Ionia High School - Ionian Yearbook (Ionia, MI)

Text from Pages 1 - 82 of the 1907 volume:

ft , mm THOS. A. CARTEN 340-342-344 MAIN STREET, 114-116=118 THIRD STREET. Dry Goods, Dress Goods, White Goods, Silks, Linens, Hosiery, Gloves, Cloaks, Suits, Skirts, Waists, Muslin and Knit Underwear, Carpets, Curtains, Draperies. Our stock always contains a com- plete assortment of goods suitable for School and Graduation require- ments. Our enlarged store, when com- pleted. will give us the largest store on the ground Moor in the state. Every department will be in keeping with it. Trade at the Big Store. 4 IN IN S N IN IN IN IN in IN IN (V IN IN IN IN IN A A A A A N N N N A N A rt —-° Are You Ready For the Game? Ttfor business, for pleasure, or for whatever you 3y do in the great game, your Clothes are a most important item. You may win or lose according to the cut of your garment, or the fit of your coat. Don’t take any chances. We’re offer- ing you iijart- diaffnpr anil iSarx (Clutlirs, and that means the Best Clothing made today. Every fabric they use is all wool, the tailoring is perfectly done, the styles are correct, and we guar- antee a fit. We also handle a complete line of j Ijata, (Capa mtii (bntta' JFuruiahimja. IN N---------------------------------------------- IN IN IN IN AN Sf NI NI NI VI NI VI VI VI VI VI VI VI VI VI VI I VI 1 Thos. R. Buck. ' - . NI NV NI VI VI VI 1 VI NI VI NI VI VI NI VI VI V � 4 PHOTOGRAPHS.... MERELL’S are the best. PLATINUMS a specialty. SATISFACTION or money back at ....MERELL’S ... WAGNER sells Spaulding’s Heavy Athletic $6.00 Sweaters at $4-25 $5.00 Coat Sweaters at $4.00 $4.00 V Neck Sweaters at $3.00 $3.50 V Neck Jerseys................. $2.50 Big reductions in all Sweaters. Big assortment. J. F. WAGNER. ..Don’t forget that at. A. S. WRIGHT S call lx found a complete line of all the newest designs in Cloaks and Furs for the holiday trade. Dome and see them. % I SMITH SMITH ! ♦ : . v , . :...J— . SPOHTIMi SCPPLIRS ♦ I AM) | SCHOOL SCNDRIKS. ! § SMITH SMITH § Get Hardware CHAS. A. and ° IRELAND, Sporting Goods Ionia, MicH. G. F. PHELPS Sr SOJV, Groceries, Crockery, China, Lamps, Glassware, Granite and Tinware. Both Phones. 354 West Main Street. ? ■• 1 The F. W. Gardner Co. I SELLS 'I' Fine Candy at Salted Peanuts at IOC lb. f J Marshmallous at e are not the biggest toad in the puddle, but we sell the right kind of Dry Goods at the right price. The F. W. Stevenson Co. DEDICATION. To tlie school we love to honor. To ihe school we hope will prosper. To our dear old Alma Mater. We dedicate this paper. abr tmaiunt ?taff. STANLEY It. THOMAS. Editor-in-chief. KATHLEEN M. STACK H )l SE. Literary Editor. FItEI) I). DYSINGER. (IRACK F. CONNER, Athletics. ( HAS. A. ROSS, Artist. RALPH E. ROWELL. Pitfs. RHEA DUNHAM. Class Poet. GEORGE S. ( ARPENTER, Business Manager. THERE C. PRESTON. Advertising Manager. LEO G. WHITE. Assistant Manager. MISS LETT IE V. ST ELLBERGER, MISS KATHERINE TAYLOR. PROF. (’. L. BEMIS. Advisory Board. tBuurii nt Eiluratimi. A. S. WRIGHT. ’. TAYLOR. .1A AIKS YOSPRK. VRRNOX H. SMITH. .1. L. FOWLS, F. A. STIVION (0ryantEatiim nf thr ftnarit. President—J. ('. Tayi.oh. Secretary—A. S. Wright. Treasurer—J. L. Fowlk. JFarultt). ’HAItLICS L. IiKMIS. Superintendent. Miss Lkttik V. Stki.i.iikkokk. Principal. Languages. ( h as. L. I (km is. Science. Miss Katiikki.vu Tayi.oh, Fnjilish. .1. I� . Kdmonsox. History. Miss Lkoka Chapin. Mathematics. Miss Mary McCormick, Asst. Science. ('. H. Shaw. Penmanship, Bookkeeping. Miss Ei.izahkth Brow.nson, Asst. Miss Ki th Hi mk. Music Miss Ei.izahkth Monk. Head of Normal Training Class. 10 THE EMANOX SALUTATORY. Should you ask us how it happened. Who proposed it at the outset, Who it was that toiled and labored, That this High School book be published. That this Emanon be printed, We would answer, we would tell you, ’Twas the thought of mighty Seniors, Twas the work of unpaid writers, Who did hack-work in the valley, In the valley of Grand River, Not for fame or greater honor, Nor to fill their empty pockets, But to show the world around them That the High School is important, That the work there is most useful. Should you read among these pages How the Freshmen fought and conquered. How in turn they were defeated, How one night the school was raided. Do not spurn this High School primer, But remember that we students, In our mad race after knowledge. In our strife for greater wisdom. Cannot always stay so solemn, That the mind must have vacation, That our tired and o’erworked brainlcts Cannot always keep on learning. But do not judge us by these trifles, Judge us rather by our knowledge, Which you now may judge with justice. You shall learn of last year’s Seniors, How those Seniors held a council, Had a grave and serious council, At which many braves were present. For the question was a grave one, And involved a goodly number. Flow they pondered and debated, Aye, and argued, almost squabbled. A SPOILED CHYLDE. Whether they should give a party Where they all should find amusement, Give the Juniors a reception. As the ancient custom bade them. But, alas they lacked the silver, And in the wigwam of their treasure Could not find enough of wampum To fit out a single party. And that next year’s June may find us Better off than these poor Seniors, We are thinking, striving, working, Getting out a High School paper. We will tell you all the humor That beguiles our weary class hours; All the jokes and queer mischances That have happened in our school rooms; Give you, too, the best of essays, Best of stories, best of poetry, To amuse you and instruct you. A SPOILED CHYLDE. A spoiled chylde is in these wyde londes, That hadde ne beene smibben sharply for the nones; He wot no chastisement or “other woe” That is so gode for every wight belowe. And he must ever be with everichon The firste oon, wher that he is anon, Or elles he lifteth up his voys in crye, And loude is his lamentinge and envye. Despitous was he to houndes and his brudor, He doth not even mochly love his moder, He nevere sheweth ony oon kindnesse, He doth nat knowe what memeth humblenesse. His moder loveth him, but for the reste Who dwelle r.ere, they hate him as I gesse, Tor soothe he was a worthy chylde at alle, And soothe to scyn, I ne telle how men him calle. —MARGARET STEERE, ’08. 12 Till-] KMAXOX. EDITORIAL. I hose who, when reading our paper, may happen upon something of interest to them, may attribute it chiefly to our Advisory Board whose kindness and interest in the paper is most heartily appreciated. We are indebted to many members of the Freshman and Sophomore classes and desire to thank the Junior class especially for its unwavering support. Enclosed find the stories of our school-mates, their poems, humor and essays, wrought by the labor of many broken pens and half-eaten pencils and budding genius, for which labor please send us no unkind criticisms (as it would be a waste of paper i, but instead twenty-five cents if you still owe our book agent. Reading makcth a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man; but editing a senior paper maketh a full, ready, exact and discouraged man. THE COUNTY FAIR. “Come up, gentlemen, and take a shot at the babies. Every time you hit a baby you get a good five-cent cigar.” rl his was one of the first voices which I heard going down Main street. As I turned south to go to the fair the words, “Take a bus to the fair. came to my ears. Then I joined the slowly moving crowd to that great annual meeting called the County Fair. 1 saw in the crowd pretty country dames with ribbons of all colors of the rainbow in their hair. Here was a tall, broad-shouldered lad, whose pants almost reached the tops of his shoes, and whose hair and face looked as if they had never seen a pair of shears or a razor. “Hello, Silas! When did you come down?” “Oh, I didn’t care to come down myself, but my wife and the kids wanted to come, an’ so 1 come. How’s the fair this year, anyhow?” “Oh, it’s a little better’ll it was last year, and there be more here-----” Then 1 passed them in that large crowd and did not sec them again. “Everybody take a ride on the ocean wave. It will cost you a nickel, a half a dime.” In the distance I heard the cheering of the spectators of the base ball game. Exhibits of all kinds claimed my attention, among them a gasoline engine, a planting machine, and many other implements which I will not attempt to name. “Lemo, five a glass; nice hot taffy.” Now, don’t get so funny with that ’ere old confettv, or I’ll hit you with this cane.” Oh ! what a headache I would have if I had to stand and listen to that merry-go-round very long. “(Tli! the races!” “Go!” And then I saw three horses start on a half-mile pace around the track. “Say, did you see the foot ball game?” “Yes. What was the score?” Six to nothing, favor Belding. Here comes number five in ahead.” —CLAUDE DUMONT. ’io. u THE EMAXoX CLASS OF ’10. OFFICERS. President—Claud Dumont. Vice President—Grace Beattie. Secretary—Nettie Markham. Treasurer—Kenneth McBain. John Bailey Earl Hanigan Ira Benedict Eva Klingenberg Tone Bowen Edith Lane Mathew Bradley Ethel Metz Stuart Brock Jessie Meyers Benedict Canfield Chas. Moore Ernest Chase Bernard Ober Ethel Conner Harrison Sherwood Harry Cobb Marion Spencer Lilian Cook Ruth Stevenson James Elliott George Taft Sadie Fortune Scott Teachout Glen Gould Edna Warren Louis Hall Colors—Red and White. 