Iowa State University - Bomb Yearbook (Ames, IA)

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- TI-IE BOMB. 25 man in the president's chair. That sounds like Dyerls voice yelling Open up! I-Ie's coming down the hall this way. Yep, that's who it is! i-l I'm not a bit sleepy, are you? Then let us talk awhile-we are not held underthe thumb like the girls are. Ididn't go with the girls much last year, you know they always show a preference for upperclassmen-don't know enough to read human nature, I guess, or we would stand a better show. I raised myselfto a great degree of promi- nence at home this winter. Folks always seemed to think I was a kind of a jay before, but being in college a year just carried me right up to the top notch. I couldn't realize to the fullest my great importance, but it opened my occulars to my capabilities as a society man there. And, let me tell you, one of the first things we must do is to form our table in the diningroom. What do you say to inviting those girls we were talking to in the hall to-day? You say they are only Freshmen and that you don't care any- thing about mixed tables? That may be, but I've got to scheme some way to become popular in society, and this will-well you know. Positively, I am going to appear this term. O, by the way, had you thought that to-morrow night is the general reception? Say we go and show the junior and Senior yaps that we are their equals. -1? -- How did I enjoy myself? Immensely! I think Miss H--k is just the girl of the times--a close observer with lots of good common sense. Allow me to tell you what she said, and I know you will agree with me. She said, 'fl think the Sophomore boys are the most intellectual and highly cultured young gentlemen in schoolf' Yes, I did think some of entertaining Miss T-yl-rg but soon became aware of the fact that she is not my equal, for she seemed incapable of carrying on a very lively conversation, and finally abruptlylturned and wandered off with one of those ignoble Seniors. So you think she did not care to be capable of conversing just then? Ishould never have seen it in that light. Perhaps you larwe the best of me this time, but let me give you one piece of advice whichfis worthy of your acceptance. Hold your head high if you wish to be somebody, for if you do not exalt yourself Other people will not. I never before real- ized the utter insignificance of the Freshmen. What are they but a bewildered horde of humanity? Such a green, ignorant, gawky set! why, they don't know the first prin- ciples of etiquette! Blame the Juniors! I hate them worse than I do the Freshmen. I really don't kate the Freshmen but instead have a feeling of pity for them. But those juniors, they think they are privileged characters and say all sorts of exasperating things. Iwas just on the dizzy verge of a desperate scrap at the West House to-day. I re- marked that I must hasten back to the college, and draw for tables, or I would be com- pelled to eat with Freshmen, when a junior spoke up and said, I should think from your general appearance and the size of your cranium that you were not much above one now. 'It just made my blood boil and I would have whipped the ground with him only you know, I fully realized the depravity of class scraps and did 'not wish to lead my class into one.lWe must do something to become more popular with the girls and more noticed by the Faculty. Prex said in his chapel talk QI mean his special one, of coursej that he favored a class that had spirit and was awake to all the newness of life, and also told us to be men. Now wouldntt it be a good scheme to organize a 'tMus- tache Club to which only such members of the class whose facial expressions indicate a want of intelligence, shall be eligible, or would it be better to have every boy try it, 3

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0 Eyes. CLASS OFFICERS. President, - - ' ' I- V- CRONE Vice-President, ' VV- 5- IOSEPH Secretary, - ANNIE M. WALKER Treasurer, ROBERT E. KING Sergeant-at-Arms, - ' - - U- R- CULE C'l.fISb' .llO7'7'O,-4 Vliicllzzzsi sine 0czz!z'.f. CLASS COLORS-CRIMSON AND WHITE. - CLASS NAI-IEf NO-EYES. CLASS YELL: HE! HI! HO! I RIP! RAH! REAVIQN! No-Eyes! No-Eyes! '97! HISTORY OF NINETY:SEVEN. FROM T. zxs PHoNoGRAPH. A lPerhaps it -was hardly fairy but the Bomb Board takes no such things into account, so when the snake editor got hold of T. Z.'s phonograph it was immediately turned over to the historian. As Franklin's room was the favorite resort of Bigelow, Dyer, Damon, Brewer and Christyfand as he himself was there occasion- allyjthe phonograph contained many things of interest to the Sophomore class. Below we give a few extracts from its eternal talk.. The name Alex is entirely nctitious, and represents anyone from Short Hart- man to Old Bear. V It is no more than just that we should here acknowledge our indebtedness to the phonograph, as many things which would otherwis l machined e iave remained undiscovered were divulged by this guileless and unprejudiced HELLO! Alex, old boy! Donlt it seem magnificent to be a Sophomore and ino longerthe butt of the entire school! When did you get back? I thought when I went home last fall that I didn't care Whether I ever came back or not, but when the time came I was as anxious to get back as I had been to get away. What studies are you going to take this term? Iill tell you what I believe, Alex, it takes a year to learn how to poun- derate facts and stow away knowledge. I bet I can pass up all my work with good marks and not put one half the time on my studies that I did last term. Am I goihg to take extra studies? WellI guess not hardly. Pm going out in society this year. The governor gave me an elegant suit and a hundred dollar bill, just to start me, you know. Work him well? I should say I did! Why, he thinks he can peer into the future and see me either a Stock broker in Chicago, a minister in the pulpit, or a States- Q

