Jefferson High School - Spectrum Yearbook (Portland, OR)

Text from Pages 1 - 182 of the 1920 volume:

on your next suit at our Upstairs Store Raleigh Building Sixth and Washington Suits and Overcoats $20 to $50 Alterations Free Fit Guaranteed Satisfaction or Your Money Back Jixa ilySEK 'AKE THE ELEVATOR 11'-SAVE 109 jjLIPSTATRS CLOTHIERS MngiiinManiapnieai'ABllBia: The Spectrum June, 1920 The Power of an Idea “There is surely no greater wisdom than well to time the beginnings an l onsets of things. ” Bacon— F. W. Woolworth conceived the idea of thrift—of the power of small sums— nickels and dimes. The idea resulted in one of the largest businesses in the world; it built the tallest building in the world, which remains a monument to the man and his idea. Every successful business began in a small way, and had for its foundation the idea of thrift. Your habits are now being formed. Consider the thrift idea, as have the nation's successful men. “My method of saving is simple but systematic,’’said one. “I set aside a fixed sum each month out of my income and regard that deposit as a debt to the bank that must be paid ” —Be thrifty. United States National Bank Sixth and Stark Under Government Supervision June, 1920 The Spectrum The Young Men’s Clothes Shop Washington at Sixth THE CANOE PICNIC would not be complete without the “refresh- ments.” And then you want thin chicken and lettuce sandwiches made of Holsum and American-Maid Bread. Log Cabin Baking Company Bakers of Holsum and American-Maid Bread McCargar, Bates Lively General Insurance and Surety Bonds Yeon Building, Portland, Oregon Main 168—A-2694 3 The Spectrum June, 1920 Unexcelled Faci Iities Unvarying Courtesy Absolute Safety Are accorded every customer We are seeking business on our record HIBERNIA COMMERCIAL AND SAVINGS BANK ri Th e Bank for Every bo dy99 FOURTH AND WASHINGTON STREETS PORTLAND, OREGON Open Saturday Evenings, 6:00 to 0:00 4 Cover Design Earl Ward Class Song, Etc . . .... 7 Dedication . .... 8 Members of June Class • . . . 10 Class Record. . . . . 37 The Class of June’20 Helen Lee Brown 38 Class Will . 39 Class Prophecy . 41 Literary . Kingdom of Self Pity . . . • Dorothy B. Boggess 49 The Girl of the Painting Eleanor Wells 53 At Crater Lake Harriet Macolm 59 To the Brook Ruth Harvey 52 To a Wild Flower Claire Wallace 57 A Tree Helen Lee Brown 61 Oh It's Good to he Young Helen Lee Brown 94 Mother . Claire Wallace 56 Editorial . . . . 66 School Notes . 69 The Spectre . 95 Hammer and Horn . . . 97 Geneololgy of Great People 99 From a Train Window Helen Lee Brown 104 Y‘s and Other YYY . . • « • 105 Athletics . . . • 111 Jokes . . • 115 Cartoons 120-132-146 The Spectrum June, 1920 To the Graduates: We extend our best wishes for a successful career. To the Undergraduates: We exhort steady prosecution of studies as the best foundation for success. To Everyone: We urge faithful endeavor in carrying out their respective duties as holding forth surest promise WE PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH €|J Young people who contemplate a mercantile career will welcome the big, broad opportunities this store offers to those who have the proper qualifications and desire to succeed. of success and Tut Quality Store op Portland fp) ‘Morritory Aider J 6 CLASS SONG Our Jefferson (To the tune of “Let the Rest of the World Go By”) Helen Lee I rown “We Are Soon to Depart is the song in each heart. As we’re working clay by day. We’ll say farewell to you. Our dear teachers true, For we're going far away. Chorus— So farewell to you. Oh school of gold and blue, We'll leave to the Seniors new— and Freshmen, too. For we have had four years of fun, Xow our work and play is done. We’ll never forget the friends we have met. Although we’ll leave them all for new. We’ll keep our hearts clean and true. Through whate’er we may do— Our own dear Jefferson High—for you. Xow our school life is done And another's begun. Leading where we never know. We’ve resolved through our life. Through our struggles and strife, To he true where’er we go. Chorus — Class Motto—“Honors Wait at Labor's Gate.” Class Flowers—Pink rosebuds tied with silver ribbon. Class Colors—Pink and Silver. 7 TO MR. JENKINS WHO HAS BEEN OUR LEADER AND COMRADE DURING THE WHOLE HIGH SCHOOL COURSE WE, THE CLASS OE JUNE TWENTY HEREBY DEDICATE THIS ISSUE 8 H () P K I N JENKINS PRINCIPAL Harold Brown Scientific Course Class President—PS Delta Epsilon —Fire Squad—Hi Y—Technical Club—J Club—Class Play— Usher Corps—Athletics— Orchestra-Glee Club—Yell leader—Live Wire—Inter-Class Debate—Spectrum Solicitor Gloria Coi.linson English Course Class Secretary—Zcta Delta Sigma—Live Wire Selma Lillian Wetteland English Course Vice-President of Class— Secretary of Zeta Delta Sigma Fall ’19—Live Wire—Camera Club John Hendricks Special Course Class Treasurer—Pi Delta Epsilon —Fire Squad—Hi Y—Athletics— Inter-Class Debating Team I. Ambrose Murphy Manual Training Course ('lass Sergeant at Arms— Treasurer of Pi Delta Epsilon S ’20— Hi Y—Glee Club- Technical Club Mildred Hall College Preparatory Course Editor of Class Spectrum- eta Delta Sigma—Live Wire—Editor of Spectrum Fall ’19—Inter- Class Debating Team Earl Ward Manual Training Course Associate Editor of Spectrum— Pi Delta Epsilon—-Fire Squad— Glee Club—Spanish Club— Camera Club—Secretary of Technical Club S ’18 James W. Lively Manual Training Course Spectrum Business Manager— Vice-President of Pi Delta Epsilon S ’18— Fire Squad— President of Live Wires F T9— Secretary and Treasurer of Ili Y F ’19 and President S 20—J Club—-Athletics—President of Technical Club S ’19—Spectrum Solicitor Class Play Louis N. Chambreau Commercial Course Athletics Howard F. Palmer College Preparatory Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Technical Club —Athletics—Usher Corps Vivian Feike College Preparatory Course Glee Club Dorothy B. Boggess College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Spectrum Stiff—Class Spectrum Staff Thelma Hill College Preparatory Course Glee Club Myron Harrison Goodell Manual Training Course Live Wire—J Club—Spanish Club—Athletics—Technical Club Francis H. Greer Scientific Course Fire Squad—Live Wire— Technical Club—Athletics—Glee Club—German Club ’17 Miriam Fox Domestic Art Course Tri L—Lonapc’s Waltkr E. Holman Manual Training Course Secretary of Pi Delta Kpsilon Spring 2C—Live Wire- Hi Y— Glee Club—Camera Club- Athletics—Sec.-Treas of Technical Club ’19, President ’20 Alice Reynolds College Preparatory Course eta Delta Sigma—Live Wire— Glee C lub Jessie Merriss French Course Live Wire Truth 'Ferry English Course Live Wire—Orchestra Robert Adams English Course Live Wire—Fire Squad Helen Lee Brown College Preparatory Course Cjass Poet— eta Delta Sigma— Live Wire—Glee Club-—Spectrum Staff—Class Spectrum Staff— Class Play Cast Louise Ross English Course From Lake View High School, Chicago Harry A. Arnold College Preparatory Course Live Wire—Pi Delta Epsilon— Athletics—Inter-Class Debates Kenneth A. Meserve College Preparatory Course Live Wire—Pi Delta Epsilon- Fire Squad Jessie McDonald • College Preparatory Course President of Zeta Delta Sigmas —Live Wire—Vice-President of Dramatic Club ’20—Inter-Class Debate Thelma Beatrice Eddy Language Course Spanish Club Lowell Beckendorf College Preparatory Course Live Wire—Glee Club—Camera Club—Technical Club—Usher Corps Tim E. Colvin College Preparatory Course Captain of Fire Squad for two years—Live Wire—Hi Y—J Club —Glee Club—Spanish Club— Athletics Anna Meagher College Preparatory Course Orchestra Christian Kisky College Preparatory Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Treasurer of Live Wire ’20—Sgt. at Arms of Hi Y’s '20—President Boys Glee Club ’17, ’19 and '20—Camera Club—Usher Corps Doris Lake College Preparatory Course Xela Delta Sigma Margaret Mett French Course Francis J. Billups College Preparatory Course Class Spectrum Staff Alden Ben net Latin Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Fire Squad— Glee Club—Athletics M ARGAR ET WESTGATE College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Class Play Cast William J. Braun Commercial Course Live W ire -Spanish Club- Technical Clu fc—-() rc h c st ra Joseph Weiskk Scientific Course Fire Squad—Spanish Club— President Camera Club ’20— Athletics—Technical Club— Spectrum Staf—Class Spectrum Staff -Usher Corps Laura Spall College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Tri L’s— (Ilee Club Mildred Syferd Stenographic Course Allen G. Frisbee College Preparatory Course Alwix H. Streng Scientific Course Camera Club—Athletics Christel L. Nickels College Preparatory Course Emma Thom a College Preparatory Course Alice Shrogen Stenographic Course Spanish Club Elsie E. Morris Teachers’ Training Course Mildred Pierce Commercial Course May Redman Teachers’ Training Course Vice-President of Xaemphi S ’20 Ruth Nixon Teachers’ Training Course X aem ph i—O rc h est ra—H orae Economics Club Annie Gladys Hicks College Preparatory Course Tri L’s—Orchestra Lewis C. Coulter English Course President Live Wires ’19—Ili Y —J Club—Athletics Harold Hart College Preparatory Course Pi Delta Epsilon Fanchon Helen Lamoreaux Stenographic Course Ellen Josephine Murray Stenographic Course George Edward Moore English and Latin Course Wilmer George West Scientific Course Fire Squad—Vice-Pres Glee Club ’19—Spanish Club—Technical Club—Camera Club—Usher Corps Esther Rosamond Wright Teachers’ Training Course Naemphi Dorothy Mabel Miller Domestic Science Course La Verne Pratt Scientific Course Weiser, Idaho Doris Warlen Stenographic Course Gertrude Taylor Domestic Science Course Helen Smith English Course Arthur Lynn Commercial Course Live Wire Ruth Frances Harvey Domestic Science Course Rodney R. Langlois English Course Sergeant at Arms of Spanish Club S ’20 Janet Ettinger College Preparatory Course Elea nor Woodvv ard French Course Wylie W. Blaney College Preparatory Course Live Wire—Spanish Club— Camera Club—Athletics—(Mass Spectrum Staff—Class Play— I slier Corps Francis Drinker College Preparatory Course Technical Club Margaret Mathisen English Course Live Wire Ruby Lloyd College Preparatory Course Glee Club—Orchestra Kather i n e W i lcox English Course [.ive Wire Dyke White Manual Training Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Fire Squad— Live Wire—Technical Club- - Usher Corps Helen Carmen English Course Live Wire Mary Alexander French Course Live Wire—Vice-President of Camera Club ’jo Marjori e Englehart English Course Live Wire Homer Gerald Hi dwell College Preparatory Course I‘ire Squad—Live Wire— Athletics—'Technical Club—■ Evelyn Kissel Teachers’ Training Course Xaemphi—Orchestra—Glee Club Claire D. Wallace English Course Vice-Pres. of Pi Delta Epsilon S 20—Fourth Battalion Chief S 2c —Technical Club—tHi Y—Class Play—U S Navy May, 1918, tc September, 1919 Edward Gwilym Rees English Course Fire Squad—Athletics—Tcchnica Club—Usher Corps Christine Johns Teachers’ Training Course Editor of Naemphi S 20 Gladys Welch Commercial Course James H. Graham Scientific Course Athletics Norman 1). Youmans English Course Live Wires—Athletics—Fire Squad—Usher Corps—J Club— Spectrum Staff Gladys Benson College Preparatory Course Tri L's Fave Loreene Crawford College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Glee Club Harry W. Blizard Commercial Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Glee Club Elinor M. Back man College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Glee Club Harriet Marion Malcolm Bookkeeping Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Live Wire— Tri L’s Lucile Ward College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Tri L’s— Glee Club—Spectrum Staff— Class Spectrum Staff Edward Wigiitman Scientific Course Technical Club—Orchestra Dorothy Lacy Domestic Science Course Edward Grite Scientific Course Gibson Bowles College Preparatory Course I'i Delta Epsilon Assistant Chief of Fire Squad ’20—Ili Y— Camera Club—Technical Club— Inter-Class Debate Van eta Lam pert Domestic Science Course Donna Flemini; Stenographic Course Merle Custer English Course Pi Delta Epsilon—Spanish Club Arnold Theodore Mayhack English Course Lillian C. Hendricksen College Preparatory Course Florence Evans Teachers Training Course Tri L’s—Kan-a-da-ka Tam aka Fukuda College Preparatory Course Tri L Dorothy Catherine Saykr College Preparatory Course Spanish Club Mi xik M. Kirkpatrick Domestic Science Course Ruby Gilsox Teachers’ Training Course Treasurer of Xacmphi S '2o Florence E. Anderson Teachers’ Training Course Xacmphi Veronica Margaret Dolan Stenographic Course Tri L’s Vivian Lansworth Teachers’ Training Course Charles Layton English Course Live Wire—Glee Club—Camera Club—Treasurer of Dramatics Club S 20—Class Play Chauncey B. Wightman Scientific Course Elizabeth I. Moore Domestic Science Course Tri L’s Helen Jean MacLeod College Preparatory Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Glee Club Palmer Miller Scientific Course Glee Club—Dramatic Club— Scientific Club George Williams College Preparatory Course Fire Squad—Spanish Club— Usher Corps Pauline Dick Spanish Course Vice-President of Spanish Club ’20 Raeford Bailey College Preparatory Course Fire Squad—Camera Club- Spectrum Staff—Class Spectrum Staff—Class Play Cast Alta Chenowith Special Course Helen Tut hill College Preparatory Course Eleanor Wells English Course eta Sigma Delta—Class Play Lawrence R. Payne Commercial Course President of Pi Delta Epsilon ’20 —Fire Squad—Hi Y—Glee Club Anna Olive Jackson Teachers’ Training Course Nacmphi Emily Bergen Teachers’ Training Course Zeta Delta Sigma—Inter-Class 1)ebates Albert C. Grilley Scientific Course I’i Delta Epsilon—Fire Squad— Hi Y—Camera Club—Athletics— Technical Club—Usher Corps E. Thomas Murton English Course Agnes Vera Payton Domestic Science Course Ruby Carlson Stenographic Course El wood W. Harrison Commercial Course Technical Club Alrick 1). Magnuson Commercial Course Chief of Fire Squad—Technical. Club—Hi Y Kathryn S. Xelsox English Course KE N X ET II M CIX TOS H English Course Pi Delta Epsilon Theresa M. Vouxg College Preparatory Course Florexce L. Court English Course Glee Club Tyyxe Elizabeth Exquist English Course Tri L’s—Glee Club—Lanape’s Samuel S. White College Preparatory Course Spanish Club—Camera Club— Technical Club—Orchestra Louise W. Wextz Teachers’ Training Course Kana-da-ka—Orchestra Franklin A. Strohecker Language Course Fire Squad—-Live Wire— Orchestra Ernest Hammann Manual Training Course Sergeant at Arms of Technical Club—Athletics S '20 Thelma Maxie Mu mm a College Preparatory Course Joyce Welch Teachers’ Training Course Naemphi Ralph Griffith Geisy English Course Sergeant at Arms S ’20—Pi Delta Epsilon—Technical Club President 19—Hi Y—Vicc-Pres. S 20—Fire Squad David Summers Rusted College Preparatory Course Live Wire—-Athletics—Technical Club Frances Rachel Court English Course Ivah Louise Ahrendt Commercial Course Ralph Jenning Latin Course Glee Club—Orchestra Flor E NCE WA LLING Domestic Science Course Home Economics Club Charlotte M. Schwichtenberg College Preparatory Course Glee Club Isabella Blair English Course B. Emmet McCaffery College Preparatory Course Loreta Burr Teachers’ Training Course Evan Lapham French Course Editor of Spectrum S 20— Camera Club Harry G. Ahrkns Commercial Course Orchestra La VERN A S PITZE N BERGER College Preparatory Course Cimera Club Virginia Ingman Stenographic Course Live Wire O. Kenneth Robinson English Course John II. Reisacker College Preparatory Course Orchestra—Glee Club—Class I May—Dramatic Club Dorothy Wenzel College Preparatory Course Zita Delta Sigma—Glee Club AI ARI K T. I I AGENSEN Stenographic Course Orchestra Harold L. Cummings Scientific Course Pi Delta Epsilon- Eire Squad Mabel Manson Domestic Science Course Zeta Delta Sigma Carrie Grant College Preparatory Course Pearl Charlotte Pease Bookkeeping Course Claude C. Gunning Scientific Course Margaret Plock Teachers’ Training Course Xaemphi—Glee Club The Class of June I went Margaret Ruth Nelson English Course Glee Club Oscar White Richards Scientific Course Fire Squad—Hi Y—Camera Club —Technical Club—Usher Corps Gerald G. Ramsey English Course Technical Club—Usher Corps Alice Schmidt College Preparatory Course Tri-L’s Helen M. Baker Scientific Course Randall S. Parker Comniercial Course Leslie Earle Sweaney Language Course Spanish Club Helen Marie Van der mast English Course Tri L’s Raymond Nelson College Preparatory Course Gladys Mori an Teachers’ Training Course Naemphi—Camera Club Bertha Emily Senn Stenographic Course Glee Club Isa Lloyd Upson Special Course William Irving Mealy Manual Training Course Live Wire—J Club—Glee Club- Camera Club—Technical Club Ruth Bjork Stenographic Course ( Dorothy Blyberg Language Course Secretary of Tri L’s S ’19 Donald W. Buck man English Course Technical Club—-Captain of Fire Squad ’19 and ’20—Over Seas Service Alvina Roth Stenographic Course enf September 20, 1919—After much electioneering the class was organized. The officers elected were: Harold Brown, president: Selma Wettland, vice president: Gloria Collinson. secretary: Jack Hendricks, treasurer; and Ambrose Murphy, sergeant-at-arms. September 30, 19 9—We select Salmon Pink and Silver as class colors. October 1, 1919—Get together party. Of course we had a good time. October 7, 1919—We decide to start a fund for tablet in memory of Jefferson’s service men. October 10, 1919—Clean Up Day. Everything was clean so we enjoyed ourselves. Nov ember 12, 1919—June Class decides to declare war on H. C. of L. by sponsoring old clothes movement at Jefferson. December 12, 1919—January Class entertains us royally with a dance. January 7, 1920—We selected our Class Motto: “Honors Wait at Labor's Gate.’, February 13, 1920—County Fair. The June Class proves to the world that old heads can rest on young shoulders by making $120, clear, in one afternoon. March 16, 1920—The Class Play is decided upon. After much debating and many exciting meetings, “You Xever Can Tell,” by Bernard Shaw, is chosen. March 26, 1920—June-January Dance. Another good time for all. April 26, 920—Class Flowers, pink rosebuds tied with silver ribbon, are chosen. May 10, 1920—Class Day. A never-to-be-forgotten day. May 21, 22, 1920—A Class I day that rivaled Sarah Bernhardt’s most lavish production. We vow everlasting gratefulness to Miss Greathouse for her untiring assistance. June 11, 1920—Graduation Night, at last! Another milestone in life’s journey. It seems only yesterday that we sat in that very auditorium, tightly clasping our precious grammar school diplomas. June 12, 1920—The most wonderful Senior Prom ever staged at Jefferson. Even the chaperons enjoyed it. 37 The Spectrum June, 1920 The Class of June’20 Helen Lee Brown ERE’S to the school of blue and gold With its teachers tried and true. Here’s to the friends we leave behind— To the ones who are all true-blue. Here’s to the man whom we all respect— To our principal—may he be Blest with the rest of the class that's best. The class of June ’20. 38 We, the June ’20 Class of Jefferson High School, Port- land, Oregon, knowing that life is about to expire, having thru these four preceding years retained our sound mind, good judgment and memory, do hereby make, ordain, pub- lish and declare this to be our last will and testament, as follows: First: To Mr. Jenkins, our beloved Pilot, we as a class do hereby bequeath our gratitude for his splendid leader- ship and kindly services rendered us, and our sincere hope that with the earnest co-operation of the student body all his ambitions for the future of the school may he realized. Second: We bequeath to our dear faculty, tried sorely in body and soul, the pleasant memories of our pranks and renowned deeds and the privilege of doing unto succeeding graduating classes as they have done unto 11s. Third: We, the most famous June ’20 Class, leave to the now latent January ’21 Class the respect of the Fresh- men, the right to occupy the alluring halls at all times in the day, the knack of acquiring detained slips and the right to torment “Mack.” Fourth: The following would-be famous members of the June 20 Class, hereby named, do individually will as follows: I, Harold Brown, a most self-satisfied young man, leave my fluent use and knowledge of parliamentary law to Everett Taylor. I, Mildred Hall, do bequeath the trials and tribulations of being Class Editor, and mv gray hairs derived there- from, to the next mortal who has the misfortune to step into my boots. I, Ambrose Murphy, do bestow upon Lionel Clark my “Why-laugh-at-me” look. I, Gloria Collinson, leave my charm and magnetism to my little, unsophisticated sister. We, “Fat” Jennings and “Slim” Jacobs, will our differ- entiated figures to any other abnormal students upon whom the school sees fit to lavish its sense of humor. I, Selma Wetteland, leave my love for pretzels to anyone who can get them. 39 The Spectrum June. 1920 I, Franklin Strohecker, bestow upon any student, claim- ing to possess a good understanding, my number 141) shoes, handed down to me by my worthy brother, Samuel. I also request that he leave said footwear with the school, that the coming generation may remember and respect the grace with which all former owners have navigated in these heirlooms. I. Jessie McDonald, leave my j osition of being perma- nent hostess of the “Zeta Gossip Meetings to anyone who has a loud voice and commanding stare. I, Earl Ward, bequeath my “Boss of the Job Way to Joe Frazer. We, Frances Billups and Carrie Grant, reluctantly leave our studious habits to any student seeking the straight and narrow path to “knowledge. I, Harry Arnold, leave to Walter Malcolm my silver- tongued debating power. I, Dyke White, do hereby bequeath Miss Doris Lytle to the safe care and guidance of her teachers. We, Frenchy Youmans, Chuck Wright and Louis Coulter, leave our athletic fame and chest full of medals to the next famous trio of athletes. We, Ruby Lloyd and Dorothy Wenzel, bequeath our ability in “tickling the ivories to Hilda Blair. I. Jack Hendricks, bestow my persuasive money-getting power to Bruce Curry. I, Palmer Miller, leave my book on “The Art of Artless Criticism and Graceful Posture to any individual taking Oral English. We, the June '20 Class Orchestra, leave our position of taking the “Blue out of the Blue Monday to the next suf- fering generation of jazzy jazzers. We, the notorious Class Play Cast, leave our wonderful opportunity to show off our dramatic ability to those dra- matically inclined who have courage to try out for it and the divine delight of being selected. I, Alice Reynolds, leave my charming voice and dimples to June Smith. We, the girls of the June Basketball Team, leave behind 11s a reputation for Jefferson pep and overpowering ability. 1, Eleanor Woodward, will my gift of gab to the next gibby-gab. We, John Reisacker and Charles Layton, leave our dra- matic ability to Anita Davis. 40 • The House-Boat, Hades-on-the-Styx, June 18. 