Indiana University School of Medicine - Caduceus Yearbook (Indianapolis, IN)

Text from Pages 1 - 80 of the 1979 volume:

1979 RETROSPECTOSCOPE 2 3 INDIANA UNIVERSITY School of Medicine 1100 WEST MICHIGAN STREET INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA 46202 OFFICE OF THE DEAN telephone: 317 264-8157 My dear Colleagues: Four years ago you entered the profession of medicine as students. Your graduation represents the first turning point in your medical careers; you have now earned your M.D.! In doing so, you are dedicating yourselves to a lifetime of learning and service. You have acquired a great deal of medical knowledge and specialized skills. You are equipped with the ability to think critically and analytically. You can tell the ill from the well and differentiate the serious from the trivial. You have achieved that self-confidence which grows from certain knowledge. But raw knowledge is not enough. You will now engage in the art of medicine first as resident physicians and then as practitioners and thus acquire experi- ence, judgment and wisdom. There will be many other turning points and many other high moments. In behalf of the faculty I wish you well. We know that you are prepared for the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. Sincerely yours, Steven C. Dean Beering, M.D. SCB:mjs 5 “75 Years of Medical Education, Research and Service” 6 7 wu w h«OZ 10 The Real Problem Of Your Leisure Is . . . How To Keep Other People From Using It! 11 CQD( )hh£Wc }cD 12 13 15 91 SnOdVNVIQNI — DIAini One-hundred-seventy-eight strong came to Indianapolis in the late summer of 1975. We were full of aspirations, reservations, dreams and schemes, fears and tears. We met Mr. Sears the first day in Micro lecture — the first AND LAST patient we saw all year. Dr. Sawyer warned us. Dr. Gibson fathered us. Dr. Shellhamer astounded us. Weekends didn't exist, because quizzes were on Monday mornings. The politicians and the freaks, the jocks and the muckrakers, the white coats and the bookworms made up a larger group that united behind one common goal — SURVIVING. Our second year we were integrated with the folks from the regional centers, and the third year we were all here to begin the wards. There are memories we would never give up, and memories we will never be able to give up. Whether or not you liked it, Indianapolis has been a large influence on your life. Hopefully the pictures on these two pages and in this book will remind you of something funny, or sad, or mad — but at least something. 17 EVANSVILLE It is certainly an honor to be recognized for one's teaching endeavors. In some ways I think such a selection by students is more meaningful and gratifying than by peers since the senior medical student has had many educational experiences to use for comparison. — Dr. Edward J. Gesser, Outstanding Professor Things We Remember Most Likely To . . . Aspirate on bullshit .................John Adler Replace Ewell Gibbons................Bruce Adye Personally research cholecystitis .Gary Beck Chucklen when dictating X-ray readouts ........................John Bies Jog between myringotomies . Rick Biggerstaff Become a swinging bachelor . .Tim Crowley Find a cure for Narcolepsy....Mike Drake Become Team Physician for the Playgirl Lounge .......................Steve Dupres Be the only Dr. in the country who still makes house calls....................Homer Feree Specialize in Acne and Antiques.....Chuck Hudson Actually find and thoroughly research the Perineal Body ................Gordon Huey Write the pun column in the Annals of Internal Medicine .........Tom Hutchinson Find a cure for Jock Itch ... .Dave Mattingly Specialize in Pig Diseases.......Tim Moore Lose his 1st million dollars at the tracks .......................Randy Norris Be late to their own wedding ........Nancy Nussmeier Find a cure for alopecia .....Rhys Rudolph Develop photophobia from reversed sleep pattern and long hours in the X-ray reading room..........................Scott Schafer PJVC ... Squid Axon ... The Rubber Controversy ... Waiting for Beth ... The Petroleum Club hangover ... Fred's necklace ... Norris' bachelor party ... Death and Dying x 5 ... Parties at 414 Kimber Lane ... Window moonshots on Highway 66 ... The squeeze technique ... No-Doz ... Mr. Whiskey ... Rudolph's wedding ... The Flower Shop ... POP ... Dr. Matheson's Two-handed Draw ... Big Eddie ... The Marble Theory ... Primum non nocere. 19 At Play GARY ... I am extremely honored and pleased to have been selected as an outstanding faculty member by the Class of '79. I take a great deal of pride in this selection. It is especially gratifying that this recognition comes from the students themselves, the recipients and therefore the best judges of my efforts. Also, it is doubly rewarding to be recognized for something that one enjoys doing. Thank you very much. — Doctor Virgil Hoftiezer, Outstanding Professor 20 Sixteen members of this year's senior class spent their freshman year at the Northwest Center in Gary, Indiana. The curriculum was demanding, as it was at all the centers; but the atmosphere was one of close friendship between students and faculty. With the small number of students, there was an excellent opportunity for individual attention and everyone truly appreciated this opportunity. With the passage of time and the increase in responsibility on the wards, the basic science training acquired more and more importance. The experience which these sixteen people were able to have in Gary was one which they will certainly remember and appreciate throughout their medical careers. Students at the Northwest campus, 1975-76: Tom Barbour Nina Barbour Mary Bieker Tim Carmody Nathan Currier Tim Delehanty