Iowa Wesleyan College - Croaker Yearbook (Mount Pleasant, IA)

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 IVhal Their Hands Said: “I do the washing, said Mrs. Smith's hands. “I’ve forgotten what a washtub looks like, said the dainty fingers of Mrs. Brown. For Mrs. Brown is a patron of our laundry, where one of our many services takes the “washing off her hands and returns it clean and white at a price which the Browns can easily afford. If you are one of the Mrs. Smiths call us up today. CRYSTAL LAUNDRY MT. PLEASANT, IOWA Phone 9.X FOUNTAIN PENS STATIONERY TOILETRIES You use these things every day, so give yourself the pleasure and satis faction of using good quality. Parker Duofold Fountain Pens Pencils and Desk Sets give most satisfaction. Stationery of many sorts, shapes and prices, and our Toiletries include many new domestic and imported items which will interest you, as well as the old stand-bys. H. T. WAUGH San Tox Remedies Druggist Telephone 61 Page 20J

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 Hello, sheik!” hailed Koch. “Take me for a nice long ride in your new car? (lot your walking shoes?” asked Wagler suspiciously. “No.” “Carry a six-gun ?” “No.” Well, then, climb aboard, but I'll bet there’s a catch in it somewhere. A farmer and a fair damsel from the city were going round the farm together, and the farmer was rapidly falling beneath the spell of the town maiden’s eyes. Now, that’s a pretty scene,” he said, pausing beside the fence of a paddock in which a cow and a calf were rubbing noses together. The sight of it makes me want to do the same. “Well, go on.” said the girl placidly, it’s your cow. A man was seen in front of the insane asylum dangling a piece of string with a stick attached to it. He was dangling it over a flower-bed when Clifford Lee approached. Cliff, wishing to be affable, asked: How many have you caught? “You’re the ninth one. replied the crazy man. Clean Verse I know a baby named Jean The prettiest baby I’ve seen If she never is wealthy She ought to be healthy, For every one says “Hi Jean! (hygiene). The Nose Knows Mary had a little lamb. The lamb had halitosis. Everywhere that Mary went. The people held their noses. Page 202

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The Police Judge at Home His Wife: “Dinner is ready, Herbert.” Police Judge: “That’s fine! That’s five dollars fine. I’ll be there in 30 days.” His Wife: I’ve fried chicken for you, dear. Just taste it!” Police Judge; “H’m! A tough character! It ought to be chewed for six months, but I’ll let it off this time with a warning. These potatoes are sentenced to the refrigerator for mashing! Ten days in the cooler! Next case!” His Wife: “If you’re ready for dessert just try this cake I baked. How do you like it, dear?” Police Judge: “Fine! A heavy fine! It has no visible means of support except this table—it’s a wonder it doesn’t fall through to the basement!” His Wife: “You idiotic, brutal—” Police Judge: “Don’t talk back to me! I sentence you to your mother for 30 days. First, however, I fine you seven holes in my socks! (let to work on them at once!” His Wife: “But, dear, I—” Police Judge: “Twelve sock holes!” His Wife: “But—” Police Judge “Twenty sock holes and a shirt button! Shut up now, or you’ll get six months in your last winter’s hat!” The jury had found the defendant guilty of second story burglary. Judge: “Have you anything to say before I sentence you?” Hilton: “Only that I’m not guilty, and that I object to being identified by a fellow who had his head under the bedclothes all the time while I was in the room.” A forcsighted girl is one who sleeps in a cotton nightie and keeps a pair of silk pajamas under the pillow in case of fire. The minister’s daughter returned at three o’clock from a dance. Her father greeted her sternly. “Good morning, child of the devil.” Respectfully and demurely, she replied—“Good morning, father.” She: “Do you know you’d make a wonderful fireman?” He: “How’s that?” She: You never take your eves off the hose.” Page 204