16 THE EM A X()X. AN ADVENTURE. While in the northern woods, a friend of mine and I hau a rather novel experience which proved how easily a person can be deceived. It was a fine, clear day, quite warm, without a breath of wind, and as there was not much to do my friend and I took our guns and started into the woods to look over a tract of tim- ber three or four miles back. We walked slowly, stopping here and there to pick a few berries, or examine a tree, not hurrying a bit; we wandered along so slowly that it was about three o’clock when we reached the trail that led ofi to the place. As I had been there before I had no thought of the possi- bility of being lost, so we hurried along, paying little or no atten- tion to the appearance of the woods we wrere going through. We soon came to a belt of hardw'ood. and after some hunt ing found the old blazes made by the government surveyor years before. Following these blazes we soon made out the corner of the lot, the direction in which it ran, and located sev- eral witness trees, upon which were stamped the date and num- ber of the lot. We then started out to look over the timber, walking here and there and noting approximately the majority of the large trees, and their condition in regard to soundness. While doing this we became so interested in the different things w'e saw that we paid no attention to the direction we were going. However, it suddenly occurred to us that it was about time to start for home, and, turning around I started off in the direc- tion 51 the path, as I thought. We walked for quite a while, when my friend suddenly said. I know' we are not going in the right direction, for I have noticed several things that we passed not long ago. But 1 was sure I was right, so we kept on ; however, we had not gone over three hundred feet when we w alked into the exact place where we had been before we started for home! We sat down and had a good laugh at first, but gradually began to think more seriously of it, as it was growing dark. We knew we were a long way from home and that we w'ould certainly lose our way if we tried it again in the l$irk, so 1 built a fire. AN ADVENTURE. 17 while my friend went out to find a squirrel. He soon returned with two, and these constituted our bill of fare for supper, but anything does when you're really hungry. We picked out the softest places we could find and decided to make the best of it for the night. The moon came up and its soft yellow light filtered through the arch of leaves overhead, and spread itself in large patches on the dead leaves. Many times before morning I awoke, and the stillness of the night and the weird pictures presented by the woods in the moonlight, filled me with a sort of awe for the vast forest. The next morning, after a little careful observation, we found our trail, and soon reached home. But that experience I never can forget, and many times 1 find myself dreaming of those woods and their weird moonlight shadows. —RTCHARD VOSPER, ’09. CLASS FEELING. This year a great deal of class feeling sprang up between the Sophomores and Freshmen. There had been little of this class spirit shown before this fall. Why should there be any this fall? I have no doubt but that it sprang up because of the feelings and actions of the Freshmen themselves. A year ago there were no such demonstrations of class spirit. To be sure, I w'as asked by some of the upper classmen how I liked the high school. I invariably responded to the question, “Oh, I like it much better than the Central school.” But this year when I passed the self-same question down, the answer was, “Oh, I think it’s punk,” or perhaps, “Oh, it’s perfectly swell.” Is it strange when we hear a little Freshman telling about his “comp.” and adopting other things which in the past belonged exclusively to upper classmen, and exclaiming when he comes from his class meeting, “Oh, we’re getting right there. We’re IT all right”—is it strange that the Sophomores should have a fet.ing akin to that which some people have when they see a spoiled child become over-imperative—the desire to spank it? —RUTH NORM INC,TON. 'o() THK KMANON is A VISIT AT CAMP. What is more fun than a visit at camp, if the weather is fair, the stay not too long, and several other “ifs”? But a day and night are just enough to make one want to stay longer. At least we thought it so when we visited a camp on Lake Superior. The camp was situated on the brow of a hill covered with woods. At the foot of it was the lake, while on one side was the channel through which ships pass going to and from Duluth, rather than rounding Keweenaw Point. The first thing to do was to inspect the premises. There were two tents, the sole furniture of which were beds made of mattresses of balsam over which were spread blankets. Outside was the table, a very important factor at such a place. A cupboard was just being made of boards fastened between two trees. The dinner was even now in progress and very soon a famished lot of people sat dow1n for their first meal in the woods, and you may be sure not one left as long as there was a morsel of food in sight. All were in despair when it was realized that nearly all the week’s supply had disappeared. Dinner being over, it was time to go down on the beach. One of the children reached it more quickly than she meant to, for after rolling over and over, she found herself on her nose in a pile of sand. It immediately began to swell, until she was mostly nose, and a very black and blue one at that. We at first feared it was broken, but when it turned out to be nothing serious we took it as a matter of course, feeling that it was one of those trifles which one expects on such an occasion, to vary the monotony. I say we took it as a matter of course, all but the victim, for her wails could be heard loud and long, and we felt sorry to see that nose walking along with two little eyes on each side and the rest of the child beneath. Our attention was next called to the water. Just off the shore was a boom of logs waiting to be towed off. It was formed by a chain of logs forming a circle which enclosed many loose ones. At once there was a cry from the youngsters to go in wading and jump them. ‘‘Yes, you may wade,” they were answered, “if you are careful not to go out too far. They were explicitly told to keep their clothes dry, for these were all they had with them, as they expected to leave the A VISIT AT CAMP. 1 ) next morning, and also not to go near the logs, for there was great danger of their being hurt. They had hardly walked out when down went the littlest one, about three years of age. The mother saw him sitting on the sand below the water, which was over his head. There he sat, his eyes wide open, gazing around, wondering what was the matter, too startled to say '‘boo.” He was hut just rescued when his sister, a very bold little thing, walked out to the boom, forgetting the previous warning. She climbed upon it and walked around, trying to maintain her balance. Hut this was too tame, so she began to run, and the slippery things began to roll over, and over she went. As the water was shallow she received only a good wetting, which she was very glad of, especially when her mother told her she might as well stay in now she was wet. It was quite a common occur- rence after that to hear a splash and see a child soaking wet from head to foot. But who could be so cruel as to tell them to come out? Soon the afternoon was gone and it was supper time. A campfire was made aind a part of the meal gotten over it. When we all sat around the table again, we were surprised to think that so much really had been left from dinner. When all had satisfied their ravenous appetites, there was a cry. “Do look at the glorious sunset!” We hastened down to the lakeside once more, and there, far beyond the head waters, which were about a half mile out, we beheld one of those beau- tiful sunsets for which Lake Superior is noted. There were rivers of gold. The banks were high and there