Tim Frank Larry Gray Ken Kesler Joe Koscielniak Don Lemke Tom O'Neill Chris Stack Mike Wenzler Marvin Wooten Jim Young 21 LAFAYETTE Remember . . . ... when Dean Beering told our director. Dr. Wagner, Good luck with this group; you have one year.'' how we tried to be ser us tr ... It was a wonderful and pleasant surprise to receive your letter relating that I have been selected as an outstanding faculty member by the senior class. I consider this a great honor and recognition. — Dr. David C. Van Sickle, Outstanding Professor ... Dr. Stromberg's saying, You may palpate that ... in the dark. ... the first Anatomy exam ... how much we learned one profitable summer 23 MUNCIE . I feel particularly honored by being selected as an outstanding professor considering that it has been considering that it has been three years since the young doctors responsible for my nomination were in my class f and it comes at a time when all of you are busy with the fourth year clinical rotations. Best of luck to all of you as you complete this year and embark upon your careers. — Dr. Duane O. Eddy, Outstanding Professor 24 The first year at the Muncie Center for Medical Education proved to be a challenging, yet enjoyable, experience for the nineteen students who participated. Though made up of individuals, the class performed as one within the realm of academics as well as extracurricular activities. Through the guidance of our admirable director, Dr. Anthony Dowell, our equally admirable, but definitely macho, assistant director, Dr. Duane Eddy, and our innocent, yet sensual, secretary, Ms. Jane Wiley, we learned the basic sciences with great fortitude and vigor. Of course, frequent visits to local drinking establishments helped to keep our collective noses to the grindstone, as they say. But perhaps the greatest reward from MCME that year was the establishment of nineteen close friendships; friendships that will hopefully continue for a long time in the future. Members of the freshman class at MCME 1975-76: Steve Ahlfeld Brent Caudill Willie Cochran Jim Crowe Ken DeHart Tim Gibble Bruce Hopen Steve Hyman Tim Kelly Jim Lyon Doug Moeller Steve Myron Bob Robinson Dan Scheerer Dale Sloan Mike Stiffler Rick Storm Paul Walker Steve Wolverton 25 SOUTH BEND ”... Thank you for my selection as an outstanding faculty member. 1 sincerely hope that you will experience a long and rewarding career in medicine. — Dr. John F. O'Malley, Outstanding Professor Students at South Bend Center 1975-1976: Dave Bashover, Don Bodner, Tom Cullison, Ed Elliott, Bill Engle, Tom Hennig, Rick Hoover, Doug Kuhn, Dave Laux, Linda Lundergan, Tom Luth, Tom McGue, Mary PPikus, Jim Raelson, Mike Rooney, Lance Seagren, Jim Sebastian, Gordon Weirich Who Could Forget . . Troeger's Welcoming Letter; Cadavers with O'Malley; The Golden Dome; Lois; Snow; Optional 8 AM Psych lectures with Freud's Best Friend; Dave Wehlage; Fighting Irish football games; Bretthaver's concern for medical students; Study Lounge; Snow; Hockey Games; Olsen and his Fish; Kingsley and Bodyguard Max; Fat Wally's; Spaghetti dinner and snowball fight; Morris Pollard's course on Who's Who in Ancient Medical History; Dusty's Sex Films; Burglar-proof Notre Dame Apts; The Library ; Pleasant Micro Lab with Dr. Pleasant; The Blond Secretary; NCAA Basketball Tourney; Kathy; ... Snow. 26 BLOOMINGTON ... I consider this to be a recognition of my attempts to instruct, and I hope that I will be able to improve in my teaching each year. This distinction is particularly encouraging, since many of us in the first year often wonder if our students really remember us once they have 'escaped' from the basic sciences portion of the curriculum. — Dr. A. D. Floyd, Outstanding Professor 27 TERRE HAUTE ... The members of the Medical Class of 1979 must surely know that I am indeed honored by this recognition. Further, I must confess and admit to a sense of personal gratification which is both deep and extraordinarily timely. — Dr. Robert C. Murphy, Outstanding Professor Row 1: Bob Murray, Cathy Cleveland, John Malooley, Joe McColley, Mike Minick, Carl Williams, Marc Weinbaum Row 2: Kurt Stiver, Jim Melloh, David Williams, Marvin Rush, Barry Aprison, Berry Morton Standing: Ken Gray, Amy Gruber, Mary Beth Haag, Alan Patterson, Richard Kebler, Tom Fischer, Tom Thrall The Terre Haute Cadaver College, over artillery punch, ruminates: on marvelous Marva Evans; on three totally dead anaphylactic guinea pigs; on the union, but not wedding, of Anatomy with Bacteriology; huh?; on Amy's Christmas of vegetable love; on alcoholism education as a disease in itself; all righty; on that one poor, mosquito-bitten jungle boy worth 25£ per day; on the fact that we all, sometimes, want to eat radio; on X-ray palpation lessons; and on our descent, even still, into the soggy, into the boggy, into the foggy unknowns. 29 GOLDEN APPLE AWARD R. Joe Noble, M.D. Congratulations to each of you, you have worked exceptionally diligently, suffering some hardships in the process; but recall your medical school days with happiness and a sense of satisfaction. Your achievement -(the medical degree)- is an exceptional accomplishment, an accomplishment that evokes certain privileges - such as the immediate respect of your fellow citizens. However, this is also an achievement that necessitates certain responsibilities: obligations to your community, to your medical associates, and to your family. Most of all, you have an extraordinary, even frightening responsibilty to your patients, who entrust their well-being and sometimes even their lives to you. Accept their trust only with the high ideals you share today. Do not be hardened to this responsibility in years to come. Never take the trust and