Ionia High School - Ionian Yearbook (Ionia, MI)

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1932 THE IONIAN “By the way, how did you happen to think of hiring a detective to find out about the class of 1932 ?” I merely pointed to the worn volume entitled “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.” He nodded wisely. “Well, I must go now.” The ambitious young detective picked up his cap, donned his raincoat, opened the big library door, and vanished into the darkness and the rain. I ran after him. “Wait a minute, Mr. Detective!” I called. “How much do I owe you for your services?” He came back through the rain, and made this whispered confession: “Nothing. You see, they were my classmates, too, and I—I guess I was just as curious as you were.” Kathryn Buck Class Will We. the Senior Class of Ionia High School, being of sound mind and body, and in full possession of the few mental faculties we have left, after our strenuous pursuit of knowledge in the past four years, do hereby declare this to be our last will and testament before we pass into a new life of trials and hardships which always follows graduation. ARTICLE I To the Board of Education we leave our sincere appreciation for their untiring work in the past years. We realize that it is mainly through their efforts that it has been possible for us to realize our graduation. ARTICLE II To the Faculty of the Senior High School we bequeath: Our sincere gratitude for making easier our four-year journey along the pathway of Education by helping us over deep rivers of misunderstanding and to escape from numerous ruts. ARTICLE III To the Student Body of the Ionia High School we bequeath as follows: To the Freshmen we leave all empty desks in the session room—we fooled you—there aren’t any. To the Sophomores we leave a part of our dignity. May you come back next year and use it to the best of your advantage in showing the present Freshmen that you are worthy upperclassmen. To the Juniors we leave our deepest sympathy. If you attempt an Annual, you’ll need it. ARTICLE IV We. as individuals, hereby personally bequeath the following: Lee Webster asks that his scholastic ability be bestowed upon Russell Croel. Alfred Hamblin asks that his good looks, and his glib line that he uses so easily on the fair sex be given to “Charlie” Edlin. LaVear Ries leaves his all-’round athletic ability to “Toby” Campbell. Maxine Callow bequeaths her knack to get along with everybody to Martha Ramlow. Doris Kendig asks that her ability to translate French be bestowed upon Orson Coe. Floyd Gunning leaves the same suave and debonair manner that he inherited as a Junior to Gordon Benedict. Gladys Fehrlen leaves her title of “Class Heart Breaker,” and her collection of boy friends to Frances Wilson. Dick Snell leaves his ability to produce syncopated moans upon his beloved saxophone to Renaldo Quaglia. Bub” Campau leaves his well-known tennis ability to Flint Watt. George Estep leaves his assortment of fast gliding dancing steps to Charlton Whitten. Katherine Bensinger leaves her talent for playing melodious music on the violin to Ivan Connor. Robert Pierson leaves all loose parts (that are paid for) on his Model T Ford to Ed. Brown. He can use them, especially the motor. Harwood Ludwig Hass leaves his ability to produce a good Annual to whosoever may attempt it next year. You better take it. Juniors, it is a lot of work. ARTICLE V We, the Senior Class as a whole, do hereby leave all old books, pens, penholders, and everything of value to the first ones to find them. For all playthings we suggest that you look in Mr. Smith’s desk, for his was ever a watchful eye. Lastly, we nominate and appoint Mr. Smith as executor of this, our last will and testament. IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we have affixed our seal, on this 28th day of April in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nine hundred and thirty-two. Signed. THE SENIOR CLASS OF 1932. Subscribed and sworn to before me. a notary public in and for Ionia County. Michigan, this 28th day of April, A. D. 1932. (My commission expires June 25. 1932.) RAYMOND CUTTLE. Notary Public. [28]

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1932 THE IONIAN and the costumes were designed and made by Mildred Stone and Bessie Stiles. On Mildred’s and Bessie’s staff were Josephine Hawley, Arietta Rowland, Marian Kauffman, Laura Sible, and Esther Krueger. John’s interesting discourse was suddenly interrupted by a loud voice issuing from a radio. It was saying, “You have been listening to Mr. Robert Pierson, agricultural expert from Michigan, speaking on the subject of ‘Potato Bugs and Other Pests.’ This is station WRR, owned and operated by Ries Ries and Co., makers of the famous R. R. Athletic Goods. We now take you to our home station to hear Katherine Bensinger, in a fifteen-minute impromptu program entitled ‘Me and My Little Banjo’ —or maybe it’s a ukelele. Your announcer has been Edgar White.” I’m sorry that I couldn’t have seen more of this unusual reunion of old classmates, but a clue which I obtained from a whispered conversation there sent me hurrying back to Ionia, where I knew I would find some of the Class of ’32. On Main Street, I hurried into the offices of the new “Ionia Daily Mirror,” and behind an important-looking door emblazoned with the gold letters “Editor-in-Chief,” I saw the dim outline of a profile which I immediately recognized as that of Wallace Perrien. The silhouetted profile was diligently chewing a pencil. I was soon inside the office, to find that Alberta Johnson and Miriam Hoy were very efficient secretaries. In the main outer office, I discovered, amidst the noise and confusion, a busy person who turned out to be Beulah Holcomb. I saw Helen Monks vigorously applying her “complexion.” Agnes Badder was sitting on Winifred McKendry’s desk eating a huge banana, while Fanny Vance, who should have been typing, was blushing and smiling at the flirtations of a fat boy with dimples who sat at the desk next to her. Emaline Conkey was reading, word for word, advertisements on how to gain weight. Everyone suddenly started to work, and I discovered that Alice Sessions had suddenly come into view. Alice strode straight up to Marian Sible and indignantly informed Marian that she had misspelled Judge Lee Webster’s name in that article about Doris McNeilly’s damage suit in the Ionia courts. It seems that Doris had slipped on a cake of soap in the big Green, Morgan Good-enough laundry, injuring herself, and that she was suing the laundry company, Judge Webster trying the case. Marian was getting such a scolding from Alice that I decided to leave. I sneaked into a beautiful white building about three miles out of Ionia. I found myself in an orphan home, where Maida Hopkins and Florence Coon, as founders and head matrons of the institution, were happy, taking care of motherless children. Out in the yard I found Thelma Mosier and Inez Gallagher conducting a class in making mud pies. Lorene Bennett was deep in a movie magazine, while the children in her group were gleefully throwing mud pies at each other, until Alice Gallagher came up and put a stop to it. And now, behold the irony of fate—Sam Conner and Gaylord Rowe, the two salesmen who had sold the furniture to the institution, had strolled in from the back yard, and I watched them actually cutting out paper dolls with a group of kiddies. They kept looking around to see if anyone was watching them, but they didn’t see me. I laughed more than ever when I found DeForest Piper, the well-to-do Ionia grocer who delivers the groceries to the place, telling bedtime stories to another group of children. What a laugh I had on some of my classmates! There they all are—all of them; it was hard work, but I really believe that none of them even suspected that their own friend, who is now Detective Max Decker, of the Decker Detective Agency, was shadowing them. But then, it was all part of my work—you hired me to do it—and there it is, all done. And all on account of a woman’s curiosity.” So the young man ended his tale, just as the fire in the fireplace was turning to dying embers, and the rain was pattering softly on the library windows. Somewhere in the house a clock chimed the hour of twelve. The other broke the silence first. [27]

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