Ipswich High School - Tiger Yearbook (Ipswich, MA)

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nere is a present for reflection. (Mir- ror.) The twelfth is Miss Phoebe Plortense Jewett. I shall give her something for her Porter to carry around for her. (Small trunk.) fflffl The thirteenth is Miss Beatrice Smith. Realizing the propensity of Beas (bees) for collecting sweets and their fondness lor the same, I have secured for her something sweet. (A bar of chocolate.) The last is the most popular girl in he class, I might add the noisiest. We should all like to see such a popular girl make a great success. I shall give her a present that should greatly assist her n making a rattling success. (Small pair of dice.) John Clasby. PRESENTATION OF BOYS’ GIFTS Gifts that have been given to the boys of graduating classes in former years nave been obtained in many strange ways, through the inspiration of poets, historians, explorers, and even birds and animals, but I am sure you will agree with me, that the gifts to the boys of 1922 came to them in a very peculiar way. One morning about three weeks be- tore the close of school, I went down to che Chemistry laboratory to make up some experiments that I had lost. On my bench I found a small bottle marked M. H. S., and filled with an orange and white powder. Although I hunted all through my Chemistry book I could not find out what M. H. S. stood for. I picked up the bottle to examine the contents, when lo ! on my bench I found a tiny orange and white booklet. Being naturally a very curious person, I im- mediately opened the booklet to see what it contained, and to my surprise I found it to be a Chemistry Manual, con- taining one experiment, “The Prepara- tion and Properites of an Unknown Sub- stance.” Upon looking it over I found written in a small cramped hand, “For a Senior Girl Only.” What could all this mean? Uncertain whether or not I should try this experiment, I finally decided to do so and to see what would happen. The experiment called for a glass bot- tle, 25 cc of M. H. S. and 25 cc of water. The preparation of the substance was very simple: M. H. S. is put into a bottle, and the water is poured over it. I did this and as soon as the water came in contact with the powder, a dense cloud of white smoke filled the room. Bewildered I stood gazing at the smoke as it disappeared, and I was finally brought to my senses by a small squeaky voice shouting, “Hey you, wake up.” I looked around the room to see where the voice came from, but there was no human being in sight. I even went to the door to see if some one was trying to frighten me, but no, there was not a person around. I returned to my bench and stood listening in order that I might hear the mysterious voice if it spoke, when I felt something tugging at the sleeve of my dress. I looked down on my bench, and there, perched on the edge of the bottle was a little wizened up old man, clad in an orange coat and white breeches, and shaking with laugh- ter. When he saw that I was looking at him, he stopped laughing and said, “Good morning, don’t you think I’m a nice young man?” Without giving me a chance to reply he continued in his squeaky voice, “I suppose you are won- dering who I am. Keep quiet for a few minutes and I’ll tell you. Well, I’m the kind old benefactor of the Class of 1922. I’ ve helped your class since it came to this high school, and I know every boy and girl in your class better than he 26

