John Bartram High School - Trailmarker Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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sponge, mirror, forceps, etc. It was invented by Elizabeth Patton, my fellow nurse. Instead of having the aforementioned articles placed in your mouth, this simple gadget shoves SO pounds of cotton down your throat. This was suggest- ed by David Clark, who said he was missing tools lately. Elizabeth Boyd will explain that other machine to you. 'tThis is the Harold McDowell-Howard Lomax machine which pulls teeth electrically. Now I suppose the Robert Parry dental schools will teach mechanical drawing' HThis is Louise VVatson, who will describe that instrumentf, HAre these electrical machines connected or just described in series?'7 'tThis is the Donald Ritchie sectional X-ray.', 'fWell, thank you very much for the dem- onstrations, but I must leave nowf' ...It's nice and cool out here in the hall. john Hagerty and lsadore Oberman did a good job with the air-conditioning. There are all professional offices on this fioor. I canlt under- stand it. That sign says, Ujohn Driscoll, M. DF' I think I'll go in and see how he is. Pardon me, but is the doctor in?i' No, he isn't, but you can wait. Ilm his secretary, Betty Hadley. I think the doctor is performing an operation on a book for Mary Chambers, literary editor of the Readerls Digest. How can he do that?'f f'He7s taking out the appendix. Oh, here's the doctor now. - Doctor, what happened to you?! HI went down to Harry Gehretls estate to hunt deer with my brotherys secretary, Mary Ward, my chauffeur, Michael Sinno, and my two visiting nurses, Lois Combs and Marie jones, when I fell into a wellf 1 f i ,L ei-if Q L K?- ,,...,,- ywf ,A l zjjffqa. ' ,772 CLASS How many times have I told you to attend the sick and leave the well alone? - Anyway, there-'s a man to see you. I just dropped in to see how you are. Fine, and how are you?l' All right. f'Two dollars, please. tfFor what? Professional advice. If you don't have it with you, you can borrow it from the Herbert Mooney Loan Office across the hall. ...I have to get out of here. I'll slip out of this door. It's a chute. Help! Owl Ilm in a mortuary... Well, if it isn't jack McKinley. I heard that you were a doctorf, 'KI follow the medical profession, if thatls what you mean. HHow7s business? t'Dead lately. Ever since Dorothy Peters, Susie Harbin, Irene Colestock, and Ina Vance perfected their researches on vitamins, it has been so. The way it looks now, they'll have to kill the people in this town when judgment day comes. H I. 77 USO long. Be goodf'...I wonder where I am now. Finding the ninth floor is as hard as passing one of Mr. Ottis tests. - I think Iyll rest while reading this newspaper. Eleanor Farley appointed Superintendant of Schools, Herman Del Raso perfects rocket ship, to save glass, john Morley invents spectacles with verticle black lines for bank tellers? Enough of the headlines, let's see whatls on the inside. HAgnes Mesropian captures shorthand cham- pionship, Jane Comly and julia Novak per- fects gas driven potato peelerg Ickes has stroke. Things seem to be slow on the society page. ftMargaret Stinger entertains at White House. Present at party was james Pitts of the Labrae Tar of the same name. George Plossi and Edwin Weadley become members of the '40O '.,, Theyire the two zeroes on the right. - The help wanted columns are full. John Stevens needs a secretary for his Yo Yo business. So do John Devenny and Robert Moore for their astrological bureau. 'tWe guess the future to suit 'yerft I don't think theyill have any trouble. In the HSituations Wanted columns for secretary are Elizabeth Murray, Marion jackie, and Mary Harris. The stock market is

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PROPHECY other two operators to hard labor: listening to Wilhemina Curry talk about her etchings or putting curls into Doris Hollard's hair. I think she goes to Albert Harris and Robert Gilchrist, beauticians and pan handlers. to have her hair set. . .What a slow elevator! -Ioe Mazzeo could get down faster by using the stairs. . .This must be my door. I think I'll sit on this bench and rest. . .There must be other oflices on this floor, too. Theres William Hughes in a conductor's uniform. I believe that's Olga Kalinikoff with a pile of books. She must be a librarian. One book is How to Sell Advertisements by Theo- dore Butler. That is Robert Conway and Ber- nard IYatt's book on electricity: HCurrent Events . How to be a Nurse in Six Easy Lessons is written by six nursesg Angelina DiAugustina, Marjorie Cohen, Harriet Wilson, Mary Philips, Doris Trice, and Mildred Butler. The six lessons from Madame La Zonga are more interesting. - Seems to me that I hear music. There's Beatrice Geiger in a studio playing the saxophone with a piano duet, Betty Hartsock and Elaine Yankeloff. Then there are Betty Slipakoff, Betty Marshall, and Lillian Zellman dancing on feathers. Trucking on down as it were. ...I wonder why there is a crowd in the Edwin Owens Employment Office. Oh, I un- derstand. That best built man, james Kotakis, advertised for a secretary. I see Marion Cubit, Mabel Frazier, Helen Dever, Catherine Young, and many others. So many that I doubt that Dorothy Doll could add them up on her comp- tometer. ...Boy that smells good. They're fresh coffee beans. I think I'll buy a pound. The smell comes from a coffee shop owned by Martha Ditmer and Alma McAfee. It seems to be a very popular place with the teachers from the Lane Fenstermacker School next door. Some of the teachers are Eleanor Hauser, Betty Gil- more, Connie Bowen, Manito Wagner, and Howard Freedman. - Well, I came here for coffee. The waitress is Ethel Bernstein. Can I get a pound of coffee in the bean on this floor? UNO sir, youlll get that upstairs. This is the ground HOOI17, 4'What? - I've been tricked. It won7t K.