1936. My Dear Senator Wallace: My, my! How tempus does fugit! Ilerp 1 am away over here in a houseboat on the Styx river in Hades, and you still on earth. But as Dave llusted says “time and tide should never throw stones,” or something to that effect. Have you heard much of the old June '20 Jefferson High bunch? Some of them are in Hades—I know, because I've seen them here—but I've lost track of a great many. Gibson Bowles is making such a racket arguing with Demosthenes on the ethics of public speaking that I think I'll rent a row- boat and go where 1 can have more quiet. You know. Bowles turned out to he a great lawyer, but as soon as the public “got onto” his tricks—well. Bowles now resides in Hades. Irving Healy, Hades’ mail carrier (he was a mail carrier on earth and naturally fell in line for the job over here) just brought in an asbestos copy of “ The Hades Daily Blaze” with a lot of news from home. With what a light of universal recognition is Helen Brown, the beautiful poetess, lighting the world! And Mildred Hall, editor of the Xew York Times! I tell you, Wallace, it takes the old Jefferson stars to shine. I was considerably surprised to see that Eleanor Wells and John Reisacker have organized a stock company. And so many of the old familiar names in the chorus: Carrie Grant, Gertrude Taylor, Ruth Bjork, Mil- dred Syferd, Agnes Payton, Ruby Carlson, Donna Fleming, Anna Jackson. Florence Evans, Ruth Nelson, Tygne Enquist and Helen Baker—just thirteen. Eleanor and John always were strong on the lucky numbers. And 1 see that Albert Grillev and William Braun have engaged themselves as chaperons to the whole chorus. A1 and Bill always were strong on choruses, h nder the theater news, I also find that Selma Wetteland is on the Orpheum circuit. Here's luck to Selma! If you see her in the show give her my regards. And Christian Kisky in grand opera! I always maintained that Kisky would make a success in spite of his voice. And Catherine Wilcox, a world-famous prima donna! I repeat, it certainly takes an old Jefferson star to shine in the heavens of fame. A news item on the The Spectrum June, 1920 front page says that Rodney Langlois and Charles Layton have opened up an office in Chicago. They’re doctors. Here’s where Walter Holman gets some business. There is a big article about a great suit in the California courts— Colvin vs. Murphy. Ambrose Murphy claims that Tim Colvin, who is in the oil business, swindled him out of ten dollars and caused his stenographer, Thelma Eddy, to desert from his employ. “It is rumored” that he doesn't care about his stenographer but he does want that ten dollars. Murphy never was very appreciative—but let's give him the benefit of the doubt; Thelma probably broke too many pencils or pounded the typewriter too hard. This paper is certainly complete in its gleanings of the news of the mortal world. I see in the sporing section that Xorman Youmans and Louis Coulter are regular comets in the athletic firmament. Youmans won a Croix de Guerre in football on the Oswego team and Coulter, a Distinguished Service Cross playing for St. Johns. Kenneth Robinson is cartooning for the paper— blazing good cartoons, too. With Evan Lapham as editor, there is no reason why the “J laze” shouldn’t be the best daily in Hades. June 19th. I had to stop here last evening—had a call on the Ouija board from Pauline Dick. A person certainly does appre- ciate being remembered by those still on earth—even if we are immortal we have feelings. In fact our feelings are immortal, too. Pauline is a great suffragette, I understand, and has procured woman suffrage in the South Sea Islands. What a worker she is! She said that Myron Goodell was with her (you remember Mike, the famous gymnast, don't 42 June, 1920 The Spectrum you?) and wanted to know what we were doing over here. Sampson, who was standing nearby, suggested that I tell Mike he would find out when he got here. Sampson is anxious to meet Goodell since he has heard so much of his wonderful feats. I asked Pauline for any news of the old bunch, and she said that Mary Alexander, Ruth Nixon, May Redman and Florence Anderson have joined her in the woman suffrage movement. Mary and Ruth are working in Greenland with the Esquimaux, while May and Florence are campaigning somewhere else. I didn’t g£t just where —the Ouija slipped then. Jt is really interesting to hear some of the conversations among the members of the Associated Hades aboard the Houseboat. I just returned from a little stroll on the main deck where Sam White and Kenneth McIntosh are playing a game of shuffleboard on the port side with Caesar and Hamlet. 1 don’t see anything to that game, myself, but they were having a heated argument over it. It’s odd, though, how those characters, who at one time bore great responsi- bilities on earth, when they come across the Styx, take enjoyment from the most frivolous pleasures. For example, there's Napoleon and Wellington playing a game of twenty- one on the sewing table with Elwood Harrison and Oscar Richards; and there’s Gerald Ramsey beating Confucius at a game of Chinese checkers in the engine room, while Cicero and Carlyle look on interestedly. Nero, however, is nearly always at something serious—too serious, in fact, and painful at times—he’s up in the “crow’s nest” giving Dave Hlisted lessons on the fiddle. George Moore and I went over to see the Commissioners of Hades this morning about installing a Ouija Exchange 43 The Spectrum June, 1920 in the Houseboat, to lie run on the same principle as the mortal telephone. The Commissioners think it a good idea and I suspect we’ll get it. Will close for today. I think I'll go on a haunting trip to the earth tonight. June 1st. 1 got Randall Parker and Diogenes to go with me on a haunting trip the night before last. We came across quite a few of the old crowd, scattered out a good deal, though. It's fine to be able to travel as fast as we immortals can— we go anywhere in an instant, you know. We went to San Francisco first, and while walking up Market street, Diogenes suddenly stopped, lifted his lantern higher and exclaimed: “An honest man at last! He cried this as the glow of the lantern lighted up the face of a pedestrian, who proved to be none other than Homer Bidwell. “Yes,’ replied Bidwell, “J am an honest man—strictly.” At this Diogenes’ face fell, and he sighed. Another disappointment! Poor Dodgee is always being disappointed in his search for an honest man. He can tell intuitively, you see, whether or not one is telling the truth. Parker and I lost Diogenes in the after-theater crowd, so we went on alone. Passing Strohecker’s String Bean Cannery, and Gunning and Sweany’s Hair Tonic Factory, just past Mile. Lillian Hendrickson’s Toothpaste Emporium, we came upon Shakespeare (we didn’t know he was out haunting, too) absorbed in listening to Lucille Ward read over a play she had just written. Of course, she didn’t know to whose shade she was reading or she would have been terribly nervous. Pretty soon we met Wilmer West, Ellen Murray, James Graham, Laverna Spitzenberger, Alvin Streng, Mar- 44 June, 1 20 The Spectrum o-aret Westgate and Miriam Fox, all bound for a show to see Jacobs and Jennings, world famous pugilists,in the“movies.” Parker decided to go with them, so I went on haunting alone, heading east. In Nevada I passed through the cattle ranch belonging to Dorothy Blyberg and Harriet Malcolm, who, I understand, have gone into that business just to show the world that woman can herd cattle as well as man. (Take that either way you like). In Chicago. I noticed that the law office which Rudolph Hamman occupied before he went' into politics is now housing the firm of Johns and Upson. It’s queer how these modern women go in for masculine pursuits. There’s Theresa Young and Louise Ross in the Illinois Legislature, too. As to great public characters, who would have ever guessed back in 1920 that Harold Brown was to be President of the United States and Dyke White, Vice-President? They say that Brown had to fake his age a year to get it. though. I heard that in the 1940 election Jessie McDonald on the Democratic ticket and Truth Terry on the Republican ticket, are to run for the Presidency. They’re starting pretty early, but then I guess it will take a long time to elect a woman for President. Not that either Jessie or Truth wouldn't make a good President, but like all women they arc so change- able that they're apt to shift their platforms in the midst of the campaign. In a pretty little country town in Illinois, I saw irginia Ingman and Doris Warlen, the inseparable. They have settled down to quiet married life next door to each other, and are now sailing around in limousines at the expense of their wealthy (and handsome) husbands. June 25. This promises to be more of a diary than a letter, but I'll have to give Charon, the ferryman on the Styx, at least a box of candy to deliver this for me so I want to say everything I can, and get my money’s worth. I declare, the rules of this club are entirely too lax! When I came back from my haunting trip, I was delayed twenty minutes by Charon having to rescue a party which had the temerity to go canoeing on the Styx. 1 here were Raeford Bailey, Chauncev Wightman and James Lively, with Helen MacLeod, Doris Lake, Mildred Pierce, Margaret Mett, Iva Ahrendt, Frances Billups, and Dorothy Miller, with Queen Elizabeth and Portia chaperoning—all in one canoe. Of course they tipped over, and it was up to Charon and me to pull them out. The association ought not to allow canoeing on the Styx. Then there's the fire-gong. Alrick Magnusson is fire chief of Hades, and owing to climatic 45 The Spectrum June, 1920 conditions, the department is kept busy. Between times, either Magrmsson or Harry Blizard, assistant chief, is ring- ing for a practice drill. Blizard is warm for the first time, in I lades—as a mortal he was extremely cool. Wallace, you should have seen the fun the other day! Charon brought over a load of the old crowd: Elizabeth Moor, Helen Vandermost, Faye Crawford, Constance Mitchel, Veronica Dolar, Eleanor Bachman, Thelma Mum- ma, Ruth Harvey, Christelle Xickles, Evelyn Kissel, Vivian Lansworth, Ruby Lloyd, and Katherine Nelson (another thirteen), and he, poor fellow, had an awful time with his cargo. When they caught sight of Cerberus, the three- headed dog, they nearly sank the ferry! Cerberus raised a great fuss, barking with all three mouths at once, and it took the combined efforts of Sir Walter Raleigh, Darwin, and Sanford Anderson to quiet him, after which the girls went over to register at the Associated Shades' Ladies’ Annex. Yesterday, Marjorie Englehart, Dorothy Boggess, Emily Bergen, and Laura Spall came over. As a result Sir Walter Raleigh is in a quandary—he doesn’t know which one he likes best. The commissioners have given 11s our Ouija Exchange, and Margaret Block, as operator on this end, has established communication with the mortals—Fanchon Lamereaux, the little Irish ballet dancer, Bertha Senn, the noted chewing gum expert, Loretta Burr, Dorothy Sayer, Alice Schrogen. Francis Court, and other famous people. The Jefferson alumni on this end have received a number of messages from the earth. This morning Claude Kime called Alice Schrogen, and she gave him quite a bit of news: Jack Hendricks and Lawrence Payne have established a traveling 46 June, 1920 The Spectrum Chautauqua in foreign lands. I understand that they have obtained the services of Tamaka Fukuda, the Egyptian sorceress, Arnold Meybach, Louis Chambreau, Robert Adams, the world-famous juggler, Ralph Giesy, the great ventriloquist, llarrold Arnold, and others. Howard Palmer is also on the circuit, as the children’s story-teller, with William Pratt to turn the pages for him. Palmer got plenty of practice at Jefferson, I guess. Alice Schrogen told me that Kenneth Meserve is the minister to France, and Wylie Blaney, to Great Britain—from the United States, of course. I always knew that Kenneth and Wyjie were cut out for missionaries. he always does) “The Vicar of Wakefield ’ and rattled A moment ago Goldsmith came in reading (out loud, as me so that I lost my connection. 1 lowever. not before I had learned that Edward Grite and Emmet McCaffery, the great inventors, made a trip to Mars in their new space- flyer. And these adventurous women! The Misses Gladys Marion and Helen Smith, learned scientists, insisted on going along, and taking a crowd of friends—Franz Drinker, Dorothy Wenzel, Joyce Welch, Alden Bennett, Gvvilym Rees, Gladys Hicks, Merle Custer. Francis Greer. Minnie Kirkpatrick and Anna Meagher. Palmer Miller shipped as engineer, Edward Wightman as chief steward, John Nelson as pilot, and Joseph Weiser as official expedition pho- tographer. It must have been a regular reunion party. This morning the 1 lades baseball team played the ( haos nine for the Inter-Immortal Pennant. George Williams pitched, Tom Murton caught, while Lowell Beckendorff played short, on the Hades team. Arthur Lynn played on the Chaos nine, but they won in spite of him. I here was a crowd of the former Jefferson girls in our grandstand— I saw Alvinia Roth, Florence Court, Janet Ettinger. Vivian Feike, Ruby Gillson, Marie Hagenson, Thelma Hill, Mar- garet Mathisen and Jessie Merriss there, myself. And Mabel Manson yelled louder than anyone—she always was so noisy! June 26. Another interruption: Aristotle and Blackstone in an argument, and I was chosen to judge the relative merits of the case in question. Helen Carman, Isabella Blair, Margaret estgate, and Gladys Benson just came over with Charon, and they tell me that Gladys Welch, Charlotte Pease, Alice Schmidt, and Charlotte Schwicktenberg have established a philanthropic agency for aged dog-catchers. Good work for the girls! 47 The Spectrum June, 1920 And a great surprise: Harold Hart and Alice Reynolds married! To different people, of course, but married! I didn't think either Harold or Alice would do that, did you? I hear, too, that Esther Wright and Helen Tuthill are in the “movies,” while Eleanor Woodward, Louisa Wentz, Florence Walling and Emma Thoma are teaching art in a Chinese Futurist studio. Since this letter is assuming the proportions of a hook, I will close. And remember, Wallace, that as long as J remain in Hades, which will he for eternity, 1 shall he your warm friend. As ever, Earl C. Ward. 4S Kingdom of Self-Pity Dorothy I� . Boggess E LIVED alone in three little rooms over his shoe shop. People in the neighborhood thought him crazy and children were afraid to venture near the shop for his piercing black eyes and gruff manner offered little assurance to the timid. Mumbling and muttering to himself, he sat day after day mending shoes and patching soles for the people who were losing them. Xo person could boast of seeing a light in his room after seven o'clock except on one night every year. On this night, the twelfth of Decem- ber, for the last five years many a pitying or curious look had been directed toward the lighted window, where a grimy lamp burned till the first touch of dawn tinged the Heavens. There the old cobbler would sit mending and fondling a small slipper—a strange, pitiful, old man. so strong in body and seemingly so weak in mind. Those few who had lived in the neighborhood long could remember the day when Nicholas, the shoemaker, had lived above his shop with his daughter, Bernice, in spotless rooms and in happiness disturbed only by his occasional outbursts of temper. His daughter, then eighteen, had been, unknown to him. sending articles to a popular magazine, many of which were accepted. On this day she had received a letter compli- menting her ability and offering an excellent opportunity to continue her work in the city under proper supervision. That night when her father came up to their cozy rooms for dinner she proudly told him of her secret and begged to be allowed to accept the offer made her. Nicholas flew into a violent temper as if all the furies of the storm god had been set loose about him. He hurled shaft after shaft of white-hot anger at his daughter, cursing the fate that had put such foolishness into her head. I he next day Bernice was gone. For five years he had heard no word from her—had made no search. With true Scotch obstinacy and perseverance 49 The Spectrum June. 1920 he held unflinchingly to his life, neither receiving nor giving pity or love. Then came the sixth anniversary of his daughter's disappearance. Just such a storm was raging out in the black and howling night as had surged within him six years before—but those years had made of him a very different man. In that miserable shop, half-illumined by the flicker- ing lamp, half-bowed over a small slipper, he seemed but a phantom shadow of his former self. A knock at the door! He did not look up. Another— he moved not a whit. Pitying neighbors could go back into 1 he raging night, for his was not a flinching nature. Then came a voice, not familiar nor even natural, but low and distinct, seeming to allay for a moment even the wild fury of the night. As if drawn by a magnet, Nicholas arose and moved toward the door, unlatched it and let in the stranger. “Friend, I have need of shelter from the storm. May I find it here? I do not offer you material pay; mine will be far dearer than gold. It will buy what gold and silver cannot. They spread destruction and terror broadcast before them. They typify the blood red of autumn, the barren waste of winter. My gift gives happiness and life as the budding springs brings forth the glowing, blossoming sum- mer. Some call it W isdom but I — I call it Love. Without answering, Nicholas picked up the grimy lamp and led the way upstairs where he prepared a lunch and gave it to the stranger. He then went to a far corner of the room, resuming his pensive, careful study of the slipper. The hours passed; the storm, as if wooed away by approach- ing dawn, fretted, then melted into silence. The stranger moved across the room and took the worn slipper from an unresisting hand. “You served me when I was lost in the storm and tempest of the night, now 1 shall help you from your blackness and despair of spirit. 1 am what some people call a seer, yet I do not gaze into the crystal and see forms and shapes appear from the void. My power is vastly different. I see lack of harmony and destruction which, J fear, is a common gift; but I see also the perfect condition which should exist, and better still, I see a remedy for all evil. The world, however, is not yet ready to hear and heed my teachings. Selfishness, the serpent, still reigns supreme and coils about its victims with enmeshing grip, forbidding them to learn of harmony and love. “You have made a mistake, my friend. Still, that is a common fault. You are not now suffering from that mis- take, as you suppose, but for a far worse reason. You 50 June, 1920 The Spectrum dwell in the Kingdom of Self Pity, where no thought but of self shall ever penetrate. Before happiness can come to you or to your loved ones, you must rise above the morbid level of selfishness and learn the great lesson of self-sacri- fice and abnegation.’’ Nicholas looked up, wonder and disbelief in his eyes. Was he sitting here calmly allowing that voice to address him thusly—he who had never accepted of any man’s pity or advice? The voice, for only the voice seemed realistic, continued: “I will leave with you a little book which contains a story rich in wisdom and helpful to those who will heed it. Read and profit, for by that means only will you find the pathway that leads from the Kingdom of Self-Pity.” The seer was gone and Nicholas had awakened from what seemed to him a dream. He looked around for evi- dence that it had been realistic and espied on the table, beside a worn slipper, a small leather-bounci book. Wonderingly he picked it up and turned to the first page. Disinterestedly, he read at first, then jealously, as if he feared his treasure would be taken from him before he could devour it. Through the dawn he read and into the day which broke smilingly from the Heavens which last night had harbored all the demons of hate and frenzy, all the vultures of fury and despair. Was it a symbol? Christmas day! The sun glistened brightly upon a white and spotless earth. Windows, dressed in festal red and green, fairly sang out their happiness and good will. In the rooms above a little shoe shop was a truly merry group —an old man with hair as white as the snow which covered the earth, a girl with cheeks as rosy as the pink that tinged the sky, and a young man, her husband, with a voice as dear and musical as the sleigh bells which rang out through the air. They were all looking, smilingly, toward the top of their Christmas Tree, where hung a tiny leather-bound book. It had been left there a few weeks before by the young man with the low, musical voice, and its authoress was— Bernice Nicholas. The older man reached up and took it down. He turned to the first page, which read: “The Way that leads from the 'Kingdom of Self-Pity' is called the ‘Road of Self-Sacrifice.’ To him who will not seek this path is destruction, but to him who seeks and finds is happiness and love.” 51 The p e c t r u m June, 1920 To the Brook Ruth I Iarvey Little brook! Sing a song Of the way you've come along. Of the noises of the breeze, As he whispers to the trees. Little brook! Tell me true, Do you think that little you, Even you. will ever be Part of distant deep blue sea? Little brook ! Laugh and leap, Lull me to a dreamer's sleep, And your ripples as they go Take my troubles far below. Little brook ! Little brook, Take me to a shady 1100k, W here all day I'll rest at ease, Listening to the summer breeze. June, 1920 The Spectrum The Girl of the Painting Eleanor Wells HE LONG afternoon shadows were slowly waning and the last lingering rays of the set- ting sun, shining through an occasional leafy bough lent an air of mystery to the party of young folks cantering slowly through the Southern woods. The party, under the leadership of Thomas McDonald, was on its wav to spend the evening and the following day with an old friend of the McDonalds. This friend was an old Southern gentleman, a veteran of the Civil War. He lived by himself, aside from several aged negro servants, in an old, rambling colonial mansion. Many inquisitive neighbors had tried to become friendly, but after one or two visits to the old mansion, during which they had looked to their heart's content, the visits generally stopped. As they drew near the house, one of the girls, a visitor from the North, cried out in delight. She had never seen an old Southern mansion before, as this was her first visit to the South. “I wonder if they'll have a delightful old attic with heaps of quaint old costumes in it, she exclaimed. “Of course, it wouldn't be a real old mansion if there wasn’t an attic and a romance connected with the house, answered Tom. In a few minutes the party drew up before the door, which was thrown hospitably open, revealing an old, white haired gentleman in the doorway. He was about seventv years of age, but had a very erect, military bearing about him. The members of the party were introduced and ushered into the wide hallway. I he visitor from the North was introduced last of all, and it was she alone who noticed the start he gave when he heard her name, and the searching glance he gave her. I ut the incident was soon forgotten in the midst of preparations for dinner. Half an hour later the guests, in evening clothes descended for dinner, and such a dinner! Delicious fried chicken, cooked as only a Southern darky knows how. potatoes dripping with honey, corn bread that would melt in your mouth, and the most delicious pudding and rich cream imaginable. The Spectrum June, 1920 The repast finished, the young people gathered around the old square piano and sang all the songs they could think of. Their host was delighted and beamed upon the company until the old, black butler whispered to the cook, “Marse Robert sure is happy dis yere night. I’se not seen him so happy foali years!” Finally, Tom suggested a raid upon the attic in search of adventure. The girls seized upon the idea with eager- ness and the men were not long in following suit. Up they tramped with old black mammy for a guide. Three dusty, dingy trunks were drawn out of the cubby- holes as lots were drawn to see who would have first choice. Morine from the North was the lucky one, and with a cry of delight, she fell upon a trunk and started to rummage through it. About an hour later a strange company of belles and beaux assembled in the hall. The odd hoop skirts and queer bonnets were the object of much admiration from the young men. Morine was declared to be the belle of the party, so lovely did she look. Her dress was a delicate blue silk with the tiniest of pink rosebuds scattered over it. The dainty bodice was trimmed with exquisite lace, and the charming bonnet brought out the piquancy of her face. Her hair, a beautiful shade of golden yellow, was arranged low on her neck with a number of tiny curls. Altogether she looked like a very beautiful painting. Tom declared he had a suggestion as to how to appear before their host. He had discovered an old picture frame in the attic, large enough for a person to stand upright in it. A piece of black cloth could be fastened to the top, and each one could form a pose, giving the appearance of a picture. Morine was chosen to pose first, and she tripped down- stairs and slipped into the frame. Their host was very anxious for the first picture, and was leaning forward in his chair. As the cover was drawn from the picture and revealed Morine standing there as lovely as a flower, the old gentleman sprang to his feet, then sank back into his chair, gasping. Morine was frightened and called to the others. Old black Mammy came rushing in and upon seeing Morine, uttered a shrill cry: “Lawd o’ massy, chile, it’s Miss Betty come back to us.” After the first excitement had subsided and the old gen- tleman had recovered from the shock, he called the party around him and said he had a story to tell them. They gathered eagerly about him and he began the following: 54 June. iy20 The Spectrum “Years and years ago, before the War, my father, sister and I lived in this house. I was considerably older than my sister, hut I simply idolized her. On the next plantation to ours lived a very dear friend of my father's. His wife, who came from the North, was dead and he had had one son, about the age of my sister Betty. Naturally, the two were close friends, and when war broke out, he joined the Army of the Blue. Still, my sister loved him, though his father disowned him and our father forbade their engage- ment. Nevertheless, when the war was over, Betty ran away one night with him to the North. My father was so furious he declared he never would forgive her, and not until his dying day, did he even mention her name. My own heart was hardened by my father’s wrath. Today I have had the one wish of my life—that I might see Betty or one of her children before 1 died. 11 is story finished, he sank back in the chair, his face buried in his hands. Morine stood up and with tears run- ning down her lovely face, she came to her uncle. “Uncle Robert, dear Uncle Robert, are you really sure? It seems so wonderful. “Morine, I have something to show you. Please come with me,” and he led the way into his study. The rest followed wonderingly. 1 le led her up to a large picture covered with a white cloth. As he drew the cloth aside, a cry of surprise hurst from the young people. There, in a huge gilt frame, looking as if she could speak, was the painting of a young girl, the image of the live girl, who stood facing her. It was the old Betty, dressed in the beautiful blue dress, the same rosebuds, the darling hat and yellow curls, the exact image of Morine. The rest of the party began talking of the likeness and how beautiful they both were, but Morine stood with clasped hands, a rapt expression upon her face, in front of her mother’s picture. Suddenly she turned and putting her arms around her uncle, led him up to the picture. “Dearest Uncle Bob, she cried, “I'm sure she forgave you! Oh. I'm positive she did, and so the real girl, the living, happy girl of the dear little blue dress and yellow curls, forgives you, too. 55 The Spectrum June, lyjo Mother Claire D. W allace When the sun is slowly sinking And the shadows falling fast. And the winds have ceased their moaning, And the moon conies out at last— When the birds are through their soaring, And the owls begin their “Hoo,” Then it is my thoughts do wander, Wander back again to you. I can see you in the evening, As you were so long ago. When you used to rock me gently, Rock me gently to and fro. This, Dear Mother, is my greatest. Sweetest memory of you. And all my life 1 hope to carry This thought, of one so true. 50 June, 1920 The Spectrum To a Wildflower Claire D. Wallace There’s a dainty little flower, In the meadow on the farm, With the most enticing fragrance And a greatly luring charm. It comes in early springtime, When the gentle zephyrs blow, And the cattle in the pastures With the evening seem to low. When the birds have ceased their warbling And are perched upon their nests, And the great red sun is sinking— Sinking deep into the west. Then it is this little flower, With its thoughts that are so good, Rises up from out the meadow, As the trees rise from the wood, Giving off its sweetest fragrance To the world when all is still, And being glad to work alone, If it can give its fill Of joy to little children And their elders, every one, Who ofttimes stop to pick it When the long day's work is done. Although it may be resting Among others in a vase, It keeps on shedding fragrance, Never thinking of the place. 57 The Spectrum E'en when it’s old and faded, And its living days are past, There will remain the fragrance In our minds until the last. So let us profit wisely, And make our own small lives Reflect this little flower, That always blooms and thrives. And though our vase is lowly, And success is not the best, Can we not be blooming When we are put to rest? June, i()20 58 June, 1920 The Spectrum At Crater Lake Harriet Malcolm NLY those who have visited Crater Lake in its splendor can realize the various moods which pass over the beholder who spends a few days there for the first time. Crater Lake is the sunken top, one might say, of Mt. Mazama. Its water is not ugly or murky, but beauti- ful with hue of the bluest blue. When on the top of the mountain, or on what is commonly called the rim, one would think one was looking down into the middle of the sky, for at evening-time the water and sky appear to meet, to blend into space. In the evening everything is quiet and still. The big pines sway ever so little in the breeze and the winds murmur as if in quiet talk among themselves. That murmur gives one a sort of painful grip about the heart. So sad, so quiet and yet so everlasting the little breezes pass, slip and glide through the knotted pines and then sail over the deep lake. It is at evening that the sense of magnitude, the volume of immeasurable space can be felt. Standing at the edge and looking down into the gloom one can fairly hear and smell that vast emptiness. God seems so very near that there is an impulse to leap down to meet some spirit calling, calling from the depths. I he very stars seem to stop their tiny twinkles and wait expectantly to see the watcher let go of Life's fingers and join that quiet but magnetic spirit. But Life’s hold is strong, and instead of leaving the slender ledge, one can only crouch down at the foot of a sturdy pine and wonder and dream about the be- ginning of all things. Evening grows into night. The feeling of awe grows into fear. The mists of grey blacken, the breezes groan and sigh. Instead of longing to jump, a fear clutches at the heart, fear lest stepping too near the edge, the foot would slip, and falling into that black and terrible abyss, the earthly body would leave life's bright kingdom and the soul would join its fellows. But again nothing happens and the fearful clutchings at the heart subside as the gentle moon rises and throws its smiling beams upon the lake. It is then that the feeling of exhaltation gains upon one and love of life grows strong. The glimmer upon the water 59 The Spectrum June, 1920 below, the noises of space, the quietness of death all vie with each other, and as the moon reaches its zenith sleep passes over all the land. Morning! Fear, doubt, and longings are past and forgotten. The heart pulls at its mooring and all nature is alive and happy. The sun warms up everything chasing away the Night Spirits. The blue of the lake with its emerald trimming deepens. Birds sing as if they could scarcely hold their little bursting, joyful hearts. Peace, not soothing and quiet, but peace alive falls upon the world. The dead camp fires are lit and the day is begun again, while the magnificent lake, dressed in splendor, displays its wonders to mankind. 1 60 t June, 1920 The Spectrum A Tree Helen Lee Brown Sonic day perhaps I'll know about a tree; Its life, its hopes, its fears ’twill tell to me. There seems to he some secret in a tree That I can feel and hear, but cannot see. Each time I pat the friendly bark of oak or pine, And ’round its ample trunk my arms entwine, I hear a tiny voice call out to me— It is the souj’s sweet voice of that dear tree. It sends a mournful cry to me in vain, Though to release it truly I would fain, O soul of trees immortal for all time, The peace and rest of ages is all thine! 61 Vol. Eleven Portland, Oregon, June, 1920 No. Eight The Spectrum is the official publication of the students of the Jefferson High School and is published by them monthly during the school year. Subscription rates are $1.00 a year, by mail $1.20. All communications should be addressed to The Spectrum, Jefferson High School, Portland, Oregon. ntered as second class matter February 5. 1914. at Portland. Oregon, under act of March 3. 1879 Mildred Hall . Earl C. Ward. . Miss Patterson Miss Brown ... James Lively .. Spectrum Staff .........................Editor-in-Chicf ..........................Associate Editor ........................Faculty Art Critic ..........................Faculty Adviser ........................Busin ess M a nager LITERARY MONTHLY CARTOONS Dorothy Boggf.ss SPECTRE '1' h eodore Green SCHOOL NOTES Raeford Bailey Homer Bidwell Sidney Randles G. Utter Frances Billups EDITORIALS Lucille Ward HUMOR Wylie Blaney HAMMER AND HORN Pauline Dick VERSE Helen Lee Brown Claire Wallace PHOTOS Joseph Weiser SOLICITORS Lowell Beckendorf ART ATM LET ICS Floyd McKalson Harry Ahrens Agnes Payton Harry Arnold Clarence Sheldon f 2 June, J()20 The Spectrum PRINCIPAL’S REPORT June Class, 1920 Number to receive diplomas, 181=74 boys, 107 girls. Average age of class, 17 years, 10 months, 14 days. Average age of boys, 17 years, 6 months, 17 days. Average age of girls, 18 years, 2 months, 11 days. Youngest boy, B. Emmet McCaffery, 16 years, 1 month, 20 days. Youngest girl, Thelma Ilill, 16 years, 3 months, 20 days. Number of honorary graduates, 17 boys, 28 girls. The following completed the course in: Three years, 4 boys, 4 girls. Harry George Ahrens George Ed. Moore Franklin Strohecker Joseph Weiser Three and one-half years, Harry Albert Arnold Luther R. Bailey Wylie W. Blanev J Louis Chambreau Merle Custer Francis Drinker Allan Frisbie Randall S. Parker Claire D. Wallace Timothy Colvin Albert Grilley William Healy T. Giarles Layton Arnold T. May hack Aldrich Magnusson B. Emmett McCaffery Kenneth A. Meserve Frances Court Harriet Malcolm Mildred Pierce Dorothy Saver 17 boys, 14 girls. Ivah Louise Ahrendt Helen M. Baker Isabella Blair Loretta C. Burr Gloria Collinson Frances R. Court Pauline Dick Tamaka Fukuda Ruby Fva Gillson Anna Jackson Harriet Christine Johns Lucille Ward Selma Wetteland Eleanor Woodward One hundred twenty students expect to complete their education at institutions as follows: Boys Girls j Undecided ................................... 5 6 University of Oregon ........................20 Oregon Agricultural College..................12 12 University of Washington..................... 7 6 03 The Spectrum June, 1920 Reed ..................................... 3 5 Oregon Normal............................ 0 6 University of California ................. 1 2 Stanford ................................. 7 q Business Colleges ........................ 0 3 Bible School ............................. 2 0 North Pacific Dental College.............. 4 0 Washington State College.................. 0 3 Eastern Colleges.......................... 2 2 McMinnville .............................. 2 0 Whitman............... ................... 1 q vocations tentatively forecasted are as follows: Boys Undecided .............20 Law ................... 7 Medicine .............. 3 Banking................ 1 Engineering ...........13 Journalism.............. 2 Dentistry ..............4 Commerce .............. 3 Pharmacy .............. 1 Dramatics .............. 1 Advertising.............. 2 Undertaking ............ 1 Brokerage................ 3 Foreign Trade ........... 4 Religious .............. 1 Architecture ........... 1 Music and Art........... 1 Girls Undecided ..............30 Stenography............21 Teaching ...............25 Library ............... 1 Nursing ................ 2 Music .................. 2 Journalism............... 3 Religious ............... 1 Interior Decoration ..... 1 Art ..................... 1 Banking.................. 1 Laboratory Specialist. .. .— EARNINGS Boys Total amount earned ........................ $68,537.00 Number of boys who worked .......................... 67 Average per boy............................... 1,022.95 Largest amount earned (by Stanford Harlev Anderson) .................................. 3,000 Occupations at which money was earned: Carrying papers .................................... 19 Clerking ........................................... 21 04 June, 1920 The Spectrum Work in ship yards .............................. 21 Mill work ....................................... 16 Office work.................................... 16 Farm work ....................................... 12 Mechanics........................................ 14 Army service . ,.................................. 7 Girls Total amount earned ..................... $14,491.00 Number of girls who worked....................... 63 Average per girl .......................... 230.15 Largest amount earned (by Frances Rachel Court) .................................... 1,195.00 Occupations at which money was earned: Caring for children .............................. 7 Housework ....................................... 12 Sewing ........................................... 4 Music ............................................ 5 Office work...................................... 25 Clerking ........................................ 12 Telephone Exchange ............................... 3 Farm work ....................................... 6 Number of girls to make their own graduating dresses. . 18 The following tabulation shows the number who took part in various student activities and in athletics: Roys Girls Athletic Association .................... 48 28 Camera Club..............-................ 9 2 Class Play ...................1........... 8 3 Commercial Club .......................... 6 6 Debate ................................... 8 3 Fire Squad .............................. 21 0 Forum .................................... 3 3 Glee Club . ............................. 17 20 Home Economics Club ...................... 0 2 J Club .................................. 10 0 Live Wires............................... 27 19 Naemphi................................... 0 12 Orchestra ................................ 8 9 Pi Deltas ............................... 26 0 Scientific Club .......................... 2 0 65 The Spectrum June, 1920 Spectrum ................................ 12 6 Technical Club .......................... 30 0 Tri Elle ................................. 0 15 Zeta ..................................... 0 18 Usher Corps ............................. 14 Baseball................................. 11 0 Basketball ............................... 5 5 Football................................. 12 0 Soccer ................................... 4 0 T rack-.................................. 15 0 Tennis.................................... 1 4 Drill ................................... 9 0 Ka-na-da-ka.............................. 16 0 Spanish Club ............................ 10 0 Hi Yis ...................,.............. 20 0 INDIVIDUALITY In this 20th century stage of civilization so much of the real individual is hidden “behind the velvet.” ILis real self is bound up in the tight coat of good form and maaners until he finds it almost impossible to expand or develop hi one good character without interfering with his iron band. He goes away dutifully following on the footsteps of society, worshipping at the worldly shrines and taking his lessons in the most approved-of styles, but this cannot go on forever, and something must break somewhere, and when it does, it usually goes with a bang and ruins the good stand- ing of both the individual and his near friends and relatives. Now is the time to correct this, for, as the twig is bent, so the tree will grow. Let us assert our individuality not at all by shocking society and ruining all good morals, but by refusing to follow always the lead of the trumpeter and, by deciding for ourselves the destiny which the future years will bring to us. If we do this we shall soon become the leader after whom all the sheep of the world will follow, and we can become a real ruling jxnver in the life of com- munity and country.—Mildred Hall. OUR STAR How hard it is to reach that distant star! There is the goal toward which we strive, but how hard is the path and how many the pitfalls! 06 June, 1920 The Spectrum Ambition is a holy thing. It is the beautiful ladder by which we gain entrance to the realm of golden love and success. There is nothing so purifying, so uplifing as unselfish ambition. It is the rope which binds our souls to heavenly things. It is the very fiber of our being, which urges onward to the big and better life. The soul of man, so large and clean, when he first comes “trailing clouds of glory” as he leaves “God who is our home,” would shrivel and shrink were it not for the soft, tender influence of his guiding star. Hut under its light his soul clings to better things in a longing for a higher trend of life. Youth and ambition ! These words are inseparable! Un- tainted youth grasps the fairest things and not the foul. Foremost of these is that silvery orb—ambition. A happy life, love, success—all go hand in hand with ambition.—Laverna Spitzenberger. CHEERFULNESS How we all like to meet a cheerful person, especially in the mornings, one who has-a goocl word, and cheerful greet- ing for all. The meeting seems to set the day going right. It is really just as easy to be cheerful as it is not to be, for we must remember it is only a habit after all. A simple, cheerful word often makes lifelong friends. And when, in school a teacher rebukes us, it is by no means to our advantage to get pouty; but if we stay cheerful, the cloud quickly passes by, and sunshine and cheer prevail. So let us be like sunbeams and where e'er we go spread cheerfulness and the light of happiness.—Lucille Ward. ❖ REALIZATION It is a common fault with most of 11s poor mortals that we realize things too late in life to remedy or revise them to any great extent. So it is every year with Seniors who arc ready to graduate. They realize how much more worth while they could have made their four years of high school. Hut alas, it is too late, for the time is gone. Seniors show in their last year what they can really do when they get down to “brass tacks,” for they know that their pride and or The Spectrum June, 1920 honor depend on their receivin'1' graduating with their class. that dear diploma and Ilow wonderful it would be if this unquenchable en- thusiasm for learning would take hold of them when fresh- men and last all through their four years. We would in- deed have glorious institutions of learning. Xow, underclassmen, let us, as those who have gone thru the mill and grind, slipping and falling at times, ur rC ou to do your best and show your parents, teachers and friends what you can do and will do. You will finallv arrive at your senior year, happy and proud and graduate with honors, and thereby receive the reward of all your labor.—Lucille Ward. 68 ZETAGATHIANS The Zetas are justly proud of the work they have accomplished this term. Although handicapped by the absence of both their secretary and treasurer, they have more than upheld the former activities of their club. At the first of the term when Jefferson was striving to collect an Armenian Relief Fund, the Zeta girls came for- ward with the unique idea of holding an entertainment at the noon hour. The student body offered its usual splendid cooperation and under the name of the Zeta “Do a splendid program was given in the school auditorium, the proceeds from which amounted to over one hundred and fifteen dollars. Before the club could quite get its breath the Live Wire Vaudeville was announced and the Zetas again offered to supply a number. This time the girls presented a tableau representative of woman’s part in the three most important wars in which the United States has participated—the Rev- olutionary, the Civil, and the World Wars. All agreed that this was one of the most beautiful and popular acts in the show. Xext came the Pi Delta-Zeta dance which is held an- nually. 