were rocky cliffs on which were dark and gloomy castles inhabited by those formidable giants we used to hear about. Over there in that reddish-purple lake was the very island in which the enchanted princess was kept. The lake itself reflected this brilliant coloring until it seemed like a part of fairy-land. Gradually the sky grew paler and the evening star shone bright, and the lighthouses twinkled at the ends of the break- waters. All was still save the songs of merry campers some distance away, and the splashing of the water along the shore. Suddenly we heard the hoarse whistle of a boat coming up the channel. “ Tis the ‘Wenonah,’ ” they said. Soon it appeared, longating marvelously as it drew near. It was one of those long freighters, in fact, one of the longest on the lakes. It was L THE EM A NON. lighted from one end to the other. As it passed out of sight, which it did with surprising rapidity, it seemed to be one great light skimming over the waters. It grew darker and darker, later and later, until night settled over the land, and it was bed-time. The owners of the camp had not expected any visitors, so when we came it made rather close quarters, to say the least. There were about sixteen in one tent, which was not an extraordinarily large one. I � nt the scent of the sweet pine soon put us to sleep. It was as one of them said the next morning, It was so crowded that when we wanted to turn over we had to wait and all roll over together. In the night the rain commenced to fall, an event which almost always happens, or one wouldn’t know he was camping. Immediately there was a great scattering and scampering to put things under cover as much as possible, and to remove things that were touching the canvas, so that the rain would not soak through. It soon stopped, however, and all was still once more. Morning dawned, and as soon as breakfast was over it was time for us to leave. We felt that all the things that Fate had in store for campers had happened to us that day and night, but nevertheless we were very loath to go. —KATHERINE WAR DEE, ’09. TRAGEDY-THE RISE OF CLAUDIUS. DRAMATIS PERSONAE. Claudius—Would-be president. Jacques—His wire puller. Freshmen—Weaklings to be oppressed. ACT I. Scene I. (The Indian trvsting place.) Claudius: How fares the plot? Jacques: Weil, my lord, your success is as certain as your Hunks in Latin. Claudius: ’Tis well. (Sings.) As ruler of the Freshman class I soon shall strut about; I’ll make the I'reshies vote for me Or clean the Freshies out. I sure will be the candy kid, And run this school just right. ()r else the little Freshies With me will have to fight. Well, Jacques, you understand your part. You are to nom- inate me, even though I am chairman, and I’ll nominate you as a bluff. Jacques: I'll do my part, my lord. (They then kiss the Indian good-bye and wander down the street.) Scene II. (English room. Freshmen assembled to elect officers.) Claudius: We are here, classmen, to elect officers, and even though you are wise, I leave it in the hands of my able assistant, Jacques, to give you better advice than you can ever hope to reach, and tell you how to proceed in this election. (Loud applause from Freshmen.) Till: KM A NON (Freshmen sing-.) Yes, Claud he is all right, Our Claud is out of sight, We love him with our main and might. Oh ! Oh ! Our Claud. (Curtain.) ACT II. Scene I. (The same. Claudius in the chair.) Claudius: Order; order; we must have order. (A hush then falls on the Freshmen, only broken by Dido, who drops an idea.) Jacques: Now listen, my children, and you shall hear Of the loving plan of your Claudius dear. Knowing the traps and pitfalls that lie Always near to a ruler high, He offers to save you from every care By holding down your president’s chair. Claudius (trying to blush) : Oh, no, my children, you must not hear Of such a plan made by Jackie dear. He is the president for our class, And for him 1 would vote first, second and last. But if you MUST have 11s, now take your pick But dotn’t keep us waiting, so do it right quick. Class (at the top of their voices) : We love our Claud with all our might, We love him now as ever, And from the class of 1910 We’ll never let him sever. We choose him ruler of our class, And right by him we’ll stand, For with him at the head wre can run the school And clean out that Sophomore band. (Here a voice breaks in on the scene and tells the class to postpone their meeting till they can control their feelings, so they don’t sound like a P. M. train coming down the prison grade.) (Curtain.) —J. K. N., '09. SCHOOL. Tell me not in mournful numbers, The Freshmen are a stupid set. Wisdom is not dead that slumbers; Perhaps they’ll turn out all right yet. School is real, school is earnest, And your marks are not your goal. To school thou com’st, to school returnest, To broaden body, mind and soul. Not to learn a trade or business, So the teachers always say, But to lose a little greenness, To be less verdant than today. This surely were an end to strive for, But your hearts, though brave and strong. May at limes give way and languor, For the task is hard and long! Trust no pony, howe’er docile! Let the answers go to smash! Dig—dig with mind and pencil! Work without the teacher’s lash! Let them, then, be up and doing. With a heart for all rebuff, Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to study and to bluff. -R. P., ’07 24 THE EM A NOX. CLASS OF ’09 OFFICERS. President—Harry Callow. Vice President—Katherine Wardle. Secretary—Olla M arshall. Treasurer—Ruth Normington. Pearl Amphlett Mary Beckwith Rosa Cook Max Culehen Don Cutler Ivah Dildine Fredrika Dingman James Earl Claud Emmons Hazel Goodwin Ellsworth Haight Lillian Jordan Florence Myers Clara Newton James Nichols Ethel Normington Margie Patrick Ray Pinkham Amy Reynolds William Smith Richard Vosper Corinne Wolverton Henrietta Weisgerber Colors—Red and Black. THE EMAXON 2( THE EMANON’S REPORTER. Up and down Ionia’s street, Sounded the tread of a stranger’s feet. And as that personage loomed into view. He passed the people he always knew Without a look or a nod. Although the people had pressed him hard. They couldn't extract from him a word As to who he was or from whence he came. Neither could they learn his name. Seemingly very odd. He went his way as histories run. From early morn till set of sun. Hut meanwhile the wonderful Emanon Was filling with topics which all came from A source that no one knew. We still explain to our good friends how This stranger is not a stranger now. Hut one disguised we know anon. The reporter of the marvelous Emanon, Known to a very few. —('. T., 'oS. ’RAH! ’RAH!! 'RAH!!! RAH! ’RAH!! 'RAH!!! 'RAH! 'RAM!! ’RAH!!! MISS HUME!!!!!! PROPHECY OF CLASS OF ’07. One afternoon as I was taking one of my accustomed walks in the woods, I wondered what would be the future of our class, and wished that I might know. Scarcely had the wish been formed, when I was surprised and pleased to see a little brown gnome, a merry fellow, his jacket as brown as fallen oak leaves. He told me that if I wished to know the future, I must meet him there again at midnight, December 31st, 1906, at the very beginning of 1907. I did wish to know, so, braving the dark- ness and loneliness, I met him in the same place at the appointed time. This time he spoke no word, but shook out a gossamer robe, which enveloped me like a mist. To my delight, I found my stature as small as his. He led the way to a rock, which opened at his touch, and then shortly I found myself in a won- derful white marble room. Before me lay a large block of crystal. By a gesture from my guide, I understood that in the stone I was to read the prophecy. This is what I learned: The first one, of course, was our president, Fred Dysinger, and I was glad to find that lie was in congress, an enthusiastic leader among his country’s Solons. Rachel Markham, as a literary critic and book reviewer, was making an epoch in literary criticism. Rov Reynolds had joined a contemplative brotherhood and taken a vow of silence. FMna Snyder was doing college settlement work and bring- ing light and courage into darkened lives. Charles Ross was a lecturer on Dietetics. He advanced the theory that over-eating was the cause of old age. Ethel Crowell was tutor to the children of an aristocratic Cuban family. Mabel Hinds had become a nurse in a tuberculosis sani- tarium. It was not iiard to guess the sequel of her experience as a nurse. As matron of an orphan asylum, mothering motherless child- ren, Isa Nesbitt was in her element. Stanley Thomas had solved the vexed problem of venting smoke in railway tunnels, and was engaged in trying to solve perpetual motion. Ralph Powell had won the lasting