John Adams High School - Clipper Yearbook (Ozone Park, NY)

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DIAMON D DUET I BERNARD RUTSTEIN Time-The last half of the ninth inning. The Scene - Groundhog Stadium, the baseball plant of the Big League Groundhog Club. The characters-Moe McCune, Manager of the Groundhogsg Patrick Poe, a Groundhog player afflicted with a touch of jinglesg and Ossie James, a reputed relative of Jesse James. Manager McCune-Now listen, kid. The sacks are loaded, there's two gone, and we gotta get a hit. Now don't try to kill that ball. Use rhythm and take a nice, smooth cut at the pill. If you swing from the toes and strike out, it'll cost you a hundred plasters. Use rhythm. Now go up there and get your hit. Player Poe--I gotcha, boss. Rhythm, that's me. QTo himself as he goes to the plate,-Why, makin' rimes is my middle monicker! Umpire James-Bawl-l-l-l-l one! Player Poe fsoftly singing to himself,-A guy I like for umplng games is good old umpire Ossie James. For what he sees, that's what he'll call. I know the next will be a ball. Umpire James-Stri-i-ke one! Player Poe Cfrowning a littlel-If that there wild one was a strike, Herb Hoover's aunt is Denver Mike. But any ump, though good and kind, is apt to be a little blind. Umpire James fwith digrlityl-Was you addressin' them poetical re- marks to me, young feller? Player Poe fdisregarding umpire as he continues softly siugingj-How passing strange they pay some guys good wages just to use their eyes. If I should bat like they can see, Pd owe the Groundhog Club a fee. Umpire James-Just one more verse of insultin' poetry like that'll cost you ten dollars. Bawl-I-l-l tuh! Player Poe-Oh, joy and rapture unrelined! Sometimes an umpire is 5

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Ode To Spring Fair fragrant herald of a better tilne on earth Replace our sombre sadness with the wings of mirth Radiant child of nature's generosity! Rid us of our mantle of oppressed misery. Boon of poets, thy renaissance each year To all thy reign is one of cheer. Sweet-smelling sod, new verdant lawns Effervescent brooks, and gamboling fauns. When thou wert by fair Aphrodite wooed Was not thy potent charm the balm that soothed? Did not thy vibrance bring new life To pilgrim fathers fraught with strife? Do not the furr-ed creatures which hibernate Thy clarion call with anxious ears await? In token of your coming here Do not the violets bloom each year? Dreary, emotionless mortals thy new-born ecstasy animates The barren woodside thy magic touch rejuvenates 'Neath azure skies 'midst pastel-tinted hills Glides the vibrant lark which trills In thankful eulogy of thy balsamic fragrance An humble ode eloquent of nature's cadence Thou need'st no further sign of work well doneg Thy just reward is labor well begun. Oh! teach me of thy mystic charm! With such a boon P11 do no harm. If I could hug to me such precious power For all the world I'd make an osprey's bower. On every mountain top Pd place a jewel And make of all, both sage and fool Restless tenants of thy fair domain Waiting for thee to come again. Lawrence Kaplan

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not blind. The sweetest words I e'er recall is when the umpire mur- murs, Bawl! Umpire James Kturning slightly crimson about the neckl-Str-i-i-ke tuh! Now try and rhyme that oif! Player Poe- Strike two! Ye Gods! What words are these? That ball would cut a lizard's knees. Umpire James-That'll be about all the poetry today I guess. You're lined ten dollars, young feller. Now try and make a rhyme for that. Player Poe-No line shall ever still my song whene'er a thieving ump is wrong. Pll sing- Umpire James-Yeah! Well, here's another theme to croon about, Mr. Poe. Twenty dollars! Sing something about that. Bawl-l-l-l thre-e-e! Player Poe-Hark! What was that? Ball three? My word! Can this be true that I have heard? But truth prevails with even chumps and even, at times, with baseball umps. Umpire James-Foul-l-l Bawl-l-l-l! Player Poe-Ah, true it is, it was not fair. It bit the grandstand way up there. Umpire James fScowlingJ-Foul-l-l-l Bawl-l-l! Player Poe-Another foul he did not miss! Oh glorious truth, what joy, what bliss! The next ball, too, perhaps he'll trace. And on four balls give me my base. Umpire James Kas vicious line drive strikes near third base foul lineJ- Fowl-l-l-l Bawl-l-l-! Player Poe fin amazement as he returns from first basel-He called it foul! How truth will flit. Right on the line that onion hit. The James boys steal with no remorse-though Jesse always used a horse. Umpire James-Keep right on, Mr. Longfellow! That last poetical in- spiration'l1 cost you twenty dollars more. A-ha! I thought so. That kinda took all the poetry outa you, hey? Player Poe-No cursed pelf my song shall still. With rhythm I will smite that pill. Umpire James lsuspiciouslyl-What was that last crack? If that cursed pelf stuh' means what I think it does after I look it up when I get back to my hotel, it'll cost you fifty dollars, Mr. Tennyson. Now get in there and bat. Stri-i-i-ke thre-e-e-e! ! Heezout ! ! Player Poe-Out! Out you say! Oh, woe and grief! To you porch-climlr ing, wall-eyed thief! If . . . Umpire James froaringl-That'll be enough of poetry, Mr. Poe, it's C Please turn to Page 501 6