. We also passed two very simple and sweet looking girls, Peggy Palmer and Wilma Coleman, Sunday School teachers. The featured attraction of the circus was the race be- tween rhe champion, Marion Henson, and the challenger, Judy Btelsford, who had driven her car up the rainbow to Mars. Other features were jabo Merrill, the monkey trainerg Ruth Nobbs, the Girl Hercules , Scrap Manning, the stunt canoistg Mary Noble, the dwarfg Jimmie Lanier, the giant, and another special feature was David Auchterw the tattooed Taking tickets was Bill Loest. The circus policeman was Bryan Scruggs, and the swimming champion, Martha Lee, het close runner-up was Ellen Scott. Nancy Adams was selling Peters Pink Powder Puffs and Dorothy Lewis was wandering around looking for Charlie Bessant, the soap-eater. Next we saw Ann Knight, Right this way, folks, wake her up if you cang she's been with Mays Flying Circus ever since it began, and shes been asleep ever since. A f7lIlZtl!I'6tf dollars reward if you can wake het! I thought for a moment-Qimagine!j-Mary Wallis used to kick her, when it was her turn to recite fshe was usually in a trancej in john Gorrie. Mable Rogers is Dean, now, and Billy jenks is Professor. So I thought of the bright idea of kicking her. So kick!! Ouch! Say, whats the idea? Quit it! Goodie! I yelled. I woke Ann up, now where's my hundred dollars? What hundred dollars? And whata ya talking bout? Woke Ann up, you woke Frances up! I sat up and looked and looked around me, there sat Frances Keen. What were you kicking me about, anyway? she asked me. And so it turned out to be only a dream. Of course, I had to tell her all about it on the way to school. But it really was of some good to me, for third period I fell to dreaming and was told to come down to earth and tal-ze the Science test, and it's the first Science test I've passed in a long time, and I'm sure that my trip to Mars had a great deal to do with it. -Betty Cashen, 9AX.