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Page 44 text:
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I ' QL FUN ' ? SLVIQ MRS. LAMB: Can you type? PHIL H.: Yes, I use the Co MRS. LAMB: Whats that? PHIL H.: I discover a key, lumbus system. then land on it. LOCKHART: 'This after noon we shall take Mr. Frog apart', I have a frog in my pocket to be used as a specimen. He his pocket and drew out a paper bag which he emp table--and out rolled a badly squashed sandwich. mopped his brow, 'My goodnessln he stammered, 'I remember eating my lun BOY: pa? Chne Girls were harder to kiss in your day, weren't GRANDPA: Maybe, Maybe, but it wasn't so blamed dangerous. I never heard of a parlor sofa running off the road ing into a light pole. MRS. LAMB: I would like to the room for a short working. CAROL B.: Its' because you MR. MINNICK: How is it that BOY: Well, if I could, wh school? JIM S. was courting Sue H. know why it is that whene time and then return I f wear rubber heels. you can't answer any of my at would be the use of my and finally gained enough pop the question. 'Sue, Dear', he ventured there has been somet and months. SUE: Yes, so I noticed, wh hing troubling on my lips y not shave it off. reached in tied on the Lockhart distinctly they Grand- and smash- ver I leave ind no one questions? coming to courage to fearfully, for months DON C. was out driving one day with Ellen D. and they went by a popcorn stand from which tempting odors were arising. ELLEN D.: My, donesn't tha t popcorn smell good? DON C.: Yes, I'll drive up closer so you can smell it better. JOHN: Did your watch stop when you dropped it on the JIM: Of course it did! Did you think it would go on TEACHER: Who can tell me what the former ruler of called? CLASS: Czar. TEACHER: Correct, and what was his wife called? CLASS: Czarina TEACHER: Correct, and what were the children called? CLASS: A pause, then a timid voice, 'Czard1nes.' 40 side walk? through? Russia was
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Page 45 text:
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PROFESSOR: How old would a person be if he was born in 1894? STUDENT: lan or woman? TEACHER: What are the properties of heat and cold? STUDENT: Heat expands and the cold contracts. TEACHER: Correct. Give an example. STUDENT: In summer when 1t's hot the days are long, and in w'n ter when it's cold the days are short. THE SCHOOL'S ALPHABET A is for Academy, the finest of places, E is for Boys, the school's handsome faces, U is for Congress, a rose in the wing, 5 is a red mark, a terrible thing, E is for Excellent CI wish it were sol F is for Freshmen, greener than 'dough', 5 is for Girl, the pride of the times, R is for room CI can't make it rhymel, T is myself, a very fine C?J writer, U is for Juniors, and no class that's brighter I is for Krafty Cwe all have to bel I is for Literature adapted to meC?5, Y is for Music, the Glee Club it offers, N is for Numbskull, they all have to suffer, 5 is for Orchestra, real harmonies carry, F is for Post-Grade after five years we bury, is for Queerness, some of us have lt, is for Regents, make us scared as a rabbit, 3 is for Senior and Sophomore folks, T is for Teachers, we laugh at their jokes, U is for United, a part of our National motto, V is Vacation, to have more we ought to, I is for work, we do till we're weak, X is for Xenophon, you take him in Greek, Y is for Youth, s me Freshier need a string, Z is the last letter and doesn't mean a thing. PURDUE STUDENT A Purdue student had been in the habit of writing home fre- quently for financial aid. His father invariably 'came acressu, But in answer to one of his son's letters he wrote: 'My son, your studies are costin? me a great deal.' The boy replied: 'I know it, Dad, and I don t study very hard e1ther.' 41
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