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Miss Damon asking when we should eat. After lunch Miss Harris and Miss Smith tried to get out without paying their checks, but a stout ugly looking Chinaman stepped up and barred the exit quite effectually. Miss Marr nearly got lost in the laby- rinthine mazes of the secret stairway in the House of Seven Gables and Miss Damon was about to send in an emer- gency call for the Salem Police Depart- ment when we heard a welcome and familiar voice from the top of the chim- ney. “Hurry, it’s nearly six o’clock. We’ll miss our train and I’ll never be able to get my studying done.” We knew then that our lost was found. On the whole our past history has been a happy one and I’m sure our friends join me in wishing each mem- ber of the class a happy future. Kathaleen Harrigan. PRESENTATION OF GIRLS’ GIFTS Teachers, friends, and fellow stu- dents : I have before me a very perilous task, a task which must be done each year on class day, that of, we might say, displeasing the girls, for no one likes to be made fun of. Yet I do not feel that any will hold a grudge against me, for they are such jolly good sports, dgn’t you know. The first girl to whom I shall give a present is Miss Charlotte Ames. In choosing her present I tried to get some- thing that would be useful in the future. We all know that Miss Ames slides into her seat one half second before the tardy bell rings, puffing like a steam engine. This present ought to help get her to her place of duty on time in the future. (Small aeroplane.) The second is Miss Ruth Marr, elected unanimously the wise bird of the class. She may be wise but here is something which will hold her spell bound. (Dic- tionary.) The third is Miss Rosamond Reilly, elected the prettiest girl in the class. I shall give h er a modern fountain of youth, quite appropriate for a pretty girl. (Vanity case.) The fourth is Miss Dorothy Hills. This present is designed to make Miss Hills sharp in shorthand. Dose: One tack in a little water after each meal. (Box of tacks.) The fifth is Miss Esther Webber, the great piano player of the class. The best I could get for her was a piece of music, but listen to the name, “When I wait on the corner for Freddie.” The sixth is Miss Mildred Mackinney, the class angel. Here is something very appropriate for an angel, a small pair of wings which may be discarded when her own have acquired their full growth. The seventh is Miss Katherine Pierce. She is sweet and good so I must give her something for a re-Ward, a “Nicholl.” The eighth is Miss Bernice Narkun. Since Miss Narkun made such a hit with white hair in the senior play, I think she should always have becoming snowy locks. This barrel of flour will enable her to look impressive and beautiful from now on. The ninth is Miss Catherine Ryan. As she is usually laughing I will give her something that will tickle her to death. (Feather.) The tenth is Miss Myrtle Sheehan, the class blusher. See her blush now. That she may retain her rosy complex- ion, that her blush may never fade, I have chosen for her a box of vermilion colored rouge. Apply freely when nec- essary. Miss Alcie Harris is the eleventh. She is also the class vamp.” Now as “vamps” like to see themselves reflected, 25

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knows himself. I don’t suppose you believe me, but in a few minutes I will prove it to you.” While I stood gazing at him, wonder- ing who he was, and where he came from, he said in a sharp voice, “Come, come, girl don’t stand there that way dreaming. Bring me a glass rod.” When I brought him the rod he bade me sit on the bench and watch him very carefully. With the rod he began to stir the mixture in the bottle, at the same time muttering magical words that I under- stood to be, “Yoyo kile hoeto mete” over and over again. While he continued to stir and mutter, the bottle grew larger and larger until it was the size of a dish pan. Then he stopped muttering and with his rod, struck the side of the bottle three consecutive blows, and from the middle of the orange and white paste rose a hand, holding a chair. The old man nodded to me to take the chair, and as soon as I did, the hand disap- peared. Then the old man began to speak, “I want you to give that chair to Seward Tyler, I don’t know what is the matter with that boy. There isn’t a chair in school that he can sit in without either breaking it or falling out of it. I hope that when he goes to college he will take this chair with him, for I know he will not care to spend his allowance for refurnishing the college class-rooms with chairs.” “To your class baby, Wilfred Dunn,” continued the old man taking another gift from the mysterious hand, “I will present this rattle. It will serve to keep him occupied during the period of in- fancy and childhood, when all small boys are more or less troublesome to the big fellows. The hand next brought up a whistle and the old man went on, “This whistle will be of great help to Nicholas Kala- boke. Marianna is a very difficult name to pronounce melodiously, and with this whistle he can always get the right pitch.” “And this head of cabbage,” continued the mysterious stranger, is for Palmer Perley.” If he intends to be a florist, roses of this variety make the best bouquets and are the most profitable.” The room now became filled with the odor of fragrant flowers, and the hand held up this puff, and box of powder. “John Clasby,” he went on, “seems to have a craze for powder, and other cos- metics.” I remember seeing him dis- play at least six different kinds of face powder at one time. Does he give it to the girls, or does he use it himself?” “I hear that one of your classmates is going to explore the “wilds of Maine” this fall. No doubt this little weapon will protect him from the wild animals, and as he has been elected the best look- ing boy of the class, he will need to be protected as well from the “vamps” of the Maine Woods.” Of course he meant our President, Ross Whittier. “And if Walter Callahan,” concluded the Old Man, will make frequent use of this ball of twine to attach his belong- ings to their owner, he will not be con- tinually losing them.” His hat and note-book we remember as being of a particularly migratory nature. He stopped a minute and sat gazing into the bottle. Then he continued, “And now, My Senior Girl, have I not succeeded in proving to you that I know your classmates?” Before I could an- swer, the room was once more filled with dense white smoke. When this cleared away, all that remained was a daisy, our class flower. Bernice Narkun. 27