esteem of exponents of evolution by discovering that the planet of Venus was inhabited, THE EMAXO.X. 2 S and that by a race as far above our human kind as man is super- ior to the ape. Etta Storey was demonstrating in grocery stores, a product of her own invention—a food for brain workers. Leo White was engaged in an undertaking which I would have thought hopeless—he was reforming the Mormons. Grace Conner was a noted reader and impersonator, often delighting her audiences with original selections. The next information was in the form of a newspaper item, which read thus: “Rhea, Countess of------, nee Dunham, was last night presented to their majesties, the King and Queen.” Thede Preston was a worthy student and emulator of Sher- lock Holmes, his last achievement in detective science being the recovery of the jewels of the above named countess. Now behold the irony of fate. Florence Kerstetter in 1923 was yet a bachelor girl. I was gratified to learn that social arts had not been neg- lected by our class, for Galusha Carpenter was flourishing as a teacher of dancing and a specialist in facial expression. Lora Goodwin (Mrs. Blank), as the mother of a large family, was testing the elasticity of a ten-dollar bill. Amy Brown had continued her classical studies, and was publishing ‘‘Brown’s Translation of Virgil.” I tried in vain to learn the fortunes of George Carpenter, and was turning away disappointed, when my eyes fell upon my guide, no longer a gnome, but—George himself. —KATHLEEN STACKHOUSE, ’07. A MYSTERIOUS CURTAIN. I had been sick for some time and doctors and medicine failed to do me any good. At last I was urged by my friends to go and stay a few weeks with an old country doctor whom they believed would be able to help me. At first I did not wish to go, but as the old fellow had a reputation for curing where others had failed, I thought it would do me no harm, and finally consented. For some time after arriving I was confined to my room, which was connected with the doctor’s office, and did not have much chance to explore the place. The doctor’s hostler came in every morning to build the fire, and, as he was a talkative fellow, I asked him if the doctor had never been married. He replied that the doctor had been married, but that his wife had mysteriously disappeared, and the people generally supposed that he had rid himself of her, since they had quarreled inces- santl). He then pointed to a doorway on the other side of the office, which was hung with a dark, heavy curtain, and said he would not go through there if it cost him his life. L had not noticed this curtain before, but there was some- thing ghostly and weird about it, and I felt a cold chill run down my back every time I glanced that way. At night, and some- times even during the day, I could hear a murmur of voices, a clanking of chains, and a sluifiiing of feet, followed by a heavy thud, as of a falling_body, and 1 was nerved to the highest pitch. At last 1 was able to sit up and walk about a little, but I never came near the curtain or even thought of it without a shudder. Finallv the doctor and his housekeeper went out riding one afternoon, and I thought that this must surely be my opportu- nity for solving the mystery of the curtain and the doctor’s wife. So, with this purpose in view. I rummaged about through the doctor’s drawers and found among other things a revolver and a pair of brass knuckles. I armed myself wdth these, and, throw- ing aside the curtain, dashed bravely forward, only to find that 1 had entered the kitchen through a passage-way that was lit- tle used. —O. G., '08. 30 Till-: EMANON A GHOST STORY. My friend, who lives about twelve miles in the country, asked me to visit her during the following week, and as she had often invited me, I determined to accept the offer. She lived in rather a lonesome place, I thought. The house was an old one, but very comfortable, and was surrounded, or so it seemed to me, by extremely tall pine trees. The family was composed of my friend, her father and mother, and they seemed to be very refined, cultured people. As the farm house was so lonely and isolated, my friend’s father always took particular pains to see that the house was well locked at night, and if for any reason he was obliged to be absent at night, he always worried for fear the family would neglect to lock the house properly. Nights after I had retired, I would hear him going about from door to door to see whether the servant had dene his duty. Each day at the farm home was like the day that had gone before. My friend and I enjoyed many hours wandering about the farm or reading some of our favorite books. While I was at my friend’s home her father died. The fu- neral was held at the house and was attended by a large number of friends and relatives. While these people accompanied the sorrowing wife and daughter to the cemetery, 1 stayed at home and prepared the supper. Before long the people returned. Some of the near relatives were to remain for supper and after the meal was eaten we talked upon various subjects till about ten o’clock. When we were finally left alone we talked a while longer and then sought our rooms. My bedroom was downstairs, and the room they were to occupy was on the second floor. I was naturally timid and did not like the idea of being so far away from them at night. 1 did not say anything, though, for I did not like to trouble them. I soon fell asleep, for I was somewhat tired after the day’s labors. I think I must have simply fallen into a doze, for I seemed to hear someone walking about from door to door, fastening each one, as my old friend had been wont to do. I finally fell asleep again, too tired to think much about anything. The next morning 1 said nothing about what I had heard, for I thought it must have been only my fancy. The A (iHOST STORY. 31 next night, however, I did not feel as sleepy, and so I lay there thinking. Before long I heard the same sounds as on the night before. I stole quietly to the door and peered out into the dark- ness. Soon 1 heard a sound at the front door, and then it seemed that someone was coming down the corridor. What an awful feeling that was! To know that someone or something was coming straight towards me and I could not see who or w hat it was. While I waited I saw a figure approach- ing with a slow, halting step. I looked still more closely and then I started back in horror. The figure before me was my friend’s dead father! There was the same hoary head, the deep set, kind eyes, the peculiar neck cloth which he had always worn, and the cane which he had always carried, not because he needed it especially, but for some unknown reason of his own. I did not need a second glance to assure me that this was indeed my friend. 1 was trembling so I could scarcely stand. The figure slowly passed out of sight down the hall. 'Though 1 was afraid, some strong force seemed to make itself felt and I found myself weakly following the ghost. Down the hall to the back door went this strange apparition. It went to the door and pulled on the knob to see whether the door were locked. After doing this the figure slowly retraced its steps to the foot of the stairway. It seemed 1 could go no farther, but after lean- ing against the railing I, to some extent, regained my self- possession. Slowly he ascended the stairs, and I still followed him. 1 kjpt him in sight for a long time; in fact, till we nearly reached the top of the long stairway. To my over-wrought fancy it seemed that something was following me. I turned to look down the stairs, and when 1 turned my attention again to the spirit it had vanished, I know not where or how. But that it had gone was evident, and it was with almost a feeling of relief that I assured myself of the fact. 1 made my way as rapidly as ! could to my room, but sleep was for me impossible for the rest of the night. —ANNA GAUL, ’08. THE KMAXO.V Ye J vi n i or. nr CLASS OF ’08 OFFICERS. President—Ineze Snyder. Vice President—Mable Dysinger. Secretary—Martha Taylor. Treasurer—Loren Benedict. Anna Alspaugh Lily Ashdown Marion Cobb Mabel Comstock Florence Cutler Mildred Dunning Mabel Dysinger Ned Gallagher Anna Gaul Oza Goodwin Herbert Hall Nita Hanigan Margaret Logan Ruth Parmenter Clara Pinkham Louis Scheurer Florence Stackhouse Margaret Steere Myrtie Taft Martha Taylor Jennie Templeton Clayton Thomas Edith Warren Fern White Colors—Old Rose and White. THE'-fcMAXOX. M CLASS PROPHECY OF ’08. I had eaten the apple and sat counting the seeds, when I thoughtlessly tossed them on the stove. It was not a very hot place, just warm. I leaned back in my chair lazily wondering what would become of our class in about twenty or thirty years. Suddenly one of those seeds jumped briskly into the air, making an odd whispering sound. I bent over the stove intently. Would another jump, and would that seem to whisper, too? Closely 1 watched them. Sure enough, in a minute a second one jumped frantically and I heard it say in a monotone: ‘‘Clayton Thomas will make a fortune on his third inven- tion.” And then each little seed leaped into the air. one after an- other, each telling me the future of a classmate. The third one said: “Ethel Normington will be a foreign missionary.’' Next: ‘‘Myrtie Taft will be traveling with Ringling broth- ers’ circus as the celebrated tall woman.” Fifth: “Louis Sheurer will pride himself on his stable of fast horses.” Sixth: “Anna Gaul will be a noted lecturer and imper- sonator.” Seventh: “Margaret Logan will be a solemn deaconess.’ Eighth: “Miss Nita Hanigan will tench the violin in Vassar.” Next: “Martha Taylor wili be a nun in a large convent. Tenth : “Mabel Comstock will be at the head of a large hair- dressing establishment.” Last: “Florence Cutler will be a noted organist.” During this time J had nearly held my breath. But the seeds were all gone and I did wish ter know the rest of the class history. I ate another apple for the seeds; I put them on the stove, but alas! they would not move. I wrote down the names of the rest of the class and thought. After a long time that night I went to sleep, but only to dream. But [ was glad of that, for a wonder, for my dreams are as dear now as they were then. I dreamed of the names 1 had written. The first one I rc- ( LASS PROPHECY OF 08 35 member is Anna Alspaugh living on a farm with many children running around. Margaret Steere was cleverly holding the attention of large audiences by her skill on the clarionet. Jennie Templeton was, as a girl, bright-eyed and quick of tongue, and was selling tickets at a theatre. Loren Benedict was a blushing young lawyer, but then, “It is better for a young man to blush Than to turn pale.” Marion Cobb I remember as a busy little matron with far too many cares. Clara Pinkham was in the millinery business in New York. Lily Ashdown and Edith Warren had a boarding school for girls, assisted by Ruth Parmenter. Fern White was a busy little mother. “Shows us how divine a thing a woman may be made.” Oza Goodwin was a farmer, prosperous beyond our expect- ations. Mildred Dunning was still teaching mathematics. Mabel Vera Dysinger was at a famous ball and had not found her mate yet. But— “She was beautiful, therefore to be wrooed. She was a woman, therefore to be wron.” I dreamed I saw Florence Stackhouse in the midst of a farmers’ picnic, of whom the farmers’ wives said— “To know her is to love her; To name her is to praise her.” The iast one in the class was Herbert Hall- and he—oh! he w as in the barber trade. —INEZE SNYDER, ’08. THE KM A NON. :W A SENIOR’S SOLILOQUY. To study, or to flunk—that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in a senior to study The problems and translations of our daily lessons, Or make a pretense to the teacher, And, by bluffing, skin through? To be promoted; to graduate; No more; and by graduating to say we end The headaches and the nervous shocks That high school students are heir to, ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To be promoted; to graduate; To graduate, perchance to go to college—aye, there’s a point; For in our college course what principles we’ve learned, Here in the high school with these faithful teachers, Would aid us much. There’s the respect That makes our school days of so long life; For who would endure the problems and propositions of geometry. The senior essays, the German translations, The pangs of examinations, the chemistry, The trials of the class meetings, and the spurns That an earnest student of the teacher takes, When lie himself might his quietus make With a drop of potassium cyanide? who’d these fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life; But that the dread of being grave diggers, Or dishwashers from which no laborer rises, arouses us, And makes us rather bear those ills we get Than run the risk of getting jobs like these. Thus the desire for ease makes hustlers of us all. And thus the native hue of resolution Is sickled o’er with the pale cast of thought, And seniors of great pith and knowledge, With this desire to study, their pleasures turn away. And lose the name of thinkers. —RHEA DUNHAM. ’07. THE EDITOR DOING COPY. THE EDITOR DOING COPY. THIO EM A NON 38 GHOST OF DR. SAM’L JOHNSON Visits the Ionia High School and is Surprised and Enraged. By appointment I met the ghost of Dr. Samuel Johnson at the door of our High School. He wished to visit one of these modern places of learning, and I had promised to escort him to the school. Trembling slightly I led him down the hall to our superintendent’s office. He immediately began to look over the books. He had not examined them long when he turned and remarked, “Scientific books arc books which men of leisure only should take the time to study: how can they think of students wasting their time with them r” I told him that the world had changed since the eighteenth century. We now went to the main session room. We had hardly had time to look around much before he said, “This room is too beautiful and well-heated for a study room. No wonder the stu- dents do not study hard. Why, when I went to school we had to study hard to keep warm.” Noticing that the table in front of him was covered with books, he began to look them over. H opened every one, slammed every one down and turned to me angrily, saying in gruff tones: “Where is Taxation no Tyr- anny’? Where are my ‘Lives of the Poets’? Where are the ‘Idler’ and ‘Rambler’ and ‘Vanity of Human Wishes’? Such trash as in these maudlin magazines here! Are you people insane? What: Five dictionaries? And where is mine?” W'ith difficulty 1 calmed him and led him into the librarv, where I began to point out some of the books which interested the students, among which was “Henry Esmond.” He took the book and looked it over. As he opened the cover and saw the word “Romance” in large letters, he cried out: “Oh ! have all my efforts to check romanticism been fruitless? Of all things, to have a romance in a school library!” Seeing him so displeased with this I took him as a last resort to the English room, where I hoped he would feel somewhat mollified by the sight of his own picture. Here with pride I pointed out his own picture, and Boswell's, too. He stamped his foot in a rage. “That Bozzy?” He was never half as good looking. Never! And why have you that picture of me? The worst, positively the THE FIRST SNOWFALL. 39 worst, that ever was painted! I never looked like that. And who are those men next to me? Carlyle, Scott, Dickens, you say? I never heard of such men. Take them down at once, do you hear? Put my old friends beside me—Goldsmith, Burke, Reynolds. Bah!” he said, in a rage. “Haven’t you any sense?” As he stood there fuming in his old brown suit with the four buttons, his wig awry, his hands clutching his stick, the glare of the street electric light fell on him, and suddenly he vanished from my sight, buttons, wig, angry face, and all. —F. G. CARPENTER, ’07. THE FIRST SNOWFALL. The first snow fell last night. The world in stillness lies. Save where the bluejay wings his flight And the silence is pierced by his cries. The sunlight dim and soft clouds gray Upon the autumn landscape brood; While Nature gently lulls the day As it dreams in starlight mood. An oak in garnet richness glows, A maple pales in gold; But the autumn splendor failed, And snow has fallen now; The season departs, white-veiled, Like a nun who has taken her vow. —K. S., ’07., CLASS OF ’07. OFFICERS. President—Fred Dysinger. Vice President—Edna Snyder. Secretary—Rachel Markham. Treasurer—Roy Reynolds. Florence Kerstetter Colors—Fdack and Gold. Amy Brown Galusha Carpenter George Carpenter Grace Conner Ethel Crowell Rhea Dunham Lora Goodwin Mabel Hinds Isa Nesbitt Ralph Powell Thede Preston Charles Ross Stanley Thomas Kathleen Stackhouse Etta Storey Leo White 42 THE EMANON THE PLAINT OF THE JUNIORS. The Seniors are quite noted for their haughtiness of mind; Whenever two are on the street the Juniors tag behind; And when they want an errand done they let a Junior go, And order him to do it right and not to be too slow. For it’s Junior this, and Junior that, and Junior wait outside, But it’s “Let’s be friends again awhile,” when the Juniors take a ride, The Juniors take a ride, classmates, the Juniors take a ride; It’s “Let’s be friends again awhile,” when the Juniors take a ride. The Seniors have a fit or tvvo whenever we’re inclined To do a thing without consent from every Senior mind. They say that they are older, more experienced and wise; They want us to consult them, and they want to give advice: THE PLAINT OF THE JUNIORS. 