John Bartram High School - Trailmarker Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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me about getting a position of secretary here: jane McMichael, Mary Nichau, Elizabeth Har- rison, Dorothy Fleming, and Antoinette Ciocco. The secretary we have now has been here for several years, but she's on her last lap now. ...And so with this I bid a fond farewell to this center of industry, wandering in the vici- nity of the twenty-fifth floor. I flopped down disgusted onto a chair. I wished I was in West Point with joe Procopiog in Alaska as Herbert Roebuck tried to sell refrigerators to the eski- moes. He was there four months last night. I wished I was with Harry Hartz, as he dic- tated his biological notes to Evelyn Slutsky. I can see joseph Allston as he delivered the mail to Robert Allen, foreign correspondent of the Morris London Times. ...I guess there is nothing I can do but put on this radio. ffHello everyone. This is George Lunn, your favorite radio announcer, telling you to eat Helen Lambls meat balls. They won't just harden your muscle, you'll be petrified. And now I turn you over to james Sweeney, con- ductor of the Tell it to Sweeney' hour. - Sir, I want to present Miss Freda Schwartz, White collar girl. 'fGood afternoon, Miss. And what is your problem?'! ZaX -j- lly -- 3z Z IS. UA very good problem. I'm sorry I can't answer you. It comes under the jurisdiction of the Smith quads, Elizabeth C. Smith, Elizabeth I. Smith, Mary K. Smith, and Agnes Woods. How did that last name get in?H Didn't you ever hear of a Woods-smith? ...Next case, please. Hey! There's a bottle missing from this casefl Robert Weyhmuller and Robert DiBen- dictis invented an automobile that would run on Pepsi Cola? Robert Fagan and Kathryn Vanaman made the trial run. i B -923 CLASS 'fWell, what happened to my bottle? ffThey thought it was after seven o'clock, and Meredith Bollinger and john Woodcockls soda fountain would be closed. ffI'll have to get my female investigators, Carmina Zappone, Caritas Peiffer, Adelina Fos- chi, and Roberta Barrett on the case. Zzork. . . ...What a program. I'll try another sta- tion. H...And now I turn you over to john Fereshetian, who will describe the 13th run- ning of the Fifty Cent Stockings Handicap. Take it away. HI wish I could take it away, but I signed a contract with Emily Wolf and Charles Can- non, who incorporated to make animal crackers. Well! The horses are lined up at the electrical starting gate, which was built by William Samp- son especially for the john Thilker race track. Theylre off! Onion, ridden by William Tracy, is coming strong. William Miller's mount Skin, is on the outside. Warren Lenton's Cab- bage is ahead. And the winner is Banana Peel, who just slipped across the finish line. He was jockeyed by William Hamilton. The horse's owner, jane Hunnicutt, that million dollar heiress, is placing a wreath of roses from Doris McCarrick's nurseries, around his neck. - The horse's, not the jockeyls. After all, the horse did all the work. ...No wonder they laughed at Marconi. Ifll try again. 'fHello! Your fashion illustrator, Anne Bogardus, is back with the latest styles. The bustle has definitely disappeared. I consulted with professional models Betty Currinder, Lou- ise Baus, Jean Hock, Frances MacDonald, and Kathryn Vanaman. They say it is gone, and they can't take a back seat to anyone. And now, ladies, here is Jack Preston, who will give you exercises that will keep your figure perfectf! 3 ...Walter Steimel and James Powers are the radio engineers in that studio. I wonder why he didn't cut that program off. . .I guess if they had, George Beck, the production mana- ger, would have cut him off - without a cent. .. .Well, what do you know? Therefs the elevator. Hey, wait. Ah! This one has a hostess, Mary Czaika. !fNinth floor, pleasef, - If Tom Connor was here, he'd sentence the

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P R O P H E C Y john Rejebian is one of my passengers. He's on his concert tour. Edith Lindstrom, his pian- ist. is here too. So looooong! What? I was brought all the way up here by that elevator! Yes. My nose is bleed- ing. I left my Dr. William Hoehing's nose plugs home. Help! I need a nurse. Ah! Here comes a whole gang of them. They must think I'm Dr. Kildare. Nurse Mary Rhine reporting. Nurse Ruth Criswell ready to cut up. Name is Sylvia Abelson. Wheres the corpse? Whats good for a bloody nose? A sock on the snootf' My dear Nurse Irene Stoller. Will you please tell your confrere Fae Familant to take off that tourniquet? It won't workf! You don't know how many patients we lose that way!'! ...I have to get away from here. Ah! Here comes relief...I knew the girls would follow Russell Gilbert. . .I still have to get to the ninth fioor. I think I'll go into this office and find the way. Letls see. HThe American Society for the Conservation of Everything by the Use of Nothing. I might as well walk in and listen to the lecture. It's just starting. HI, Edwin Gillespie, President of the A. S. C. E. U. N., wish to introduce Ruth Bird, emanent home economics teacher. HWhy not conserve potatoes? For French fried potatoes use turnips. It doesn't taste like potatoes. That's why it's so novel. It may sound difficult, but it works!'! UI had hoped to bring to you today, Dor- othy Ritchie, the music teacher, Adelaide Am- mon, Lois Barbanell, and Ruth Vierling, also members of the teaching profession, but as the man said when he cut the magazine in half, H fTime! is getting shortfl .. .I'm right back where I started. Par- don me, but could you direct me to the ninth floor? 