-.--Y happen again. This time I'll wake up. If I wear out my shoes, I can have Thomas Doherty fix them. Whew! Now I know how Captain Walter Lasuk and Corporal john Grimes feel marching with their troops. From now on, I'm going to be careful in my dealings with elevator men. They are liable to take you up, run you down, and let you out. They never move with- out pulling wires, youlve got to be up and down with them, you give them the floor, and they7ll tell you where to get off. You can't believe them, they never stay on the level, always shift- ing from one story to another. . .What does this plaque say? 'tStairs built by Reginald jeans, rail carvings by Charles McGrath and Robert Fagan, and platform rugs designed by Nicassio Ursinof' They!re Rip Van Winkle rugs. They have an unusually long nap. . .There are a few more flights to go. Oh! . .. 'fExcuse me. My name is Maurice Hamel. Could I interest you in some life insurance? 'tSell it to the elevator operators. They'll need itf' ...This is the ninth flight. That's odd. This seems to be a series of medical offices and clinics. Here is the Herbert Kirschner Dental Parlor. It is called a parlor, because it's a drawing room. What a bevy of nurses, Maria Mirjonts, Emma I-Ietzer, Sara Gordon, Cath- erine Boyson, and many others! Look at that governess, Josephine Cassello, with that little boy looking into the dental display case. Listen! UNurse. If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair. 'fHush! It's bad form to pick your teeth in public. ...It wasn't worth stopping. Here's a modern dental office. Everything is done with machinery. Illl have to see this. MAgnes Muhlenback at your service. May I show you around? This is the automatic R rch'-4 ,',

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PROPHECY unsettled today. Leonard McMeen dirigibles are up. Henry Dickhonor saddles are stable. Helen Romanoif ink went down a point. Smith Brothers took another drop. - Heres an inno- vation. Wesley jones and Raymond Geist in their foundry are making pots and pans out of airplanes for the Mary Lowe Kitchenware Company. It is for their exhibition on the ninth floor of the Doris Mull Department Store. 'The Store for Spifty People. --- Mmmm. Ninth Hoor. Where did I hear that before? Oh yes! I'm still lost. This sign says fthe seventh floori'. That chute between the doctoris office and the mortuary must have carried me down. Ah! An oasis. An information booth operated by Marie Krauss. Pardon me, but could you direct me to the ninth floor? 'fWalk down this hall past Edward Soltis's radio shop, turn left at the cosmetic store owned by Alma Rozov and Evelyn Morrow, and down the steps to the store owned by Robert Ken- nedyf' . . .Why should she send me there? I want to go upstairs. - Here's the place. UHello! Welcome to Kennedys emporium of mine stores and suppliesf' fMine stores? I said ninth floor. She ought to go to Esther Hershman to have her hearing tested, or I should go to Amedio Mor- rone to have my speech corrected. It couldn't be I. I could speak when I was a year old, but I have to hand it to job. The Bible says he cursed the day he was born.. .Well, here I go again. I wish Mrs. Rotman was here to guide me. Offices, offices, names, professions, secretaries. Can't let go of yourself like that, Herb. Not when Jane McVeagh, Betty Krall, Miriam Frazier, and Dorothy Herndon want their classmates to know they are secretaries in this building. Not when Francis Tucker, Benny Weintraub, and George Snyder have worked up to high executive offices. You have to carry on. Ninth floor, remember? Oh yes. Well, here I go again. They ought to call me Perpet- ual Motion Simon, but there's a limit. I'll ask everyone on this floor, and I'll take an average. ...What a slew of directions! Andrew Yeatts, putting down his monkey-wrench, told me to go south, but I ducked. Attorneys Frank Wisher and Donald Frey wih their secretaries Grace Tepper and Beatrice Elliot told me to go West. If I went as far west as they told me to, I'd probably meet the spirit of Horace Greeley walking back. Isabel Meurer and Ethel Holmes told me to take the stairs on the right. I wouldn't know where to take them if I had them. I should have known better than ask Doris Ewing and Dorothy Mellar. They were so wrapped up in their dress busi- ness that they told me it was on the bias. Wo- men are all bias. It's bias this and bias that.- Two of them told me to go up these stairs. I think that this time I'll take some escorts to make sure. ...Now Ilm settled wih five escorts. I took Katherine McGonigle and Josephine Kelly away from their bookkeeping machines, Lor-1 raine Lang away from her dictaphone, Edith Koerner from her comptometer, and Dorothy Hogan from her typewriter. - This is defin- itely the ninth floor. Thanks for the help, girlsf! - There's the place. Ships, Inc. Why are those tive men standing outside? They won't let anyone into the office. They must be pickets. Seeing that they are Charles Tier- ney, john Wilson, Anthony Fusco, Ralph Weber, and Arthur Townsend, I can get rid of them. Oh, girls! Come back here. I want you to. . . psst. . .psst.!' . . .Those ladies' men donit have any self- control. Each picked a girl and went away with her. . . .I got past the four secretaries com- paratively easily. Elsie Faulkner and Elizabeth Moore were a little difficult, but Marie Miller and Mildred Lamar were cinches. Here is the door to the inside office. What does this sign say? Oh! I'm undone, sunk, crushed. just look what that sign says, 'tOut To Launchf' I dreamed it in a dream. - Herbert Simon. -9