responsibility for granted. So long as you care, you'll remain a good physician. Thank you, sincerely, for the joys of working with you in the lecture hall, and on the wards; I am honored by your Teaching Award. With greatest respect, R. Joe Noble, M.D. 30 TO TH£ MEDICAL CLASS OF 1979 Congratulations on your accomplishments over the last four years. From my initial acquaintance with you during Ncurobiology to the last senior elective, you have, as all good classes, been stimulating, exciting and have taught me a great deal. Of the three activities that result in patient care — that of today, clinical medicine; that of tomorrow, teaching; and that of the future, research — the most exciting for a clinician nwst be teaching, as this combines care of the patient today and care of the patient tomorrow. Your education has Just begun and as you use knowledge and are continuing to be taught by your patients, hopefully you too will have the opportunity of having these experiences made more enjoyable and exciting by teaching future students either in a formal setting, or informally in your practices. It may be possible that sono future group of students might approach, but none in my opinion will over exceed that of the Medical Class of 1979. With my warmest personal affection for each and every one of you, . Mark L. Oyken, M.D. Professor and Chairman Department of Neurology TO THE XEMSEKS Or THE CLASS OF 1979 I vl«h to extend sincere congratulation to each nenber of your claa . Pecelvlng your degree as Doctor of Xadlelne represents the attainment of a goal you sot for youraalf eight years 090 and I an vary euch avara of the tre-er.doua effort noit of you have nade to attain this goal. Thot of u who have had the opportunity to larva at teachers hope that ve have helped provide a foundation for your future atudy. ftecelvlng your decree la Just the beginning, hovcver, and you will not have tlise to reat 0« your laurela. - girdless of your ultlsata role lr. the aedlcal profession the need for continuing eedlcal education will be apparent to ell of you end this will be e life long challenge. Again, congratulations to all la your claaa. Chief of Pediatrics Peganatrlef health Center 31 To the Class of 1979i Congratulations! You have successfully conpictcd a dos.,ndlr.g eurrlculun that Includes too s ny leotures, leposslblo reading assignments, an extensive varloty of difficult clinical skill to aaster for eaoh subspooinlty, and excessive chores and busywork for your patients. 11 this In the face of increased testing and aore stringent aeadenle standards. It's a tiae to be proud. You have survived because of hard work and perseverance. Yet this Is Just another allestone In your chosen profession. The ourrlculua is deaandlng because there Is such to learn. None of your fellow physicians. Including your faculty, have yet acquired sufficient knowledge and skills. Furthcraorc, now lnforaatlon is added every day. Thus, we all aust be dedicated perpetual students constantly striving to provide better patient care. But there is sore to boing a physician than aasterlng scienco and technology. Patients also need huaane, concerned confidants who have insight Into the experience of being sick. Robert Louis Stevenson described the physician well In his book of poeas entitled Underwoods. “Generosity he has, such as is possible to those who practice an art, never to those who drive a trade; discretion, tested by a hundrod secrets; taot, tried In a thousand esbarrasssents; and what are core laportant, Heraclean cheerfulness and courage. So it Is that ho brings air and cheer Into the slckrooa, and often enough, though not so often as he wishes, brings healing. I wish you continuing enthuslasn and charge you to seek excellence as you pursue the next cllestonc In your chosen careers. Sincerely, Richard C. Powell, M.D. Professor of Hedloino and Bioehcsistry To the Class of 1979: Congratulations on having passed your initiation into the fraternity of physicians. I am certain that you have not emerged from your ordeal without having suffered pain and without scars. But you have survived, and your experiences of the past four years will serve you well during the challenging and difficult life ahead. You are now ready for the final step — that of becoming an accomplished physician. The next few years are perhaps the most important and you will learn much, but it is a lifelong process. To achieve this goal, you will continue to need much courage and strength, while demonstrating sensitivity and compassion. But the rewards are great for the true physician, and I wish you every success in realizing them. James R. Meadows, M.D. Professor of Medicine 33 To the Class of 1979, individually and collectively, congratulations on reaching a difficult goal and my thanks for this honor. Now let us, after celebrating this important occasion, continue with our work; for, in the words of Voltaire, II faut cultiver notre jardin. Robert A. Munsick, M.D. Obstetrics and Gynecology Knowledge has increased at a rapid pace over the last 50 years but it has not abolished war, or fear, nor has it made all men brothers. And yet, answers for the problems are available. They are based in relationships and caring. As physicians we have an unique advantage to apply these principles. To care and to understand should be as important as to diagnose. In fact, they may be part of the same process. Although medicine is considered a science, it should never lose its status of also being an art. Best wishes on your continued careers in medicine. Paul Riley, M.D. Psychiatry 34 With pride I reflect upon a four year association of varied and constructive activities with you as members of my silver anniversary class of