John Bartram High School - Trailmarker Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

Page 43 text:

PROPHECY other two operators to hard labor: listening to Wilhemina Curry talk about her etchings or putting curls into Doris Hollard's hair. I think she goes to Albert Harris and Robert Gilchrist, beauticians and pan handlers. to have her hair set. . .What a slow elevator! -Ioe Mazzeo could get down faster by using the stairs. . .This must be my door. I think I'll sit on this bench and rest. . .There must be other oflices on this floor, too. Theres William Hughes in a conductor's uniform. I believe that's Olga Kalinikoff with a pile of books. She must be a librarian. One book is How to Sell Advertisements by Theo- dore Butler. That is Robert Conway and Ber- nard IYatt's book on electricity: HCurrent Events . How to be a Nurse in Six Easy Lessons is written by six nursesg Angelina DiAugustina, Marjorie Cohen, Harriet Wilson, Mary Philips, Doris Trice, and Mildred Butler. The six lessons from Madame La Zonga are more interesting. - Seems to me that I hear music. There's Beatrice Geiger in a studio playing the saxophone with a piano duet, Betty Hartsock and Elaine Yankeloff. Then there are Betty Slipakoff, Betty Marshall, and Lillian Zellman dancing on feathers. Trucking on down as it were. ...I wonder why there is a crowd in the Edwin Owens Employment Office. Oh, I un- derstand. That best built man, james Kotakis, advertised for a secretary. I see Marion Cubit, Mabel Frazier, Helen Dever, Catherine Young, and many others. So many that I doubt that Dorothy Doll could add them up on her comp- tometer. ...Boy that smells good. They're fresh coffee beans. I think I'll buy a pound. The smell comes from a coffee shop owned by Martha Ditmer and Alma McAfee. It seems to be a very popular place with the teachers from the Lane Fenstermacker School next door. Some of the teachers are Eleanor Hauser, Betty Gil- more, Connie Bowen, Manito Wagner, and Howard Freedman. - Well, I came here for coffee. The waitress is Ethel Bernstein. Can I get a pound of coffee in the bean on this floor? UNO sir, youlll get that upstairs. This is the ground HOOI17, 4'What? - I've been tricked. It won7t K.-.--Y happen again. This time I'll wake up. If I wear out my shoes, I can have Thomas Doherty fix them. Whew! Now I know how Captain Walter Lasuk and Corporal john Grimes feel marching with their troops. From now on, I'm going to be careful in my dealings with elevator men. They are liable to take you up, run you down, and let you out. They never move with- out pulling wires, youlve got to be up and down with them, you give them the floor, and they7ll tell you where to get off. You can't believe them, they never stay on the level, always shift- ing from one story to another. . .What does this plaque say? 'tStairs built by Reginald jeans, rail carvings by Charles McGrath and Robert Fagan, and platform rugs designed by Nicassio Ursinof' They!re Rip Van Winkle rugs. They have an unusually long nap. . .There are a few more flights to go. Oh! . .. 'fExcuse me. My name is Maurice Hamel. Could I interest you in some life insurance? 'tSell it to the elevator operators. They'll need itf' ...This is the ninth flight. That's odd. This seems to be a series of medical offices and clinics. Here is the Herbert Kirschner Dental Parlor. It is called a parlor, because it's a drawing room. What a bevy of nurses, Maria Mirjonts, Emma I-Ietzer, Sara Gordon, Cath- erine Boyson, and many others! Look at that governess, Josephine Cassello, with that little boy looking into the dental display case. Listen! UNurse. If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair. 'fHush! It's bad form to pick your teeth in public. ...It wasn't worth stopping. Here's a modern dental office. Everything is done with machinery. Illl have to see this. MAgnes Muhlenback at your service. May I show you around? This is the automatic R rch'-4 ,',

Page 42 text:

