Jefferson Junior High School - Jeffersonian Yearbook (Minneapolis, MN)

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Monday, 7, 1926 The Jeffersonian Page 11 The Loud Speaker Yet the East Claims to be Ahead It seems that a young bride, tuning in on the daily cooking lesson from the Minneapolis-St. Paul station, got herself all tangled up with the daily dozen from W. L. W., Cincinnati, which is only six meters away, and this is the report she was able to hand to her husband when he ca ne home for dinner. “Hands on hips, place one cup of flour on the shoulder, raise knee, depress toes, and wash thoroughly in one half cup of milk. In four counts raise and lower left foot and mash two hard-boiled eggs through a sieve. Repeat six times, inhale one-half teaspoon salt, one teaspoon baking powder and one cup of flour. Then, breathing naturally, exhale and s;ft. Attention. Jump to a squatting position of quick 1 me. Twist sideways and forward left and right as far as possible and beat eggs swiftly and briskly, arms forward over head. Raise the cooked eggs with flour in four counts and make stiff dough, which is stretched at the waist. Thighs flexed, lie flat on the floor and roll into marbles the size of a walnut. Hop to a straddle in boiling water but do not boil at a gallon. After 10 minutes remove and wipe with a rough towel and serve with fish soup. The Minneapolis Journal Leonard Nelson: “George, have you ever been in an accident? George Shama: “No, but I’ve refereed a basketball game. BUG HOUSE FABLES Gym. classes play every day. No “homework is ever assigned. The height of hard luck in Grand-dad’s days: ‘To get a haircut just before an Indian massacre. Jim Williams: “Sssshhhhh, they sleep!” Jack Price: “Who sleep? Jim Williams: “My feet. Myron P. (to old negro): “So you remember way back to the Revolution, do you? Sambo: “Yassa. De Revolution and Gen’l Washington an’ all them.” M. P.: “Perhaps you were a witness of the fall of Rome? Sambo: “Nossa, Ah didn’t ex-ctJy see it, but Ah recollect 'nearin’ somethin’ drop. Helen Millman (excitedly): Oh, Miss Purdy! did you know that there were two men in the library ? Miss Purdy: No! Who? Helen: . Wight-man and Lyman. “Now I understand why these ‘hot house flowers’ must take reducing exercises: they do not have the benefit of going to school. Yesterday I wore my hikemeter all day. I found that without purposely exaggerating my mileage in the least, I had walked fifteen miles, one-half of which was done in the school building. Richard Whitely—101— (after distilling water to which materials had been added)—We drank it to prove it was pure. Traffic officers are never on duty. Lessons are always excellent Lost articles are always found and returned. Halls are always quiet and clean. Ink wells never tip over. Seven B’s never get lost when they first arrive. There are always short lines at dri iking fountains when you are thristy. Teachers never scold. Lunch lines are never long. Waiter: Has your order been taken ? Elmer Dahlin: Yeah, and so has Bunker Hill. George Shama: What does Ed. Conklin do with that loud red tie of his? Irving Dunsmore: He wears it during Latin. When his head falls down on his chest, the tie wakes him up again. “This is what I call a clean get away, said Jack Price, as he left the Turkish bath without paying. Student in Mr. Haugen’s C. L. P. class: In the census, under which of the nine heads of occupations does fishing for diamonds belong?