4tt For it’s Junior this, and Junior that, and Junior run away, But it's “Won’t you write a poem, please?” when a magazine’s to pay, A magazine’s to pay, classmates, a magazine’s to pay; It’s “Won’t you write a poem, please?” when a magazine’s to pay. They worry us, they laugh at us, they order us around, They rule us in the schoolhouse, and they rule us on the ground, They patronize and condescend, until we are quite blue, And then they tell us, “Never mind, we have our troubles, too.” For it’s Junior this, and Junior that, and Junior have a care; Our one revenge is slow but sure—you wait ’till we get there! You wait ’till we get there, my friends, you wait till we get there! O, class that’s coming after us, you wait ’till we get there! —MARTHA TAYLOR, ’08. 44 THE EMANON. THE Y. W. C. A. The Y. W. C. A. of Ionia High School is a girls’ society which is a branch of the world-wide Young Women’s Christian Association. The organization in our High School was started in 1885 by some students who had become interested in the work. For many years it bore the distinction of being the only High School association of its kind ir. the state. This fact has often brought it to the notice of the various colleges in the state with which it otherwise could not have come in touch. The association has not only accomplished a purpose by bringing our school before the colleges, but it has also been a power in the school itself. Although its achievements have not been remarkable, it has worked quietly and has had an influence most helpful to the people whom it reaches. One of the direct results of its pervading influence has been the strengthening of school ethics. It has also aided the students to form higher ideals and to build nobler characters. Besides these effects, our society also aims to bring the students closer together and to form common bonds of interest, and it has always made it its work to welcome the new students who enter the school and help them to become acquainted. Is not such a movement worthy of respect and the support of the seventy-five or a hundred girls who attend the Ionia High School ? —RACHEL MARKHAM, '07. 46 THE EMANON. AFTER THANKSGIVING. I met a little quarterback, He was a bird, he said. There were some scars upon his face And bumps upon his head. “Our bunch is to the bad,” said he, “We are a crippled crowd; This morning when I looked them o’er, I swear I wept aloud.” “ How many are there on your team?” I asked the tearful lad, “ How many did you have before They put you to the bad ? ” “Alas,” said he, “a few are here And some I trust in Heaven; Before the season opened up I think we were eleven.” “We were a sassy bunch,” quoth he, “ Before we got our pullback, Two of us in the churchyard lie— Our center and our fullback.” “ Our right guard broke his vertebra, Our left guard lost an arm, I am the only player left Who has not met with harm.” I sought to ascertain from him How many were in Heaven, But he could only weep and say, “Kind sir, we were eleven.” —Milwaukee Sentinel. ATHLETICS. THE I. H. S. ASSOCIATION. The Ionia High .School Athletic Association came into exist- ence September 18th, i jo6, on the adoption of its constitution by the school, and the election of officers. Its purpose is to foster all branches of athletics suitable for high school students. It has been needed in this school for some time, and it is hoped that it will aid very materially in placing athletics in its proper place in the school. In the first place, those striving for athletics in the school will act together, whether for basket ball, track, base ball, foot ball teams, or for girls’ athletics, and by acting together each branch of athletics will receive the support of all those interested in athletics. In the second place, we hope that the teams, in acting together, will all be in better condition finan- cially. In the third place, this association tends to increase the loyalty of the students toward the school. In the fourth place, it has long been the ambition of the students and the faculty to have a gymnasium built suitable for our schools. The forming of the Athletic Association is a long step in that direction. The officers of the Athletic Association are: President, Fred D. Dysinger; Secretary, Kathleen Stackhouse; Treasurer, Richard Vosper; Faculty Member of the Executive Board, J. B. Edmon- son ; Manager of Boys’ Athletics, J. Max Culehen; Manager of Girls’ Athletics, Grace Conner. —F. D. D., ’07. GIRLS’ BASKET BALL TEAM. ox viva uni GIRLS’ BASKET BALL TEAM. 'Plie members of the team, as they appear in the picture opposite, reading' from left to right, are. Top row—Eva Klingenberg, Anna Gaul, Amy Reynolds, Margaret Logan, Fern White; center row—Florence Stackhouse, Edna Snyder, captain, Margaret Steere; bottom row—Katherine Wardle, Grace Former, manager. Mable Dysinger. Ruth Stevenson. Ruth Normington. Nettie Markham, Miss McFormick, coach. 'Phis fall an Athletic Association of I. H. S. was organized, one branch of which is the (Girls' Basket Ball Association. It consists of fifteen members, from which one team will be selected to play out of town teams. The girls have played basket ball before, but have never been organiezd under a High School Association. After school on Tuesday and Friday of each week, the girls practice in the gymnasium, if it may be so called. One game is generally played each night. When the girls finally are on the floor, they are very enthu- siastic, but the trouble is that everything seems to come before basket ball practice. The practice makes us what we are and we should get all we can of it. It should nof be put off for trifling things. Other towns around us are interested in basket ball and have asked for games, and we hope to play them. Our one great drawback, however, is the lack of a suitable place in which to practice and have games. To be sure the I. H. S. has an attic. Yes, and attics sometimes have rafters, and sometimes they are very low. Sometimes, too, the windows are small, and some- times the floor isn’t large enough or else its rather bumpy, and lanterns are always in the way. We ought to have a gymnasium, a separate building, with all conveniences. Why do we not have one? Because the school board, backed bv the people of Ionia, are not enoaigh interested in athletic work. Most schools of the twentieth century have athletics in the schools as a regular work, which every school ought to have. If the people of this city would wake up, and the school board also, to the fact that their schools were behind THE EMANOX 50 the times, and that their children were not getting the benefit of a twentieth century school, we might have a gymnasium, but until they do we will be compelled to put up with every inconvenience. The Chemistry Association have not yet offered to illumin- ate the gymnasium with gas, and until they do we will be com- pelled to resort to the lantern. You ask, “Are not lanterns a thing of the pastr” Oh, no! They are just coming into style in Ionia. We do not doubt that in the near future gas will be replaced by the newest automatic burner, the lantern. This change will probably affect the I. H. S. first. Nevertheless we will not be discouraged, but profit by our inconvenience, and continue our practice and games. —GRACE F. CONNER, ’07. THE GYM. The Gym is a Gym, But it’s not a Gym-dandy; In the future, dark, dim. It’ll be awful handy— Not for 3rou or for me, Not for ’06 or ’07, But somewhere around two thousand and ’leven. OUR TRACK TEAM. THE EMANON THE I. H. S. FOOTBALL TEAM. Right End—Hamden. Right Tackle—Dumont. Right Guard—Scheurer. Center—Alden. Right Half—(Capt.) Dysinger. Full—White. Quarter—Bradley. Left End—Ross. Left Tackle—Vosper. Left Guard—Hall. Sub. Quarter—Stevenson. Subs.