Ipswich High School - Tiger Yearbook (Ipswich, MA)

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loaded jitney breaks down, Beatrice Ricker has to walk home. I hope this package of Allen’s Foot-ease will prove useful.” Then I heard the old gypsy chuckle. “Ah, Isabelle Swasey, that old rascal. I hear she is class baby. But I’m sure she cannot fill the position without the help of some local coloring. Give her this large baby carriage (small one) and a rattle so she may make some noise. Da! Da!” “Bertha Savory alas! likes to watch something thrilling and exciting. Just let her see this hold-up.” (suspenders) “Give Angie Wile this book of Cross Word Puzzles and see if she can do them as fast as she can typewrite. “Mary Woleyko loves curls. Give her this (Farina) so she may see how it is done.” With this final suggestion the fortune- teller concluded. After paying the charge of five dollars which she demanded, I started home wishing the girls of 1925 a happy future and also wdshing that I had my money back. THOMAS DOYLE. GIFTS TO BOYS Seated one night at the radio, I was weary and sore distressed. For gifts for the boys of ’25 I was indeed hard pressed. Suddenly while in this fix I heard a voice say, “River Styx — Station H. A. D. E. S.” Then it continued slow but clear. And the following words came to my ear. “When underwear flies through the air And senior girls are shocked, G’ve Jackie a box with key attached So he may keep his locked. “Christopher is the class artist And possesses a gift immense. If no other subject presents itself. He may use this on the old back fence. (whitewash brush) “To Tommie Doyle I must confess And you, too, perforce must feel That he needs this injunction. Beware! ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’! (Framed motto) “You remember Ewing’s accounts were slightly mixed When he returned from town. This book may save him similar troubles If he’ll jot his expenditures down. (expense book) “At the rate poor Hale is going His tongue will never last. Give him some molasses candy So he won’t talk so fast. “Hayes is a hard proposition He is no joke you see. But this loving cup from Woolworth’s Will express your loyalty. “To your dear little sleeping beauty (Henley) You may give this comfortable bed So that when he becomes too drowsy He may rest his weary head. “Hills in cheer leading at ball-games Has filled his friends with elation. Give him a baton to cheer him on And show your appreciation. “Now you didn’t elect a class orator But you will all agree I am sure That this little soapbox suits Merson And that nothing will suit him more. “Passionate” Pasukonis Might possibly add to his fame By reading this little volume Entitled, “What is there in a Name?” “Phelan is class musician He plays just like a fairy. To him present this instrument To help him to get ‘Merry.’ ” (violin) Little girls wear dresses. Shaw says, “Boys do too.” To please him, then, present him with That dainty one of blue. To that poor little boy they call Eddie Give this candy he loves so well In return for all that was captured Just after the recess bell. So thanks to his voice from the River Styx Which got me out of this awful fix, I now had gifts for every one And my class-day part at last was done. I was, however, nearly dead So I heard hiln sign off, then went to bed. MARY MUNROE. 29

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seen Doyle, Christopher, Ewing, Hills, and Hayes guns on shoulders, marching day in and day out and sacrificing the time that they so much wanted to put in- to study, you would agree with me. Marriage and divorce have taken their toll in our colony as in every other, I suppose. I ought therefore to mention the most celebrated of our colony who have contemplated or are contemplating entrance into the matrimonial realm. Among the most recent marriages were those of Mr. Ewing and Miss Munroe, and of Mr. Phelan and Miss Merry. I am requested by my brother and sister citizens to give them our best wishes for a happy and prosperous union. I am forced also to mention with regret the divorce case of Mr, and Mrs. Merson, nee Natalie Brown. Rumor mentions a co-respondent but I think the court granted Mr. Merson his divorce papers on the ground of cruel and abusive treat- ment. Recently the young ladies of our city decided to hold knitting parties every Thursday night and the boys decided to go to hold the yarn for them. Of course we were pretty green at first, indeed so green that when one of the young ladies exclaimed, “Eve dropped a stitch!”, I very politely volunteered to hunt for it and did so for about fifteen minutes be- fore the laughing told me that there was a joke in it somewhere. But now I must -close this history for our colonists feel once more the uncon- querable call of the American pioneer, and therefore find it necessary to dis- band that we may go forth into newer and unexplored lands. In closing, and as we part, let me express the hope that our future history will be as happy and successful as this of our four past years. EDMUND WITHAM GIFTS TO GIRLS A short time ago I went to consult the well known fortune-teller, Mrs. Hokus Pckus Hoo-Doo, concerning some ap- propriate gifts for the girls of the Class of 1925. You can see for yourself, there- fore that the very valuable and useful gifts which I am about to present the girls were decreed by the unerring hand of fate in the guise of a fortune-teller. I gave the prophetess the names of the girls, and with no hesitation she began, “Mary Beals is a very studious young lady. Give her a wheelbarrow so she may carry her books around with more ease.” (wheelbarrow) The next name on the list was Natalie Brown. The old gypsy looked at me and giggled. “Natalie loves? — literature. She reads vast stores of books. I am confident that this bookworm will prove to be a congenial companion.” (worm) Then the old woman said, “My clair- voyant gift tells me that Elsie Hull is your class soloist. Give her this voice (s) trainer so that she may irrigate her voice.” (small bottle of punch) The old hag paused awhile and then continued in a sterner tone, “Mildred Jedrey should follow her father’s pro- fession and become a policeman, or rather a police lady when she leaves school. Here is a billy club. She may bep in practice early on Ewing.” (billy club) “I can see by the name of the next person, Jennie Jianakountzos, that that individual is a good girl. Tell her to avoid that tomboy, Isabelle Swasey, and give Jennie this medal for good be- haviour.” Then the old gypsy took me into her confidence and said, “Do you know that Dorothy Merry is in constant danger of getting lost in Pine Swamp? Give her this flashlight so that she may never be “Phelan” to find her way.” She uttered a rasping cough and con- tinued, “Give Mary Munroe this dish pan to fill up (Philip) her hope chest. “I am sorry for Margaret Phelan be- cause she has to wait and wait for her brother’s private jitney, namely, ‘The Lip-htning Despatch’ to take her home nights after school. Give her this donkey as a means ef conveyance. She will be home before her brother has learned not to throw erasers in school and other nec- essary points in school discipline. “Audrey Patterson,” my never-failing crystal tells me, “is rather lazy. She hates to walk upstairs. Give her this private elevator to take her up.” (tack) The old gypsy locked puzzled. Then she left the room, but returned almost immediately and said, “My trusty Ouija board informs me that Mildred Pickard does not take enough exercise. Here is a rocking-horse modelled after the presi- dential steed of the same species. By means of this she can study and exercise at the same time. “Alice Mullens is rather fond of poetry. Give her this book of Whit- tier’s “Assorted Poems.” The old lady got up and walked around for awhile. Then she said to me, “When the Ipswich to Rowley unlimited, over- 28

