Ipswich High School - Tiger Yearbook (Ipswich, MA)

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knows himself. I don’t suppose you believe me, but in a few minutes I will prove it to you.” While I stood gazing at him, wonder- ing who he was, and where he came from, he said in a sharp voice, “Come, come, girl don’t stand there that way dreaming. Bring me a glass rod.” When I brought him the rod he bade me sit on the bench and watch him very carefully. With the rod he began to stir the mixture in the bottle, at the same time muttering magical words that I under- stood to be, “Yoyo kile hoeto mete” over and over again. While he continued to stir and mutter, the bottle grew larger and larger until it was the size of a dish pan. Then he stopped muttering and with his rod, struck the side of the bottle three consecutive blows, and from the middle of the orange and white paste rose a hand, holding a chair. The old man nodded to me to take the chair, and as soon as I did, the hand disap- peared. Then the old man began to speak, “I want you to give that chair to Seward Tyler, I don’t know what is the matter with that boy. There isn’t a chair in school that he can sit in without either breaking it or falling out of it. I hope that when he goes to college he will take this chair with him, for I know he will not care to spend his allowance for refurnishing the college class-rooms with chairs.” “To your class baby, Wilfred Dunn,” continued the old man taking another gift from the mysterious hand, “I will present this rattle. It will serve to keep him occupied during the period of in- fancy and childhood, when all small boys are more or less troublesome to the big fellows. The hand next brought up a whistle and the old man went on, “This whistle will be of great help to Nicholas Kala- boke. Marianna is a very difficult name to pronounce melodiously, and with this whistle he can always get the right pitch.” “And this head of cabbage,” continued the mysterious stranger, is for Palmer Perley.” If he intends to be a florist, roses of this variety make the best bouquets and are the most profitable.” The room now became filled with the odor of fragrant flowers, and the hand held up this puff, and box of powder. “John Clasby,” he went on, “seems to have a craze for powder, and other cos- metics.” I remember seeing him dis- play at least six different kinds of face powder at one time. Does he give it to the girls, or does he use it himself?” “I hear that one of your classmates is going to explore the “wilds of Maine” this fall. No doubt this little weapon will protect him from the wild animals, and as he has been elected the best look- ing boy of the class, he will need to be protected as well from the “vamps” of the Maine Woods.” Of course he meant our President, Ross Whittier. “And if Walter Callahan,” concluded the Old Man, will make frequent use of this ball of twine to attach his belong- ings to their owner, he will not be con- tinually losing them.” His hat and note-book we remember as being of a particularly migratory nature. He stopped a minute and sat gazing into the bottle. Then he continued, “And now, My Senior Girl, have I not succeeded in proving to you that I know your classmates?” Before I could an- swer, the room was once more filled with dense white smoke. When this cleared away, all that remained was a daisy, our class flower. Bernice Narkun. 27

