Isaac Newton High School - Newtonian Yearbook (Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada)

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86 ISAAC NEWTON HIGH SCHOOL irumowi... George H.—“Will your people be surprised when you graduate?” Max P.—“No, they’ve been expecting it for several years.” » • The $64 Question “Bill,” asked his father, “how far were you from the correct answer?” “Only three seats, father.” Speaker (after talking for an hour and a half): “I didn’t mean to speak so long, unfortunately I hadn’t my watch with me.” Ted M.—“Well, there’s a calendar on the wall.” • Bob M.—“Pop, I need an encyclopedia for school.” Pop—“Nothing d oing; you can walk to school like I did.” Mr. Riddle—“Now, David, can you tell me what a grape is?” David K.—“A gooseberry that’s had a shave, sir.” Cyril C. was asked to paraphrase the sentence: “He was bent on seeing her.” He wrote: “The sight of her doubled him up.” A Sunday School teacher, who had asked a child what a lie was, received this as an answer: “A lie is an abomina¬ tion to the Lord, and an everpresent help in time of trouble.” • • Teacher: “Quote a Scripture verse.” Student: “Judas went out into the garden and hanged himself.” Teacher: “That’s fine. Quote another.” Student: “Go ye and do likewise.” • • • “I ought to know, didn’t I go to college, stupid?” “Yes, and came home that way, too.” • Don’t let the price of butter upset you, says an exchange. It can be made from grass. All you need is a cow and a churn. • • • The young recruit, a university gradu¬ ate, was appearing before the army examination board. The first “intel¬ ligence” question was: “What is an adjutant?” Came the reply: “An adjutant is a large bird of uncouth appearance. It has an almost bald head, a tremendous capacity for eating and acts as a public scavenger. It can swallow a cat with ease.” The examining officer almost fainted. Subsequent investigation, however, proved that the recruit was correct. His was an almost word-by-word definition as laid down in the National and Every¬ man’s Encyclopedia. NEWS . . . Nine times daily — Seven times Sunday

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NEWTONIAN 85 COMMERCIAL XI — ROOM 17 (Continued from page 31) Stern Enterprises Ltd.”—a very unpro¬ fitable organization of “What-Nots.” His collection consists of a few old records and half-built gramophone cabinet. Stanley Slugocki, The Honourable Member from Scratch, is the one who takes us all on a trip (to the land of nuisance and he knows too much about transportation. Incidently he is the one that reveals all that is not heard nor seen of his fellow-members. If the Speaker “sits on him” often enough, he is likely to become a good Democra¬ tic citizen. —STANLEY SLUGOCKI COLLOQUIUM CASABLANCAE (continued from page 48) fuisse et placuit omnes opes colligari ad hostes oppugnandos et mari et terra et aero. Roosevelt et Churchill et legati sui consilia sua confecerunt et nunc ad pstrias rediderunt ut haec consilia per- sequerentur. Uterque in senatu suo orationem habuit. Senatus condiciones colloquii probaverunt et statim condi¬ ciones conficere inceperunt. Omnes hoc colloquium historicum in memoria tenebunt quo duo duces egre- gii sociorum convenerunt et consilia fecerunt ut pluremque orbem terrarum de servitudine liberarent. —JERRY DONIN r ' - BEAT THE HEAT WITH CO-OP ICE CREAM in the Sultry Summer Days Ahead! Look for the Quality Name PEOPLE ' S CO-OPERATIVE LIMITED Your Guarantee of Satisfaction + • I i Compliments of ZELLER’S —...— 4 . Retailers I ' -“ » I to (ft Thrifty foci ' ll t li cfi ' ay Canadians TEACHER OF PIANO AND j © THEORY 346 Portage Avenue 832 Magnus Ave. Phone 57 857 Winnipeg 1 - „ - -- - -- -- -------..-------

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NEWTONIAN 87 Office Ph. 5 4 455 Res. Ph. 56 863 DR. A. BLOOM DENTIST 598 Selkirk Avenue Ste. 3, cor. of McGregor St. Compliments of Smith Corn Beef Mfg. Co. Always ask for Smith’s Corn Beef Phone 51 200 698 Aberdeen Ave. Winnipeg I Compliments of ZAPP FUR SHOP 592 Selkirk Ave. Phone 52 400 PARR GROCERY 1 GROCERIES, CONFECTIONERY, FRUIT, VEGETABLES, MEATS AND TOBACCO 481 Parr St. Phone 57 632 j Carl M.—“Since I got a girl I can’t eat, I can’t drink, I can’t smoke.” Bill L.—“Why not?” Carl M.—-“I’m broke.” • • • Mr. Pearce—“Do you know why the earth turns round the sun on its axis?” Betty P.—“Yes sir. Because it does not want to be roasted too much on one side.” A professor sat beside a pert young thing at a dinner party. “Professor,” she piped up, “Have you read so and so’s new novel?” He confessed he didn’t. “Oh,” she said, You’d better hurry. It’s been out over three months.” “Young lady,” he said, “Have you read Dante’s ‘Divine Comedy?’ ” “Why no.” “You’d better hurry. It’s been out over 600 years.” A Plan for Their Future . . . The future success of your children depends to a great extent on the plans you make today for their future. One factor to bear in mind is this: the increased earning power of college graduates shows that edu¬ cation is the best investment you can make for them. Safeguard their future happiness by ensuring their future earning ability. Through an educational policy, you can guarantee their college training. I will be pleased to explain, at your convenience and without obligation, details of our many juvenile policies. A. BARDAL 185 Lombard Street Telephone 96 144 ASSURANCE COMPANY HEAD OFFICE ---WINNIPEG THE