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Page 10 The Jeffersonian Monday, June 7, 1926 THE ORIGIN OF THE PITCHER PLANT Margaret Holmboe A long time age there lived near the headwaters of the Mississippi an individual named Camouflage who, through his pleasing exterior, masked his truly cunning and grasping nature. In spite of his selfish character he prospered, by taking advantage of those who trusted in his supposed goodness. The gods being displeased with his mean disposition decided to punish him. One day while sitting in his cottage brooding over a new evil plan. Camouflage heard a knock at the door. Assuming his usual benevolent smile he opened the door and beheld a stranger whom he bade enter. The stranger told him that he had hidden a valuable treasure in a tamarack swamp not far away. He informed him where the bog was and requested Camouflage to guard it until his return. After warning him not to seek the treasure the stranger bade his host good-day. The temptation was too great and so following his natural inclinations Camouflage gleefully set out to possess the treasure. He went where the stranger had directed and arriving at the bog, he eagerly plunged in. His avaricious desire led him deeper and deeper in until he suddenly realized he was lost. In his terror he turned, only to find himself sinking into the bottomless quagmire. After a futile struggle he disappeared and in his place a brilliant plant sprang u.). This flower marking the grave of Camouflage was our first pitcher plant. The gods ordained that this plant should retain the characteristics of the being it sprung from. SYMPHONY AND JAZZ Laura Hughes Once upon a time there were two lovers, Jazz and Symphony. There was a feud between the two families, and Dirge, Symphony’s father, was bound to kill Jazz. The feud also made it hard for the lovers to meet often. Jazz decided that things could not go on as they were. He and Symphony would run away and be married. They agreed upon a grove outside the town gates for a meeting place. At the appointed time. Symphony slipped out of the town, and into the dark, silent grove. The wind wh stled mournfully in the tree tops, and Symphony was frightened. Ther. Jazz appeared in the d'stance running breathlessly. Behind him were heard the shouts and cries of Dirge and his friends. Suddenly a shot rang out, and Jazz staggered and fell dead to the ground. Dirge was v'ctori-ous. With a stifled cry Symphony turned and ran. She fled into the country, running blind-y, where, she did not know. It seemed that she had run for hours and miles, when throwing herself on the ground, she wept bitterly. The wind, seeing her anguish, and pitying her, took her up, and carried her into the sky. She became a beautiful skylark, ever flying almo-t up to the very heavens, and singing to her lover. Just as Camouflage attracted the people by his affable appearance and afterwards took advantage of them, so the pitcher plants attract the insects by their beautiful coloring and consume them in their pitcher like leaves. Thus this be iutiful but carnivorous plant was originated o be mtify our Minnesota swamps and bogs. DIARIES AND THE FAMILY Katherine Osburne A diary is a book in which your private feelings and affair i may be recorded. Almost every girl keeps one. It is wise to keep your diary locked up in some drawer; especially if your family is inquisitive. If you have a brother or a sister, write something in your diary about them so they will see it when they read it. It is also a good idea to read their diaries, so that you are avenged beforehand. When a family is of an exceptionally curious nature, the diary should be written in a code. If this i» done, be careful not to leave the eynote on the first page. Most girls write on their diaries “Burn this when I die.” However, they usually burn them of the;r own a?cord before they die. This is a good illustration of the trust we have in our relatives. It ’8 a customary thing to write certain threats and inscriptions on the front cover. “Not open to the public view'.” “Read at your own risk,” “Leave your name and address,” and others are equally appropriate. If necessary write a personal letter to the family on the first ) ge. It may serve as a warning, a threat, a welcome, or a wartime address. Some girls keep two diaries. One is for the family to read, and the other is strictly confidential. If managed properly, it works. However, it is not easy to deceive a family. If you have brothers or sisters, you cannot deceive them as they are doing the same thing. If there are more than eight members in the family, it is not wise to keep a diary. Too much handling is injurious to the book, and your relatives become too well acquainted with you.

