John Adams High School - Clipper Yearbook (Ozone Park, NY)

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Weather Warm and r T e Junk if it don't ram. Motto: All the news that fits we print. EDITORS' ON THE ROCKS JUNE, 1966 Pick Book Worm For ,Ll-6 Term I was walking down the avenue the other day when I met Goo Goo Edleman the most studious gradu- ate of 1946. I must admit that he has changed though slight- ly. I-Ie greeted me with his favorite ex- pression Hi keedl After exchanging greet- ings, he told me that he loves pitcher books and craves jing C1966 brand of swingj and 'consistently haunts dance halls. He was speechless a good deal of the time and was forced to use sign language, due to his inadequate vocabulary. As he was talking, Dr. Jerome O'Neill joined our con- versation. Goo Edle- man said that he loves gay girls and bright lights. As he left me Ger- ald told me that his boss, Dr. Jerome O'Neill, is a lovely, lovey, man whom I clearly admire. Dr. O'Neill said in his resounding orator- ical style, Ditto. Mol Dignifiezl? Never More! The guest of the Ye Olde Adamsites Dance who went around open- ing his mouth to show his fellow alumnis his newest bridge and slapping everyone on the back was Joseph Rosewater, most digni- fied graduate of June 1946. His meanest of all tricks was trip- ping up Virginia Yark- in his sister graduate as she alighted down the stairway. The editors. reporters, publishers. printers. and distributors of this you guess what . do not request you to -read anything printed herein. You do so at your own risk and with detri- ment to your character. Cute Marilyn Brown Wins Beauty Crown Miss Marilyn Brown, who was voted the best looking girl in her graduating class, can currently be seen work- ing behind the counter of Epstein's Delicates- sen. Apparently her good looks were not marred in the past twenty years, for she was crowned Miss Bo- logna of 1966 at the recent Liverwurst Con- vention. Mr. Epstein is quoted as saying, Business has picked up since Miss Brown started working here. .-0, Says Being Lazyf' Simply Isn't Crazy Chosen as the Chief Sitters in the U. S. last week are Mildred O'Neill and Robert Downey. They have won this honor for the fourth year in a row. There has always been much wonder about the reason for their in- tensive laziness to win the title. Many believe it is to get revenge on the students of John Adams High School for selecting them the most active seniors in the school. Has Gone Insane Working For Crane Domenic Clemente, chosen as the noisiest of the Class of 46 has just found a job that satisfies himself and suits his personal- ity. He now works for the Crane, Crane, 8x Crane Corporation, operating a pneumatic drill. Your reporter discovered him, after locating the root of the tremendous noise, dig- ging up the corner of l01st St. and Rock- away Blvd. 10.1 You Hear Jazz At Club Alcatraz Kenneth Zapf and Mary Ann Sayers have been employed as a duet by the Club Alca- traz. They can be found there every Sat- urday night playing on their sweet potatoes. They have failed so miserably, that t h e management has threat- ened to make them eat their instruments i f they don't succeed. They were quoted as saying, Well, what's wrong with eating po- tatoes? VOTED QUIET, CAUSES RIOT Miss Margaret Fran- ces has turned her tal- ents toward a scientific job requiring t h e strength and stamina only to be gained by e a t i n g Wheaties fwhich she asserts she never touchesj. Miss Frances tests New Year's Eve noise- makers in a factory on Long Island. She has reported that things are running smoothly, and this year, we may ex- pect an unusually noisy crop of noisemakers. Mr. Michael Petrysyn, also voted the quietest of the class of '46, ob- tained the position of porter with the South- ern Pacific Railroad af- ter graduating. He has worked his way up to the position of train- man. The railway au- thorities claim he is very successful in such a difficult position. Mr. Petrysyn calls out the stops along the Ana- hiem, Mazooza, and Kookamongan route. io.. Ambitious? Why Shore! Patricia Camden and Robert Laube, the peo- ple who did most for Adams in 1946 were found running through the halls taking bulbs out of their sockets and eating them. When questioned as to the nature of their business, they replied, We've ate so much recently, that we're eat- ing light today. 26

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7ewuumameumZ Murfb um mud uf .rlae could be Aizd .fbe buffed und puffed with rage. W' bile Moy jllfl' .rbook ber finger Arid mid. Now ur! your age. For April wily ez problem cbild U7bo jiouled uud ucted uuiu Arid zwbeir tbey uuuzted .rumzy Jkiex, Sbe'd .Hurt right itz to ruin. Gentle julie um quite dirturbed - Arid elucked ber tongue uizd Jigbed july und Auguxt looked fzerturbed, Still, April cried und fried. Tlren quickly und ufitbout u 'word Sbe .rr11iled, uud tbe .ruu .fbozze bright, Atzd Ibeiz ,rbe .flgllfflb u gentle breeze And euerylbiug -wuy rigbu PATRICIA LYNCH 25 Wmdm Look utntbe world about youg Tuke itz ull ibut you .reef Leuru to appreciate tbe beuuty of life Muruel ut tbe deep blue .fed Gaze ull you want ut tbe uzouutuiizsg Tuke more tbuu u glurzce ut tbe brook Arid dou't let urzyoue fool you, Not euerytbiug'5 leurrzed in u book. Doift let tbe izigbt be friglaterzirzg: juJt tbiuk of tbe .vturf us your frieudf, Arid you'll get ulorzg, fwitbout need of iz song To ebeer you up irz tbe end. NEIL DOYLE I