'fSorry, but I can direct you to the First National Bank. My name is Benjamin Frank. I'm a bank director. If you want a loan, just make an appointment with my private secret- ary, Harriet Brodkin, or Eileen Duffy, my not so private secretary. Goodbye. ...My last chance is the protographers studio. What a motto! ttMiracle Photo. Co. If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle! The owners are james Crouse and Alexander Xena- kis. Oh well! Things are bad all over. f'Say, Alex, you have quite a collection of pictures here. There's one of Pennsylvania's football team of '4S. I see Bill Confalone, Lloyd Van Syckle, Vincent De Falco, and Charles Faust. Heres the basketball team also, Gordon Burke, Paul Carden, and Chester Kochesperger. This is a picture of Christopher Brennan, soloist, James Entrican and George Haas of the Phil- harmonic, and Mary DiMaggio and Regina Mullen, trippers of the light fantastic. Here's a camera oddity. It looks like a parachute jumperg Andrew Ruffin, as he floated by line- man, Robert Dugan, had an upheld arm which appeared to jab Bob's eye. Seems to be a job for optometrist, Stanley Simkins. This picture on the end shows daring. Ruth Smith is thun- dering down David Holmes' newly paved street and George Allston, when taking a metal bar from his garage to Charles Heaton to be welded, stepped to within three feet of the curb. I can still hear the bell as Robert jones drove his ambulance to the Albert Kleeman Hospital for Defenseless Pedestrians. I hear they used the car as a book end for the unabridged edi- tion of f'My Boy Friends!! by Virginia Pelle- chea. Ah! - a picture of the finalists in the Miss America contest. There's Helen Milligan, Mary McCullen, Jane Gamage, Ruth Minter, and Elaine Wells. . .Enough of this browsing. I!ll ask the clerk to direct me to the ninth floor. The sign says his name is Frederick Grabenstein. 'fPardon me, clerk, but could you show me the way to the ninth floor?'! !'I'm not the clerk. My name is Richard McAlonan, hiring agent for this firm. I have to hurry. There are five girls waiting to see

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PROPHECY other two operators to hard labor: listening to Wilhemina Curry talk about her etchings or putting curls into Doris Hollard's hair. I think she goes to Albert Harris and Robert Gilchrist, beauticians and pan handlers. to have her hair set. . .What a slow elevator! -Ioe Mazzeo could get down faster by using the stairs. . .This must be my door. I think I'll sit on this bench and rest. . .There must be other oflices on this floor, too. Theres William Hughes in a conductor's uniform. I believe that's Olga Kalinikoff with a pile of books. She must be a librarian. One book is How to Sell Advertisements by Theo- dore Butler. That is Robert Conway and Ber- nard IYatt's book on electricity: HCurrent Events . How to be a Nurse in Six Easy Lessons is written by six nursesg Angelina DiAugustina, Marjorie Cohen, Harriet Wilson, Mary Philips, Doris Trice, and Mildred Butler. The six lessons from Madame La Zonga are more interesting. - Seems to me that I hear music. There's Beatrice Geiger in a studio playing the saxophone with a piano duet, Betty Hartsock and Elaine Yankeloff. Then there are Betty Slipakoff, Betty Marshall, and Lillian Zellman dancing on feathers. Trucking on down as it were. ...I wonder why there is a crowd in the Edwin Owens Employment Office. Oh, I un- derstand. That best built man, james Kotakis, advertised for a secretary. I see Marion Cubit, Mabel Frazier, Helen Dever, Catherine Young, and many others. So many that I doubt that Dorothy Doll could add them up on her comp- tometer. ...Boy that smells good. They're fresh coffee beans. I think I'll buy a pound. The smell comes from a coffee shop owned by Martha Ditmer and Alma McAfee. It seems to be a very popular place with the teachers from the Lane Fenstermacker School next door. Some of the teachers are Eleanor Hauser, Betty Gil- more, Connie Bowen, Manito Wagner, and Howard Freedman. - Well, I came here for coffee. The waitress is Ethel Bernstein. Can I get a pound of coffee in the bean on this floor? UNO sir, youlll get that upstairs. This is the ground HOOI17, 4'What? - I've been tricked. It won7t K.-.--Y happen again. This time I'll wake up. If I wear out my shoes, I can have Thomas Doherty fix them. Whew! Now I know how Captain Walter Lasuk and Corporal john Grimes feel marching with their troops. From now on, I'm going to be careful in my dealings with elevator men. They are liable to take you up, run you down, and let you out. They never move with- out pulling wires, youlve got to be up and down with them, you give them the floor, and they7ll tell you where to get off. You can't believe them, they never stay on the level, always shift- ing from one story to another. . .What does this plaque say? 'tStairs built by Reginald jeans, rail carvings by Charles McGrath and Robert Fagan, and platform rugs designed by Nicassio Ursinof' They!re Rip Van Winkle rugs. They have an unusually long nap. . .There are a few more flights to go. Oh! . .. 'fExcuse me. My name is Maurice Hamel. Could I interest you in some life insurance? 'tSell it to the elevator operators. They'll need itf' ...This is the ninth flight. That's odd. This seems to be a series of medical offices and clinics. Here is the Herbert Kirschner Dental Parlor. It is called a parlor, because it's a drawing room. What a bevy of nurses, Maria Mirjonts, Emma I-Ietzer, Sara Gordon, Cath- erine Boyson, and many others! Look at that governess, Josephine Cassello, with that little boy looking into the dental display case. Listen! UNurse. If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair. 'fHush! It's bad form to pick your teeth in public. ...It wasn't worth stopping. Here's a modern dental office. Everything is done with machinery. Illl have to see this. MAgnes Muhlenback at your service. May I show you around? This is the automatic R rch'-4 ,',