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The Jeffersonian Page 12 Monday, June 7, 1926 HAND BOOK A VISIT TO THE UNDER-WORLD WJmton Sanger I am dead. My spirit wrote this. In the year 1926 Hermes led me down the dark and perilous passage to the fields of asphodel where the tired and worn out spirits of men dwell. It is now 1980, exactly sixty-four years since I died. Since that time my class companions of the June Class of the year 1926 have been gradually joining me. I remember that in the “J6” English classes we studied Homer’s Odyssey. When my companions arrived in Pluto’s kingdom, they were somewhat surprised to learn that the spirit of Homer is as active here as he was on earth. We have a spirit lodge where we pass our weary time. It is called the Jefferson J6 Lodge of the year 1926. Once a month the spirit bard Homer sings and tells us of the mortal past. Homer is one of the few spirits that is allowed to know what is happening on earth. The last time he came he amused us, as is his wont, by giving us epithets as wre entered. Said he, “Leo Nedoff, that heavenly gift to the gum companies, mayhaps when you know that England has a monopoly on the rubber industry you will be happy that you have your imaginary gum! You, Elizabeth Baxter, the ‘A’ girl, were you on earth you would now find it much easier to get your ‘A’s’ because they study now with radio ear power.” Towards a group of shades in commotion he glanced, saying. “Pauline Kantrowitz, continual arguer, whom do you disagree with now? To the opposite entrance he turned, addressing thus, “John Olmstead, little boy of toys, what childish apparatus have you now?” As numerous papers and scraps began to blow across the room from some carelessly kept desk. Homer laughingly called for George Andrews, litterer of books and desks. At this a burst of laughter was heard. Frowm-ing, Homer cried out, “Edwin Conklin, easy of mirth, do you still laugh so heartily and loud?” C. F. New students entering Jefferson are not familiar with the building and have many other problems that arise during the first few weeks of the semester. For this reason, the “President’s Council ” suggested issuing a hand book for the convenience of the new Jeffersonians. Mr. Sifert appointed an executive committee consisting of five members, namely: Forest Pester, Chairman, Beverly Bunn, Camillus Fitzgerald, Mary Burnet, and Adele Wurdeman. The committee expects to have this hand book printed by next September, ready for the use of the new students. Three groups of students have made the Jeffersonian a success, the staff, the mechanical staff, and the loyal subscribers. I wish to thank these people for the splendid cooperation I have received. J. L. McRae, Instructor of Printing “Blah, blah, blah!” “Ah!” said the bard, “that must be Bob Woodruff, endless everlasting discourser.” “Someone stole it or I might have lost it,” cried a voice, probably Victoria Thompson, incredulous loser. “You lost it!” mocked Homer. ““Fine!” quoth the poet as Eleanor Mickelson, teller of humorous stories, related a joke. “Jack Gleason, beloved by the maids, pray tell us the secret of vour charms,” sang the bard in light humor. “Dorothy Cutler, sad and downhearted of face, is there nothing that can make you laugh or smile?” Even Dorothy’s face broke into a broad smile at this sally, and we spirits, quite happy and satisfied, returned each to our own shadowed abode. PARENT TEACHERS’ MEET The social meeting of the Parent-Teacher Association, on May 17, was the closing program of the year. The following program was given: Song by 8A chorus. Song by 8th and 9th grade chorus. Violin duet by Elliot Hoffman and Harry Bertelsen. Selection by the Orchestra. Song by the Boys’ Glee Club. Following the music program, Mr. Giddings gave a talk on his favorite topic, Music. He told us of the educational value of music; and how careful teachers must be when teaching vocal music in the Junior High School. Then he spoke of instrumental music. He said that if he had several hundreds of thousands dollars, he knew exactly how he would spend it. It would go toward school-owned instruments, including a pipe organ. In this way the orchestra would be made a balanced one, and more students would be able to belong to the orchestra. Between two numbers of the program, Miss Wisely explained how unbalanced our orchestra is and how badly it needs new instruments. She announced the Benefit Program of June 10 and appealed to the mothers to aid in selling tickets. Then followed a short business meeting after which refreshments were served. Winners of the J’s. (Continued from page 1) Edward Hoye, Howard Jensen, Norman Jensen, Vernon Johnson, Elmer Lehman. How ml Meagher, Forest M’ckelson, Leonard Nelson, Hildur Paulson, Myron Paulson, Forest Pester, Jack Price, Herbert Rend, Charles Reif, Edwin Booth, Robert Sanders, Billy Scott, George Taylor, George Terp Alvie Wh:te Howard Wilcox, Wallace Williams, Clifford Wyeth, and Jerome Zalkind. The boys who received “J’s” because of winning the boys’ championship basketball tournament are: Edward Hoye, Kenneth McLaren, Leonard Nelson. Cecil Saunders, George Shama, and Carl Sodren.