Jefferson Township High School - Criterion Yearbook (New Paris, OH)

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LAST WILL AND TESTALAENT We, the twenty-three, ambitious souls of the Senior Class of 1949, are expecting to graduate and want to pass on our most highly treasured possessions, traits, and nonsense, to the poor bewildered class of nineteen hundred and fifty we now give you these dear memories of ours, to have and to hold until you in turn pass them on. We sincerely hope that you will treasure them dearly and keep them forever above the ground. You may have our poorly lighted dungeon and our green wastepaper can. Also we leave our blackboards, erasers Qwhat's left of themj, and a few measly pieces of white chalk. Then, too, you can have our faulty window shades that never warn you when they are about to fall down. Now comes our personal wills: I, Charles Richard Andy, do hereby will and bequeath my baseball ability to Bud Burden. QKeep 'em pitchin', Budl. I, Jean Elizabeth Arthur, do hereby will and bequeath my hot temper and liking to argue to Lillian Bonnett. I, Robert Eugene Bottoms, do hereby will and bequeath my ability to fall from one grade to another to Pete Smith. I, Donna Lou Brown, do hereby will and bequeath my Hockey Days to Doris Johnson. . I, James Edward Clark, do hereby will and bequeath my good humor and witty sayings to Norman Watts. I, Robert Paul Copenhefer, do hereby will and bequeath my studiness and good manners to Bob Leisure. flviake good use of this, Bobj. I, LaVerne Diggs, do hereby will and bequeath my glamorous figure and snazzy bangs to Louise Fussner. I, Martha Adelaide Eales, do hereby will and bequeath my art ability to Joan Wil- liams. I, Leland Jack Federico, do hereby will and bequeath my Don Juan charm to Denver Martin. l, Howard Leon Ford, do hereby will and bequeath my siic-syllabled words to Herschel Snyder. Q Baffle them, Hersh .J I, Lola Jane I-Iarshman, do hereby will and bequeath my square dancing ability to Jeanne Moore. QSwing your partner, Jeannej. I, James Eugene Juday, do hereby will and bequeath my puniness to Charles Atlas, the second , Jim Tewell. I, June Mae Keller, do hereby will and bequeath my quietness to the loud-mouthed Donna Wallen. 28

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We found Martha Eales running the Slippery Eel Night Club. Two of her fea- tured entertainers were Peggy Zurwell and Jean Arthur. They were billed as The Hula Hicks , their specialty being a sensational grass skirt number. As we were enjoying the show, we heard a disturbance and saw the bouncer putting a rowdy cus- tomer out the door. We thought we recognized the bouncer, and sure enough, it was Bud Stegall, While talking to Bud afterwards, he told us that he had gotten all his strength from eating Wheaties, three times a day. Traveling westward we passed through several states, but could find no further clues. Stopping in a small mountain town, we saw a man coming down the street pushing a push cart. He looked very sad and forlorn. We recognized him as Bob Copenhefer. He was the official garbage collector of Horseshoe Bend, Colorado. Having had an unhappy love affair, he had turned to garbage collecting to soothe his aching heart. Bob told us he had seen Joan Melody traveling through the town with a band. We traced her to Denver and found that she was the featured tuba player with a band called The Toothless Tooters. When not playing the tuba, she was featured in an act as a snake charme r. We found that our old friend Dick Steele had really lived up to his name, He was in jail in Carson City, Nevada. Seems he was raising canaries for a living, but in- stead of buying bird seed, he would steal it. He got caught and was to be defended in court by that up-and-coming lawyer, Lawrence Nickelson, known around the West as Dishonest Nick. I-le had only been married four times and was living in Reno, Nevada since he spent so much time there anyway. Also in Reno, we found the for- mer Donna Lou Brown working in a gambling casino. She was married to a gambler and they were really rolling in the dough. They were trying to get enough money to come back to Ohio and buy a farm so they could raise hogs. Our search had now narrowed down to two members. We started toward Mexico because we had heard that Lola Harshman was a bull-fighter down there. We found her in Mexico City and she invited us to watch her performance. She was very good and really knew how to throw the bull. It was quite a jump from the New Paris tele- phone exchange. One more now remained to be found. We traveled miles and rniles until we reached the Smoky Mountains. There we came upon a shack surrounded by chenille bedspreads, which were for sale. We stopped to buy one and were shocked to see that the aging man who hobbled out was LeRoy de Federico. He made chenille spreads and sold them for a living. LeRoy told us that he used to make mountain brew but couldn't keep from drinking it all himself, so he had switched to making bedspreads. Our search being ended, we returned to New York City with our report to Mr. Virgil Petry. And were rewarded with--you guessed it--one bottle of hair growerff 27

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I, Marilyn June Mann, do hereby will and bequeath my kitchen work to Dorothy Freck. QStart peelin' those spuds, Dorothyj. l, William Lawrence Markley, do hereby will and bequeath my ambition to be- come a hermit to Melvin Diggs. , l, Anne Berneice Martin, do hereby will and bequeath my calmness and soft laugh to Jacqueline Hopkins. QI-Iere's hoping it helpsl. l, Joan Ellen Melody, do hereby will and bequeath my piano pecking for the chorus, to Deborah Jurgens. QBe careful of the Lost Chord, Debfj I, Lawrence Eugene Nickelson, do hereby will and bequeath my speediness to poky Noel Bryant. QStep on it, Noell. I, Virgil Petry, Jr., do hereby will and bequeath my ability to go with 7th and 8th grade girls to Gordon Arnold. I, Richard Le Roy Steele, do hereby will and bequeath my reckless driving and good luck to Duane Arnett. I, Everett Eugene Stegall, do hereby will and bequeath my ability to play Basket- ball to Philip Nelson. I, Dorothy Jean Thompson, do hereby will and bequeath my ability to get Pandas to Patty Stemple. I, Peggy Annabelle Zurwell, do hereby will and bequeath my smallness to Jacque- line Reid. lTake care of my diet, Jacky. ln witness the reofg 47 f 29