students. Activism and controversy have grown in time into maturing, meaningful experiences for all. I am honored to be able to wish for each of you a new lifetime of richly rewarding professional and personal accomplishments. R.H. Shellhamer, Ph.D. Anatomy and Student Affairs Office Congratulations on achieving another milestone in your journey to your ultimate peak in medicine. It is my hope that each of you will continue to be a combination scholar-doer. That is give thought, study, and research to the medical activity that you are doing. This approach should lead to the maximum satisfaction and achievement. J. Donald Hubbard, M.D. Pathology 35 Do you subconsciously hold your breath when you interview a T.B. patient? Do you feel stupid when everyone else can hear that heart murmur except you? Don't you just hate when your resident says, I need a volunteer to work up this new admission, and everyone looks at you? May 13, 1979 Wasn't it neat when you first heard your name over the hospital page? 36 Remember how many times you've told the patient, Just one more stick. ? uoesn-t it majce you mad .—} for breakfast after being on call at the VAH and all they are serving is fried eggs and shit on a shingle? This page sponsored by: DANIEL E. BRUNETTE, CLU Special Aoent THE NORTHWESTERN MUTUAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY • MILWAUKEE Personal Insurance • Business Insurance • Estate Planning • Disability Income The Indiana IMPACTION We Dig Out All The Shit That's Fit To Print I.U.M.C. GRADUATES FIRST CLONE Indianapolis (UPI) Indiana University Medical School officials announced today that it will graduate 20 cloned individuals in this year's commencement exercises. Confirming what had been rumored about the IUMC for the past few weeks, Dean Steven Beerstein stated, The idea for the program came from an executive decision, from the top. It was our hope to further medical science by using the brainpower and facilities of the medical center and to give back to it by the addition of 20 excellent physicians. And, I might add, attractive individuals as well.'' According to reports, the program and initial cloning occurred approximately 6 years ago — co-incidentally about the time Doctor Beerstein became Dean. Utilizing hyperalimentation techniques developed by Dr. James Maddog, Department of Surgery, the clones were sped through their Wonder Years. Psychosocial adjustment was assured through the care of Dr. James Persimmons of the Child Misguidance Clinic at Riley Hospital. The clones were housed in rooms secured in the Student Union Building. Special parking permits were obtained within 2 blocks of the medical center. Thus their exposure to the normal student was minimized, at least during their 6 months of basic science instruction. Special classrooms were constructed under the Rotary Building. Studies of the clones' performances in comparison with the rest of the class on basic science grades and Nat'l Board Part I results were released by the University. b� i.« Se «Kt« NationAi. BoaM t. Completing their Clinical Rotations recently, the clones amazingly all decided to go outside the Match to obtain positions in the Medical Genetics M.D. — PhD program. 19 new positions were obtained through the University Certification Committee. Dr. James Demerit, Chairman of the Medical Genetics Department, stated, These new additions should give us the diversity in manpower that we've been looking for to do creative research and give stimulating instruction to the students. We welcome the clones. The cloning program has been without problem since its inception. There was one mutant following the initial procedure, however, even this has added a new dimension to the program. The clones, 19 Stephens and 1 Stephanie, will graduate with the class on May 13. Who knows? Years from now when a nurse is forced to throw up her arms in utter frustration and state, All you doctors are alike! , she may be stating the truth. THOUGHT FOR SUNDAY ... Does it really make a difference whether your white jacket is REALLY white, or sort of dingy white? 3« Kodak U.S.V.A. Releases Gomindex Washington (AP) — The Blue Ribbon Commission of the U.S. Veterans Administration, after studying the patient population at the V. A. Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana, has released a definition of a Gomer based on a 20-point scale. However, since being a Gomer is a relative thing, there is no minimal score needed to qualify; points are awarded merely to confer a degree of Gomerism. The Commission realizes that the final diagnosis lies, as always, in the clinical impression of the examiner. The following suggest that the patient is a Gomer: 1. The admitting note from the ER ends with sorry ............................lOpts. 2. Admitting orders include bath stat ...................................2 pts. 3. Patient (pt.) is referred to as John Doe for longer than thirty-six hours....4 pts. 4. Pt. is refused admission to any and all Marion County nursing homes .......11 pts. 5. Painless ulcerations greater than 1 cm. deep — on buttocks.......................5 pts. — elsewhere....................10 pts. 6. Pt. has hip fracture older than 3 weeks at time of admission for the fracture .. .6 pts. 7. Sent back from X-ray without barium enema accomplished.................10 pts. 8. Catheter straight drainage tubing under more than 10 pounds tension without complaints from pt........................5 pts. 9. Admitted to nursing home before the age of 46...................................14 pts. 10. Found to have maggots when cast is windowed............................4 pts. 11. Lice on pt. survive five doses of Kwell....................................8 pts. 12. Pt. is able to