1 he girls worked hard to make this a success. The gymnasium was attractively decorated in the colors of the two clubs and all enjoyed the evening immensely. Among the girls' debating societies in the Portland High Schools, there is an existing custom which decrees that in order of rotation the different clubs shall entertain each other. This year the Zetas will be hostesses. They arc planning a delightful lawn party on the school campus. There will be a program, instructive as well as entertain- ing, dancing, and a social time. Apart from the unusual social features of the term, the Zetas have held their weekly business meetings where de- bates and musical numbers have been supplied by the dif- ferent members. I lie club wishes to extend its thanks to the student body of the school and to the individual members of the club for their help and cooperation during the past term. An invitation is also extended to girls of the fifth term or above to hand in their names for membership next term. —Dorothy I� . Boggess. «9 January ’21 Class F ire Squad The Spectrum June. 1920 TRI-LS This semester has been well spent by the Tri-L skirls. They have sewed for the baby homes, have had many in- teresting' programs, and have enjoyed many social affairs. On Sunday afternoon, May 9th. a “Mothers' Day” program was given at the Y. W. C. A. Every Tri-L club of the city was invited, accompanied by the mothers. The three numbers presented by the Jefferson girls were: a piano duet by Lola and Dorothy Dobbins, a vocal solo bv Alice Freeland, and a reading by Viola Sorenson. A red carnation was given to each mother present. The Tri-L girls are planning to give a tea at the Y. W. C. A. in the near future at which the mothers of the girls will be their guests. The club will be divided irito two teams, each of which will have charge of one half of the program. The side presenting the more unique program will be given a picnic by the losing team. Much enthusiasm is being shown.—Jean A. Young. . GIRLS’ GLEE CLUB I’y way of change, as well as regard for the finding of new solo voices, the Girls' Glee Club has been entertained by one or two solos at each of the last few meetings. Also, encouraged by the success of the opera “O Mara San. Mr. Reed thinks we may, perhaps, try another next term—One of the Girls. CAMERA CLUB In the fall of 1909, Ed. Simmons and an enthusiastic group of photographers organized the Jefferson Camera Club, the oldest club in school. Mr. Simmons was the first president of. the Camera Club and then followed Vincent Smith, Herbert Meren. Jonas Tolan, Varon Smith, Carl J. Roelir Jr., and Joseph Weiser, who is president at this time. Ihe Camera Club was disorganized in the fall of 1917, due mostly to war, and was not reorganized until this term. I lie purpose of the club as the name implies is to further the members' knowledge of photography and to secure for them a certain amount of pleasurable exercise, both mental and physical. In 1915 the Album was started and contains pictures taken by members of the club. In June 16 the Album was Spectrum Staff The Spectrum June, 1920 presented to Mr Jenkins and later dedicated to lonas Tolan. The present club will continue to put pictures in the Album' The number of members is limited to 25, and anyone possessing a camera who is a fifth termer or above may apply for membership. I lie Camera C lub took its first hike on Sunday after- noon, May 11. Some excellent pictures were taken in Macleay Park and the aeroplane field below the park. Other trips have been planned and we intend to continue with our good work.—Selma Wetteland, Sec. JANUARY ’21 CLASS I wonder how many of us realize now that the January '21 Class reigns supreme? With the passing of the June '20 C lass comes the rise of the January Class to power. Although we are happy over this fact, we will miss the June Class. Our hearty congratulations are extended to them, and may they have good luck in the years to come. Clean I p Day on May 8 of this year! Everybody wore old clothes, and we had a real clean up campaign ( ?) Yes, just ask anyone who came. They will tell you. Lots of work (?) and lots of pep!—Dorothy Wickham, Sec. ❖ NAEMPHI 1 his term has been a very active one for the members of the club. Among the many good times were parties, a hike, and a very entertaining afternoon at Washington High School. S S Many of the members will graduate this June, but it is hoped that the remaining and the incoming ones will carry on the work with as great success as this term has seen.— Christine Johns, LIVE WIRES After making a great success of the tag sale for track and baseball, the Live W ires are now busy selling the tickets for the Class Play. This will be the last official work of the Live ires this term, and we hope to sell as many tickets as possible. I he Live ires have had a very successful term and have carried out the work with the well known “pep” for which the organization is famed.—Mary Harris, Sec. 74 Usher Corps The Spectrum June, 1920 KANA-DA-KA CLUB On Friday afternoon, May 7, the Kana-da-ka Club took a hike through Macleay Park. The club has taken many outdoor hikes which have afforded good opportunities for carrying out the purpose of the club, which is to study nature. The club has received many compliments upon its skit, “Lockinvar,” which was presented in the Live Wire Vaudeville. A very successful term has been experienced by the Kana-da-kas.—Gloria D. Christ, Sec. ;: PI DELTS The Pi Belts have been going strong this term. In con- junction with the Zetas we gave a dance in the gym on the first of May. This proved a success in every way. . Sometime in the future the club intends to hold a special assembly, wherein the entire program will be given by Pi Belts. The semi-annual banquet will be held the last of the term. At this time officers for the following term will be elected. I he graduation of the June Class will seriously deplete the ranks of the club, but next term the usual Pi Belt pep and spirit is expected to rebuild the membership to its full strength. “By the sign of the owl, ye shall know us.”— Walter E. Holman, Sec. FIRE SQUAD ith the graduation of the June Class, a large n,umber of vacancies will occur in the ranks of the Fire Squad. This will be a golden opportunity for ambitious youngsters to make their debut in school activities. It has always .been the custom for the Assistant Chief to succeed the Fire Chief, but because both will graduate, the new chief must be chosen from the other members of the staff. I his condition has evoked strong competition and has also greatly aided in bringing about the high stand- ard of efficiency which the hire Squad has attained in the past year. The appointment of the new chief will not be made until the last day of school. The Fire Squad has accomplished many things within the last year. In fact, all the plans made by the staff at the beginning of the year have been carried out almost to the letter. 7G Zetagath i a n s The Spectrum June, 1920 When the fall term begins, we urge the new staff to make a strong endeavor at the beginning towards preserving our honored record. The best of luck and success!— Gibson Bowles. LONAPES CLUB The newly organized Spanish club is promising to become a big success in the future. Many interesting pro- grams have been given, but the biggest affair was the picnic at Battle Ground Lake on Saturday, May 15. The ride to and from, the big lunch, the dancing, and the swimming were enjoyed by all.—Arnolda Vog, Reporter. ORGANIZATION OF THE JUNE, ’20 CLASS Boys Octette—Edward Wightman, Christian Risky, bass; Charles Layton, Wilmer West, second tenor; Harold Brown, Walter Holman, baritone; Lowell Beckendorff, William Jacobs, first tenor. Girls Octette—Jean McLeod, Alice Reynolds, Vivian Feike, Eleanor Bachman, Alice Schmidt, Mary Alexander, Selma Wetteland, Dorothy Wenzel. Orchestra—Ruby Lloyd, piano; Truth Terry, violin; Walter Gumbert, banjo; Sterling McCord, drums; Harold Brown, saxophone. Boys Basketball Team—Ilealy, Chambreau, forwards; Bidwell, center ; Cummings, Nelson, guards. Girls Basketball Team—Eleanor Woodward, Selma Wetteland, forwards; Dorothy Boggess, Ruth Harvey, guards; Jessie McDonald, captain; Doris Lake, center. Baseball Team—Rime, catcher; Arnold, 1st base; Goodell, 2d base; Yeomans, shortstop; Coulter, 3d base- pitcher; Bidwell, 3d base-pitcher; Brown, right field; Will- iams, left field ; Healy, center field. Football Team—Stroheckcr, center ; Bidwell, left guard ; Risky, right guard; Robinson, right tackle; Giesy, left tackle ; Blaney, left end ; Adams, right end ; Wright, quarter; Holman, half; Nelson, half; Goodell, fullback; Brown, quarterback. YOU NEVER CAN TELL '‘The play's the thing,:” present tense and past! In re- view, three factors appear in the success of this effort; Mr. Bernard Shaw, the author; the Jefferson student body, fur- 78 u o 11 s d 3 mpG ij The Spectrum June, 1920 mshing the cast and the best kind of an audience ; and Miss Xina Greathouse, the director, than whom there is none better. “You Xever Can Tell” is well named, for the extraction of one of the pearly teeth of Eleanor Wells, the attractive engenue, brought forth a whole string of events. Harold Brown, as the dentist, was perhaps the central figure, although it is a starless play, or a play of stars, as you will. It was well known that Harold Brown is a young man of varied gifts, but his dexterity with the forceps was a matter of interest and surprise to his acquaintances. He gave a frank, whimsical, and altogether likeable character. Helen Brown, in the role of Gloria, shared honors with alentine in the romantic scenes. She made a glorious Gloria, who forgot herself, her Shopenhauer, and her un- conventional theories when the crisis came in her life. I he notorious, ahnost-grown-up-but-never-quite, twins added fun and dash to the play. John Reisacher as Phil, was as full of surprises as a March day, and Eleanor Wells made a winsome and amusing minx of a Dolly. Mrs. Langfrey Clandon, the mother of this eccentric family from Madeira, is a sort of Laura Jean Libby on household affairs. This part was played by Margaret West- gate. Claire Wallace, as the missing father of the Clandons, handled his part skilfully. This prodigal father is an in- compatible person, lacking the veneer of society, but posses- sing a warm heart. Raeford Bailey was the gentle waiter from whose philos- ophy the play derives its name. His timely appearance at the height of family difference poured oil on the troubled waters. Eleanor Woodward, the dentist's attendant, was charm- ing in her immaculate professional garb, and was kept very busy in her duties. Charles Layton, as the old-fashioned, twin-pestered law- yer, did not have a particularly brilliant scope for his really dramatic ability, but possessed the suavity, the vivacity, and the clever facial expression of a finished actor. James Lively, as Bohun, son of the waiter but risen to the position of Q. C., was a majestic apostle of wisdom, and thundered forth his views in a terrifying manner. In the English atmosphere of tea, waiters who wait, and dentists called “mister,” the scenes are laid. The end- 80 The Spectrum June, 19 3o ing of “You Never Can Tell” is refreshingly different from the conventional type of the present clay, for although Gloria does become “Mrs. Dentist,” she does not do so in the usual manner of stage heroines. Thus, the young people find romance, and their elders find philosophy, but poor Mr. Crampton finds only an unmanageable family and the tooth- ache. It seems as though he deserves better. As the sun went down to his gray slumber beyond the English coast, and as the blue and silver evening faded into purple night, peace reigned supreme, and those who should have lived happily ever after, so lived. The play leaves certain un- answered questions, for in the lives of men, of women and of turns, “You Never Can Tell.” 82 Camera Club N a e m p h i Class Play Cast CJ 'J S- (A � The Spectrum June, 1920 Oh, It’s Good To Be Youn Helen Lee Brown Oh, it's good to he young when the sun shines And blossoms are bursting in bloom; And dear skies are bluer and clearer to me hen mixed with the blossoms perfume. I here is not a dark cloud in the whole calm sky, Xor one dark thought deep in my soul. Xo troubles or worries bring scowls or frowns_ Xot one hindrance shadows my goal! Just as blue as the skies so happy am I, The bright sun dispels all the gloom. Oh, it’s good to be young when the sun shines And blossoms are bursting in bloom. 94 Editorial The Monthly Specter takes great pleasure in slinging scandal and being half-witted this 0 time because this is the last chance under the c present guiding spirits. Everyone who has been insulted by being mentioned in these columns can console him or herself by the thought that the next spirit- in-chief may hit you harder than we did. If you have any objections or suggestions concerning this ghastly sheet send them to A. Ghost, ooo Spook Avenue, Spiritland. Staff Lll-ar-bee—the mysterious spirit-in-chief. Humor Bid wrong—special assistant for this outburst. Smac—spirit of jazz—’June, 21. The Seniors are so dignified. They did not want a Specter here. “We’ll put all silliness aside,” They said, but they were not so clear On how to keep a ghost outside, And so this Specter did appear. School Notes The Dog Joint Loafers’ Club which meets at noon is gaining in popularity according to its president, Claire Wallace. They have a club song now which they chant as follows: We loafers are a mighty bunch, We always cat a hearty lunch. We eat too soon, we eat too late. Arid then we buy another plate Of wiggly dope and yell for more, Until we’re sent to thirty-four. The snow bird is gone but we still have with us that bird who is insulted if he is not mentioned at least three times in the Specter. The saddest person is said to be the person who paid his share for an organization picture and then got there too late to be in it. After four summers of practicing. Ruby Loyd thinks she can go canoeing this year without upsetting. Line forms on the right, friends. Unclassy Advertisements Wanted—A quiet place to recuperate after four years’ of hard (?) work. June ’20 Jazzers. Situation wanted—assisting somebody who has nothing to do. Louie Coulter. Sassiety Scandal We’ve heard a lot of former girls— Of former girls of other years, But they don’t show beside our pearls— Our girls of June twen-ty, the dears. Ask Gloria Collinson why she asked the or- chestra at the Gek dance to play, “Till We Meet Again.” There’s a reason. Palmer Miller has a new car. When asked who drove it, he replied, “Nobody drives it; they coax it.” Jim Lively was heard the other night trying to outsing the nightingale. However, Miss P. looked all right next morning. , Bill Jacobs reports that the speed cops favorite tune is, “You may be deaf tonight, but tomorrow you will have your hearing. ’ Statement The Monthly Specter—the official nonsense and slander sheet of the more weak-minded Jeffersonians. Published now and then. Owners—there are no owners. No one could be found who would take any stock in this sheet. Vol. Latest We bring our own applause Number—This One THE MONTHLY SPECTRE Aunt Abigail’s Answers to the Anxious Q Why do little cliickicH conic out of the egg� ? Marian Fox. A—They know they’d get fried if they stayed in. O Why doesn’t Oscar Richards ever suffer front a cold? Hill 15rami. A You sec, Hill, he is always wrapped up in his work. Q Why arc inen so disgusting? Blanche Harlow. A—«I don’t know anything about insect life, Blanche. Q—Won’t you give us some particulars about those fat letters Helen Carman receives from Seattle? Wanta Know. A All she will let me say is it’s a “mail” at secret. Q- -Why has the price of plank steak ad- vanced? Russel Burton. A Somebody tell Russ about the latest in- crease in the price of lumber. 0 Why is Doris Lake called “Puddles”? I’eggy West gate. A—She isn't large enough to make a lake, don’t cha know. , Q Is there anything curious about the June jo people besides their bob-tailed octette? Dorothy II. A Why certainly—their sayings. For ex- ample - Harriet Malcom—.“Am I blushing?” Jim Lively I was supposed to make a speech.” Kate Wilcox—“I think lie’s wonderful.” Bob Adams—“Dave has my French book.” Mildred 11 'ilI Work up some good Spec- trum material.” Fran7. Drinker Yes, Russell is my brother.” Helen Brown—“Virgil will drive me mad.” Ralph Jennings—“When do we cat?” Klcanorc Wells—“I’ll miss my train.” Dyke White— Yes, I’m crazy about you(?)” All the girls—“Oh, Evan, do my chemistry.” Modem Drama— Revised for Children Act I—Room 38, between III and IV periods. (Heroine seated at desk crying. Hero enters.) Hero—Chcero, Angeline. why weepcst thou? Angeline- My French, clear Kennewcll. Ten sentences I cannot do. Kennewcll—For you, I shall do them at noon even though I go lunchless. Angeline— My hero! (Bell rings. Hero exits. Heroine smiles.) Act II—Room 42. Noon period. (Three boys stand around hero who is strug- gling with Angeline’s lesson.) hirst l oy—Come, the dog joint club meets. Second boy—The pie and ice cream! Desire you them not? Third boy—A luscious lunch awaits. Do you ; come? Kennewcll—Leave me, villains. For her sake I forego those epicurean delights. (Boys give him rire de cheval and exit. A girl enters and seats herself in front of busy hero.) Girl—Oh, you do French so cleverly! Won’t you do a lil lesson for me? Pretty please. (Hero does not look up.) (lirl—I’ll give you the sweetest T. L. if you’ll help me. Kennewcll (angrily)—Disturb me not, wo- man. I work for my true love. (Girl exits in rage. Hero continues to work.) Act III—111 front of salle de francais. Be- ginning V period. 1 Kennewcll illist, the papers! Angeline- My hero! Kenncwell—One moment, fair one. I would fain pop a question. Angeline (blushing)—I wait. Kenncwell—Will you—cr—be my er—ah— my pirtner for the Us” dance? (lie heaves sigh of relief.) Angeline—Dee-lighted! Kennewcll (overwhelmed with joy) — So happy. Do you want me to do tomorrow’s lesson for you? (Angeline nods.) Curtain. June Class Record Shop Popular songs represented by popular seniors. Comrades—lAIden and Franz. They’re All Sweeties- -Harold Brown, h.v’rybody Calls Me Honey—Alice Reynolds. Oh, What a Pal Was Mary—Mary Alexander. lake Me To That Land of Jazz—Francis Greer. Don’t Take Advantage of My Good Nature— Helen Carman. Come On and Play With Me—Chauncey Wightman. A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody—Selma Wetteland. Oh Mother, I’m Wild—Dave Ilusted. I Want a Daddy Who Will Rock Me to Sic-p — Pauline Dick. If I Should Die on the Highway—-Walter Holman. df You Don’t Stop Making Eyes at Me— Earl Ward. Nobody Knows and Nobody Seems to Care— Ell-ar-bce. Just Leave It to Me—Humor Bidwrong. Wanted—never again! An editor of the Specter like this one. Specter Fans. We wonder what attracts: Harold Brown to the first floor? The chemistry students to Evan Lapham? Ralph Giesy to small girls? Bob Adams’ attention from school? Us all to the halls during study period? Ralph Jennings to food? Walter Holman to St. Helens Hall? Albert Grilly to room 36? Alden Bennett to red hair? Miriam Fox to the movies? Louie Coulter to the ladies? Dyke White to room 16? Franz Drinker to room 38 at noon? ❖ Harriet Malcolm ought to make a good stenographer. Homer Bidwell has an eye for business, especially in personal matters. Doug Young is attracted to violin playing, and we think it is the truth. George Williams has discovered a new method of keep- ing his hair in place. We all wish he would disclose it. Alice Reynolds is becoming a second Galli-Curci. The June Class is quite famous for the number of twins it has. Have you seen Palmer Miller's picture in this book? Helen Brown is becoming quite theatrical. ❖ What do you suppose makes Margaret Mathison mind Helen Carmen so well ? 97 The Spectrum June, 1920 P ranklin Strohecker will be really grown up when lie graduates. Do you suppose Jefferson will be able to continue after Janies Lively leaves? Oh? Marjorie, why all the letters from Seattle? I im Colvin is interested in private schools for girls. Where do you suppose Margaret Mett gets her perma- nent wave? It is rumored about school that Charles Layton is to take up a theatrical career. Katherine Wilcox is becoming cuter every day! Oh, my! what will Harold B. do with his little second termer if he has to lead the grand march at the Senior Prom with the Vice-President? Did you know that Francis Greer was at school two days last week? We wonder how long it will be before Thelma Eddy will enter the movies. Have you seen Janet Ettinger’s private car? Ambrose Murphy is such a clever lad! Claire Wallace loves to argue the point! Violets are blue, Roses are red. So is the hair On Miss Wood ward’s head. 98 a Genealogy of Great People NAME NOM DE PLUME FANATICISMS PROVERBS (Wise and Otherwise) Robert Adams ---- Mary Alexander .. Iva L. Ahrendt---- Harry Arnold .... Harry Ahrens ---- Florence Anderson Eleanor Bockman . Raeford Bailey -- Gladys Benson ---- Emily Bergen .... Alden Bennett ---- Lowell Beckendorf Isabel Blair .... Dorothy Blyberg .. Wylie Blaney .... Harry Blizard Homer Bidwell Frances Billups ... Gibson Bowles ____ Ruth Bjork ...... William Braum ... Dorothy Boggess .. Helen Brown ..... Harold Brown ____ Helen Carmen ... Ruby Carlson ____ Louis Coulter ... Gloria Collinson .. Alta Chenoweth .. Louise Chambreau “Bob” .............“Sitting in the front seat”. “Merry” ...........Telling fortunes ........... “Ivy” .............Coming to school ........... “Pat” .............Behaving himself ........... “Harry” ...........Having a sunny disposition “Flo” .............Going with J. G. Welch.. “Ellen” ...........Attending Zeta meetings... Rae” .............“His nice little ways”...... “Gladie” ..........“Doing Math'” .............. “Em” ..............“My one golden curl”........ “Al” ..............“Killing time” ............. “Becky” ...........Singing, forever singing ... “Teacher” ..........That school-marm air .... “Dot” .............Being an ingenue............ “Blaney” ..........Being a charming chap....... “Bliz” ............Being cold ................. “Biddy” ...........Being in love .............. “Miss Billups” ....Studying at noon-time....... “Hon. G. Bowles”.. Giving orations ............ “Ruthie” ..........Seeing things .............. “Will” ............Paying attention ........... “Dodo” ............Showing off ................ “Gloria” ..........Love for physics ........... “Homer” ...........Being a Dentist ............ “Carmen” ..........Telling jokes .............. “Rube” ............My erect carriage........... “Louie” ...........Winning medals ............. “Glory” ...........Spanish dancing ............ “Alta” ............Talking .................... “Low-ie” ..........Writing school songs........ “Better late than never.” “Push on ; keep moving.” “If dreams only came true.” “Virgil is the bunk.” Beauty of wit is all I find. Minding one's business is the best policy. “Ever the same was she.” “You never can tell.” The perfection of art is to conceal art. “Chance governs all.” Mix favorite (o'or is auburn. “Always happy.” Ambition has no rest. Happiness makes the world go round. Study and you study alone. Have a good time while you can. Ever in search of praise. None knew her but to like her. Great men are few. Your heart's desire be with you. As good as the golden glint of his hair. It takes two to keep a secret. Actions speak louder than words. All the girls are crazy about me. Follow the crowd. I stoop to no man. Loved and bashful was he. Blushing is the color of virtue. Talk not about your neighbors. Broad-minded and wise was he. NAME NOM DE PLUME FANATICISMS PROVERBS (Wise ami Otherwise) Faye Crawford .................... Harold Cummings .................. Florence Court ................... Merle Custer ..................... Pauline Dick ..................... Franz Drinker .................... Veronica Dolar ................... Marjorie Englehart ............... Thelma Eddy ...................... Lynne Enquist .................... Florence Evans ................... .Janet Ettinger .................. Vivian Feike ..................... Miriam Fox ....................... Tamaka Fukuda .................... Joseph Graham .................... Frances Greer .................... Carrie Grant ..................... Ruby Gillson ..................... Albert Grilley ................... Myron Goodell .................... Ralph Giesy ...................... Harold Hart ...................... Mildred Hall ..................... Rudolph Hammann .................. Blanch Harlow .................... Marie Hagenson ................... Jack Hendricks ................... Gladys Hicks ..................... Walter Holman .................... Mabel Howard ..................... Thelma Hill ...................... David Husted ..................... Irvin Healy ..................... Ruth Harvey ...................... Lillian Hendrickson .............. El wood Harrison ................. Virginia Ingman .................. “Fay” .............Pleasing Helen ................. Come” ............Making up Sr experiments....... “Flory ...........Being lively ................... Major Custer” ...His obliging ways ............... “Paul” ............Walking to school............... “Franz” ...........Going with Alden ............... “Vernie” ..........Trying to be good............... Marj” ............Being quiet .................... “Teddy ...........My gay, little ways ............ “Tiny” ...........Telling tales .................. “Florry” ..........Going with the Welch sisters____ “Jan” .............Her love for school ............ “Viv” .............Sitting behind Milly ........... “Merry ...........Talking to Hazel ............... Tama ............Working Sc with Helen S......... “Graham ..........Waiting for 12:30 to come....... “Greer ...........Bringing excuses on time........ “Harry ...........Minding her business............ “Rube” ............Wishing? ! ! ................... “Al” ..............The ladies ..................... “Mike” ............Going with Teddy ............... “Shorty ..........His mysterious ways ............ “Harold” ..........Jazzing ........................ “Milly ...........Telling secrets to Dot.......... “Rudolph .........Being a Science Shark .......... “Blanc’’ ..........Eating lunch in 10.............. Mary” ............My wonderful hair............... “Jackie” ..........Distributing class play tickets.. “Glady ...........Being good ..................... Walt ...........Talking with the girls.......... “Mabel ...........Being temperate ................ “Thel” ............Going with Vivian............... “Davy ...........Taking her (?) to the class play “Healy ...........Making himself known............ “Ruthie ..........Being domestic ................. Lij” .............Getting chemistry............... “El ..............Being studious ................. “Vir” .............Talking to Earl Ward............ Where there is a will there is a way. Swiftness is the spice of life. Patience is a soul virtue. Math, is the joy of life. I like “Lively people. Dance and stay young. Danger will wink on opportunity. I am not in the roll of common mortals. Changeable is as changeable does. Always t le same. Quiet and thoughtful was she. Always within the sixty-mile limit. School time flies too quickly. It is hard work to keep up to the fashion. Wise and prudent was she. He's arm’d with innocence. Thou hast the fatal gift of beauty. Of a retiring nature was she. Principle is ever my motto. A great athlete. On the road to fame. Ambition is no cure for love. Every human heart is human. Looks are deceiving. Beware the anger of a patient man ! Hairdressing is an art. Always the same was she. As bashful as a girl. Laugh and stay young. I strive for Glory. (Ah!) Time and places change. Follow the leader. Size does not make the man. Better to be heard and not seen. A stitch in time saves nine. Always wish for what you can get. I am the pink of courtesy. There’s luck in odd numbers. Anna Jackson ....... Christine Johns ---- William Jacobs ..... Ralph Jennings ..... Claude Kima ........ Minnie Kirkpatrick Evelyn Kissel ...... Christian Kisky ____ Evan Lapham ........ Charles Layton ..... Fanchon Lamereaux James Lively ....... Arthur Lynn ........ Doris Lake ......... Vivian Lansworth .. Ruby Lloyd ......... Rodney Langlois Mabel Manson ....... Kenneth Meserve ... Margaret Mett ...... Jessie Merriss ..... Jessie McDonald ____ Jean MacLeod ....... Dorothy Miller ..... Anna Meagher ....... Ambrose Murphy ... Emmett McCaffery . Ellen Murray ....... Gladys Morian ...... George Moore ....... Elsie Morris ....... Harriet Malcolm ... Elizabeth Moar ..... Kenneth McIntosh .. Margaret Mathisen . Alrick Magnuson ... Thomas Murton ...... Ruth Nixon ......... Katherine Nelson Ruth Nelson ....... Lawrence Payne .... Howard Palmer _____ “Ann” ............Thinking of lunch, Ith period... Chris” ..........Being a Naemphi ............... “Bill” ...........Being first in the quartette... “Fatty” ..........Being kiddish ................. “Claude” •........Looking wise .................. “Min ............Eating lunch with Florence W “Eve” ............School dances ................. “Kiskey” .........Singing in operas ............. “Editor” .........Helping others ................ “McComas” ........Dramatic situations ........... “Fauch” ..........Being thoughtful .............. “Jim” ............Going with Dick ............... “Art” ............Being pensive ................. “Dorie” ..........Giving dramatic readings....... “Viv” ............Going to the Alcazar .......... “Tom” ............Driving my car ................ “Rod” ............Striving to please ............ “Mabel” ..........Going with Faye ............... “Kenny” ..........Giving sympathy ............... Marg” ...........Walking ....................... “Cutie” ..........Dancing ....................... “Jess” ...........Pres, of Zetas ................ “Jean” ...........Being demure .................. “Dot ............Taking History'5 .............. “Ann” ............Looking perplexed ............. “Murphy” .........Extemporaneous speeches ....... “Latin ..........Writing editorials ............ “Ell” ............Writing poems ................. “Skinny” .........Looking for Mary .............. “George” .........Making motors ................. “Elsie” ..........Being quiet ................... “Harry” ..........Debating ...................... “Beth” ...........Enjoying the sunshine.......... “Ken” ............Doing Math..................... “Marj” ...........Being naughty ................. “Bushy” ..........Being fire chief hero.......... “Tom ............Being class mascot............. “Ruthie” .........Wearing a new hat.............. “Katey” ..........Being contented ............... “Rue” ............Getting help in Math........... “Larry” ..........Being President of Pi Delts.... “Howdy ..........Zeta, Pi Delt dance............ Blushes are maidenly. There’s a time for all things. Singing is good for the soul. Laugh and be fat. Silence gives consent. Virtue is her own reward. Turn over a new leaf. If you would be loved, love and be lovable. Think and live. This—a bud of promise. Ready of wit is he. Deeds not words. He’s a sure winner. Brevity is the soul of wit. I don’t know the word “can’t.” Went in one ear and out the other. Truth is beauty, beauty is truth. There's luck in even numbers. Practice makes perfect. She does all things perfectly. The more, the merrier. We are not afraid of mere boys. Boss of the job. She is no better than she should be. Hair is woman’s crowning glory. Wit and wisdom are born with thee. Glory is obtained by work. Neat, not gaudy. When our fortunes come true. Let the world slide. Delays always heed danger. Like a sweet melody was she. Live and love. Fortune befriends the bold. Better a bad excuse than none at all. Silence is golden. The only pebble on the beach. Every man is odd. Say what you mean. Kidding is my hobby. Fitted him to a T. Anything is easy when you know it. NAM K NOM I)E PI.UME FANATICISMS PROVERBS (Wise and Otherwise) o to Margaret Plock ......... Charlotte Pease ........ Mildred Pierce ......... William Pratt .......... Randall Parker ......... Gerald Ramsey .......... Louise Ross ............ Gurley M. Rees� ......... Oscar Richards ......... Alvinia Roth ........... Alice Reynolds ......... John Reisacher ......... Kenneth Robinson ....... Dorothy Sayer .......... Bertha Senn ............ Alice Schogren ......... Helen Smith ............ Laura Spall ............ Mildred Syferd ......... Franklin Strohecker..... Lucille Ward ........... Selma Wettcland ........ Samuel White ........... Dorothy Wenzel ......... Joyce Welch ............ Gladys Welch ........... Catherine Wilcox ....... Doris Warlen ........... Margaret Westgate ...... Eleanor Wells .......... Eleanor Woodward ....... Earl Sweaney ........... Alice Schmidt .......... Charlotte Schwicktenberg Alvin Strenpr .......... Gertrude Taylor ........ Emma Thoma ............. Truth Terry ............ “Miss Marat ' ......Teachinpr with Vivian ............ “Chari” ............Making rinprs .................... “Mill” ............. Looking wise .................... “Will” .............Doing stood ...................... “Ran” ..............Being: in the Live Wire office---- “Gerry” ............Being on time .................... “Lou” ..............Getting all E s................... “Rees” .............Singing in Assembly .............. Oscar M. D.”.......Lookinp: for Anita................ “Al” ...............Asking questions ................. “Alice” ...........Serenading ....................... “Johnny” ...........Composing music .................. “Ken” ..............Having: the boys rave over him... “Dorothy” ..........Working: during: assembly period “Berty’’ ...........Hair-dressing: ................... “Alice” ............Trying: to quarrel with Katherine “Honey” ............Saying: what she thinks........... “Laura” ............Studying: S,!G ................... “Mill” .............Having: troubles ................. “Tiny” .............Playing: the piano for the girls.. “Lue” ..............Writing: this column ............. Lillums” ..........Kidding: Charles ................. “Sam” ..............Doing: Virgil .................... “Dorty” ............Playing: with Ruby ............... “Joy” ..............Being: with Gladys ............... “Glad’’ ............Giggling: ........................ “Kate” .............“Going: with the crowd”........... “Dorie’’ ...........Getting: up early.............. “Peggy” ............“Playing: mother” ................ “Tuby” .............“Looking: for Claire”............. “Red” ..............“Being: a maid”................ “Earl” .............Being: faithful .................. “Alice” ............Talking: to Mr. Reed.............. “Chari” ............Going: to Reed College............ “Alvin” ............Attending: church socials...... “Gert” .............Being: good to myself............. “Em” ...............Getting: ahead of Charlotte.... “Terror” ...........Being: quiet ..................... A teacher’s life is blissful. Industry wards off wrong:. Here’s metal more attractive. A good little boy was he. Ever elusive was he. Scared out of his seven senses. Look ere you leap. Burning: the midnight oil. Every why has a wherefore. Let not your thoughts betray your feelings. As pretty as a rose is she. A genius of many things is he. The glory is all his. No temper has she. We are never satisfied. Failures are our stepping stones. A little person with a big mind. Striving to succeed. Set the cart before the horse. My good understanding is famous. Hammer not your neighbor. Let others share your troubles. Woman, the politician. I demand fair play. Two heads are better than one. “Joy” is with me always. Have a good time while you can. Conventional always. Looks are deceiving. Ever demure was she. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. There’s a time for all things. Time is precious. High are her aspirations. Duty before pleasure. Do unto others as you would they would do unto you. Follow the gleam. We are only young once. Helen Tuthill .... Una Upson ....... Helen Vandermost Earl Ward ...... Florence Walling Dyke White ...... Claire Wallace ... Ester Wright --- Edward Wightman George Williams . Wilmer West ----- Theresa Young ... Norman Youmans Dear” ---- Una” .... Helen ... Junior” “Flor” .... Dyke” ... “Senator . Ester” ... Ed” ...... Georgie . West” ... Theresa . Frenchy” Going with Eleanor ................... Being wise ........................... Knowing all things............•_...... Enjoying second period in the library.. Going to church....................... Automobiling ......................... Thinking of her”..................... Thinking hard ........................ Playing in the orchestra.............. Reading poetry ....................... Making his teacher laugh.............. Doing her best........................ Athletics ............................ Always true to her worth Ever prudent was she. Mix play with work. As proud as Lucifer. Helping others is a good deed done. Those wonderful Freshmen girls. Hale and hearty was he. Joy abiding is she. Duty bound is he. A great man to be. Nothing comes without hard work. Good as gold was she. At‘s the old boy, Louis.” (S Prom a I rain Window Helen Lee Brown Just a rushing by of landscape—wooded glades and trees, Here and there a green field glistens—happy flowers and bees. Xow a tiny stream flows gently through the greenest grass, 1 hen the surface of a river—calm as smoothest glass. Over all the fleeting picture gorgeous sunbeams play, Dancing o’er the gleaming river through the live-long day. Now the sun sinks lower in the flaming sky, 1 all trees cast long shadows—soon the day will die. Then all is fleeting shadows—dancing with the breeze, Haying with the gloomy, stalking ghosts of shady trees. Darker grows the picture fading from my sight. Now 'tis lost forever in the arms of Night. 104 Y 5 At© ©TimYYY DON’T Helen Lee Brown Every time I start to have some fun, My mother says, “Don’t.” ‘Nen course, I stop right quick An’ says, I won’t. It’s “Don’t take jam without askin’ me first, Or don't say bust, why can't you say burst? Or don’t take the biggest piece of pie. Don’t says ‘me’ when you’d oughter say 'I,’ Don't squeeze sister out of the swing, Or don't go swimmin’ ’cause it's early spring. Don't say had words like ‘gosh’ or ‘darn,’ Don't have a circus in the barn. Don’t do this or don't do that, Don’t make the had dogs chase the cat.” I wish my mother'd not say don't, 'Cause ’nen I have to say I won't. j THE BUG Even though one's acquaintance with those famous volumes,- “The Life of the Bee,” by Maeterlinck, and the “Life of the Fly,” by Fabre, be rather limited, it sounds well-read to mention them even in a respectfully distant way. The object of this article is to suggest to Spectrum contributors or to other writers of ability the necessity for a “Life of the Bug.” The bee is very well in her way, although uncertain of temper. The fly is in everyone’s way, and universally unpopular. But the great heart of humanity fails to appreciate the sorrows and hardships in a young bug’s experience. It seems that there are 44,449 words in the Chinese language. About one variety of bug for each Chinese word may readily be counted by a good counter, not otherwise engaged, for the bug is found in the air, in the earth, and in the water. It is also a guest of the milk bottle, the ice- cream cone and the hot dog. All the bug asks is food, 105 The Spectrum June, 1920 shelter, and a fair chance to educate his family. He lives each day as though it were his last, and generally it so happens, for the birds, the fish, the heel, and the swatter of man bring to the bug an untimely end. No bug lives long, no bug cares about long life; no bug amasses wealth, and no bug leaves a will. There are compensations to the hazardous life of the insect. His expenses are very moderate, because he does not have to reckon with monthly statements from the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker, and his clothes and millinery are all home-made. There is the ladybug, the potato bug, the little red Ford bug, and other bugs less respectable, which are not on the calling lists of our first families. With 44,449 varieties of bug as the friends of man. how much happier a world this would be. How the mosquito and the katydid would sing! hy, then, should we not learn the lesson of the life of the bug? Solomon said: “Go to the ant, thou sluggard, consider his ways and be wise.”—Margaret Westgate. ON WOMAN ENTERING POLITICS arum et mutabile semper femina.”—Virgfils Aenaid, IV, 569. You never can tell what the dear things will do next (very freely translated). Woman is out to revolutionize the world. Once started, she will out-Bolshevik the Bolshevik and cause the Red to look Pale Pink. She has, at last, gained an entrance into politics, and it will not be long until she has so changed the political system of this country that our descendants will wonder how we could ever have got along with such an antiquated and foolish system. C onsider, for a moment, how we nominate and elect our officials—our national officials especially. One is elected for serving the public, another is favored because of his promises, and still another is elected because of his willing- ness to obey party leaders. But now, all this is to be changed. Women will now enter the race for public offices. Man, ever susceptible to the charms of the fair sex, will vote, not on the basis of service to the public—no, absolutely not—but on the basis of beauty. What, think you, will be the result, gentle reader? 10G June, IQ20 The Spectrum Soon the great parties of the country will scour the land for the recognized beauties, male and female. The war cry of the future will be: “Facies pulchra in pulchra forma.” Moreover, the law will cease to be the profession into which the future politicians enter. Instead, physical training will become the great profession for future presidents. Even now woman is beginning the campaign. Only the other day one of the fairer sex gave as her reason for favoring Mr. Blank for president the fact that Mr. Blank was the most “bee—yutitur’ of the candidates. In vain I remonstrated, in vain I argued, but she stood firm—symbolic of the future. Visualize, if you can, a campaign of the future. Imagine the conventions with all the “furens quid femina posit,” as the various committees report the qualifications of the can- didates. This one is disapproved because he has a mole behind his left ear ; the next is rejected because he is too stout (what an awful example he would be to the rising generation! Others are thrown out because they use too much powder, or affect other things too feminine. But, at last, all is peaceful “along the Potomac.” The Democrats have had their eyes on the large vote of the South, especially Central America and Mexico, and so they nominate a Spanish Romeo. The Republicans have a most exciting convention. For a long time the delegates dally between a man and a woman. The beauty of the man is contrasted with the beauty of the woman. Yet, there has never been a woman in the White House (except as wife), and the party fears to set a precedent. But, at last, the die is cast-—the Rubicon is crossed! What an exciting campaign followed! Man is making his last stand against the onrush of woman, only to be overwhelmed. Woman has come into her own at last?— Samuel White. DICTIONARY OF THE JUNE, ’20, PEOPLE Lucille Ward Most popular boy—James Lively. Most popular girl—Selma Wetteland. Did most for the school—Mr. Jenkins. Best natured—Christian Kisky. Most energetic—?????? Best dressed—Franz Drinker. Wittiest—Ambrose Murphy. 107 The Spectrum June, 1920 Always ahead—Oscar Richards. Most religious girl—Florence Walling. Most religious boy—Alwin Streng. Best athlete—Louis Coulter. Best rustler—Wiley Blaney. Most dignified—Earl Ward. Most poetic—Helen Brown. Most gentlemanly—Tim Colvin. Most imaginative—Emmet McCaffery. Most modest—Evan Lapham. Brightest—All of us. Most literary—Mildred Hall. Most musical—Ruby Lloyd. Most satisfied—Harold Brown. Most angelic—Jean MacLeod. Best mixer—Joseph Weiser. Most demure—Eleanor Wells. Most emphatic—Claire Wallace. Most womanly—Elsie Morris. Most lovable—Katherine Wilcox. Most even-tempered—Faye Crawford. Most reliable—Miss Greathouse. Most promising—Dorothy Boggess. Most deserving—Frances Billups. Biggest grafter—Homer Bidwell. Most bashful—Jack Hendricks. Biggest bluffer—Walter Holman. Most motherly—Margaret Westgate. Most slim—William Jacobs. Longest—Ralph Geisy. Shortest—David 1 lusted. Indescribable—Anna Meagher and Truth Terry. Easy going—Alden Bennett. Slowest—None of us. Biggest feet—Whoever can claim them. Most romantic—John Reisacker. Prettiest girl—Afraid to decide. Most consoling—Kenneth Meserve. Most inquisitive—Palmer Miller. Most chummy—Hazel Cox and Miriam Fox. Most sociable—Whoever wants to be. Most matter of fact—Doris Lake. Pet of all the girls—Harry Arnold. Most talkative—Gwilym Rees. Greatest dreamer—Alice Reynolds. Most persuasive—Gibson Bowles. Most thankful—All the Seniors. 