Jersey Shore High School - Orange and Black Yearbook (Jersey Shore, PA)

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JERSEY SHORE HIGH SCHOOL 13 After a few days of eating more tomatoes we were getting to look so much like a tomato that Berky picked me out of the garden and almost bit my head off. The model kits finally arrived and saved us from turning completely into tomatoes. We immediately set to work on these models and in a few days had them finished. Berky, the dumb Swede , practically amputated four of his fingers when he tried to use a razor blade to carve out his propeller. Boyl Look at this 'beaut,' exclaimed Berky holding up his model for inspection. I think I'll try a non-stop flight across the ocean in this. I think 'brute' would be a better word to describe that bunch of junk, I said. As a model builder you would make a good garbage collector. Okay, but I'll bet mine will fly farther than yours! retorted Berky. I'll take you up on that, I exclaimed. We'll go up in our attic and sail them out the window. We then went up to the attic where we flipped a coin to see who would try to fly his model first. Berky lost, and his model imme- diately flew a direct course - to the ground. I stood back and laughed so hard I thought I would break a rib. Finally, however, I subsided and prepared to launch my model on its initial flight. I leaned out the window and let it go. It flew with the exactness of a stone dropped from the Eiffel Tower, and Berky started to roar with laughter. This only goes to show you that He who laughs last laughs the longest. . MY EXPERIENCES AS A LOW DOWN SKUNK TRAPPER - remember that day? WILLIAM MCGOWAN OW to relate to you my experiences as a trapper. I had about a dozen and a half traps set in the hollow and looked at them every morning before going to school. The results were as follows: first morning, nothingg second morn- ing, nothing: third morning, rabbit hair: fourth morning, a rabbit Cbut I let him goj, Hfth morning Cbelieve it or notj two skunks with just a little white behind their heads. Very purty to look at from a distance. I caught the first one on a trail leading to a hole by a dam. Determined to follow the instructions that I had received to a I took off my gloves Cmuch to my regret laterj and laid down my gun. Ready? Sez I to myself. Ready , I sez. So I walk very slowly toward Mr. Polecat, never making a sudden motion. Up went his tail. But a McGowan retreat? No, sir. Everything went O. K. When I kept moving up he kept moving back until he reached the end of his chain. The unexpected then happened! I got it right across the chin and chest.

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12 THE ORANGE AND BLACK A BRAIN STORM -a couple of ripe tomatoes weather a storm - and how! DOUGLAS DE VINE NE hot summer day James Bergstrom, Creferred to as Berky through the rest of the storyj, and I were taking our usual after- noon siesta. Of course, we were in a secluded spot so that our parents couldn't find us and put us to work. Don't get the idea that we're lazy. We just lacked ambition. We had just returned from an escapade in Berky's garden where we had secured the most luscious tomatoes, the cream of the crop if I may say so. Since Berky had successfully iilched his mothers salt shaker, these tomatoes were really a luxury. Shucks! I wish there was something to do, I said. Why do you want to do anything? yawned HBerky bringing his nose out from inside a large tomato. It takes all my excess energy to lift this tomato up to my mouth. It's useless to talk to a fellow in that frame of mind: so I let him put his nose back into the tomato, which was about as big as a water- melon. Because I was using my head for something besides a hat-rack, I was suddenly hit by an idea that almost bowled me over. I rolled over to tell Berky about it and accidentally put my hand on the tomato he was eating, smearing it all over his face, What are you trying to do? sputtered 'ABerky . Ruin my 'school girl' complexion? What complexion are you talking about? Your face looks like a rusty tin can, I retorted. Okay, wise guy, you're not exactly a Clark Gable or Robert Tay- lor yourself, remarked A'Berky , wiping the remains of tomato from his face. Say, you bad excuse for a human being, if you want to hear what l have in mind, you'll have to shut your mouth so I can see your face. Okay, brains. Well, I was lying here looking at the sky when an airplane came into view. I was wondering if we could build a model of it? I ex- plained. Say, I think you have something there, said Berky , showing the first bit of ambition he had shown since he kicked the rungs out of the cradle. We immediately ran down to my house where my brother had a collection of airplane magazines. After a few hours of looking through these magazines, we finally decided upon the model we would try to build. Since Berky and I were not a couple of J. P. lVlorgan's, we had to inveigle our parents into giving us the necessary 'Adoughf' After much dickering around we finally collected the required funds and sat down to fill out our order, which we mailed, Then, having worn off our excess energy, we retired to our hideout to finish the tomatoes.

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14 THE ORANGE AND BLACK I had to retreat, no matter what you say-A McGowan had to retreat. Bong! Round one for Mr. Polecat. Bong! Round two coming up. I walked very slowly this time up that perilous bank. He kept moving back to his corner. Suddenly I made a grab for his neck, but doggone it, nobody told me a skunk would bite. Before I could grab his tail he gave me a cuff right across the thumb, leaving a nice blood blister on it. Again I had to retreat and while retreating he gave me a broad side right across the back. Bong! Round two for Mr. Polecat. Bong! Round three coming up. Determined to get him this time, I disregarded all the advice which I had received and took a pole about ten feet long and turned Mr. Pole- cat over on his back with his guns pointing away. I then grabbed him behind the neck and dragged him to the run to drown him. Laying this skunk along the trail I proceeded to the next trap. which was by a lumber pile near an old abandoned house, and lo and behold another skunk! By now I was rip roaring mad, because I feared I would be late for school. I walked very slowly toward this polecat, when he gave me a fwcll, a bit of perfumej. I had to retreat again, but by no means was I discouraged. I picked up a pole about ten or twelve feet long and applied the same measures to this one as to the last. Thanks to old man experience, I got him in one round. The other traps spelt E-M-P-T-Y. Picking up the last skunk by his hind legs I proceeded to carry him down to the other skunk which I had left by the trail. No sooner had I got about one-fourth of the way there when Ibe- lieve it or notj he came to. Then as you may imagine, I had a swell time. When I arrived home there was no need to tell mother I caught the skunks, one of her senses told her. I-Iurrying as much as possible I took a bath and poured on plenty of perfume. I then went to school thinking no one could smell me. Entering the room, I no sooner sat down in my seat when: Mc- Gowan, did you catch a skunk this morning? No, sez I, I got two of them. That's what it smells like, sez they. After spending the day in a smelly school Cnot quite all my faultl and everybody kidding me, I was glad when it was over, and thoroughly disgusted with the life of a Low Down Skunk Trapper.