remove Foley with inflated 30cc bag ..........................15 pts. while in full restraints...........20 pts. 13. Pt. destroys spica cast..............8 pts. 14. Pt. removes a cut down .........2 pts. if between MN and 4 am..............4 pts. if hypotensive...........................6 pts. 15. Pt's toenails cannot be cut with clippers or cast saw.........................3 pts. 16. Pt. is a Caucasian who is mistaken for a Negro at time of admission...............4 pts. 17. Urinating on roommate, visitor, or physician...........................8 pts. on medical student .................2 pts. 18. Semiformed guaiac positive stool found more than 10 feet from the bed of the source....................................8 pts. 19. Fluid balance consult gives up .. .2 pts. 20. Femoral puncture required for daily protime............................12 pts. 21. Abdomen higher than pt's head despite 30°gatch of bed, or pt. diureses more than 75 lbs....................................4 pts. 22. Found in bed another pt. .3 pts. for each patient 23. Counted on stroke rotation but had no stroke .............................5 pts. 24. Old chart weighs more than five pounds..............................2 pts. 25. Ataxia manifested by scratch marks on forehead secondary to attempted nose- picking .............................8 pts. 26. Surgery indicated, but surgeon refuses ...........................lOpts. surgery resident also refuses .....15 pts. 27. Frequently overlooked on ward rounds..................................12 pts. 28. Fecal impaction despite ileostomy ..................5 pts. if ileostomy originally done for fecal impaction ...........................6 pts. 29. Pt. answers all questions asked of other patients in an open ward: 4 — bed ward .....................2 pts. 8 — bed ward .....................4 pts. 16 — bed ward.......................8 pts. 30. Drinking from urinal.................3 pts. while NPO ..........................5 pts. 31. Feces under fingernails ........2 pts. if guaiac positive..................3 pts. GENERAL TELEPHONE ELECTRONICS 39 U.S.V.A. Releases Gomindex 32. Psych service advises commitment but refuses transfer to their ward ......8 pts. 33. Pt. gives address as Marion VA, the Cold Springs Hotel , or the West 10th Street bridge ........................2 pts. 34. Presenting complaint on ER sheet begins found down ..............................5 pts. ends total body failure ..........10 pts. 35. Concentration of Airwick needed in patient's room causes conjunctivitis among visitors..................................12 pts. 36. Pt. bites mercury bulb off thermometer — if oral .......................2 pts. — if rectal...........................4 pts. 37. Regulates his own IV.............2 pts. other people's IVs........................4 pts. 38. Dyken's sign — toenail curved down so it stimulates sole to produce continual Babinski..............................8 pts. 39. Chews through Foley...................3 pts. 40. Found smoking: while asleep ........................2 pts. through trach .......................4 pts. while on ventilator .................6 pts. while on 100% oxygen on ventilator . .10 pts. THOUGHT FOR MONDAY ... A great graduation gift — new batteries for that penlight that went dead two years ago. THOUGHT FOR TUESDAY ... Is it really true that they used to do rectal exams without gloves? THOUGHT FOR WEDNESDAY ... Do you ever get queasy when you get snot on your fingers after you anchor an N G tube? THOUGHT FOR THURSDAY ... Before you graduate be sure to call up the Wishard lab and put THEM on hold. DATSUN PRODUCT OF NISSAN The Best Of The Worst Of Holy Mackerel THE BEST OF THE WORST OF HOLY MACKEREL What's worse than finding out the medical records girl developed bilateral inguinal hernias carrying up the old chart on the fifth admission that night? Just keep reading. I know they were bad, and I assure you they haven't gotten any better. Who was the best financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation. Who was the most popular actor in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down. Who was the most successful physician in the Bible Job. He had the most patience. Who was the most successful obstetrician in the Bible? Moses. He delivered the children of Israel. What is the first mention of motorcycles in the Bible? When it reads, The sound of David's Triumph was heard across the land. Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark. Because Noah stood on the deck. When was tennis first mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharoah's court. What instructions did Noah give his sons about fishing off the ark? Go easy on the bait, boys. I on- have two worms. 40 Crock Of Knowledge Steven C. Beerstein, M.D., FACP, FACS, QUAK Dear Dr. Beerstein: Recently I have been having fainting spells. These spells seem to overcome me everytime I wear my snug fitting underwear or, especially, my wife's lace bikini types. My doctor has told me that I am a crock. What am I to do? — Stifled in Cleveland Dear Stifled: Yours is an interesting problem with an anatomical basis. Researchers have recently proven the well known fact that a man's true brain lies in the scrotum and that the male of the species is ruled by his genitalia. At Terre Haute Cadaver College, Dr. Woods E. Owl and associates have clearly shown the true brain neural efferent connection is not the spinal cord but a network of nerves that run in close proximity to the vas deferens. The functional lobes of gray matter are in actuality the testes. Testing of castrated males have shown that neural structures that are found in the skull are only rudimentary vestigial reflex pathways for locomotion and personal hygiene. The