Jefferson Township High School - Criterion Yearbook (New Paris, OH)

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GRIN AWHILE THAT ' 'NEW LOOK' ' Robert: You gonna wear the flowers Paul sentcha? jane: I wouldn't wear anything else. Robert: What! Wait till I tell Pa. HEAVEN BOUND Mr. johnson: Explain the law of Gravity. Allie: That's the law that says if you feel high the night before you gotta feel low the next day. THE OLD STORY Mr. Sanders: This is the fifth time you've been sent into my office this week, What have you to say? Bill: I'm certainly glad it's Friday. INFLATION Mr. Allen: When water changes to ice, what is the greatest change that takes p1ace? jenny: The price. LA ST W ORDS Nliss Kemp: In what battle did Gen- eral Wolfe, when hearing of victory, cry? I die happy. jack: I think it was his last battle. UPS AND DOWNS Be nice to people on the way up. You may meet them again on the way down. SENIOR MARKS We think that we shall never see An F as lovely as a.B A B whose rounded form is pressed Upon the records of the blessed: As F comes easily, and yet, it isn't easy to forget: F's are made by fools like me, But only God can make a Bee. BUBBLE-GUM The gum-chewing girls And the cud-chewing cow Are somewhatvalike, Yet different somehow, And what is the difference? I think I know now-- It's that clear thoughtful look On the face of the cow, THE WRONG WOMAN Blondes were invented to preventmar- ried life from running too smoothly, WELL SET Last night I sat upon a chair A little chair that wasn't there. It wasn't there again today But I can't sit down anyway, CRAZY CRAFT Since Kilroy has been here, the poor little moron hasn't had a chance. But have you all heard about the little moron who ate uranium and got atomic ache? NEW METHOD Little Billy was sent out to bring in the kittens. His father, hearing a shrillme- owing, called out: Don'thurt the kittens, Billy. I won't, Billy said. I'm carrying them by their stems. CATTINESS Miriam: I saw Betty yesterday and we had the loveliest chat. jane: I thought so. She wouldn't sp- eak to me today. NOT NOW Mr. Kemper: Why don't you get out and find a job? When I was your agel was working for S5 a week in a shop, and at the end of five years I owned the X shop. ' s Bud: You can't do that nowadays.They have cash registers.

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CHEMIST RY CLASS Sing a song of sulphide, beaker full of lime, Four and twenty test tubes breaking all the time. When the cork is taken out, Fumes begin to reek, lsn't that an awful mess To have five times a week. SMILES It's easy to wear a smile When life is a piece of cake, But the boy worthwhile Is the boy who can smile When he feels his suspenders break. E A KISS A kissis a noun, because it is both common and proper, A kiss is a pronoun, because she stands for it. A kiss is a verb, because it is either active or passiveg A kiss is an adverb, because it modifies the art. A kiss is an interjection because it shows strong and sudden feelingg A kiss is a conjunction because it con- nects. DEFINITION A jitterbug is not an insect but a hu- man being acting like one. GOING WEST The great big beautiful car drew up to the curb where Betty West was Waiting for a bus, and a gentleman stuck his head out the window and said. Hello, I'm driving west. How wonderful, said Betty. Bring me back an orange. LONG AND SHORT A good letter, like a woman's skirt, should be long enough to cover the sub- ject and short enough to create interest. EASY GOING Mr. Smith: Son who is this wild wo- man you're running around with? Allie: Aw, dad, she ain't wild. Any- body can pet her. No wonder the little duckling Wears on his face a frowng For he has just now discovered His first pair of pants are down. RULE NO. l Early to bed and early to rise, And you'l1 never show red in the whites of your eyes. GOOD AND BAD The good we learn at mother's knee. The bad at other joints. TREES Trees are so undependable-a tree will stand in place for years, then suddenly jumps out in front of a car. TEA PARTY I gave a swanky tea party One afternoon at three. It was very small. just three in allg I, Myself, and me. Myself ate all the sandwiches: I drank up all the tea, It was also Ig who ate the pie And passed the cake to me. GIRLS Courtship: Period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do better, HOW TRUE, HOW TRUE A fellow was dragged from his wrecked car and taken to a near-by house. I can't help you, said the householder, I'm not an M. D., but a veterinarian. You're just the fellow for me, said the injured man, because I was a jack- ass to think I could do fifty, FOILED AGAIN A ragged tramp knocked on the door of a doctor's house. A lady came to the door Tramp: Could I have a pair of the doc tor's old pants? Lady: I don't think you want to wear them. Tramp: Why? Lady: Because l'm the doctor,