—Elliott, Preston. M anager—Culehen. This is one of our unsuccessful teams. But, contrary to all precedent, we have not disbanded it because we did not win. We consider that we have done very well. The whole of our team was green at the beginning of the season. We have had no regular coach, although two or three old players have helped us a little at one time or another. We lost during the season two or three of our best men. The feeling in the school and in town has been somewhat against us. But although we have not swept everything before us, we have at least trained a team so that next year we ought to have a more successful team. Those of this team who will probably be here next year are Bradley, Elliott, Goodwin, Alden, Stevenson, Callow, Vosper, Hall, Scheurer, Dumont. Harnden. There are eleven men and all have had at least a year’s experience. With what new men that can be added to this list, and there will surely be two or three at least, they ought to have a pretty good team. Viewed in this light this has not been such a bad season after all. —F. D. D., ’07. THE KMANON . � 4 ATHLETICS IN THE I. H. S. During the past two or three years athletics in the Ionia High School have been, if not dead, at least in a sort of trance preparatory to death. The most violent efforts at awakening- have only partly succeeded, and each season our teams have played only two or three games and then dropped out of exist- ence. There is enough material in the school for a base ball team, a foot ball team, a track team, and a basket ball team. Why can't we have these teams? That is just what we have been asking ourselves for some time. There are several things which prevent our putting out teams, and good teams. The first and most important hindrance is lack of interest. Those who could take part are unwilling to give to it the time and the work which are necessary for a successful team. At our games the supporters of our team make themselves noticeable rather by the fewness of their numbers than by their enthusiasm. The Athletic Association as a remedy for this lack of interest is already being applied. The next difficulty is financial. This we hope can also be overcome by proper organization, although at present the Athletic Association is totally bankrupt. The third difficulty is that of the lack of suitable trainers, but it can be at least partly overcome when the financial difficulties are no more. And if the teams show the right spirit regarding work. I am sure that coaches can be found who will devote at least enough time to coaching to start the teams on the right path. But the fourth and last need is the one unsolved problem of the present, and it seems, of the future. Where is there a hall at reasonable rent in which this winter's basket ball games can be played? Tellus. These are our difficulties. Shall we admit that they are unsurmountable? If not. it is our duty to do some- thing now. —F. I). D., '07. We have a student named Roy, Who with study his brain will destroy, For he studies so much, Fie e’en brings his lunch, The better his noon to employ. HEARD AROUND THE CLASS ROOMS. Prof. Bemis—Give an illustration of a sonorous body. Herb Hall—A napkin. Prof. Bemis—How’s that? H. H.—When I was in the city last fall I saw them make a napkin ring. Assistant in Chemistry—Yes, potassium cyanide is a very powerful poison. Last year a student at Ann Arbor committed suicide with it. A discouraged student in the rear of the room—What’s the price? M. H. (translating German)—Methinks I hear them speaking. S. R. T. (in Chemistry)—Dr. Ix ng will get this class yet. C. C. T. (translating German, “Sie haben alle ihre besten Anzuege an”)—They'had all their best clothes on. Rhea Dunham (translating)—After this battle a new time THE EMANON. 56 of glory began tor Germany, the time of Dutch—I mean Ger- man—unity. All the Dutch—oh, German—states had fought with Prussia for a holy cause, for their Du—GERMAN—Fath- erland. J. B. Edmonson (to Don Cutler)—Cutler, who is the bright- est boy in your history class? Cutler—Father told me never to brag. Miss McCormick—What! Charlie Ross here today! Civics Teacher—What is money? Pupil (with sudden inspiration)—Money is the root of all evil. Mr. Bemis— es, it is the most powerful poison known. Why, a drop on a dog’s tongue would kill a man. Teacher—Why were the Assyrian Temples built upon hills? Pupil—1 don’t know. Teacher—Why, yes, you do. Why is this school house built on a hill? Pupil (with a sigh)—I have often wondered. There was a long laddie named Thede, Who certainly grew like a weed, For he is so tall. That if he should fall, He certainly mending would need. SOME SENIORS’ NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. Resolved, That I will try to regain my lost voice.—Isa Nesbitt. Resolved. That I, Ralph Powell, will quit flunking and bluff- ing, and study. DIGS. Resolved, That I claim no relation to Buster.—Amy Brown Resolved, That I will call no more class meetings at noon.— Fred D. D. Pres. Resolved, That we prepare our teams for the rush in Feb- ruary.—Boys of 07. Resolved, That I will stop throwing slush at the young ladies.—L. G' White. Resolved, That Potassium Cyanide is the end of all earthly troubles.—Chemistry B. Resolved, That a good watch dog is necessary to guard Sen- ior Funds.—R. R. Treas. Resolved, That I will pay a high reward ior a cure for Eng- lish fright.—Ethel Crowell. Resolved, That we will grow no taller for the present.— Chas. Ross, Thcde Preston. Resolved, That united we stand, divided we fall in chemis- try.—Rhea Dunham, Florence Kerstetter. Resolved, That another language would broaden my mind, therefore I will study Johnsonese.—Rachael Markham. Don is a Senior, strong and fair, Some call him Fred, with careful care; President of naughty-seven, Captain of our High School ’leven, Does this account for the air? WANT ADS. Wanted—The receipt for Don Cutler’s rosy cheeks.—The ninety-odd girls of the I. H. S. Wanted—The man who put H2O and chalk in my last month’s milk supply.—McBain. Wanted—A burglar-proof, double action, triple expansion THE EMANOX 58 grin stopper, with improved Chemistry attachment, at once.— Fred Dysinger. Wanted—Some capable person to operate an electric clock. —The I. H. S. Employment Bureau. Wanted—A private tutor, to teach only when ordered, wages (when teaching) magnificent.—C. A. Ross. For Sale—Eleven second-hand lawn swings, good condi- tion.—C. L. Bemis. Wanted—The man that wrote our Chemistry.—Miss McC. and the Chemistry Class. Wanted—The position of book collector chapel mornings.— Nobody. Wanted—Permission to speak to girls without the tiresome formality of raising a book.—Metzger. Wanted—Permanent occupants for two seats in Chemistry. —Miss McCormick. Wanted—Men to fill responsible positions.—The Junior Class. Wanted—Sixteen permits to cough.—The Chemistry Class. Wanted—A safe place of retirement for the week following the appearance of the Emanon.—The Editor of this Department. There was a young Senior named Stanley, In the eyes of all he was manly, For he sang very low, Fie was a basso, This Senior whom all thought so manly. There was a dark Junior named Hall, Whose locks o’er his shoulders did fall, As long and as dense As a hedge-hog’s defense: And if Barnum—but he’s dead. That’s all. DIGS. 7,9 There is a young Soph they call Harr)-, Who of late has had need to be wary, For he’s had a bad sprain, And his shoulder’s in twain, Hut still of his smiles he’s not chary. FOOTBALL NOTES. Right-end Harnden, the sleight-of-hand man. “My gauntlets for a aquare meal in St. Johns.”—J. Bailey. ‘•Get away from me, you great, big thing.”—Ross, at Beld- ing. It seems that Manager Culeheifs calling hours in St. Johns are limited to six-thirty p. m. We hear that 0. Dumont hasn’t his shoulder thawed out yet from that “freeze” he received at the Lansing depot. The contracts for pressing Fred Dysinger’s pants and shin- ing Dick Yosper’s shoes are now open to bidders. Apply to Athletic Association. Biddie passes back the ball, Mathew catches, but that’s not all— lie quickly throws it back to White, Who hits the line with all his might. NOBLE ACTIONS DURING 1906. Herb Hall present seven consecutive half-days. All at ONE TIME. The school board providing a trough iu the physics room. No more tear stained papers. Every little bit helps. “The powers that he have removed one stump during the past year. Til IO EMAXO.V l_. W. YATES, DENTIST. Thos. McGannon, FINE FOOTWEAR. 1 F you like Fresh Rousted Pen- 1 nuts and Nice Buttered Pop- corn, you can get them at the Little Red Wagon on the corner. WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! For whrtc you can get at the Pen- ny Holiday display at your PENNY PICTURE GALLERY, in the Morse-Babcock Block. J. C. Beattie, the Shoeman. 1866 1906 G. H. MULLEN CO., DRUGGISTS. 1866 1906 A HACK is nearly as cheap, and more reliable and comfortable than a 'bus. Order one of CAINE’S LIVERY. The Cash Grocery. TRY THEM. ....HAIGHT JEPSON.... SILVER’S CLOTHING STORE. Everything in Season. 