me about getting a position of secretary here: jane McMichael, Mary Nichau, Elizabeth Har- rison, Dorothy Fleming, and Antoinette Ciocco. The secretary we have now has been here for several years, but she's on her last lap now. ...And so with this I bid a fond farewell to this center of industry, wandering in the vici- nity of the twenty-fifth floor. I flopped down disgusted onto a chair. I wished I was in West Point with joe Procopiog in Alaska as Herbert Roebuck tried to sell refrigerators to the eski- moes. He was there four months last night. I wished I was with Harry Hartz, as he dic- tated his biological notes to Evelyn Slutsky. I can see joseph Allston as he delivered the mail to Robert Allen, foreign correspondent of the Morris London Times. ...I guess there is nothing I can do but put on this radio. ffHello everyone. This is George Lunn, your favorite radio announcer, telling you to eat Helen Lambls meat balls. They won't just harden your muscle, you'll be petrified. And now I turn you over to james Sweeney, con- ductor of the Tell it to Sweeney' hour. - Sir, I want to present Miss Freda Schwartz, White collar girl. 'fGood afternoon, Miss. And what is your problem?'! ZaX -j- lly -- 3z Z IS. UA very good problem. I'm sorry I can't answer you. It comes under the jurisdiction of the Smith quads, Elizabeth C. Smith, Elizabeth I. Smith, Mary K. Smith, and Agnes Woods. How did that last name get in?H Didn't you ever hear of a Woods-smith? ...Next case, please. Hey! There's a bottle missing from this casefl Robert Weyhmuller and Robert DiBen- dictis invented an automobile that would run on Pepsi Cola? Robert Fagan and Kathryn Vanaman made the trial run. i B -923 CLASS 'fWell, what happened to my bottle? ffThey thought it was after seven o'clock, and Meredith Bollinger and john Woodcockls soda fountain would be closed. ffI'll have to get my female investigators, Carmina Zappone, Caritas Peiffer, Adelina Fos- chi, and Roberta Barrett on the case. Zzork. . . ...What a program. I'll try another sta- tion. H...And now I turn you over to john Fereshetian, who will describe the 13th run- ning of the Fifty Cent Stockings Handicap. Take it away. HI wish I could take it away, but I signed a contract with Emily Wolf and Charles Can- non, who incorporated to make animal crackers. Well! The horses are lined up at the electrical starting gate, which was built by William Samp- son especially for the john Thilker race track. Theylre off! Onion, ridden by William Tracy, is coming strong. William Miller's mount Skin, is on the outside. Warren Lenton's Cab- bage is ahead. And the winner is Banana Peel, who just slipped across the finish line. He was jockeyed by William Hamilton. The horse's owner, jane Hunnicutt, that million dollar heiress, is placing a wreath of roses from Doris McCarrick's nurseries, around his neck. - The horse's, not the jockeyls. After all, the horse did all the work. ...No wonder they laughed at Marconi. Ifll try again. 'fHello! Your fashion illustrator, Anne Bogardus, is back with the latest styles. The bustle has definitely disappeared. I consulted with professional models Betty Currinder, Lou- ise Baus, Jean Hock, Frances MacDonald, and Kathryn Vanaman. They say it is gone, and they can't take a back seat to anyone. And now, ladies, here is Jack Preston, who will give you exercises that will keep your figure perfectf! 3 ...Walter Steimel and James Powers are the radio engineers in that studio. I wonder why he didn't cut that program off. . .I guess if they had, George Beck, the production mana- ger, would have cut him off - without a cent. .. .Well, what do you know? Therefs the elevator. Hey, wait. Ah! This one has a hostess, Mary Czaika. !fNinth floor, pleasef, - If Tom Connor was here, he'd sentence the

Page 44 text:

sponge, mirror, forceps, etc. It was invented by Elizabeth Patton, my fellow nurse. Instead of having the aforementioned articles placed in your mouth, this simple gadget shoves SO pounds of cotton down your throat. This was suggest- ed by David Clark, who said he was missing tools lately. Elizabeth Boyd will explain that other machine to you. 'tThis is the Harold McDowell-Howard Lomax machine which pulls teeth electrically. Now I suppose the Robert Parry dental schools will teach mechanical drawing' HThis is Louise VVatson, who will describe that instrumentf, HAre these electrical machines connected or just described in series?'7 'tThis is the Donald Ritchie sectional X-ray.', 'fWell, thank you very much for the dem- onstrations, but I must leave nowf' ...It's nice and cool out here in the hall. john Hagerty and lsadore Oberman did a good job with the air-conditioning. There are all professional offices on this fioor. I canlt under- stand it. That sign says, Ujohn Driscoll, M. DF' I think I'll go in and see how he is. Pardon me, but is the doctor in?i' No, he isn't, but you can wait. Ilm his secretary, Betty Hadley. I think the doctor is performing an operation on a book for Mary Chambers, literary editor of the Readerls Digest. How can he do that?'f f'He7s taking out the appendix. Oh, here's the doctor now. - Doctor, what happened to you?! HI went down to Harry Gehretls estate to hunt deer with my brotherys secretary, Mary Ward, my chauffeur, Michael Sinno, and my two visiting nurses, Lois Combs and Marie jones, when I fell into a wellf 1 f i ,L ei-if Q L K?- ,,...,,- ywf ,A l zjjffqa. ' ,772 CLASS How many times have I told you to attend the sick and leave the well alone? - Anyway, there-'s a man to see you. I just dropped in to see how you are. Fine, and how are you?l' All right. f'Two dollars, please. tfFor what? Professional advice. If you don't have it with you, you can borrow it from the Herbert Mooney Loan Office across the hall. ...I have to get out of here. I'll slip out of this door. It's a chute. Help! Owl Ilm in a mortuary... Well, if it isn't jack McKinley. I heard that you were a doctorf, 'KI follow the medical profession, if thatls what you mean. HHow7s business? t'Dead lately. Ever since Dorothy Peters, Susie Harbin, Irene Colestock, and Ina Vance perfected their researches on vitamins, it has been so. The way it looks now, they'll have to kill the people in this town when judgment day comes. H I. 77 USO long. Be goodf'...I wonder where I am now. Finding the ninth floor is as hard as passing one of Mr. Ottis tests. - I think Iyll rest while reading this newspaper. Eleanor Farley appointed Superintendant of Schools, Herman Del Raso perfects rocket ship, to save glass, john Morley invents spectacles with verticle black lines for bank tellers? Enough of the headlines, let's see whatls on the inside. HAgnes Mesropian captures shorthand cham- pionship, Jane Comly and julia Novak per- fects gas driven potato peelerg Ickes has stroke. Things seem to be slow on the society page. ftMargaret Stinger entertains at White House. Present at party was james Pitts of the Labrae Tar of the same name. George Plossi and Edwin Weadley become members of the '40O '.,, Theyire the two zeroes on the right. - The help wanted columns are full. John Stevens needs a secretary for his Yo Yo business. So do John Devenny and Robert Moore for their astrological bureau. 'tWe guess the future to suit 'yerft I don't think theyill have any trouble. In the HSituations Wanted columns for secretary are Elizabeth Murray, Marion jackie, and Mary Harris. The stock market is