Irvine High School - Citadel Yearbook (Irvine, CA)

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uurINu with stepfamilies David and Linda are in their fifth year of mar- riage to each other. It Is the second one for both of them. David had two children from his first mar- riage, while Linda had three. They, along with millions of other Americans, have been through a divorce and remarried, thus forming a stepfamily for themselves and their children. According to a 1982 issue of Current Lifestudies, adjustment to a step family is not easy for the children involved. It has been proven that younger children have an easier time adjusting than do teenagers. I was three years old when my parents were divorced, so I don ' t remember that much. It ' s been harder to adjust since I ' ve gotten older, because a lot of questions pop in my mind about why they got divorced, said one IHS junior. According to Dr. Clifford J. Sager, director of the Jewish Board of Family and Children Services in New York City, kids have a hard time accepting the loss of their natural parents ' undivided atten- tion, as well as being placed into a new family ar- rangement that they had no part in choosing. It was hard for me, said a senior boy, because I had to get used to a whole new and dif- ferent home life. At first, I felt a lot of resentment towards my stepdad. Children seem to feel a great loss when a parent remarries, but open communication is the first step in the right direction to overcome this feeling. I had a hard time accepting my stepmother, but we started talking to each other about our feel- ings. From then on we got along great, an Irvine sophomore girl said. Much has changed, though, since the once- upon-a-time days of Cinderella, when step- mothers were considered foes rather than friends. My stepmother and I are close. I have my real mother, and my stepmother is my friend, a freshmen girl commented. But what does divorce and remarriage in a fami- ly teach the kids about the institution of marriage? Seeing my mother divorced three times had made me think that nothing will last, a junior girl commented. A stepfamily, however, is not only formed by a divorce. When a widow with children remarries, they become members of a stepfamily. Sophomore LoriSmolln was in this situation. It was so much easier to adjust than I thought it was going to be, she said, all of our friends real- ly helped us with the death of our mom, so it made it easy to adjust to a new family. At first my step- mom was more like a good friend, but now I think of here as a sister. Despite some of the problems involved in form- ing and dealing with a step family, many psychological experts point out that this situation has a positive side. Unlike the nuclear family, in which children have two parents, kids in a step- family have more adults to turn to for role models and support. They may also find a stepparent one to confide in. Throughout my parent ' s divorce, a senior male concluded, and becoming part of a step- family, I ' ve learned how important communication is. I ' ve also learned that there ' s a lot of love and caring in stepfamilies as well as regular ones. — by Liz Marrujo SHARING A LAUGH: Junior Matt Otto tdkes time out of his day to converse witli his stepfather, Bruce Baron. OPEN COMMUNICATION: Junior Lori Cramar and her mother Sue Graham, discuss being members of a stepfamily with para-counselor Chris Gober. 22 Feature

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FUTURE EDITOR? Checking for errors, Thu Dao scrutinizes yearboott stories with the utmost care. Feature 21

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Feature 23