James Monroe High School - Echo Yearbook (Fredericksburg, VA)

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PROPHECY OF THE CLASS OF ’52 Just the other day, enroute home from work in my Elsmobile, that new automobile created and manufactured by the Gary Ellis Motor Co. of Detroit, 1 chanced to switch on my TV set to channel 113, and picked up that super- scooper lady newscaster, Miss Jeanette Carter. Miss Carter’s news was of such immensity that 1 want you all to hear it. She said: “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America—and all of Texas, too. All the great news today, June 21, 1968, comes directly from America’s oldest and busiest city, Fredericksburg, Virginia, and that’s only natural since that ' s where all the great people live. “Mr. Donald Snellings, owner, trainer, and rider of the great horse, ‘Bubblebath,’ has again won the Interplanetary Derby. Congratulations, Mr. Snellings. “Miss Emily Grace Morrison, chief pharmicist of the People’s Drug Stores, has just discovered the cure for the common cold—stay in bed all year! But Dr. George Calamos disagrees with Miss Morrison, stating that the cold bug is so widespread that humans will contract it no matter where they are! “The United States Olympic teams have just returned from Jupiter, the site of the 1968 Olympiad, victorious again! The hero of this year ' s games was America’s John Hall who won both the pentathon and declathon. Mr. Hall ' s biggest feat was his twenty-two foot pole vault! “Big news! The Chas. Dowling-Pcrry Holcomb Construction Co. has just completed the first New York to Paris bridge! The messeurs Dowling and Holcomb are now working on plans for a round-the-world highway! “Renowned actress, Mary Stott, fresh from a rousing triumph in ‘The Dessert Fox,’ has been cast in the lead of MGM’s newest picture, ' Across the Wide Rappahannock. ’ “Comedian Buddy Sweeney has just been signed by NBC for the first continuous I V show ever to be produced. Sweeney is to be sponsored by the Surles Men’s Fashions Shops. “Miss Peggy Pitts, top X-ray technician for the Mayo Clinic, made big news today by announcing her revolutionary new invention—an x-ray machine that registers exactly what, if anything, is wrong with any patient x-rayed. Miss Pitts gives much credit to her two hard-working secretaries, Joyce Quann and Catherine Shelton. “Admiral John Britton, who once swore he wasn’t going to make the navy his career, yesterday dispersed the old rumor that a sailor has a ‘girl in every port’ saying, ‘I haven’t got a gal in South Afghanistan. ' The reason: population—all male! “The fast growing planet, Saturn, got another boost today when the Armstrong, Limerick, and Searles Department Store chain announced its in¬ tention to build twenty large stores there. The owners of this chain, the Misses Beulah Armstrong, Peggy Limerick, and Isabell Searles, were once salesgirls in the Fredericksburg 5c and 10c store. “When Miss Ruth Yanow, wealthy hotel owner, heard of this plan, she promptly vowed that she would build ten hotels on Saturn. Not to be outdone, this Yanow! “Right here on Earth, Mr. Gerald Talley has just completed the last of his great ice cream factory-stores. Mr. Talley now boasts an ice cream plant in every country on Earth, although he confesses his concession isn’t faring too well in Iceland! “And now it’s time for a word from our sponsor, the Jones’ Steel Wool Co. Friends, is your steel wool too soft? If so, you need Jones’ steel wool, direct from the mills of Charles Jones, located in the Fredericksburg Barber Shop. Jones’ steel wool is the best because it’s nature’s own. Don’t take less, get the best. Buy Jones’. And now, here again is your favorite and mine, Miss Jeanette Carter!’ Hello again, and back to the news of the day. Miss Patricia Snellings has just been appointed professor of English and histories at Mary Washington College. Miss Snellings, you know, has written several books on these subjects. At the same time, Miss Patricia Smith was appointed director of T iventy