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CLASS PROPHECY Fifteen years have passed since the memorable grraduation day, when the Class of 1925, my class, received their “tickets of leave” from hip:h school. The years have passed quickly and to me they have been prosperous ones. Dui ' ing: the fifteen years of Dis- trict Nursing:, I saved for the time when I could travel and take a vaca- tion. At last it came, and I am going: to tell you about the exciting trip around the country from which I have just returned. The first move in preparation was to find some means of locomotion. Do you remember years ago the universal car, the Ford? You see one even now oc- casionally. I read recently in the “Traveler” that a Shirley Hale of Row- ley sold these machines, first, second, and third hand. I decided to investigate and see if he had anything that would ap- peal to me. I took an electric car to Rowley. (By the way with the growth of Ipswich to a city, trolley cars had returned.) Without much trouble I found Mr. Hale but, to my dismay, not one of his machines fitted me or mv pocketbook. He agreeably offered to build one for me, however, while I waited. He disap- peai ' ed behind the garage and returned in an hour with a composite structure reared out of the bottom part of a Ford, a Franklin Engine, Pierce Arrow lights, and four wheels, of which no two were mates. He then proceeded to secure tires to fit the wheels and worked over the mechanism for a while. Again he went out and this time returned with a long tin bathtub which he and his helpers adjusted on the wheels. There were two seats, one in front of the tub and one at the rear. An umbrella, much dilapidated, was fixed over the driver’s seat while the other was exposed to the •wind, sun, and rain. It was completed after a while, and I drove home in it, showered by rocks which flew from the road because there were no mudguards and driving with a wheel which resembled that of a babv carriage. It kept its balance very well cons’dering, except that in going around corners it was very apt to slew a trifle, and going down steep hills it nearly turned end over end. It turned out to be musical in the bargain and em ' tted sounds resembling those ' of a whole iazz orchestra. I reached home safely, however, and somewhat pleased with my purchase, started to paint it with what- ever colors I had available. In the end anyone might have taken “Arabella,” as I christened it, for a rainbow, but then I didn’t worry because it went! After a week of preparation I started upon my journey. At the end of the day, my watch dog, “Chasam” and I found ourselves on the outskirts of Springfield, Mass. I entered the city and after looking around for a boarding house, I found a neat-looking one and ventured in. In the vestibule was a “No dogs allowed” sign; so I left my dog outside to guard “Ar abella” and went into the next room. To my surprise the boarding mistress who was no other than Mildred Pickard, came towaid me. I recognized her at once but it took her some time to remember who I was. (I had grown thin, you know.) We talked about old times until late at night, and the next morning I started on my way again promising to write to her. My mongrel Ford and watchdog be- haved nicely all day. I stopped at noon outside the city of Hartford at a res- taurant with the sign “Callahan’s Fa- mous Ipswich Fried Clams,” emblazoned in large, artistic letters on the win- dows. The sign made me homesick; so I -went in and ordered a meal of my home town product. I was promptly cured of my home-sickness when Jack Callahan advanced to serve me. I en- joyed that meal, for Jack was the same old scout in spite of the added cares which clam frying had developed upon him. “Arabella” refused to move when I got into New York State; so I had to walk to a garage to get gasoline. Philip Ew- ing greeted me with a greasy hand and took me back to “Arabella,” reposing by the roadside. He directed me to a lodging house for the night and two days of my vacation were gone. Starting from Albanv with Phil’s good wishes, I reached New York city about noon. Having a few minutes leisure time I stopped at a newsstand and not getting excitement enough from my experiences with “Arabella,” I pur- chased a current copy of the most hair raising variety of short-stories on sale. I had not read far in the copy when I discovered that Eddie Witham was the editor of the magazine and the writer of most of the stories. On further in- vestigation I learned that he was sup- porting a Ford coupe from the proceeds realized on the sale of his stories. 30