information that led to this revolutionary discovery came from studies on 624 Teamsters who underwent 1365 vasectomies during an AFL-CIO convention in French Lick. Postoperatively it was found that 98.5% of the men were showing signs of decerabrate rigidity and decorticate posturing, an unusual complication. Stereotactic urologic testing demonstrated the centers for higher functions, such as promiscuity, lechery, debauchery self-abuse, perversion and horniness all are formed and found solely in the testicular cortex . An entire new speciality has been organized termed NUROLOGY . Getting back to your problem ... it stems from the flow of blood to your scrotal brain, a vital organ. The flow is easily compromised or cut-off by the tight fitting trou . I would advise you to wear boxer shorts or lace garter belts. Let your genitalia be your guide to better judgement. Dear Dr. Beerstein: My friend and I are worried about drinking. My mother says it softens or melts our brain. We are both 14. (She was the one that was right about my hairy palms. I quit and they went away. She was also right about my eyes being crossed forever because I looked crosseyed once.) What are we to do? We'd like to go out and get blasted with the rest of our friends at the bar. Spaced Out Dear Spaced: On the contrary. Alcohol has been shown to strengthen thinking and clear the mind. Ethanol is definite a known neurotoxin; however, only the weak cells die. You know, the ones with the weak, pitiful, sniveling dendrites. This leaves room for the strong Betz cells to grow and flourish. The unnecessary connections in the cortex are weeded out and only a super race of resistant brain cells survive. Booze weeds or selects out what we don't need. Go ahead and have a few. 41 The Perfect Med Student: An Evolutionary Preview by Ken Saul The most potent directing force of history has always been evolution. Whether we realize it or not, the theory of survival of the fittest is currently acting on all God's creatures to produce future generations better able to adapt to the environment. Undergraduate, premeds, sometimes included in the list of God's creatures, are currently undergoing evolution themselves as they apply for those few medical school places. This competition will result in the natural selection of a new breed of medical student much better adapted to the pressures of medical school life. Here then, are 14 features of the new and improved medical student. 1. NAME — A,E,I,0, or U. One letter name permits very quick introduction at parties. Time saved can be used for extra studying. 2. EATING HABITS - None. Liver will evolve capacity to convert atmospheric nitrogen into hamburgers and oxygen into french fries. Time now spent on lunch and dinner breaks can be used for extra studying. 3. SLEEPING HABITS — None. Biological need for rest will be eliminated by the secretion of coffee by the anterior lobe of the pituitary. Wasteful coffee breaks will now be unnecessary. Time saved can be used for extra studying. 4. HAIR — Kojak look. Wasteful chores such as shampooing, haircuts, beauty shop appointments will be eliminated. So will wasteful trips to the store to by blowdryers, curlers, hairsprays and dyes. Time saved can be used for extra studying. 5. HANDS — Two. Fingertips will evolve into Bic pens, thus eliminating trips to the drug store to get writing utensils. Time saved can be used for extra studying. 6. FEET — Two. Feet will become calcified and covered with fur on the ventral side and histology notes on the dorsal side. Shoes and socks will be unnecessary as will wasteful trips to the shoe store. Time saved can be used for extra studying. 7. CLOTHING — Simple. All worn garments will consist of biochemistry charts or drawings from the CIBA collection tailored to body contour. Students can then study between classes just by looking at their sleeves as they walk to the lecture hall. 8. REPRODUCTION — Convenient. Both sexes will procreate by asexual budding. Not only will lengthy heterosexual encounters be eliminated, but the entire reproductive process can be achieved while studying or while taking gross anatomy practicals. 9. MOUTH — None. Since external food consumption has been phased out, mouth will be replaced by an eye and an ear for extra reading and lecture listening power. Breathing will be done entirely through the nose, as will talking of which there will be relatively little. Time saved not communicating can be used for extra studying. 10. NOSE — Big. Enlarged nasal openings will function in efficient air intake. Olfactory function will be eliminated and replaced by the ability to explain neuroanatomy to invertebrates. 11. EYES — Three. X-ray vision optional for students going into radiology. 12. EARS — Three large ones, featuring selective hearing. Ears will tune out all words not found in Stedman's Medical Dictionary. 13. BRAIN SIZE — Big. Researchers at two major universities found that to absorb all taught material, the medical student should have a cranial cavity the size of Wyoming. But since this would cause serious problems on subways, the problem will be solved in another manner. Unnecessary muscles such as biceps, triceps, and sartorius will be replaced by ectopic cerebral tissue to help learn more. Loss of musculature will somewhat hinder the ability to compete in team sports, and thus open up even more time to study. 