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SENIOR CLASS TAYLOR FITZHUGH TURNER, JR. “Fite” “Are you sure” RUTH REBECCA YAXOW “Rufus” “Oh heavens” SENIOR ADVISORS MRS. MILDRED L. CHICK MISS MILDRED LAPSLEY MISS NANCY M. SON DDES Class Advisor Class Advisor Annual Advisor Nineteen

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dramatics and sciences, also at MWC, although Miss Smith is chiefly noted as a historian. A happy scene took place today in the city room of the New York News. The misses Ruth English and Debra Hollibaugh met again for the first time since high school when they were co-editors of their school paper. Miss Holli- baugh and Miss English will work together again as co-editors of the Women’s Section of the News. Player-Coach Audrey Fines has just led her All-American girls’ basket¬ ball team to another worldwide championship. Miss Fines teaches physical education at Vassar during the off season. Miss Norma Mitchell, Metropolitan opera star, has just announced that she will quit opera soon and go into popular singing. Miss Sue Straughan, Republican senator from Virginia, has just been chosen by the Republican National Committee as its Presidential candidate for the coming election. Mr. Wirt Shelton, head professor at Yale University, has just disputed the popular new molecular theory of Professor W. W. Gordon of Harvard. Mr. Gordon, incidentally, was once Mr. Shelton’s high school principal. Mr. Taylor Turner, noted commercial and comic strip artist, has just begun a brand new comic strip called, Undercover Agent Interplanetary Anonymous. ' Mr. Turner reluctantly admits the theory of such a comic wasn’t original with him. Miss Rinda Lu Grubbs, renowned author and publisher, has just re¬ leased another of her ' Grubbs ' Grabs.’ This time it’s a ' Dictionary for Ignor¬ ant Acrobats.’ Mrs. Sidney Monroe, nee Joyce Fines, made big news this morning in Mary Washington Hospital—triplets! Lt. Col. Gerald Hart of the U. S. Air Force, yesterday startled the world by becoming the first person to fly faster than the speed of light! Colonel Hart, when asked how he felt traveling at such a velocity, said, ‘I ' ouldn’t see a thing.’ Miss Shirley Green yesterday opened the most unusual school ever devised; namely, ‘The How to Make Your Boyfriend Mad School!’ Mr. William Schrier, owner of the nationwide ' Dollars and Cents’ clothing-department stores, announced early this morning that plans had been completed for both floating and flying department stores! Miss Anne Shelton, noted biologist, caught a rare and as yet unnamed twoe of fly today, and immediately had it insured with the Vivian Beazley ‘We ll Insure Anything’ Insurance Company! The girls were once schoolmates. Miss Nancy Brown, legally Mrs. John Blain, popular radio and tele¬ vision entertainer, celebrated her fifteenth wedding anniversary quietly today at her palatial penthouse in Manhattan. Miss Dorothy Smith, renowned debater and panelist, will appear tomor¬ row on television to argue the affirmative for tbe very pertinent question, ' Should Shady Sharks Be Shot?’ The Limbrick Reducing Salon, founded by the one-time ' fat girl,’ Miss Barbara Limbrick, announced yesterday that it plans to make every woman in the world as sleek as Miss Limbrick herself! Miss Anne Stephens and Miss Gloria Toepfer, both personal steno¬ graphers of the Secretary of State, made headlines yesterday by popping into their office draped in mink coats. The two girls were protestingly dragged to jail, where they were subsequently released after explaining that they did it as a joke, and showed a sales slip to prove the legality of their purchase! Miss Grace Robbins, head nurse at Mary Washington Hospital, startled the medical profession yesterday by announcing that from now on all Mary Washington nurses will wear light-green colored uniforms instead of the conventional white. It makes the patients feel more at ease,’ explained Miss Robbins. Mr. Robert Goolrick was sued again today in Municipal Court in con¬ nection with the prophecy he wrote for the James Monroe High School graduating class of 1952. This makes the forty-second time! Only one more to go! “This is your Tuesday night newscaster, Jeanette Carter, signing off and saying, I’ll see you again next week, same time, same station! BOBBY GOOLRICK ’52 T wenty-One