108 June, 1920 The Spectrum TALES OF TAILS L. H. Beckendorf The moon was shining very bright. o J o And all the stars were out; A cat came thru the dense black night, And hit a water spout. Quoth he, “If this is where I end. My finish do see.” Just then his wife came ‘round the bend, Xovv in the morgue lies he. Three little dogs at hop-scotch played And thought it lots of fun, l ut i 1 they saw a snake, which made Them beat it on the run. Eight fish were standing in a line Upon their tails so straight; All disappeared, the rest felt fine. Which proved that they were “ate.” ddie sun was told, one fine spring day, To shut his eyes and wink; And that is how they came to say That night is black as ink! 109 Chock’Wright Albert GriltejLj _ ■_ Homer Bidwell • 'Vb; ' V Harold Andie- Walter Ketay nnevo Jos-Wi jer. 110 COACH QUIGLEY’S PETS SETTING PACE FOR OTHER SCHOOLS Blue and Gold Shows Up Espe- cially Well in Track Events This Year. Jefferson has a reputation among followers of the inter- scholastic contests of always being able to produce a track team capable of bringing home first honors. This year is no exception. From the first it was plain that the Democrats had an A-l turnout, and the Columbia meet, which was reviewed in the May “Spectrum,” fulfilled to the fullest extent Mr. Quig- ley’s hopes. At Reed College Jefferson emerged undisputed victor over a field composed of all the strong schools of the city. The Blue and Gold annexed 4G points, while Washington, the nearest competitor, had but 38. The work of Grilley and Coul- ter in the sprints, Wright in the distance, and Bidwell in the weight events, was dis- tinctly pleasing to Coach Quig- ley. The next meet was the dual contest with Vancouver Hi, in which the Democrats made up for Vancouver’s victory at bas- ketball,—and then some. In spite of its most earnest en- deavors, the school across the river gathered but one first place, and Jefferson won eas- ily, 102 to 29. “Chuck” Wright was high-point man, with two firsts and a second, netting 13 points. The interscholastic track meet took place too late to be recorded in this issue of the Spectrum, but, on the strength of performances this year, Jef- ferson should be victorious. In closing this resume of the present year on the cinder- path. too much credit cannot be given to the boys for the pains they have taken to keep in condition for the meets, and to Coach Quigley for his un- ceasing work with the boys. JEFFERSON WINS CLOSE GAME FROM HILL’S CADETS, 5=1 Clark Twirls Fine Game, Al- lowing Five Hits. Jef. Makes Clouts Count. Jefferson clashed with Hill in a slow game Thursday, April 29th, on Multnomah Field, our boys emerging victorious by a count of 5 to l. The only fea- ture of the contest was Clark’s hurling. The Democrats' pitch- er fanned 10 men and allowed but 5 hits. Coach Clifford gives a very accurate imitation of a restless whirlwind during a tight place in a game. Whaddya think about green baseball suits for a “Blue and Gold” school? Russ Burton is playing in fine form this year. Up to the time of writing, he has secured at least one hit in every game. Ill n John Sullivan CAPTAIN Gault Patton n yti a cp hrst base Russe I (Burton 112 June, 1920 The Spectrum FRANKLIN HI TRIMS JEFFERSON, 7=1, IN ELEVEN INNINGS Lewis Coulter “Whole Noise” from Blue and Gold View, Youman’s Fielding Classy Had the fence around the left-field tennis court on Mult- nomah Field been four inches shorter. Jefferson would have defeated Franklin Hi, 8 to 7, in nine innings. With two out in the seventh frame, Coulter doubled to left. The ball hit the fence around the court, being two inches too low to clear the barrier. Lewis failed to score, his team mates leav- ing him on second. As a re- sult. the game went into extra innings, and Franklin won in the eleventh when Coulter and his teammates weakened. Coulter’s hitting and pitch- ing and Youman’s brilliant fielding furnished the thrills from the Democrats’ point of view. Our line-up: Coulter, p.; Burton, 1st b.; J. Sullivan, 2b.; Youmans, ss.; Kime, rf.; Andrews, c.; P. Sul- livan. cf.; Healy. Jasman, If.; Peck, ,3b. Lewis Coulter is some speed- burner. On the bases he steals everything but the catcher’s mask. Have you noticed Norm oilman’s hook-slide? Some slide! ! ! The school “pliat boy” (not Ralph) is getting to be a won- der with the discus and shot. MECHANICS WREST VICTORY FROM JEFF IN NINTH INNING Two Doubles and Bad Error Allow Benson to Win on Its Last Chance During the first half of the ninth inning of the game with Benson, Clark and the Blue and Gold defense both weak- ened at the wrong time. Re- sult: the Mechanics turned a 7-6 defeat into an 8-7 victory. It was a heart-breaking game to lose, as Jeff, had held the lead all the way. Kime, the Blue and Gold catcher, secured four clean singles in five trips to the rubber, his batting be- ing the only redeeming feature of the game from the Jefferson viewpoint. PREP SCHOOL DEFEAT SONS OF TOM. JEFFS FIELDING RAGGED Nine Errors Charged to Blue and Gold Players, Who Throw Game Away Could the game with Colum- bia have been terminated at the end of the seventh inning, it would have ended different- ly. As it was, Jeff’s pitcher weakened and the prep, school- ers scored five times in the last two innings, putting the game on ice. Norman Youmans was the only Jefferson player to have a chance who did not make an error. Can you imagine anyone get- ting spiked in the forehead? Ask Art Andrews. 113 Vtfwr Andrews CATCHER GeaMininaygfi CATCHER Norman Youttwis SHORT 6TOP Lewis Coulter Pl TC MER Ed. Pech THIRD BASE. L. flE-LD Irvins Healy PriceSullivarj SE-CoN D BASE R. Field Claude Kime Jo Wfia r 114 The motorist was a stranger in Boston's streets. It was evening. A man approached. “Sir,” said he, “your beacon has ceased its functions.” “What?” gasped the astonished driver. “Your illuminator, 1 say, is shrouded in unmitigated oblivion. “I don't quite---- “The effulgence of your irradiator has evanesced.” “My dear fellow, I------ “The transversal ether oscillations in your incandenser have been discontinued.” Just then a little newsboy came over and said: “Say, mister, yer lamp’s out! :; $ :J: “Really, I don’t think the medical profession has done as much to relieve suffering as some others, said her husband. “What, for instance? asked the wife. “Well, piano tuners.” 'fi 'i' $ “Well, here is a dog story that can’t be beat: My friend Smith had a most intelligent retriever. One night Smith's house caught fire. All was instant confusion. Old Smith and wife flew for the children and bundled out with them in quick order. Alas, one of them had been left behind! But up jumped the dog, rushed into the house, and soon reappeared with the missing child. Everyone was saved, but Rover dashed through the flames again. What did the clog want? Xo one knew. Presently the noble animal reappeared, scorched and burned, with—what do you think?” “Give it up, cried the eager listeners. “With the fire insurance policy, wrapped in a damp towel, gentlemen!” Jack—“Last night 1 dreamed my watch was gone. I woke up and felt under my pillow.” Bill—“Hard luck. It was gone, I suppose.” Jack—“Xo; just going.” 115 The Spectrum June, 1920 Vocal and Dramatic Studios of George Natanson Baritone Leads with the Alcazar Players €j| Mr. Natanson offers fifteen years of experience on the stage under this country’s largest managers. He has sung with the Henry W. Savage Grand Opera and also in many of the best comic opera companies. He has worked under such directors as George Marion and Cecil De Mille. Mr. Natanson has also sung with the Chicago Grand Opera Orchestra. In the legitimate drama he was been associated with such stars as Marie Wainwright, Sara Cowell Lemoyne, H. Cooper Cliff, Laura Nelson Hall. «H Mr. Natanson’s method of teaching is founded upon the results of his wide experience and thorough training. In his work he combines the methods of other successful teachers with his own, placing special emphasis upon those attributes which tend to give the voice permanency and beauty, as well as accuracy. In particular, the development of poise and dramatic action in his students will be a feature of Mr. Natanson’s work, as in his profession they are found to be as necessary a part of the singer’s education as the music itself. Studios: 703-4-5-6 Eilers Building Fourth and Washington Phone Main 1123 Patronize our Advertisers 11G June, 1920 The Spectrum Put a Keen Edge on Your Education A good general education is a finely-tempered tool. To make it serve you in the drive for success, it needs the keen edge of Special Business Training At Behnke-Walker’s a long list of men and women have been fitted for high and responsible positions in the business world through our thorough and efficient methods. The biggest and finest business school of the Northwest A Position for Every Graduate 99 Behnke - Walker BUSINESS COLLEGE DAY SCHOOL NIGHT SCHOOL Enter any time of year Fourth near Morrison They make our magazine possible 117 The Spectrum June. 1920 Don Marquis, the well-known humorist, says that his favorite story is that of the curate’s egg. The curate was breakfasting with the rector, and the latter noticed that his guest was not attacking his egg with vigor. “Isn’t your egg good ?” asked the rector. “Oh, yes, sir,” said the curate, anxious not to offend his “What are you burying in that hole?” asked Grey of his neighbor. “Just replanting some of my seeds, that’s all.” “Seeds!” exclaimed Grey angrily. “It looks more like one of my hens!” “It is one of your hens,” replied the digger. “The seeds are inside.” THRIFTY SUITOR He—“I am a poor man, you know.” She—“When we are married I can learn to cook, dear.” He—“Hadn’t you better practice while your father is supplying the raw materials?” Young Men's Clothes that combine gingery style with dependable quality From $40 The J.H. RANKIN CO. CLOTHIERS HABERDASHERS TAILORS 112 Sixth Street Just North from Washington One of our boys was in a hospital “over there” when a lady visitor came through. “My dear boy,” said the lady, “your neck is in a dreadful condition, isn’t it?” “Yes, ma’am; all raw.” “Dear, dear,” she said, “it is simply dreadful, isn’t it?” “Yes, ma’am,” replied the boy. “That’s why they call us rough necks, you know.” “Is it now?” solicitously asked the lady. “And how, pray, did your neck get into such a terrible condition ?” “Why, it was caused by wearing a sweater that was knitted by an American lady, ma’am.” Patronize our Advertisers 118 June, 1920 The Spectrum Kodflksfmd Finishing Pens: Pens ...All Makes Enlargements Free with $5.00 in Cash Receipts for Kodak Finishing PEN KODAK REPAIRING REPAIRING ■manBBDnBi They make our magazine possible 119 120 June, 1920 The Spectrum Some Smile! Some Boy! And yet at two months he weighed less than at birth. DENNOS FOOD, the Whole Meat Milk Modifier, is what put him on the road to health. After taking DENNOS and Fresh Milk for seven months, he scored 99lA%—now at eighteen months he again scored 99A%. DENNOS FOOD breaks up, or modifies, the curd of the milk and adds food elements that quickly build energy and vitality. DENNOS FOOD, an Oregon Product (sold throughout the U. S. A.), deserves the support of all who are interested in Better Babies. Dennos Food Makes Babies Thrive Sample and Literature Free DENNOS FOOD CO. OF PORTLAND Portland, Oregon 121 The Spectrum June, 1920 Ringo’sSweet Shop '“SwSnks 120 Kiiiingswonh Fresh Home-Made Candies RUDDICK-Hats of Merit” Now at our new location 345 Washington Street NOTHING TO FEAR Lady—“Little boy, isn’t that your mother calling you?’' Little boy—“Yes’m.” Lady—“Why don’t you answer her?” Little hoy—-“Pop’s away.” School Books Bought, Sold and Exchanged HYLAND BOOK STORE 204 FOURTH STREET. Between Taylor and Salmon QUITE IMPOSSIBLE Wix—“I see by this paper that more than one-half of the world’s population is feminine.” Nix—“I don’t believe it. If it were so how do you account for the fact that one-half of the world doesn’t know how the other half lives?” Suits pressed 45c Suits cleaned and pressed, S1.25 JOY, The Tailor 104 Fourth Street, near Stark Branch No. 1: 151 Grand Avenue Branch No. 2: 1042 Belmont Street Shirts Neckwear Hats 286 Washington Street Patronize our Advertisers 122 June, 1920 The Spectrum Unsurpassed Assortments of Dependable Quality Merchandise MOST MODERATELY PRICED DRY GOODS FANCY GOODS, READY-TO-WEAR GARMENTS MEN’S FURNISHINGS AND SHOES First Tramp: What are you crying about ? Second I ramp: A horse ran away with my brother, threw him out of the wagon and he’s been laid up for six months. First Tramp: Why, that’s nothing. My brother had a terrible accident, too, only his was different; he ran away with the horse. He’s laid up for six years. He John Henry had a guest to dinner the other day and during a pause in the conversation the infant terrible spoke up: “I wish 1 was you.” “Do you, little boy, and why do you wish you were me?.........Caus you don’t get your ear pinched when you eat vittles with your knife.” A. R. ZELLAR CO. Jumenti Set it ice 592-4 Williams Avenue East 1088 C 1088 They make our magazine possible 123 The Spectrum June, 192c Economical, well- dressed industry is bound to win. Notice the fellows at the top. Notice how they’re clothed in the latest fashion ? The smile of success radiates from the hap- py throng, who are win- ning life’s battles. Get into one of our K i rsc h ha u m Special Suits at $40, $50 or $65 and feel a few success vibrations. PHEGLEY CAYENDER Comer Fourth and Alder Streets Patronize our 124 Whistler, the artist, had a French poodle of which he was extravagantly fond. Once the dog became ill and the artist sent for Sir Morcll Mackenzie, the great throat specialist. Doctor Mackenzie was not pleased, but lie prescribed for the dog. The next day he sent for Whistler in great haste, and the artist, believ- ing that he had been sum- moned on a matter con- nected with the poodle, dropped his work and has- tened to Sir MoreU’s house. “Mr. Whistler,” said the surgeon gravely, “I see that my front door needs paint- ing very badly. Can you do it for me?” ❖ HE WON An Irishman, passing a shop where a notice was dis- played saying that every- thing was sold by the yard, thought he would play a joke on the shopman, so he entered the shop and asked for a yard of milk. The shopman, not in the least taken aback, dipped his fin- gers in a bowl of milk and drew a line a yard long on the counter. Pat, not wish- ing to he caught in his own trap, asked the price. “Sixpence,” said the shop- man. “All right, sorr,” said Pat. “Foil it up; I'll take it.” A dvertisers June, 1920 The Spectrum George Wilber Reed Dramatic Tenor and Vocal Teacher Studio : 414 Tilford Building Tenth and Morrison Residence Phone: Main 8168 Special Summer Kates to Jefferson Students What the Press Says of Mr. Reed's Work London, England The Alexander Palace Choral Society, in ‘‘Israel in Egypt'’ “The most striking piece of solo singing was given by Mr. Reed.”—The Morning Post. Perth, Scotland Moody Manners Grand Opera Company in “Carmen.” “Nothing could be finer than the Don Jose of Mr. Reed.”— Perthshire, Courier. Danzig, Germany D’Albert’s “Tiefland” “The house rose to Mr. Reed, shouting ‘Bravo!’ with wild enthusiasm after each act. At the close of the opera Mr. Reed was recalled fourteen times, amidst deafening applause. This is all the more gratifying for the American artist, as the Danzig public is proverbially cool and reserved.”— The Era of New York copying Danziger Zeitung. Trier, Germany The Flying Dutchman by Wagner. “Erik in ‘The Flying Dutchman’ is a somewhat insipid figure, which few, of our tenors know how to properly handle. Mr. Reed surprised us by his remarkably artistic interpretation, both in voice and acting, of the amorous huntsman. We have never had an ‘Erik in Trier to equal his.”—Trierische Zeitung. Portland, Oregon “No finer work than Mr. Reed's in tone production, artistic phrasing, and distinct articulation has been heard in Portland in years.”— Oregonian. “Mr. Reed has a large voice of wide range, and of very pleasing quality. That he is the finished artist was quickly discovered in the opening numbers.”—Journal. “The soloist. Mr. Reed, a grand opera tenor from Berlin and London, captured his audience early in the evening. His voice, of fine sympathetic quality and dramatic in character, made a strong appeal, while his phrasing and enunciation were artistically satis- factory.—Telegram. They make our magazine possible 125 The Spectrum June, 1920 Matthieu Drug Co. Williams Avenue and Russell East 662 C 1855 Woodlawn 1449 L. A. TATE CO. The Best of Groceries, Fruits and Vegetables. 971 Williams Avenue Corner Going Street FINANCING THE ROAD Road Commissioner—“But who is to pay for such a fine road as you propose ?” Citizen—“The motorists. It will tempt them to break the speed laws and their fines will pay for the road.” JEFFERSON LUNCH ROOM ANI) CONFECTIONERY FOR GIRLS EXCLUSIVELY Good Things to Eat at All Times “My sister’s feller kicked my dog yesterday,” said Willie, “but I’ll get even with him all right.” “How’ll you get even?” asked Willie’s friend. “I’m goin’ to mix quinine,” said Willie, “with my sister’s (ip rouge.” Woodlawn 9 Work Guaranteed MAC’S SERVICE STATION Repairing Storage Supplies 858 Union Avenue North Phone Woodlawn 1078 A. A. STOLTZ CO. Plumbing and Gas Fitting Furnace and Hot Water Connections Shop: 773 Williams Ave. Patronize our Advertisers 126 June, 1920 The Spectrum Skolny Clothes for Young Men and Boys THE creations of designers who devote all their thoughts to the execution of models that harmonize with the personalities of the wearers. Tailoring that is literally faultless in every detail. Suits showing touches of art and originality that make them individual. Distinctive styles that young men and hoys sanction. Exclusively at this Store. BEN SELLING Leading Clothier Morrison at Fourth Street THE WELL-SPOKEN SERGEANT An old drill sergeant was so much given to using bad language toward his men that some of them complained about it, and the commanding officer told him he must stop the abuse and soften his expletives. The following morning the sergeant was in charge of a very ragged squad, and after keeping silence for a consider- able time he eventually burst out with: “Bless you, my pretty dears! You know what I mean.” Sam—“Mamma, are people ashamed to say their prayers ?” Parent—“Why, no, child, what put that into your head ?” Sam—“Well, what do they hide their eyes for then ?” SKOOG HENSON Quality Grocers 1142 Union Avenue, N. Portland, Oregon C 2578 PHONES Woodlawn 2724 They make our magazine possible 127 The Spectrum June, 1920 GEO. BETZ SON Florists FLOWERS FOR ANY AND ALL OCCASIONS Greenhouses and Store at 697-699 Williams Avenue (corner Cook) AN EYE TO TRADE He had been fishing patiently for several hours without a bite when a small urchin strolled up. “Any luck, mister ?” he called out. “Run away, boy,” growled the angler, in gruff tones. “No offense, sir,” said the boy, as he walked away, “only 1 just wanted to say that my father keeps a fish-shop down to the right, sir.” THE SHOP OF NEW IDEAS Hatter and Haberdasher 320 Washington at Sixth Butterfield Bros. MAMJFACTURING .1EWELERS AND OPTICIANS We make a specialty of Class Pins, Badges, Ete. Tools and Supplies lor Arts and Crafts Second Floor, Mohawk Bldg. Third and Morrison Streets A MODERN VERSION A little girl in Sunday school was telling the story of the creation. “Adam so,” she said, “Eve was made out of Adam’s rib, and—” “My ma says,” put in Peter Harris, who was the son of the laziest man in town, “that she wouldn't so much mind being a man's rib. It’s being a man’s back- bone that makes her mad. PRECAUTION UNNECESSARY “Don’t you know that you will be punished for fishing on Sunday ?” asked the shocked minister of the little boy on the river bank. “Not on your life!” re- •� plied the young angler. “Dad's fishing himself a lit- tle way down the stream.” Patronize our Advertisers 128 June, 1920 The Spectrum Mellow as Moonlight They make our magazine possible 129 The Spectrum June, 1920 GOLDSMITH Guaranteed SPORTING AND ATHLETIC SUPPLIES TENNIS RACKETS, SHOES AND BALLS FINE FISHING TACKLE CAMP EQUIPMENT Honeyman Hardware Co. Fourth at Alder Park at Glisan “Can you tell me, Johnny,” asked the fair young teacher, “where shingles were first used?” “YesTn,” answered modest Johnny, “but I’d rather not, ma'am.” EAT MT. HOOD ICE CREAM EVERY DAY It’s good for you LANDLADY NO POETESS Editor—“I can't use your poem, but you might leave your address.” Bard—“If you don’t take the poem I sha’n’t have any address.” Caps Caps Phone Main 8882 See Our !2rwd cfc the Caps j Mat New Caps ' Vhat man Straws 349 Washington Street Majestic Theatre Building Patronize our AdverUsers June, 1920 The Spectrum Bread has the largest place in the family diet and its food value, wholesomeness, and nourish- ment depends on the quality of the flour used. Crown Flour is always uniform and of the high- est quality. Try it and you will be delighted with the results. WHEN JAIL LOOMS BRIGHT Mr. Younghusband reached home late for dinner. “I got caught for speeding on the way home,” he ex- plained rather sheepishly. “Have to appear tomorrow morning and get ‘ten dollars or fifteen days.’” Mrs. Younghusband fervently clapped two blistered little hands. “What a providence!” she cried devoutly. “Take the fifteen days, John! The cook has just left!” GOOD SHOT FOR ONE CENTIMETER The flame leaps from a monolith centimeter gun, hurl- ing a ton of shattering death at some gentle village twenty miles away. The flame leaps and licks into the heavens and the noise of it deafens men for miles around, shaking the earth and rattling the pots and pans in London over the water. All work guaranteed Will be pleased to have your patronage A. J. WALDEN High Cla ss Shoe Repairer Vi din. 3033-Res. Wdln. 1415 1038 Union Avenue. Near Alberta They make our magazine possibli 131 AS THE CLASS PROPHET WORKS r TOW. TELL HE WE Ee ’BOUT THE CLASS! U lntjUfn JofC for my YKitian! s EVERY H005eWeV NEE 05 THIS ETC-ETC. THE LVE-WRES will HAKE fcOOD SALESMEN. HEY!! BILL THE l£FT-HAI1D£0 HOOKEY-WRENCH!! K I -� 1 SOME OP THE mCHiniSTS HAY START FORD HOSPITALS Patronize our Advertisers 132 June, IQ20 The Spectrum The Sign of the Otter Always Signifies the Best Quality Obtainable HUDSON GRAM CO., City They make our magazine possible The Spectrum June, kjjo Fergus Reddie School of Acting Professional instructions in Acting, ocal Expression, Public Speaking, Play writing and Stage Cralt Special Summer Courses For terms call at 603-8 Eilers Bldg. 287 Washington Street Phone Main 4836 Norvell Thompson, Mgr. It was the good fortune of an automobile tourist to have his machine break down in front of a farm the owner of which augmented his income by serving good board to persons who fled the city in summer. “Fine scenery here,,, remarked the motorist as the farmer obligingly helped him on the repairs. “It is just wild enough to be attractive.” “Yes, was the reply, “it might be worse.” “I don’t suppose you have any wolves round here?” “No, not exactly,” chuckled the farmer, “but if you want to see the next best thing jes’ stay here till I open the dinin’- room doors.” Private Nelson got his leave, and made what he con- ceived to be the best use of his holiday by getting married. On the journey back at the station he gave the gateman his marriage certificate in mistake for his return railway ticket. The official studied it carefully, and then said: “Yes, my boy, you’ve got a ticket for a long journey, but not on this road.” School Supplies close at hand. The J. H. S. Lunch Room lias all sorts of Note Books, Typewriting paper, Fillers, etc. Patronize our Advertisers June, 1920 The Spectrum CAFETERIA 1 Owned and operated by 3 BLAZIER KLEIN Sixth and Alder Streets Portland, Oregon “You poor boy ’ said the visitor after watching little Eddie eat. “YouYe starved, ain't you?” “No’m,” said Eddie. “I’m always starved before my dinner, but after I've had my dinner, I’m only just hungry.” Suits Cleaned We Call and Deliver Suits Pressed Modern Dyers and Cleaners E. W. Dietderich, Proprietor We do all kinds ot Cleaning, Dyeing, Pressing Altering and Repair Work Indies’ and Gents’ Tailoring at Moderate Prices Phone