14. BRAIN FUNCTION — Selective. With brain size limited to some extent, 95% of both cerebral hemispheres must be directed toward memorizing medical trivia. Consequently, the new and improved brain will not have the capacity to accomplish such everyday functions as reading a newspaper, humming Ukranian folk songs, or recalling why you watch Charlie's Angels . Classifieds FOR SWAP OR TRADE — will trade HARRISON and SCHWARTZ for a good set of nonsliding bookends. — complete dissection kit for one Chevy tuning wrency. — one Hewlett-Packard scope for any Radiology text. WANTED — 2500 Wishard scrub suit tops (by Wishard) — 1 oz. of respect from any OB nurse at WMH — baby crib, baby clothes and diapers. FOR SALE Scrub shirts, $3, (working my way through Med School.) PERSONAL — looking for father of boy born with short, blonde, curly hair, glasses, disco shirt, and high heeled booties. JOBS — sell sperm, $25 per shot; work your own hours. — Freshman med students needed to do H P's for Chiropractor. — Externs needed for Indpls. Industrial and Harcourt Clinics. Must be board certified in Low Back Pain. — Armed Guards wanted at doors to Laminar Flow Room at Univ. Hosp. Must be able to spot and destroy Jr. Students who try to enter and observe any ortho surgery. Lifeline: Tonight, lifeline visits the IUMC to follow a Jr. Med Student as he attempts to start his first IV. Much violence and foul language. (Special 2-hour episode) Mork and Mindy: Tonight, Mork follows Mindy to her job as a Surrogate Patient for Beginning GYN Students. Alot of repetition, but stimulating. Family Feud: Tonight, we see the Justup Family (Dad, Maddog, Lumpy, and the Sag-a-lot-ski Twins) against the Dull-y's (Spike, Fish, Cheeburger, Lee Marvin, and Stonehead). This week's winner goes against the big winners from last week, the Shiners (Mo, Peppermint Pat, Dr. Greasedham, and Eegor. Star Trek: A Vullcan Ship crash lands into the middle of an IUMC staff meeting, decides there is no intelligent life on earth, and departs under tow of 8,000 golf carts found stowed in strange little caverns beneath the Center. Delta is ready when you are! Ann Slanders: Sexism In Medicine Dear Ann Slanders, I am a medical student who has the terrible misfortune of being in a minority group in my class. I am a female. Now most people would assume that this is an enviable position since the ratio is in my favor, but let me tell you what it is really like. Imagine the cold stiff dismembered hand of a cadaver slinking up your thigh as you are industriously dissecting as eyeball. Or picture yourself being blamed by your resident for the spontaneous erection your comatose patient has during morning rounds. Or what do you say when your Psych resident is more interested in his student's that in his patient's sexual history? Or your surgery staff who feels that your grade is better correlated with your ability to flirt and bake cakes than with your suturing skills? Ann, how can I respond to these sexist pigs? Signed ... Used and Abused in Indianapolis Dear Used: The only women who attract pigs are the ones who cry, Sooeee! Read on as the pigs respond. (Oink, Oink) Dear Ann Slanders, I am a serious hard-working dedicated medical student with a problem — female medical students. I am sick and tired of spending 18 hours each day in the hospital providing superior care for my patients and barely getting a passing grade, while my female colleague spends one night on call so to speak with the resident and receives honors . I considered imitating my competition's strategy, but let's face it — I would look ridiculous in a short skirt and a tight white coat. Besides, Home Ec was not one of my Pre-Med courses and I had the embarrassing experience of having the one cake I baked refused by even the patients at the V. A. Hospital. The only one who gave me Honors in a course was my Psych resident — and he was gay! How does one survive this reverse discrimination? Signed ... Dedicated and Disgruntled Dear Dedicated: Won't you also be a resident some day? Then maybe some disadvantages will become advantages. Dear Ann Slanders, I have encountered a problem with the IUMC library. It seems they do not have a frequently used reference book called THE LITERATURE . I have searched intensely in the stacks and periodical sections and still can't find this book. Signed ... Lost in the Stacks Dear Lost: I would guess that THE LITERATURE is always checked out, judging from the frequency with which it is quoted. I would suggest that you talk to the librarian about getting on a waiting list for THE LITERATURE . Dear Ann Slanders, I think you gave me bad advice. You said that spermicidal jelly is an acceptable form of birth control. Well, I'll have you know that I used it on my toast EVERY MORNING faithfully and I still got pregnant! Signed ... Bun in the Oven Dear Bun in the Oven: I am sorry about your misfortune but can't understand how you got pregnant with all that toast stuffed up there. GO GREYHOUND ...and leave the driving tous' 44 SENIORS John D. Adler Bruce Alan Adye Steven K. Ahlfeld Ronald Anderson Robert Newman Aufield Carol Schobert Ballard Mark Alan Ballard Nina Shoshoo Barbour Thomas P. Barbour Dave Bashover Mary-Louise Bates Rick Beardsley Gary L. Beck Buck Beeler John Beghin Michael A. Berk Mary Ann Bieker John R. Bies Richard J. Biggerstaff Kenneth A. Bisson Randall C. Blake Jeffrey L. Blickenstaff Henry W. Bockelman Dennis I. Bojrab Dennis Bowsher Robert K. Brateman Charles R. Bricker 46 Michaels. Cardwell Timothy M. Carmody Thomas E. Carson Kathryn Cashner Barbara G. Cler Minot Cleveland Donald J. Clutter Diana Lynn Clark 47 Steven Allen Clark Neal D. Clemenson Willie Cochran, Jr. Jack Warren Coggeshall James Sander Cohen Thomas J. Connor III Kenneth A. Conrad David Cowger Michael Kenneth Crider Christine M. Crisafulli Timothy M. Crowley Tom Cullison Nathan R. Currier Robert E. Darnaby Brian W. Davies Lynn Danette Day Jerry A. Dearth Michael W. Day Timothy A. Delehanty Karl S. Delwga 48 David Bruce DeWitte John Dick Richards. Dickmeyer, Jr. William R. Dodd Philip Doering