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nere is a present for reflection. (Mir- ror.) The twelfth is Miss Phoebe Plortense Jewett. I shall give her something for her Porter to carry around for her. (Small trunk.) fflffl The thirteenth is Miss Beatrice Smith. Realizing the propensity of Beas (bees) for collecting sweets and their fondness lor the same, I have secured for her something sweet. (A bar of chocolate.) The last is the most popular girl in he class, I might add the noisiest. We should all like to see such a popular girl make a great success. I shall give her a present that should greatly assist her n making a rattling success. (Small pair of dice.) John Clasby. PRESENTATION OF BOYS’ GIFTS Gifts that have been given to the boys of graduating classes in former years nave been obtained in many strange ways, through the inspiration of poets, historians, explorers, and even birds and animals, but I am sure you will agree with me, that the gifts to the boys of 1922 came to them in a very peculiar way. One morning about three weeks be- tore the close of school, I went down to che Chemistry laboratory to make up some experiments that I had lost. On my bench I found a small bottle marked M. H. S., and filled with an orange and white powder. Although I hunted all through my Chemistry book I could not find out what M. H. S. stood for. I picked up the bottle to examine the contents, when lo ! on my bench I found a tiny orange and white booklet. Being naturally a very curious person, I im- mediately opened the booklet to see what it contained, and to my surprise I found it to be a Chemistry Manual, con- taining one experiment, “The Prepara- tion and Properites of an Unknown Sub- stance.” Upon looking it over I found written in a small cramped hand, “For a Senior Girl Only.” What could all this mean? Uncertain whether or not I should try this experiment, I finally decided to do so and to see what would happen. The experiment called for a glass bot- tle, 25 cc of M. H. S. and 25 cc of water. The preparation of the substance was very simple: M. H. S. is put into a bottle, and the water is poured over it. I did this and as soon as the water came in contact with the powder, a dense cloud of white smoke filled the room. Bewildered I stood gazing at the smoke as it disappeared, and I was finally brought to my senses by a small squeaky voice shouting, “Hey you, wake up.” I looked around the room to see where the voice came from, but there was no human being in sight. I even went to the door to see if some one was trying to frighten me, but no, there was not a person around. I returned to my bench and stood listening in order that I might hear the mysterious voice if it spoke, when I felt something tugging at the sleeve of my dress. I looked down on my bench, and there, perched on the edge of the bottle was a little wizened up old man, clad in an orange coat and white breeches, and shaking with laugh- ter. When he saw that I was looking at him, he stopped laughing and said, “Good morning, don’t you think I’m a nice young man?” Without giving me a chance to reply he continued in his squeaky voice, “I suppose you are won- dering who I am. Keep quiet for a few minutes and I’ll tell you. Well, I’m the kind old benefactor of the Class of 1922. I’ ve helped your class since it came to this high school, and I know every boy and girl in your class better than he 26

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CLASS WILL By Seward S. Tyler Be it Remembered that we, class of 1922 of Ipswich in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, being of sound mind and memory, but knowing the uncer- tainty of this life, do make this our last will and testament, hereby revoking all former wills by us at any time hereto- fore made. After the payment of our just debts and funeral charges, we bequeath and devise as follows: To the Freshmen Item: Room V with its double seats conducive to sociability and to 100% on examinations. Item : The feeling of superiority char- acteristic of sophomores in general aris- ing from the knowledge that they aren’t the freshest and greenest things around. Item: The privilege of living in close proximity to the most respected and awe inspiring class in school, and the right to cast occasional glances of awe and admiration across the hall. Item: The joy and importance of be- ing initiated into the “parlez-vous” and “oui oui” class with the injunction not to talk too fluently and confuse or em- barrass the instructor. To the Sophomores Item : Room II and what goes with it. Item: The privilege of having Miss Ferguson spell the words correctly for them across the hall. Item: The distinction of having one unruly member of the class appointed for black-board duty. Item: The right to call themselves “upper classmen” and to look upon senior year and graduation as faint possibilities. Item: The pleasure of engineering a Junior prom when there are as many different ideas on decorating, music, and refreshments as there are members in the class. Item : The distinction of feeling them- selves originators in something truly novel in the line of fragrant odors and explosions. The benefit of their chem- ical research work is left to those for- tunate enough to have classes in Room III. To the Juniors: Item: Room IV with its stern guard- ian and privileges. Item: Front seats in that room for those who manifest an abnormal degree of sociability in their make up. Item: A color chart to be purchased by Mr. Tozer and kept in Room IV so that the inhabitants of that room may be able to distinguish between yellow and gold. Item: The proud privilege of taking seats to the extreme right in chapel. Item: The importance of having two of their number conduct the musical part of the program at the chapel exer- cises. We suggest Dondero and Kent to succeed Misses Harrigan and Web- ber. Item: The honor of taking the town by storm when they put on their senior play, and the invitation to repeat it in Rowley and the surrounding theatrical centers. Item: The joys of financing the last issue of “The Tiger” for the sake of having their pictures in print once in a life-time, and the advantage of profiting by our experience in undertaking a senior “Tiger.” To Parker Atkinson, three rolls of cotton batten (large size) in order that he may block up his ears and study in peace, safe from his annoying class- mates. To Frederick Bailey, a book entitled “Ways and Habits of Women” by “Al” Spyut. The author has made an ex- 28