Jefferson Township High School - Criterion Yearbook (New Paris, OH)

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ONE MAN'S TROUBLES Once there was a Harsh man, Whose name was Handy Andy, He lived in Federico Town, A village fine and dandy. He bought a Steele jalopy A Brown and orange Ford. He'd take a drive to A-Eur Ville Whenever he got bored. One day he went to Arthur Ville And thinking he was clever Home he came - Tied to his Ford Was a fat new Copen hefer As he was driving along the road His Ford got out of control He jerked and swerved and skidded Then rammed a telephone pole: Poor Handy was badly shaken up As for the cow you can guess And to say the least - the colored Ford Was one big healthy messff So up he got - and home did trot His cow with him was bringing He felt so happy that Halfway home, he started in a-singing. This Mann and cow became good friends And Handy named her Juday. Although her Keller was kinda queer She was christened The Village Cutie. Now, help was needed to care for the cow. Topsy Bottoms was given the task. I can only pay you in Nickel son, Is that too much to ask? N ot if you pay me enough of them I think the wage will be swell. So Handy agreed and added this chore You can also, Diggs Zur well. Then Topsy neglected Juday next day While he was diggin' and sweatin' Juday got sick, Dock Markley was called And Nurse Thompson was stewin' and frettin', All of their efforts-alas-were in vain Juday died with a Melody singing. They had the funeral the very next day At eve when the cow-bells were ringing. Undertaker Petry made all the plans I-Ie knew Handy's fondness for Juday So had inscribed on a Clark monurnent, In Memory of the Village Cutie. The master was all broken up over this For a man can't help how he feels So he decided to take a trip to the sea And visit the Martins, Stegalls fSeagullsJ and Eales Now Handy's away on a nice long trip And Miss Kemp is keeping his house. So I'll travel on to my hole in the wall For you see, I'm a bad little mousef . . .By Joan Melody. 18

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US KIDDIES PET PEEVE PRIDE AND JOY RESTING OVERTURE RECOGNIZED BY Poor Sports B Autographed Take Me Out To Ma Baseball The Ball game. Being teased Ability to tell Peg of My Jeanne people off. Heart. People cor- Paper route The Drinking Herb recting me. Song. Being bothered My Man Anniversary Brownie when busy. Song Big Bosses Sneeze Too Many Times. Bucket To be called Temper So Tired Mc Gee Barb. Y Hair cuts. Diamond ring 'Because Diggie QBANGSJ My Middle Name Class ring Far Away Places Mert English Fingernails All the things 7 Dago e you are.f' Running out of Plymouth Y ou were only Howie gas. fooling. - Conceited Grades Ebony Rhapsody Lulu people. Cracking of Crosley Cindy Kink gum. To be called Laugh My Darling Mae Baby . Arguing Good Humor One Sunday Squeaky e Afternoon. Jeepie's pass- Jeepie I got plenty of Press' engers. nothing. Being teased. Quietness Speak Low Bernie Baby Doll Brothers and Temptation Melodie Sisters People who Model air- SLOW Boat to Nick a rgue . plane s. China. ' ' V Buzz Guns Nancy with the Virgie A Laughing Face. Slow Drivers Curly Hair Missouri Waltz Curly Large assign- Dimples Beg Your Pardon Speedy ments. Lazy people, Panda Stardust Tut Someone bossing Little red Y ou Do Peg me. QALLIEJ jeep. Literature Miss Kemp, our Blue Room The Noisest sponsor.