323 MAIN STREET. Kiihtz’s Steam Laundry, 113 North Second Street. DR. BECKWITH. NICHOLS 6c SHEILDON l_ ANA V E R S, M ORSE-BABOOOK BLOCK. W. El. OGDEN, Physician and Surgeon, LA U ST E R BROS. Webber Block. GJhristmas lirrfummj. No more acceptable gift ever hung on a Christmas tree. PRICES, 25c to $3.50. (Eirtlrr Sc ICanstpr 0nuj (£o. GO TO ROBB REED’S for your Christmas Candies, Mixed Nuts and Fruits of All Kinds. We have Fresh Oysters daily. ROBB REED. ... SEE ... McConnell Schreiner FINEST HOLIDAY STOCK ANI) LOWEST PRICES. before buying FURNITURE. G. W. FRENCH, Special prices on every article at JEWELER and MUSIC DEALER. the Allured stand. BOTH I?HONES 157. A LESSON IN ALGEBRA. Today the teacher of mathematics is wearing her broad- est smile The lesson for the day is soon over and she lays aside her book. The class knows the signs and is expecting a treat. She goes to the board and writes: x —1 _XM XI“X-l “Now,” says she, “what does equal? “X+l,” ans- wers the class in unison, and under the first equation she writes: x+i= —l A+1 X-l which is evidently a simple act of substitution. “And, now,” says she. “suppose X equals 1, how will the equation read? “1 + 1=- -,” answers the class. “And, now, since a quantity divided by itself equals 1. therefore, the equation will read: 2=1,” says she. and the class leaves the room with still greater respect for the powers of mathematics. Bert Lampkin, B. F. Hutchins, CLOTHIER. GROCER. FRUITS AND VEGETABLES 402 West Main Street. in their season. TRY US I when you want anything in the line of the LATEST BOOKS. DAINTY TOILET SETS, THE BEST STATIONERY, OR THE MOST POPULAR PICTURES AND CHINA DESIGNS. S. hemens’ Book Store, Near Post- office. Si armors’ mutual Jirr Sluauraurr (ttumpaug uf dlnuia (Cuuutg | . O. S. WOOD, | $ ! insurance: and real estate, | 3! IONIA, MICHIGAN. $ C. G. Winchell, Endres Wrl8ht’ CLOTHIERS. DENTIST. Stein-Bloch Away down Agency. West Main. 1 GEO. CUTLER SON, GAS LAMPS ever placed on sale in Ionia on exhibition at the Gas Office. Ionia Gas Company L________________ UNCLE DELL’S OPINION OF SPELLING. “Well, now, Mary, if they hain’t hit the nail right square on the head. Who would have thought they’d ever spell ‘thru as I used to when I went to school, and used to get licked for it, too? Every timt that word was in the lesson, Bradley made me spell it, and every time I would say t-h-r-u, and then he would say: ‘This makes the hundredth time 1 have told you that t-h-r-ou-gh spells through. Now go stand in that corner and learn that word. Stop your laughing, sir, and face the wall.’ I never could spell, anyway. It seemed as if I always left out half of the letters. Bradley used to ask me why I didn’t get up a speller of my own. Once he asked me, after I had been trying to spell ‘catalog,’ and say, now, if I wasn't mad, and I spoke up quite sassy like and told him if I did he would know it, and I just bet 1 wouldn’t use forty letters for a word of two syllables, either. “Now here, in this ere paper of Smith's, it says that they are going to spell words as they sound, and all the big-bugs, like the president, have written letters, and you would hardly think it was English, they spell the words so funny. He says Samuel Johnson was the cause of all our trouble, and if he had never written his dictionary we would have talked and spelt different. Well, you just bet if I could of got hold of that ere Samuel when I was y oung, I would of given him a jouncing, and then maybe I wouldn’t of got so many myself. 1 can’t see why a man wants to spell tree with two e’s, when he could say t-r-e lots quicker. I don’t think that man—um—who did I say? Oh, yes! Samson, would of stood much show against these fellers in the new fangled spelling, and, well—I’d be glad of it. “I hope no other yungster will have such a time as I did learning to spell. Now, there’s our Charlie’s boy, John. Charley says its awful tuf on that boy. the w’ay they make him spell, such big words, too, like chicken, and fence, and apple-trees, and lie’s such a little feller. He ain’t ten yet, is he Mary? Well, say, if it ain’t getting dark. I was going to read this (Concluded on Next I n -e) G. B. FLEMING, DEALER IN Staple and Fancy Groceries. 1 rjM ♦ t ♦ ♦ ■ ♦ ♦ ♦ «r t ♦ t T VISIT THE NEW GREEN HOUSES OF DELBERT L. VINCENT for Christmas Flowers. i ROSES, CARNATIONS, PAPER WHITES, ROMAN HY- ACIANTHS. Also BLOOMING PLANTS, PALMS ANI) FERNS. MORSE LOC KE, A'lTORNKYS AT LAW, MORSJVBABCOCK BLOCK'. UNCLE DELL’S OPINION OF SPELLING. (Concluded) peace here to you, but I must go feed the horse, so you can read it fer yurself. I’m glad of it, anyway. The yung folks aught to be thankful for such a blessing. I wish they spelt like that when I was yung. You bet I would have been mighty thankful. “Say, Mary, have supper ready when I come in. I want to go to town after supper and see Bradley and just tell that feller my new speller is ready for use. Ha! Ha!” —ETHEL CROWELL, ’07. 1V I I ! to to to IV Fur9- HEARSEY’S. F rs Furs, Furs, Furs, Christmas Furs for your wife or sweetheart at Lowest Prices, where Fashion reigns. - - - ... ... Furs. HEARSEY S. Furs. vM i f U I ®lj? tat? Waitings lank INVITES YOUR BUSINESS. We Pay Three Per Cent Interest on Deposits . . . $ CAPITAL AND SURPLUS, $125,000. Never take us hack again to Battle Creek. Where the natives all eat imitation meat. They «lon’t grow any thinner By eating vegetable dinner, But WE wondered if there’s any more to eat. Bock-a-bye, seniors, up in the tree top, As long as you study the cradle will rook; But if you quit digging tin cradle will fall, And down will come seniors, diplomas and all. — I). (’., ’I)!). POINTS ABOUT SOROSIS UNDERSKIRTS Yoke No Top. Plaquet Hole to Strapped Gap Open. Seams. xvlf No Raw Flare Edges to Bottom. Mrf Ravel Out. Bound Perfectly or Tailored Hemmed Inside and Edges. ' v‘ Out. A Skirt Hanger given Free with every Sorosis Underskirt. For sale by THOMAS A. CARTER CHARLES’ HANKERING. I’d like to have a nice soft job Where I could simply be A sort of weekly visitor. To draw my salaree! And then, as that grew burdensome. An’ seemed inclined to bore me. I'd like to have some fellow paid To go arid draw it for me.—[Ex. And still the wonder grows. How little Hoy Reynolds cun carry all he knows. The man behind, the man behind, Oh, he is the wisest guy you’ll ever find In the team of two and nine, Tis the man behind the line That (always) makes the touch-downs every time. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ « ■ r «fi 4 4 ♦ ♦ £ § ♦ i In tlie I I LL line that, is really hi h class, let me send up m.v ft jiTeen wagon with a load. Yours for business, jj ft ♦ ♦ ft ft Citizens 141. jp. ft If you want anytHing John McQuillin, Bell phone 241. THE COAL MAN. Fred Young Co. George L. Douglas for for Hardware. SHOES. Lives of Presides all remind us. As before “The Desk’’ they halt. The chemical would be handy Known as common table salt.—MaCJ— Open the door for the Freshmen, Tenderly gather them in, Live them two hundred long; lessons. Teach them to shirk is a sin. Nome are so young and so foolish An armful of books home they take, )pen the door for the children. They'll study for study's own sake.’ —F. I).. '07. 'H ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft ft 4 IV _ Try a Ton of Solvay Coke. (JOES AS FAR AS ANTHRACITE COAL. COSTS LESS. W. C. Page Co., Both phones No. 2(5. Sole Agents. l ! vV U vl vl vl vl vl vl vl VI VI vl vl vl — f £souve D— |HflT P oPufc f OR N QfA vVt PyDVe. RTl s£ WHl T THEY cufy y T RH. f Rt pfcopU Wv o W V.V-fF e toVb ftppofte. vvw-v- K' ' THe HHRDts-p thU fof( T k A -fo -f £ lb fVDVlSfc TrY oJrs- ♦ ♦ t Way-down Prices on Way-up Quality t ♦ | IN J i Sporting Goods and Hardware i f AT £ | J J i The Webber Hardware Co. { J jM jM iMiM jM . . . W AA NH SECTIONAL BOOKCASES “YOU DONT GET DONE WHEN YOU BUYAGWOf FOR SALE BY Winchell Stone, WEST MAIN ST. THE national bank. CAPITAL STOCK - - $50,000.00. SURPLUS AND PROFITS $12,500.00. DEPOSITS .... $300,000.00. A special feature of this Bank is its Savings Department. Ask for a savings book at the National. Three per cent, paid on all deposits, credited semi-annnally. Organized in 1901, under government ins|tection. Officers—H. B. Webber, president: W. FI. Mattison, vice president; M. M. McGeary. cashier. Directors—Thos. A. Carten, 11. E. Powell, W. G. Longe, M. J. Allen, W. H. Mattison. B. F. Hall, H. B. Webber. IONIA FLOUR FOR IONIA PEOPLE. U ! , JACK FROST and naie S CREAM or wheat. Flour, Feed, Bran, Middlings and Straw. J. HALE’S SONS, Ionia, Mich. BOTH PHONES 65. FREE DELIVERY. Miss A. F. Caine, Mrs. F. Montgomery, Fine Millinery. Hair Dressing Parlors. M. Agostini, ..Namr (Earits fur (Enmmrwrmrut.. CANDY - FRUITS (Eraiufnrh-DUlrnlirrk Printing (En. GREAT Millinery Closing Sale —AT— Ionia Candy Kitchen-_ Before you buy your CHRIST- MAS CANDIES we hope to MISS STELLBERGER’S, 208 WEST MAIN STREET. see you iu our store. Come. Geo. Pappas A)ine and have a good time at the HOLLER RINK. Good music, good order and a good time. Open Tuesday and Saturday afternoons. Thursday after- noon for ladies. TT)e buy. sell and exchange everything useful, can buy on easy payments. Y .— C. B. JACK $r CO. j I I