Iowa Wesleyan College - Croaker Yearbook (Mount Pleasant, IA)

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JEWELER AND STATIONER F. B. CRANE FOR 50 YEARS THE COLLEGE STORE A Scotchman was leaving on a business trip, and called back as he was leaving “Good-bye all; and dinna forget to tak little Donal’s glasses off when he isna looking at anything. Senior: “Say, Freshman, would you like to buy the new library—at only $1000 Freshman: “Xope, I ain’t got the money. 1 just bought a chapel scat for $25.” Prof. Buscenii: “Mr. McCosh, why is Ireland the richest country in the world. McCosh: “Because its capital is always Dublin. We Are Exclusive Agents for the Famous APOLLO CHOCOLATES PRINCESS CANDY KITCHEN The Home of Good Candy Page 205

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The Police Judge at Home His Wife: “Dinner is ready, Herbert.” Police Judge: “That’s fine! That’s five dollars fine. I’ll be there in 30 days.” His Wife: I’ve fried chicken for you, dear. Just taste it!” Police Judge; “H’m! A tough character! It ought to be chewed for six months, but I’ll let it off this time with a warning. These potatoes are sentenced to the refrigerator for mashing! Ten days in the cooler! Next case!” His Wife: “If you’re ready for dessert just try this cake I baked. How do you like it, dear?” Police Judge: “Fine! A heavy fine! It has no visible means of support except this table—it’s a wonder it doesn’t fall through to the basement!” His Wife: “You idiotic, brutal—” Police Judge: “Don’t talk back to me! I sentence you to your mother for 30 days. First, however, I fine you seven holes in my socks! (let to work on them at once!” His Wife: “But, dear, I—” Police Judge: “Twelve sock holes!” His Wife: “But—” Police Judge “Twenty sock holes and a shirt button! Shut up now, or you’ll get six months in your last winter’s hat!” The jury had found the defendant guilty of second story burglary. Judge: “Have you anything to say before I sentence you?” Hilton: “Only that I’m not guilty, and that I object to being identified by a fellow who had his head under the bedclothes all the time while I was in the room.” A forcsighted girl is one who sleeps in a cotton nightie and keeps a pair of silk pajamas under the pillow in case of fire. The minister’s daughter returned at three o’clock from a dance. Her father greeted her sternly. “Good morning, child of the devil.” Respectfully and demurely, she replied—“Good morning, father.” She: “Do you know you’d make a wonderful fireman?” He: “How’s that?” She: You never take your eves off the hose.” Page 204

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St. Peter (to applicant) : “Where are you from?” Applicant: “California.” St. Peter: “Come on in. but I don’t think you’ll like it.” Jimmy: “We’re going to have an awful gay time at our party next week!” Johnny: “How d’ye know?” Jimmy: “All the women that mother’s invited have said they are coming, and everyone of ’em says she hasn’t a thing to wear!” Fine Is Ric.mt Officer (to couple in parked auto) : “Don’t you see the sign. ‘Fine for parking.’ ” Donald H: ‘A cs, officer. I see it and heartily agree with it.” “How do you know he was drunk?” “He was looking in the cuckoo clock for eggs.” Plenty More Co-ed: “Stop that man; he wanted to kiss me.” Cop: “That’s all right, Miss; there’ll be another along in a minute.’ Honeymoon The bridegroom of the newly wed pair instructed the porter of the pullman into which they climbed to tell no one on any account that they were married. In spite of this warning, the entire car smiled at him and his bride the next morning when they appeared. Angered, the groom hurried to the washroom and began to take the porter to task, but the porter strickly denied having mentioned their marriage. “Deed ah didn’t. Boss, deed ah didn’t. When they all ast me wuz you married? I sc , nossir, they’s just pow’ful good friends. Anna Mary: “I’ve just come from the beauty parlor.” Constance Peirce: “You didn’t get waited on. did you?” Papa was deep in a book, when his wife called. “Dan, baby has swallowed the ink. Whatever shall I do?” “Write with a pencil,” was the reply. Ba-b -b1. b.VA'ACTr: SZE VhVAVAVAV, Page 206