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THE JUNK Page Two CLASS ORATOR TALKING MORE Miss Patricia Cam- dem has lived up to the title of Class Orator, which was be- stowed upon her in her senior term of high school. She has re- markable ability for talking herself into things and out of things. She recently became employed as a saleslady at Halpern 8: Family, Antiques 8: Pinochle Dealers, a large concern just off Fifth Avenue. Her first endeavor resulted in the sale of two hundred antedeluvian lamps to the Institute of Ultra- Modern Design. Miss Camden lewft her form- er job because she claimed that it was im- possible to learn a living wage. She work- ed on a commission basis in a nun's haber- dashery store which catered to wome-n only. .-so-. B3JSIlflll Adams Folk Find Good Anticlote Once upon a time Muriel and John Pirkl had a sedate greenish- blue with reddish tints complexion when some- one gazed in their di- rection. But now . . . with the amazing new discovery of Dr. Cure Nothing's new drug, everything is different. A much more flattering shade of red-violet cov- ers their upper epider- mis. There is but one thing to be perfected. They are so bashful that they have chosen to live high up in the Empire State Building. As everyone lcndws, there is usually a fog surrounding the 80th story. No one can see their coloring anyway. 27 Uh, Beachcomber Fred Zinna and Janet Wesley are working to- gether during the sum- mer on the beach at Coney Island. Their job is to deposit waste paper and junk into a receptacle. A sign has been posted there ad- vertising their work. It states, Business i s Picking Up. Senior Class Pet Now is All Wet If you happened to p a s s Joe Klofsky's Hardware Store and peeked in the broken glass windows you would have seen Vir- ginia Galvin still carry- ing on her traditon of class pet. For she spent most of her days helping her boss to sort the nuts from the bolts. But last week she was fired. When asked the reason for her employer's rash action she replied, I was sorting out my nuts and bolts one day when he asked me what I thought of him, but at the time I was so engrossed with my work I misunderstood him, and answered . . . your nuts? Thais A Yoke Mr. De Falco is now publishing a hook with the help of Miss Helen Peterson, also chosen as wittiest of the Class of '46. They claim the title is Son, That's a Yoke, to be, That's a Yoke or If You D0n't Get It now, You Never Will. . Certain Sad Sack Says Sharps Return Standing on Rock- away Blvd. these days is Richard Metscher who was voted best dressed Senior twenty 'years ago. He is still in the latest trends with purple plaid trou- sers, tan loafe-rs fboth heeless and toelessl a green sweater with yel- low patches at the el- bows and a red tie. When asked what he was doing at present, he replied: I'm writing a fash- ion calumn for men entitled Hsad Sacks. Any complaints, any desires to sue, any anythings should' be given to the following people who will glady burn them at their most convenient opportunity: Mildred Holt, chairman, Aaron Adler, Gloria Beck, Margaret Francis, Dorothy Greenwalt, Helen Schlereth, Dolores Smith, Rosalie Sherman, .loan Steers, Sam Vizza, Ruth Weinberger, Janet Wesley, Virginia Yarkin and any disappointments in the layout and rhyming headlines should be given over to Pat Brown, who will give them over to Dave Goodman, who will give them over to the waste basket. BILL WHITELY ACTS NIGHTLY Flashlll . . . Broad- way has discovered a ushinning new star, namely our own Wil- liam Whitely, who 20 years ago was chosen the best actor in Adam's class of .Iune '46. He can now be seen in the play, My Mother's Father. Since this part calls for a strong loud voice, Bill was chosen. As the curtain rises everyone is on stage, that is all but Bill. Perhaps he's in the second act. But the second comes and goes and so does the third fthere's four in this playj . Finally at the end, from behind the scenes, comes a low voicing, gaining in momentum until it be- comes deep and thund- ering. At last Bill is about to speak. SHHH. let's listen.. Smoking downstairs or in the outer lobby please. i0T Alumni Wins Fame In Lecturing Game Mr. Joseph Rose- water, another illustri- ous member of the famous Class of '46, has indeed made a name for himself. He has indeed made a series of lectures at Columbus Circle. The soap box was helpfully contributed by the Doll Molleve Soap Com- pany, where he once worked as a bubble blower. Ed. note: Dis- cretion prevents us from printing the name he made for himself. Mary Nicoletti voted best dressed girl is now employed in a butcher shop where she dresses chickens. When ques- tioned as to how nice her work was, she an- swered Oh, it's all stuffing and nonsense.