Marshall 2114 173 West Park St., Portland, Oregon “I once knew a man who went hungry in order to buy feed for his horse,” said Jones. “I can understand his sentiments,” said Smith. “Many's the time I have cut down on meat and potatoes in order to buy gasoline.” Work Called For and Delivered G. C. CHISM E. WHITAKER Mason Tire Shop vulcaniziim; retreading NEW AND USED TIRES All Work Guaranteed 839 Union Ave. N., near Shaver Phone Woodlawn 2629 T irv make our magazine possible 135 The Spectrum June, 192c Leach s Pharmacy EVERYTHING FOR THE STUDENT 674 East Broadway Corner Nineteenth Street Up-to-Date Cleaning Tailoring and Repairing ( neatly done. YAJ 111 I Iclll V and Pressing Good Work and Quirk Service our Specialty. Ingersoll Fanning 496 Union Avenue North Phone East 258 MERELY A SUGGESTION “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” quoted the sentimental youth.” “Oh, I don’t know,” returned the matter-of-fact girl. “Did you ever try presents?” PIEDMONT MARKET 1160 UNION AVE. N. john popp Phone Woodlawn 17 BRIGHT BOSTON PUPIL “What is the meaning of ‘alter ego'?” asked the teacher of the beginners' class in Latin. “It means the ‘other I ” responded a pupil. “Give me a sentence containing the phrase.” “He winked his alter ego.” J. N. Rinehart’s Cash Grocery j 846 Union Avenue North Woodlawn 3452 J3 udeimua'A � • M «1 .O iUTiONIB irOATiNC COOO1 Baseball Goods Track Goods Mention this ad and get school discount. Patronize our Advertisers June, ip-’O The Spectrum Eat HIGH JINKS the Loganberry Jazz Confection Eat a HIGH JINKS in the morning, At noon, and then at night, Always eat a HIGH JINKS, The bite that brings delight. Russell (filbert Co. OVERHEARD IN BOSTON The cyclist was a stranger in Boston's streets. That was evident from the cautious manner in which he picked his way through the half-empty thoroughfare. It was eve- ning. The penny-a-liner approached. “Sir,” said he. “your beacon has ceased its functions.,, “Sir?” gasped the cyclist, dismounting from his machine. “Your illuminator, I say, is shrouded in unmitigated oblivion.” “Really ! But I don't quite—” “The effulgence of your irradiator has evanesced.” “My dear fellow, I—” “The transversal ether oscillations in your incandenser have been discontinued.” Just then an unsophisticated little newsboy shouted from across the street: “Hey, mister, yer lamp's out!” EXPERIENCED JEWELER Customer—“I—ah—er—urn—” Jeweler (to assistant)“Bring that tray of engagement rings here, Harry.” They make our magazine possible 107 o I The Spectrum June, 1920 Carl G. Anderson Co. Groceries and Meats a Specialty TWO STORES Mississippi and Shaver Street. Woodlawn 1698 121 East Lombard Street. Woodlawn 4740 HOW COULD SHE TELL One of the girl ushers in a Flatbush theater had a problem offered her the other evening. She was showing two women to their seats. “Is the show this evening fit for church women to see?” asked one of the pillaresses of a Flatbush congregation. “I—I don't know,” responded the girl. Then she brightened. “You see,” she said, “I don’t have no time to go to church.” CLEVER MAN “Dearest,” said the young mother, “Fve decided on a name for baby. We will call her Ermyntrude.” Her husband disapproved the name, but, knowing if lie said so, his wife would insist, he remained engrossed in thought a few seconds, then replied: “That will do admirably, my dear. My first sweet- heart’s name was Ermyn- trude ; so she will take it as a compliment.” The baby, it may be said, was called Jane. “This,” said the goat, as he turned from the tomato can and began on the broken mirror with relish, “this is indeed food for reflection. Cut out and present this ad It is good for 50 CENTS IN CASH on any FOUNTAIN PEN you may select from our stock, and a year’s guarantee of good service besides. Bring in your pens to be repaired. Woodard, Clarke Co. Wood-lark Bldg. Alder at Wert Park Spectrum Ernest’s Confectionery 1156 Union Avenue THE BEST IN CANDY AND ICE CREAM School Supj)lies m Patronize our Advertisers 138 June, 1Q20 The Spectrum Golden Rod Cereals Are reliable products, the perfection of experienced milling and excellent in quality This Package is the sign of Good Quality GOLDEN ROD MILLING CO. Portland, Oregon The one who thinks our jokes are poor, Would straightway change his views, Could he compare the jokes we print With those we do not use! SERVICE CAR at the INTERSTATE GARAGE AUTO REPAIRING GOODYEAR TIRES MacLar Storage Battery Service Telephones Woodlawn 219 1100 Union Avenue N. Residence Woodlawn 4444 Portland, Oregon REMOVAL NOTICE George .(affectionately)—“Helen, dear. I've had some- thing hesitating on my lips for some time now and--” Helen (interrupting)—“Oh, George, how I do hate those little moustaches.” Williams Avenue Planing Mill Frederick J. Berger Albert Berger Windows, Doors and Frames, Mouldings and Finishing Lumber, Lumber and Shingles, Cab- inet Work, Sherwin-Williams Paints. Phones Woodlawn 1522, C-2465 831 Williams Avenue Portland. Oregon They make our magazine possible 139 The Spectrum June. 1920 Bradford Clothes for Young Men Thirty Dollars to Fifty Well Styled Well Fitting 285 Washington Street Between Fourth and Fifth HIS REAL ACCOMPLISHMENT little boy was on his knees recently one night, and auntie, staying at the house, was present. It is a pleasure, she said to him. afterward, “to hear you saying your prayers so well. You speak so earnestly and seriously, and mean what you say. and care about it. Ah! he answered, ah. but. auntie, you should hear me gargle! % TRUTHFUL SCOT lawyer was examining a Scottish fanner. “You . affirm that when this happened you were going home to a meal. Let os be quite certain on this point, because it is a very important one. EV good enough to tell me. sir. with as tittle prevamatton as possible, what meal it was too were goittg hkHine tO. svYou would Klee to know what meal it was? ” said the Scotsman. SNYcs. sir: t shk aM tike tv kn w. irepfcel the cworeeL -tcratx ante! fctt$ eessivety.. store you: teHl the tinitfoC' SA VV. fcfoettu. it was fust oatmealT G 0 O D EATS nm The Den m miL 5 th.vx:h SOW� . -- -j- , .. , 'V ..Xi; .v;,— iff. ttiSifo Jink f?tttr nni5 ntr .JSJfsurrucri littt June, 1920 The Spectrum BUSINESS COLLEGE Fliedner Building. Tenth and Washington Don l Waste Time and Money At Holmes, each student advances as rapidly as work can be mastered, regardless of the progress of anyone else. Most students are sent to positions in five or six months, many in four or five, some in three to four. Improve Vacation Time by a course in our excellent school. An earnest student can prepare for work in a short time: and a position is certain, since we cannot meet half the call made on us for office help. Open All The Year Call, phone, or write for further particulars. Broadway 1821 A SPORTING COMPROMISE A canny Scot owned a wonderful badger it was reported no dog could tackle. However, a friend of his had a dog he proposed to back against the badger, and a match was in due course made for £100, to come off in two months' time. As the time drew near there were rumors that all was not right with the dog, and the Scot's friends were making sure of victory for him. Imagine their surprise and disgust when they heard that McTavish had accepted £50 as a compromise in lieu of the £100. “You've been done, Mac, said one of them. “That dog is so mangy and unfit he could not kill a rat. ‘Ah, ah! said McTavish, “I dare say, but my badger is dead. A person inquired at one of the railway stations what time the 7:45 train would start and was told a quarter to eight. “Rless me, he exclaimed, you are always changing the time on this line. They wake our magazine possible 141 The Spectrum Moved Cohimbial STORAGE I BATTERY CO. H H. M. NISBET, Manager Any Battery Inspection Park and Couch Portland, Oregon Telephone: Broadway 546 DELICIOUS CANDIES Purest Materials made under ideal Sanitary Conditions. Fruits, Nuts, Caramelas Creams, Toffee, and Chews. Ideal Gifts PORTLAND CHOCOLATE SHOP 245 Morrison Street June, 1()20 HE HAD ONE “I say old man, do you happen to have a five you are not using?” “Why, yes; here you are.” “Thanks! But, I say, this looks like a counterfeit.” “It is. That’s why Pm not using it.” ROUNDABOUT CONCLUSION “It’s an extended corridor that has no ultimate termina- tion,” mused the absent- minded professor, as he pa- tiently plodded around the revolving doorway. ❖ “Mow did that private ever get in here?” asked a corporal of a captain as he looked at a boy who seemed to be a physical weakling. “Walked in backward.’’ said the captain, “and the guard thought he was going out.” ❖ At the age of sixteen Alice Jones wrought poetic changes in her name. She signed herself “Alysse Jones.” Thus designated, she entered a new school. The head mistress asked her name. “Alysse Jones,” she re- plied. “A-l-y-s-s-e.” “Thank you,” said the teacher. “And how are you spelling Jones now?” Patronize our Advertisers 142 June, 1920 The Spectrum After High School---What? For the American boy or girl who is ambitious to make the most of himself and his opportunities, there can he hut one answer to that question —After High School, a college education. Never were the opportunities so great; never the call so urgent for trained educated men and women to occupy the places of trust and leadership in the affairs of the nation. The University of Oregon is maintained by the people of the state in order that no young man or woman may he denied the advantages of a university education. The University embraces the College of Literature, Science and the Arts, and the Schools of Law, Commerce, Architecture, Journalism, Education and Music. Tuition is free and expenses low, with many opportunities for self-help. Distinctive of Oregon” are the faculty of experts, the liberal and compre- hensive curriculum, the beautiful campus, the democratic relations among the students and faculty, and the famous “Oregon Spirit ” For a catalogue, a copy of the elaborately illustrated booklet Student Life at “Oregon,” folders on Education for Citizenship, Science and Civilization, Student Activities at “Oregon,” etc., or for any information, address The Registrar. University of Oregon, Eugene, Oregon. ADAM’S WRONG START “Mania,” said Edith, “when the first man started to spell ‘psalm' with a p' why didn't he scratch it out and start over ? A chaplain who was making his rounds in the base hos- pital of a large cantonment, stopped at a negro's cot and said, “Sam, how is it that you are in bed today? You were quite well when I spoke to you yesterday. “The negro replied, “Well, palison, Ah done was kicked by a mule ' “What in the name of goodness had you done to him that lie should kick you ? “Ah guess Ah done fo’got to salute, suh. Teacher: What happened to Babylon ? Students: It fell. Teacher: And what happened to Nineveh? Students: Destroyed. Teacher: And to Tyre? Clever Student: Punctured. They make our magazine possible 143 The Spectrum June, 1920 FENNING’S We have it or can make it We are Food Specialists 147 Killingsworth Avenue 827 Mississippi Avenue Phone Woodlawn 663 SHE KNEW The teacher had written 92.7 on the blackboard, and to show the effect of multiplying by ten, rubbed out the deci- mal point. She then turned to the class and said: “Now, Mary, where is the decimal point ?” “On the duster, miss,” replied Mary. ALL SCHOOL CLOCKS DO THAT Mother (to Frank)—“How is it that you're late home nearly every afternoon ?” Frank—“Well, no wonder; we’ve got such a big clock in our school.” Mother—“Why, what has the clock to do with it?” Frank—“ ’Cause it's so big it takes the hands an awful long while to get round it. If we had a clock like papa’s little one, I’d get home a great deal quicker. A friend of ours the other day was accosted in one of our streets with the words: “Do you know the time, sir.' Upon which he pulled out his watch and, after consulting it, returned it to his pocket, coolly replying to the interroga- ter: “Yes, sir, I do,” and then walked off. Where Young Men find the better things t() W Cel r FIFTH AND MORRISON Patronize our Advertisers 144 June, 1920 The Spectrum What Occupation Shall I Select Telephone Operating as a vocation for young women offers important and fascinating work in which permanent and continuous employment is assured. Operating Employees work in a refined and wholesome atmosphere under the direction of kindly women of mature judgment, and do not come in personal contact with the public. Previous experience is not required as all operators, immediately on employment, are given a short course of instruction and are paid immediately upon entering course. Increases in pay are regularly given. There are many opportunities for promotion to supervisory and executive positions. Rest and Retiring rooms are provided in all offices and at the larger offices lunchrooms are provided where employees may secure meals at approximately cost. For further information call at The Pacific Telephone Telegraph Company Room 601, Sixth Floor Park and Oak Streets They make our magazine possible 145 vacatiom dreams HUNTING THE WHAZZlT IN BEVONIA PICKING THE DAINTY EDELWE ISS IN THE MTS OF SWITZERLAND BLANK!TY f BLAn k-- THERE flY CAST CENT -STRANGERS receive A WARN RECEPTION Vv AT THE Ca n n IQAL Jvw 9. isles A FISHING TRIP Patronize our Advertisers 146 June, 1920 The Spectrum FREE With $5.00 worth of Kodak Finishing we give one 8x10 enlargement, FREE. Buy that Kodak on Terms at SANDY’S Sure,—we buy, sell, rent and exchange Kodaks Kodaks and Pens Repaired We are the only kodak establishment in Port- land that owns and manages our own repair department. See us for service. Films Developed and Printed In at 1, at 6 they’re done. Service With a Smile TWO STORES 329 Washington St. 124 Broadway They make our magazine possible 147 The Spectrum June, 1( 20 ORDERING THE FAMILY ROUND That raw recruits are sometimes not so raw as their captains think is j.roved by an incident that took place in the Philippine Islands while the Fifteenth Cavalry was stationed there. A recruit was on sentry duty for the first time, and the officer of the day, with his wife, his daughter and his dog, was passing. The sentry called, “Who goes there?” The captain replied promptly, “Capt. Jones, wife, daughter and pup.” The recruit hesitated only an instant then said curtly, “Captain, advance and be recognized! Wife and daughter, mark time! Pup, at ease!” DAD WAS WISE When the conversation turned to the subject of romantic marriage this little anecdote was volunteered by the politician: “So you were married ten years ago. Took place in the church, I suppose, with bridesmaids, flowers, cake, and the brass band?” “No; it was an elopement.” “An elopement, eh? Did the girl's father follow you?” “Yes, and he has been with us ever since.” PLATES IN THIS ISSUE MADE BY OREGON ENGRAVING COMPANY 239 Pittock Block. Portland. Oregon Patronize our Advertisers 148 June, 1920 The Spectrum Nixon’s Millinery Being located out of the high rent zone enables us to sell for less. We carry one of the largest assortments of snappy up-to-the-minute hats in the city. If you want the newest for less, see us. 428 Washington Street, Between 11th and 12th The station master, hearing a crash on the platform, rushed out of his room just in time to see the express that had just passed through disappearing round the curve and a disheveled young man sprawled out perfectly flat among a confusion of overturned milk cans and the scattered con- tents of his traveling bag. “Was he trying to catch the train ?” the station master asked of a small boy who stood bv, admiring the scene. “He did catch it,” said the boy happily, “but it got away again!” QUALITY SERVICE Phone East 4327 EAST BROADWAY AT FIFTEENTH MOTHERS WILL APPRECI- ATE THIS While the war was still going on two English moth- ers were talking about the jam ration. “Wot’s four ounces of jam a week to my biby!” said one of them. “Why, I used to wash an ounce off his face after tea hevery day!” They make our magazine possible 149 The Spectrum June. 1920 Nifty Summer C. C. BRADLEY CO. 352 Washington Street Near Park HIDE AND GO SEEK An aviator tells this true story of his training in a South- ern camp during the war: He and a comrade were sent on a rather long trip in a dirigible as a part of their training, and while they were in the air they became confused and lost their way. Accordingly, they descended until they could see a laborer at work just below them. Shutting off the engine, they waited until they were within hailing distance and called out, “I say, where are we?” You can't fool me. You're up in that there balloon,” was the unexpected reply. Isaac wished to consult a physician and asked a friend to recommend one. “And what does he charge? asked Isaac, making a note of the doctor's name. “Five dollars for the first visit, three dollars for suc- ceeding calls,” was the reply. Half an hour later Isaac entered the physician's office and gave this greeting: “Good morning, doctor. I'm back again.” Edward Holman Son Funeral Directors Third and Salmon Streets Main 507, A 1511 Patronize our Advertisers 150 June, 1920 The Spectrum ■J— ■ jt.:'. ■:;r Good Looking is the general remark expressed of the stylish miss who buys her apparel at Portland’s big specialty shop. Smartest of Furs, Too will always be found at lowest prices. s o MTABUSHED FURS 9- 5 864 BROADWAY HER MEMORY SYSTEM A portly Dutch woman applied at the postoffice for a money order to send to her son in the Far East. She told the clerk she had left her son’s letter at home, but said he was “some place out by China dot sounds like der noise an automobile makes.” The clerk smiled and, turning to another nearby, he said, “What kind of a noise does an automobile make, Joe?” “Honk, honk!” the other suggested. “Yah, dot’s it!”- exclaimed the woman, her face bright- ening. “Honk, honk, dot’s her place.” So the clerk made the order payable at Hongkong, and the woman went away happy. SPENDING ANGUS’S MONEY FOR HIM “Moo did ye earn the thrippence, Angus?” asked a mother of her hopeful son, who was exhibiting proudly his wealth. “A lady gied it me for carrying her bag,” replied the boy. “Weel, Angus,” said his father, laying down his news- paper and fishing in his pocket, “here’s anither penny. Go along and get vour hair cut. there’s a guid laddie!” They make our magazine possible 151 The Spectrum June, 1920 Class Record Books Biggest showing on the coast. Kodaks Kodak Developing and Printing Photo Phil in Charge The J.K. Gill Co. Booksellers Stationers Office Outfitters Third and Alder Wright Ditson Athletic Goods for Baseball Tennis and Track Come here for Fishing Tackle Backus Morris 273 Morrison Street Near Fourth A young woman whose pretended knowledge of trees and flowers was greater than her real knowl- edge, was being shown one day through an estate by the owner. The young woman wanted to be agreeable, and as they came to a superb old tree she looked up at it, and, laying her hand on the trunk, said: “Superb old oak, I wonder what it would say to me if it could speak?” And she looked at the owner. “Well,” said the man, “it might say: T beg your par- don, miss, but I am a beech tree !’ ” “Did you ever run into a m telegraph pole?” inquired a lady of a taxi driver. “Yes, ma'am ; I’ve bumped into telegraph poles several times.” “Brings you to a sudden stop, doesn’t it?” “No, ma’am; the machine stops all right, but I and my fare always keep on going ahead, mostly in the air. Must go somewhere, you know, ma’am!” Man’s hair turns gray be- fore woman’s, That’s known in every clime; The explanation’s easy, for He wears his all the time. Patronize our Advertisers 152 June, 1920 The Spectrum ColMimlbm EuanWmg Waskiirngtoini Slr@©ft aimd Wesii Park Official Pkotograpker Jim© 19)2!© Class They make our magazine possible 153 The Spectrum June, ipec THEY LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE One morning an old man was busy in the back yard with a saw and hatchet, when the next door neighbor came to inquire after the health of his wife. The wife, it seems, had taken a severe cold. “Good mornin', Mr. Smith! said the neighbor. “How is Mrs. Smith this mornin’?” “Just about the same,” answered old Mr. Smith. She didn't sleep very well last night.” Poor dear! said the neighbor sympathetically. I s'pose that's her coughin', ain’t it?” Xo, it ain't her coffin, said Smith.( keeping his eyes on his work. It's a new henhouse.” An old colored minister announced that he had invented an automatic collection basket, which would be passed around by the deacons of his church. “It is so arranged, my brethren.” said he. dat if you drop in a quatah or half clollah it falls noiselessly on a red plush cushion; if you drop in a nickel it will ring a bell dat can be distinctually heard by de entiah congregation: but if you let fall a suspender button, my brethren, it will fiali off a pistol.” The mother who always says OL YMPIC when she orders flour, is sure oj brown, crusty, nourishing loaves to serve her growing boys and girls. A'o failures, for its quality is uniform. ❖ nlNMNl Patronize our Advertisers 154 June, 1920 The Spectrum Complete Line of Victrolas and Grafonolas Your Auto, Canoe, or Camping Trip will be incomplete without one of the smaller models, or some new jazz records. Don't forget, “This storeis record headquarters.” Bush Lane Piano Co. Manufacturers of Grand, Upright, and Player Pianos Bush Lane Bldg. Main 817 Broadway at Alder WELL, YOU TRY IT! The day was drawing to a close. Judge, jurors, wit- nesses, and lawyers all were growing weary. Counsel for the prosecution was cross-examining the defendant. “Exactly how far is it between the two towns? he asked at length. For some time Paddy stood thinking, then, “About four miles as the cry flows ’ came the answer. “You mean ‘as the flow cries!’” corrected the man of law. The judge leaned forward. “No,” he remarked suavely, “he means ‘as the fly crows ” And they all looked at one another, feeling that some- thing was wrong somewhere. TAKING NO CHANCES “Alice, if I told you that I loved you dearly, that there was no other girl in all the world for me, would you promise to be mine ?” “Would you mind telling me first whether that is a pro- posal or a hypothetical question ?” They make our magazine possible 155 The Spectrum June, 1920 THE KODAK Piedmont Pharmacy STORE 1050 Union Avenue Woodlawn 2704 ASPIRATION An Irish mother who had occasion to reprove her eldest son exclaimed: “I just wish that your father was at home some evening to see how you behave yourself when lie is out!” IT SEEMED LOGICAL One day at a dinner a physician explained to his little daughter where meats come from. “They take a cow and kill it ’ he said, “remove the hide, cut up the flesh, cook it, and that is the beef you eat.” The little girl's face showed her astonishment, and as her father went on to tell of pork, mutton and chicken her amazement grew until she could restrain herself no longer. “O papa, papa,” she broke forth, “when they make angel cake do they kill an angel?” American Conservatory of Music Portland's .Most Beautiful and Homelike School Devoted to Every 1 Individual Training, which means to the student what per- sonal diagnosis and special treatment mean to one physically afflicted. Not a patent method for all, hut a special treatment for each. [‘partment in Music Personal Attention, which keeps the management and faculty in close touen with each student at all times. Each student is our guest of honor, controlling our future through what he receives while here. Our Course consists of one private lesson each week. Then we give free to all students one class lesson each week in Theory, Harmony, Technique, Ear Training, History. Recitals, etc. Much depends upon where you po. If you are really serious about a musical education and about your own success in the profession you will call and see us or write for our catalog and literature. 