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26 . THE BOMB. - ' and, if it is an improvement, require him by the class laws to wear said mustacheuntil he completes his college course. tt--- -- - The 4'Mustache Club is a success in our eyes, but some of the other classes think it is an invisible improvement on the faces of the majority of the boys. Although you are not particularly interested in the new club formed to hold the Freshman boys in check, what do you think of it? Well I can't agree with you that it has been a dead failuref' but I do think we are left. What queer creatures those girls are! just because we vowed that the Freshman boys should not accompany upperclass girls, those Soph- omore girls are absolutely crazy to go with them, and the boys just wonlt be squelched. W'e've stretched Shakespeare ten times, and still he is Owen us a great' debt. Then to cap the climax, the Freshman class president declared at the reception we were giv- ing them-yes, audaciously declared that they had equal rights with the other boys in , . k. school! -I guess we had better drop the whole matter. It s too big an underta mg. Come, Alex, roll out and hear the birds sing. It's 4:30 a. m., and we must get out and practice with the base-ball team, or get left sure thing when we play the Freshies. What will you bet on the game? I'll bet the supper at the Railroad lunch counter that the Sophomores Win. All right? Shake. just buried them! Score. 22 to 2 in favor of the Sophs. Now we must play the Seniors. Wonder how we'll come out in that. I feel shaky over the game? Not much! Still I don't bet on the Sophomores this time, and we rnustn't flaunt many colors. I Alex, you are a big chump sitting here delving away at some dry study when you might be out yelling for your class. Why donlt you wake up and have some class spirit? VVhat am I roaring about? Why we beat the Seniors all hollow! Whoopee! And then the trip down town and the superb supper! Whiat was the score? VVhy, haven't you heard! 18 to 12. Ntow let the Seniors boast that we are lacking in intel- lectual ability. I can inform them of the fact that it takes a greater intellectuality than the Seniors possess to gain what we are gaining. I tell you it takes brain power aswell as muscle to win a ball game.. A remark that I overheard to-day makes the insinua- tions of the Seniors pale and fade away. It was to the effect that it is the general opin- ion of the Faculty that if we apply ourselves strictly to our studies in the coming two years we may strike as high an average as the present Seniors. ' Let them howl and boast, we care notf? Field day has come and gone, and we stand victorious. The record shows that we have not neglected our athletics. The majority of the prizes were awarded to us. It isn't much pleasure to talk this over with you, for you care not a whit about it. O, really! would you like to know the score? Well, Sophomores 65, Seniors 455 juniors 24, Freshmen 3. I am justly proud that I entered I. A. C. in 1894, although I doubt my graduating here. Really I have not the slightest desire to graduate. I wish I could work the stand in with the Profs. that you have, none of them like me. The course is more diffi- cult than there is any need ofg not that I cannot pass, but that I simply do not care to. UL- I TNOTFYTGPICYC all that jssued from, the machine was a confused jumble of such words as -f'Mustache, I 13115 Clulj- X C- Ay Cl1lCk6nS! t'Turkeys! Prex ! ! ! Then came a time when all that could be iearc was tie woi ings of the phonograph s own inwards. Something had gone wrong.