Jefferson Township High School - Criterion Yearbook (New Paris, OH)

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CHEMIST RY CLASS Sing a song of sulphide, beaker full of lime, Four and twenty test tubes breaking all the time. When the cork is taken out, Fumes begin to reek, lsn't that an awful mess To have five times a week. SMILES It's easy to wear a smile When life is a piece of cake, But the boy worthwhile Is the boy who can smile When he feels his suspenders break. E A KISS A kissis a noun, because it is both common and proper, A kiss is a pronoun, because she stands for it. A kiss is a verb, because it is either active or passiveg A kiss is an adverb, because it modifies the art. A kiss is an interjection because it shows strong and sudden feelingg A kiss is a conjunction because it con- nects. DEFINITION A jitterbug is not an insect but a hu- man being acting like one. GOING WEST The great big beautiful car drew up to the curb where Betty West was Waiting for a bus, and a gentleman stuck his head out the window and said. Hello, I'm driving west. How wonderful, said Betty. Bring me back an orange. LONG AND SHORT A good letter, like a woman's skirt, should be long enough to cover the sub- ject and short enough to create interest. EASY GOING Mr. Smith: Son who is this wild wo- man you're running around with? Allie: Aw, dad, she ain't wild. Any- body can pet her. No wonder the little duckling Wears on his face a frowng For he has just now discovered His first pair of pants are down. RULE NO. l Early to bed and early to rise, And you'l1 never show red in the whites of your eyes. GOOD AND BAD The good we learn at mother's knee. The bad at other joints. TREES Trees are so undependable-a tree will stand in place for years, then suddenly jumps out in front of a car. TEA PARTY I gave a swanky tea party One afternoon at three. It was very small. just three in allg I, Myself, and me. Myself ate all the sandwiches: I drank up all the tea, It was also Ig who ate the pie And passed the cake to me. GIRLS Courtship: Period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do better, HOW TRUE, HOW TRUE A fellow was dragged from his wrecked car and taken to a near-by house. I can't help you, said the householder, I'm not an M. D., but a veterinarian. You're just the fellow for me, said the injured man, because I was a jack- ass to think I could do fifty, FOILED AGAIN A ragged tramp knocked on the door of a doctor's house. A lady came to the door Tramp: Could I have a pair of the doc tor's old pants? Lady: I don't think you want to wear them. Tramp: Why? Lady: Because l'm the doctor,

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WILLING CANDIDATES A young couple asked the parson to marry them immediately following the Sun- day morning service. When the time came the minister arose to say: Will those who wish to be united in holy bonds of matrimony please come forward? There was a great stir as 13 women and one man approached the alter. A REAL BLIND DATE jack: My girl told me last night that she didn't want to see me anyrnore. Bud: So, I guess you left then? jack: No, I turned out the lights. JUST MY LUCK He is my teacherg I shall not pass. He maketh me to go to the board. I-Ie compelleth me to write difficult problems. He maketh me to sit down for my class sake. Yea, though I study until mid- night I gain no knowledge. For my formulas sorely bother me. He giveth me F Surely factors and radicals Shall follow me all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in the A1- gebra class forever. FAILURE Roses are red Violets are blue, I copied your answer And I flunked too. ATTENTION FROM NOW ON UNTIL JUNE WE WILL HAVE ONLY ONE-HALF A DAY OF SCHOOL WEDNESDAY NIORNINGS. The other half will be on Wednesday after- noons. A POEM I'1l bet when you first started To read this you thought that it Was a poem. lsn't it funny how people go on Reading anyway when they know they are being fooled ?