Iowa Wesleyan College - Croaker Yearbook (Mount Pleasant, IA)

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WE KNOW BUT WILL NOT TELL Who stole the stove lids. Who Wayne Anderson called before breakfast for a date. Why Ermil took Gladys to Donnelspn. Why Gladys took Ermil to Birmingham. Who belongs to the Suffrage Club. Why Aenid and Marie went to Burlington. Why Flora Baldwin is single. Why McCullough doesn’t smoke. What Senior let the beans and coffee down in chapel. What girl burned an umbrella at the hall. Why Luebbers is bald-headed. Why Prof. Dickey isn’t married. A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE Prof. Luebbers (entering classroom on chilly morning) : “Well, 1 see the frost is net on the pumpkin yet.” Clarence Johnson: “Prof, must have had his hat on this morning.” DOWN THE “K” LINE Vida Martin (noticing small pool of water) : “Isn’t that a beautiful little lakelet?” A LITANY To be chanted each morning. Oh Lord, this day deliver me from: Prof. Luebbcr’s jokes. An exam in history. A chapel call. Frye’s chapel speeches. Miss Yoorhees’s lectures. Leap year proposals. Jarvis’s campus calamities. 'Lax gatherers. Doc: “Fred Taylor is certainly a good baseball pitcher.” Aenid : “Yes, he has such a wonderful arm.”

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» lit t §c JHtgunberjStatxb THAT WHICH APPEARS ON THE FOLLOWING PAGES WAS CONCEIVED IN ALL GOOD HUMOR, DEVELOPED IN JOKOSITY AND IS PUBLISHED WITH THE USUAL CHARITY TOWARD ALL AND MALICE TOWARD NONE. WE HAVE NOT EVEN AVENGED OURSELVES ON THE SENIOR CLASS FOR THEIR CONTINUED OUTRAGES, SCORNING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR PRESENT UNPROTECTED STATE, THOUGH WE ARE OF THE OPINION THAT THEY MERIT CHASTISEMENT. WE HAVE DEALT KINDLY WITH THE SPECIAL CASES ABOUT THE CAMPUS AND HAVE BUT CASUALLY MENTIONED THE HASTINGS-FRYE AFFAIR, AND AKERSON’S NOT AT ALL; FOR THIS WE DESERVE COMMENDATION. IF WE HAVE NEGLECTED ANYONE WHO DISLIKES SUCH TREATMENT, WE ARE HONESTLY SORRY, AND OUR ADVICE IS, “SO LIVE THAT THE NEXT CROAKER STAFF WILL NOT OVERLOOK YOU.” IF WE HAVE RIDDEN YOU A LITTLE HARD, REMEMBER WHAT WE DID KNOW, THAT WE DIDN’T PUBLISH ; REFLECT THAT SOME OF US HAVE BEEN LONG SUFFERING AND THAT THIS IS OUR INNING, THEREFORE REJOICE, THAT WE HAVE BEEN SO MERCIFUL. LAST OF ALL BEFORE YOU BECOME EXCITED, REFLECT THAT PERHAPS WE DIDN’T MEAN IT, AFTER ALL.

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I stoic a kiss the other night; Today my conscience hurts, alack! I think I’ll go around tonight And put the durn thing back. He: “Couldn’t you leant to love me, Grace?” She: “I don’t think I could, Roy.” He (reaching for his hat) : “Just as I feared. You are too old to learn.” He put his arm around her, The color left her check, But showed upon his overcoat Just about a week. RUN BY REQUEST WHY PROFESSORS GO INSANE “Shall we write on both sides of the paper?” “I didn't hear the question.” “What is the lesson for tomorrow? I forgot.” “Are the test papers marked yet?” “Must we write in ink?” “I had my theme all written but I left it at home.” “What is our theme for next week?” “Did you say our notebooks are due today?” “I studied the wrong lesson.” “May I take my lesson tomorrow?” “Miss Lee, may I please borrow your key?” “May I be excused from giving my speech today?” FROM PHILO STAR “The butterfly has wings of gauze, The firefly wings of flame; The bedbug has no wings at all, But he gets there just the same.”