4th Floor Filers Music Bldg. 287 Wash., St. Portland, Ore. Patronize our Advertisers 156 Rugs stored, clean- ed, and repaired by native workmen. RIENTAL THHE charm of the Oriental A Rug is in its mystery. Odd designs of hidden meanings, oriental symbolism, tribal legends, the secret of its colors, the romance of its making; all these are mysteries whose enchantment increases with association and study. A genuine Oriental Rug is as repre- sentative of the genius of a people as the Greek fret, an Etruscan vase, a Japanese lacquer,or a Gothic Cathedral and is as deserving of study and ap- preciation. You arc cordially invited to inspect and study at your leisure our large collection of Eastern weavings. An artistically furnished home gains an added air of luxuriousness from a well chosen rug whose beauty and value increase with use and passage of time. Cartozian BROS.Inc ESTABLISHED 1906 'pittocli jdlocJ 'portland If, after you have seen the show. There’s some cool place you’d like to go Just tell him Swetland’s where you’ll find The best of eats of every kind. When you feel like chanting “How Dry I Am,” try a “SUMMER GIRL” You’ll want another Morrison at Fourth CLOSED ON SUNDAY We are Mutually Interested —you and every member of the “Imperial” organization (from bell-man to manager)—in the effort to EXCEL—you in your work and we in Service to Patron and Friends of This Hotel— located, as you know, In the Community Center Broadway, Washington, and Stark Streets Thus, we have a common goal, namely, individual and collective improvement and civic progress. NOTE. We are especially proud of our pastries which you will find delicously ready at any hour you like Phil Metschan, Jr., Manager June, 1920 The Spectrum The Melodies that Make From Portlands Big Music Store I'he newest songs in sheet music our specialty. Also texts for teachers of music and instrumental pieces of all kinds. Seiberl i ng-Lucas Music Co. 125 Fourth Street THEY RAN FAST, AT ANY RATE “I thought you said this bathing suit was in fast colors,” said 1 links indignantly to the hosier of whom he had bought his suit. “Yes, sir; that's certainly what I said,” returned the hosier, rubbing his hands suavely. “Well, every wretched stripe on the thing has come off on my back ! ’ retorted Pinks. “Ah, but wait until you try to get 'em off your back,” said the hosier. “Then you'll see.'’ j ❖ ❖ SOUND SENSE The squire of an English village found a half-witted cottager whitewashing his barn with a badly worn brush. “Morning, Brown!” said the squire. “Busy, eh? But, man, why don't you get a brush with more bristles on it? “What for, sir?” asked the cottager innocently. “What for?” retored the squire. “If you bad a brush with more bristles on it you could do twice as much work.” “That’s so, sir,” replied the cottager slowly. “But, then, ye see, sir, I haven’t twice as much work to do.” They make our magazine possible 157 The Spectrum June, 1920 Visit Our Attractive Ice Cream Parlor and Play your Favorite Music on the Phonograph. COLONIAL CHOCOLATE SHOP KILLINGSWORTH and ALBINA Visit the Colonial Chocolate Shop No. 2 Mussel Williams THEN SILENCE REIGNED “Ma,” roared Mr. Jagsby, “where in the bow-wows is my hat? 1 can't keep a thing about this house. It's a shame the way things disappear without any apparent rea- son. I would just like to know where that hat is.” “So would I,” replied Mrs. Jagsby, coldly. “You didn't have it on when you came home last night.” MAIDS ARE SO DISHONEST “You simply can not trust anybody. Every one seems so dishonest nowadays,” declared the woman. “My maid, in whom I had the utmost confidence, left me suddenly yesterday and took with her my beautiful pearl brooch. “That is too bad,” sympathized the friend. Which one was it?” “That very pretty one I smuggled through last spring.” For Their Graduation A LAVALIER or a string of PEARLS, Is just the thing for High School girls. An EVERSHARP pencil or a TEMPOINT pen Are some of the things for the younger men. A BRACELET WATCH or a DIAMOND RING, For graduation would be the thing. A most complete line of high grade jewelry to select from DILLEN ROGERS Jewelers and Optician Killingsworth and Albina Ave. Woodlawn 2863 Established 1910 Patronize our Advertisers 158 June, 1920 The Spectrum High School Graduates Opportunity Knocks at Your Door Today Our Summer School offers you an opportunity to get three months’ start toward business success-to lay the foundation for a good position in business or Civil Service. Make your summer pay. Do you want to know The Secret of Higher Salaries? If so, call, write, or telephone us today. We receive five times as many calls for trained office help as we can fill. Link’s Business College Broadway 5083 407 Morrison Street Portland SIMPLICITY ITSELF “Do you know ’ said Professor Brown to his bosom friend, “I cannot understand how people forget the ages of their children. I have no trouble. For example, I was born twenty-three hundred years after Socrates; my wife, eighteen hundred years after the death of Tiberius Caesar: my son, John, two thousand years after Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus was chosen tribune of the people: and our daugh- ter, Amanda, fifteen hundred years after the beginning of the Folk Wandering. It is perfectly simple, you see!” Guaranteed to Do All We Claim The Izard Gas Generator Manufactured by Peninsula Brass Foundry City Office: 706 Pittsburg Street (St. Johns) 224Vo. Third Street Portland, Oregon Main 5055 Columbia 1108 They make our magazine possible 159 The Spectrum June, J920 COLONIAL CHOCOLATE SHOP Formerly J 0 2 B. Moriarty Wallace’s Confectionery Proprietor Ice Cream Season is Here. We give the Best Service and Quality in our attractive balcony. Corner Russell and Williams A BUSINESS PROPOSITION Judge—‘Tm going to fine you five dollars for the chickens you stole the last two weeks.” Rastus—“How’ll it be if Ah pays seben-fifty, Jedge? Dat'll pay foh up to an’ includin’ next Saturday night.” IRWIN-HODSON CO. STATIONERS STEEL EMBOSSERS ENGRAVERS Cards for Every Occasion 387 Washington Street A BOVINE HOARDER “It doesn’t seem right,” said the man with worn-out shoes. “What doesn’t seem right?” “That a mere cow can afford to wear all that leather.’’ PIEDMONT GARAGE General Automobile Repairing Oils, Greases and General Accessories Brunswick and Goodyear Tires and Tubes Vulcanizing Patronize our Advertisers 160 June, 1920 The Spectrum l]c (I)x tit� 05lull BROADWAY AT STARK STREET Portland’s favorite dining place, long famed for the excellence of its cuisine and perfection of service. Sunday Dinner and Concert Week-day Dinner and Dancing 5 to 8:15, 9:15 to 12 Plates $1.25 Noonday Lunch, 11 to 2, 60c A la Carte Service, 11 a. m. to 1 a. m. ELIZABETH REMAINED SINGLE Little Elizabeth Tilton had attended school only a few days when she fell ill. When she returned she brought a note from her mother signed, “Mrs. Banes ' The teacher asked for an explanation. “It’s this way ’ said Elizabeth, leaning toward the teacher with quite a confidential air: “My mother got married again, but I didn’t.’’ ❖ NOT A RED PERIL “He is what they call ‘a parlor socialist,’ isn't he?” asked a young man. “Yes,” replied Miss Cayenne. “Not a regular ‘red’?” “No, not a red at all. He’s what I should call a pale pink, and liable to fade at that.” THE KODAK Piedmont Pharmacy STORE 1050 Union Avenue Woodlawn 2704 They make our magazine possible 161 The Spectrum June, 1920 VULCO REPAIR DEPOT 514-514 UNION AVE. N. CORNER BRAZEE STREET W. J. VAN ORDER, Prop. Phone Ea l 7863 for Service Car Expert DRI-CURE Retreading VULCANIZING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION i'i o IVI illpv I i ppc We Specialize in Job -UII-a IUJIICI J II Work and Used Tires GUESSED RIGHT Teacher—“Henry, if you had three apples and some one gave you five more, what would you have?” Henry—“I guess I’d have a pain in my stomach.” Two Stores for Drugs Killingsworth Avenue Drug Co. Corner Killingsworth and Albina Kenton Pharmacy 1733 Derby Street Doddridge, Defremi Harlow Proprietors LIMERICK NO. 1 A certain young man of great gumption, ’Mongst cannibals had the presumption To go—but alack, He never came back, They say ’twas a case of consumption. Henden Confectionery WHERE IS IT? Corner Union Avenue and Russell Street HIGH CLASS CONFECTIONERY PERFECT SERVICE We serve only the BEST Patronize our Advertisers 162 June, 1920 The Spectrum FRYERS PHARM ACY We have a full line of Kodaks and Supplies Fishing Tackle Baseball and Tennis Goods Our prices are right WE DO KODAK FINISHING For best Drug Service WoJ££55 Several ladies sat in the clubroom discussing the virtues of their husbands, over their knitting. “Mr. Jones,” said one of them, referring to her life partner, “never drinks and never swears; indeed, he has no bad habits.” “Does he never smoke ?” someone asked. “Yes, he likes a good cigar just after he has eaten a good meal. But on an average, I suppose, he doesn't smoke more than once a month.” Some of her club mates smiled, but she didn’t seem to understand the reason. Kerosene Kream An internal and external remedy to relieve or soothe sore throat, sore chest, burns, nasal catarrh, muscular rheum- atism, coughs, colds, croup and hay fever. the Kerosene Kream Company Portland. Oregon. They wake our magazine possible 163 The Spectrum June, 1920 FLUTE CLARINET SAXAPHONE STUDIO MARIE WANDRA 614 Eilers Building, 287 Washington Street Portland, Oregon UNSATISFACTORY Redd—“Didn’t I see you out in your new car today?” Greene—“Yes; I was out for a trial.” “Was the trial satisfactory?” “No; the judge fined me $10.” THE LESSONS OF WAR “So you’re saving up to buy an airship? You’re quite an ambitious little boy.” “Yes, sir; I wants to fly over Jimmie Mack’s yard and drop bricks on him.” BROADWAY GARAGE Hoffer Pike If you are looking for a Bug see us. E. 24th Street North and Broadway A WELCOME WORD Heck—“I suppose you always let your wife have the last word.” Peck—“Yes, and I’m tickled to death when she gets to it.” TRUE PATRIOTISM “Don’t you love our song, the ‘Star-Spangled Banner’?” “I do,” replied Senator Sorghum. “Then, why don’t you join in the chorus?” “My friend, the way for me to show real affection for a song is not to try to sing it.” SMITH’S FLOWER SHOP THOMAS C. LUKE. Manager FLOWERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS 1415 Sixth Street Telephone Main 7215 Patronize our Advertisers 164 June, 1920 The Spectrum Furniture Repairing and Refinishing Mattresses Made Over and to Order MULTNOMAH FURNITURE CO. Upholstering of Modern and Antique Furniture We Call and Deliver 888 Union Ave. N. Phone 314-26 AN ACUTE OBSERVER Natural history was the subject of the lesson, and the teacher asked, “Who can tell me what an oyster is?” A small hand, gesticulating violently, shot up into the air, and a shrill voice called out, “I know—1 can tell, teacher!” “Well, Bobby,” said the teacher, “you may tell us what an oyster is.” “An oyster,” triumphantly answered Bobby, “is a fish built like a nut!” CAUTION “So you want to marry Alice?” asked the girl's father of her young man. “Very much, indeed,” replied the youth. “Can you support a family?” The young man reflected a moment, and then asked, “How many are there of you, sir?” ORDERS OF THE DAY Mr. Kirby, who represents Arkansas in the Senate, tells this story with a straight face: 1 was being shaved the other day when a grizzled chap in a captain's uniform came in. He saluted smartly and seated himself in the chair next to my own. “Hair cut,” he said in gruff tones. “How would you like it cut, sir?” the barber asked. The captain, who was baldish, answered gruffer than ever: “Line up the hairs and number off to the right. Odd numbers each want half an inch. Dress smartly with bay rum and brilliantine. Then dismiss.” OLIVER HELFRICH Dry Goods, Men’s Furnishings, Women’s Readywear 139 Killingsworth Avenue They make our magazine possible 165 The Spectrum June, 1920 Director and Vocal Teacher VALAIR CONSERVATOIRE DE MUSIQUE ET ART DRAMATIQUE Will remain open during summer and con- duct specials classes for teachers and students in Dancing, Elocution, French Piano, Voice, Violin Address Secretary for information 234 Tenth Street or Phone Main 7398 AND STILL RISING At Sadieville, Kentucky, a tourist called to an old colored man, “Hey, uncle! How far is it to Lexington?” “I do' know, suh; hit used to he 'bout twenty-five mile, but ev’ything’s gone up so I speck hit’s ’bout fohty now, suh.” DRUGS HIGHLAND PHARMACY 1000 Union Ave. N. Wdln. 1783 MARQUARDT RROS. Union and Killingsworth Aves. Wdln. 586 Prescription Specialists S TRICT CENSORSHIP 4So you were in the battle of the Marne?” “Yes, ma’am,” replied the tramp. “What can you tell me about the great fight?” “Not a word, ma’am. I’m on my honor not to reveal a thing I saw or did. That’s a very strict military rule.” W. S. CUTLER SON GROCERS PHONES WOODLAWN 1748-C 1354 1009 UNION AVENUE NORTH Patronize our Advertisers 166 June, 1920 The Spectrum SUITS For High School and College Men $25 to $50 They have the snap and style that mark the up-to- date young fellow. Lines that set off the straight athletic figure. The latest ideas in collars, pockets, belts. Lion Clothing Company Exclusive Kuppenheimer House in Portland Morrison at Fourth S H Stamps Given PERFECTLY SAFE A well-dressed and charming young lady hailed a four- wheeler, since there was no taxi in sight. Just as she was getting in she noticed that the horse seemed inclined to be frisky. He was jumping about and swishing his tail in a way that alarmed her—she was a timid little thing. So she addressed a few words to the aged jehu. “I hope ' she said, smiling bravely, that you will not run away with me.” The cabman sighed mournfully. “No, mum,” he replied, “I have a wife and seven kids at home already.” ❖ PERHAPS THERE WAS REASON An editor received this letter from a fresh youth: “Kindly tell me why a girl always closes her eyes when a fellow kisses her.” To which the editor replied: “If you will send us your photograph we may be able to tell you the reason.” They make our magazine possible 167 The Spectrum June, ipso Union Avenue Cyclery BICYCLE ANI) MOTORCYCLE REPAIRING TIRES, TUBES AND ACCESSORIES 494 Union Avenue N. Reduction of 50c on tires to those who bring in this ad. WRONG LINE OF TALK Among the guests at a reception was a distinguished man of letters. He was grave and somewhat taciturn. One of the ladies present suggested to the hostess that he seemed to be out of place at such a party. “Yes,” replied the hostess, with a bright smile, “you see he can’t talk anything but sense!” A Jefferson Institution The Walnut-Park Pharmacy FOR THE PEOPLE” Alberta and Williams Avenue Phone Woodlawn 777 AN ADDED BURDEN A small boy who had been in the habit of leaving food on his plate was warned that Mr. Hoover would not ap- prove of it. He immediately replied: “I’ve always had to mind daddy and mother and Aunt Mary and God, and now here comes along Mr. Hoover.” The Best to Own STEINWAY PIANOS VICTROLAS AND VICTOR RECORDS PIANOLA AND DUO-ART-PIANOS Sherman,j lay Go. SIXTH AND MOKRISON ST. PORTLAND, OREGON Patronize our Advertisers 168 June, 1920 The Spectrum Woodruff Jones Photographers 414 Raleigh Building, Sixth and Washington TOOK THE PHOTOS OF CLASSES AND CLUBS FOR THIS ISSUE OF THE SPECTRUM Did you get the original of your favorite club ? If not, see us about it Time and Tide wait for no man A JOYFUL SOUND There’s beauty in the thunder’s roll And in the ocean’s roar. I’d rather hear a ton of coal That hits the basement floor. “Mr. Colvin,” said a young lady who had been showing off her wit at the expense of a dangler, “you remind me of a barometer that is filled with nothing in the upper story.” “Divine Evelyn,” meekly replied her adorer, “in thank- ing you for the compliment, let me remind you that you occupy my upper story entirely.” A ball struck a little boy in the face last week. Strange to say, the bawl immediately came out of his mouth. City C. Earl Watkins Corner Union Avenue and Failing Street Woodlawn 193 ’liarmacy They make our magazine possible 169 The Spectrum June, 1920 RYDMAN BROTHERS Dealers in Reading Standard Motorcycles, Racycle and Miami Bicycles Motorcycle and Bicycle Supplies, Repairing and Enameling No Profiteering—Our Prices are Right Broadway and Williams Avenue “Rastus,’’ said Colonel Sparks, they tell me that fine dog of yours was run over and killed while you were in church this morning.” “Yes, sah: he wuz, sah. But I ain’t worryin’ none about it. Mali dawg, sah, wuz fully p’pared to die.” How’s that, Rastus?” “ ell, sah, you see, sah, jest before gittin’ hisse’f killed he snuck into de back room of ouah cli’cli and done et up all de communion cake. He wuz fully p’pared!” A position for each graduate” We train you in common business branches—Short- hand, Typewriting, Bookkeeping, Spelling, Mimeograph- ing. Office Training, Adding Machine, Filing and Rapid Calculation, Business English and Penmanship. SPECIAL COURSE IN COMPTOMETER OR CALCULATING MACHINE AND LEDGER POSTING MACHINE Oregon Financial Aid for Honorably Discharged Soldiers and Sailors MAUDE INA DECKER. M. A. Principal Phone Main 324 Alisky Building Portland. Oregon Patronize our Advertisers 170 June, 1920 The Spectrum Meet me at The Hazelwoodr‘ The ideal spot to spend a social hour ernoon Tea Service 3 to 5 p. m. CHICKEN SALAI) TOASTED SCOTCH SCONES APRICOT JAM HAZELWOOD PIE A LA MODE FRENCH PASTRY YOUR FAVORITE TEA (Music at the Washington Street Hazelwood) 388 Washington Street 127 Broadway Manuel, a negro with a record previously clean, was arraigned before the bucolic justice of the peace for assault and battery. “Why did you beat that negro up, Manuel ?” questioned the squire. “He called me sumpiiT, jedge. “What did he call you?” “He called me a rhinoceros, sah, a rhinoceros!” “A rhinoceros! When did this occur?” “ ’Bout three years ago, jedge.” “Three years ago! Then how did it happen that you waited so long to resent it, Manuel?” “Lawd, jedge, I ain't never seen no rhinoceros till dis mawniiT.” THE KODAK STORE Piedmont Pharmacy 1050 Union Avenue Woodtawn 2704 They make our magazine possible 171 The Spectrum June. p ?o We are still serving those big, delicious, fresh Strawberry Sundaes for twenty cents. The Sugar Bowl MOTHER HAD FORGOTTEN “Mother, wasn’t that a funny dream J had last night?” said a little boy who was busily engaged with his breakfast cereal. “Why, I’m sure I don't know!” replied his mother. “I haven t the slightest idea what your dream was about.” “Why, mother, of course you know!” said the boy reproachfully. “You were in it.” BEGINNING EARLY Teacher—“If any little girl knows the answer, let her hold up her hand. Well, Hazel?” Hazel (aged six)—“I don’t know.” Teacher—“Then why did you hold up your hand?” Hazel—“I couldn’t hell) it. I just had to show my new ring I got for Christmas.” Motion Picture Machines For the Home ♦ These may be attached to an ordinary lamp socket and will run standard fdms We provide complete entertainments for the evening. Call us up and we will do the rest. Service and Supply Co. 393 Oak Street Phone Broadway 722 Patronize our Advertisers 172 June, 1920 The Spectrum Young Men’s Clothing a Specialty Winthrop, Hammond Co. Formerly Bufftim Pendleton. Established 1881 127 Sixth Street, between Washington and Alder PULPIT CAMOUFLAGE “Mabel,” queried the caller of the minister's little daughter, “does your father ever preach the same sermon twice?” “Yes, I think he does,” replied Mabel, “but he talks loud and soft in different places each time, so it doesn’t sound the same to outsiders.” HOW HE ARRIVED Teacher—“Why were you late?” Jimmy—“Please, ma’am, it’s so icy. Every step I took I slipped back two.” Teacher—“Then how did you get here?” Jimmy—“I started back home.” A LEGAL CONTRADICTION There is one thing in a lawyer's profession which is dif- ferent from any other.” “What is that?” “The longer he is at it the more he has of a brief career.” They make our magazine possible 173 The Spectrum June, 1920 PLATES IN THIS ISSUE MADE BY OREGON ENGRAVING COMPANY 239 Pittock Block, Portland, Oregon Patronize our Advertisers 174 June, 1920 The Spectrum AN EMERGENCY EXCUSE Farmer—“You young rascal, what are you doing up in my apple tree?” Boy—“Please, sir, I'm scaring the birds away; they are such awful thieves.” “Now, son, what was the very first thing the children of Israel did after they crossed the Red Sea? asked the new minister. “Speak loud so all can hear. “They dried themselves!” yelled the seven-year old. LOP-SIDED LOGIC A cavalry officer came across one of his men trying to get a horse to jump a fence. “How do you expect to make that horse go when you've only got one spur on? he asked. “Well, sir, said the rookie, “if I can only get one side of him to go, the other is bound to follow. WASHED BUTTON Donald (after church)—“J say, Sis, did the curate really mean that those black people don't wear clothes?” Sister—“Yes; quite true.” Donald—“Then what was the good of grandpa putting a button in the collection? “YOU NEVER CAN TELL” Lars (to editor)—What's the name of your class play? Editor—“You Never Can Tell.” Lars—Oh ! Haven’t you decided yet? A BRIGHT ONE While studying about the constitution in Mr. White’s H5 class, one student asked: “Who was Preamble?” Mrs. A.: I guess I would not let my John associate with Mr. Jones. He is a regular Sherlock. Mrs. B.: You do not mean Sherlock, you mean Shvlock. Mrs. A.: I should worry: J mean the feller that made such a fuss about a pound of meat. “What if we loses this blinkin’ war after all, Bill?” “Well, all I can say is—them what finds it is quite wel- come to keep it. They make our magazine possible 175 White Clover Ice Cream It s Great! Jefferson High Press BETTER HOMES ' 7 CHE better home— xJ the one to which you always are glad to return—is the home of comfort and cheerful- ness. Our ideal—and that of our associates— is to help to makegood homes better. JENNING’S Furniture Washington at Fifth Street You’ll Meet Up With Good Clothes in our Men's Clothing Department—good fabrics, good styles, good tailori ng, and values that are best of all Langham High is the make we feature for the younger young men (Sd (So. Merchandise oPC Merit Only