Michael Drake Bob Dykstra Stanley R. Eckert David Eibling Richard Eller Edward F. Elliott, Jr. William A. Engle Michael A. Englert Jay Erdman John Ewalt Thomas H. Fairchild 49 Martin Rhys Farlow Theresa Jo Fee man James R. Feltt Homer A. Ferree, Jr. Thomas James Fischer Timothy Keith Frank Michael Wilford French Thomas C. Friedrich Terry M. Gaff Don Gentile Timothy P. Gibble Dale J. Giolas 50 Mark C. Glazier W. Scott Glickfield Kathy Goehring Jose Ramon Gonzalez Phillip E. Goshert Lawrence Neal Gray Amy Lynn Gruber Doug Hall Alice Catherine Harrington Steve Hartman Daniel F. Hayes Barry Heller Thomas E. Hennig, Jr Mary Elizabeth Hinkle Martin Hirsch James J. Holloway Rick L. Hoover Bruce Hopen Chuck Hadson Gordon Reed Huey 51 John Stephen Huff Thomas Lee Hutchinson Steve Alan Hyman Charles James David Jentz Jeffrey Jones David Morris Kanter Richard S. Kebler Kenneth Allen Kesler Roland M. Kohr Patricia Kay Kotylo John Carl Kovach Mark Stuart Kremers 52 Debi Krugman Duane H. Kuhlenschmidt Douglas August Kuhn Don Lemke Robert A. Lew, Jr. Naegwen Lim Li Georgiann Linnemeier Tom Ludwig Linda L. Lundergan Thomas Luth James Lyon Nancy Macdonald Diane Mackel 53 Tom Madden John Ralph Malooley L. Jay Matchett David A. Mattingly Joseph R. McColley J. Scott McConnaughey John Mark Daniel Edwin L. McEowen Thomas E. McGue Ken McKee Linda C. McQuinn Thomas E. McSoley Daniel Maurice Metzger Jeffrey Miller Scott A. Miller John Maurice Milligan 54 Gregory B. Miliis Douglas J. Moeller Dominic Joseph Moffo David W. Moore Jeffrey Keith Moore Noel Tim Moore Jonathan Morris Anita Luoma Morton Berry E. Morton Robert Murray Stephen R. Myron Michael R. Niemeier Randy Norris Nancy A. Nussmeier Steve Oliver Kathryn Kretz Osborn 55 Robert M. Pascuzzi Mike Passo Kenton Pate Alan B. Patterson James M. Pearce John C. Pease Russ Pellar Frank Wood Peyton, Jr. Mary M. Pikus John F. Powell James F. Raelson Michael G. Raymond Philip Norman Redlich Dana H. Reihman Kurt Retrum Katherine Richardson Roy A. Ringenberg John F. Robb Robert D. Robinson III Bob Robison 56 Michael T. Rooney Elizabeth Rosquette Hector Rosquette Mary D. Rocap Rouse Thomas Martin Rouse William P. Ruckman Rhys A. Rudolph Marvin Ray Rush John J. Ryan Joseph Schachter 57 Scott W. Schafer Daniel B. Scheerer Steven I. Schmidt John K. Schneider Ronald G. Scott Lance R. Seagren G. Mark Seal James L. Sebastian Michael Dean Seeman Terry L. Shipe Dale Allen Sloan Steven Alan Smith Claudia J. Somes Lee Sredzinski Christopher Stack Gary A. Stein Mary Jo Stine Kurt H. Stiver Richard Mason Storm Alene P. Strahan Hannis W. Thompson III 58 Pio G. Valenzuela II Marvin Vollmer Kim Alan Volz Jeffrey D. Voreis David J. Waggoner Ursula Watson Gerald W. Wehr Suzanne Wehrenberg Gordon Weirich Michael Wenzler Steven Reynolds West John Edward Westfall Evelyn P. Whitlock C. Michael Wieghard David A. Williams Deborah L. Williams Paul G. Wilson Mark Wineinger Robert J. Wise Randall Kevin Wolf 59 Steve Wolverton Todd Woodruff RobertO. Wuthrich King Gin Yee Laurel B. Yocom Dick Zercher Kenneth L. DeHart Patrick J. Enright Joan Marie Kuric James R. Melloh Those Not Pictured Ruth Irene Bailey Sue Ellen Benecke Donald Roger Bodner Scott Porter Bowers Robert Alan Buckley Brent Kimbrell Caudill Jay Jerome Cohen Mark Dexter Cohen James Arthur Crowe Robert Raymond Croell John Kitchin Cuddeback Diana Sue Davis Dennis Michael Derosa Barbara Bivens Donahue Ernest Stephen Dupre Charles A. Durrell III Matthew Reppert Galvin Robert Patrick Gillis Kenneth Wayne Gray Dean Alan Hawley Timothy Joseph Kelly Joseph B. Coscielniak, Jr Raymond L. Krzyzaniak David Craig Laux Dianne Martin Michael Creviston Minick Thomas Kevin O'Neill Benjamin Samuel Plotkin William Walter Pond Douglas Edward Roth Margaret Bernadette Ryan Marc Alan Steinmetz Paul Terry Steinmetz Don Michael Stiffler Thomas Michael Thrall Roger Alan True Kathryn Amelia Vaughn Marc Eliot Weinbaum Marvin Ray Wooten Michael Stephen Yacko James Allen Young Robert Alan Yount 60 PATRONS Dr. Anthony J. Arnold Dr. William A. Atz Dr. Thomas Ballantine Dr. J. Stanley Battersby Dr. Steven C. Beering Dr. James E. Bennett Dr. Marlene A. Benson Dr. Merrill D. Benson Dr. Angenita A. Biegel Dr. Kenneth D. Brandt Dr. Thomas Broadie Dr. Marilyn J. Bull Dr. Robert L. Campbell Dr. James E. Carter Dr. J.R. Coughenour Dr. Walter J. Daly Dr. C.W. Dill Dr. Mark L. Dyken Dr. Joshua L. Edwards Dr. Philip Faris Dr. Fred L. Ficklin Dr. Robert A. Garrett Dr. David R. Gettle Dr. Philips. Gibbs Dr. John Glover Dr. Martin J. Graber Dr. Merrill Grayson Dr. Morris Green Dr. Jay L. Grosfeld Dr. Hugh C. Hendrie Dr. Ainslee A. Hood Dr. Jesse D. Hubbard Dr. Roger H. Hurwitz Dr. Stephen J. Jay Dr. John E. Jesseph Dr. Harold King Dr. Eugene C. Klatte Dr. Oldrich Kolar Dr. J.E. Kooiker Dr. Robert E. Lempke Dr. Alvin M. LoSasso Dr. Dan Lowe Dr. William Matthews Dr. Donald H. McCartney Dr. A. David McKinley Dr. John Mealey, Jr. Mr. Charles Love Dr. Glenn Moak Dr. John R. Moriarity Dr. Thomas Moran Dr. Robert A. Munsick Dr. Richard C. Powell Dr. Wade Rademachcr Dr. Paul D. Riley Dr. Jamison Ritchey Dr. John A. Robb Dr. T.F. Schlaegel, Jr. Dr. R.B. Schnute Dr. James Smith Dr. Robert K. Stoelting Dr. V. Kenneth Stoelting Dr. Frank W. Teague Dr. Eugene S. Turrell University Dermatology Department University Family Prac- tice Department Dr. Vernon A. Vix Dr. Franklin D. Walker Dr. Fred M. Wilson Dr. Gregory C. Woodham Dr. Peter Yaw Dr. Donald M. Schlegel Drs. Nasser, Smith, and Pinkerton Dr. James R. Russell 61 111111111 CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 1979 WE WISH YOU WELL AND HOPE YOU CHOOSE INDIANA AS THE LOCATION FOR YOUR PRACTICE INDIANA UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF MEDICINE ALUMNI ASSOCIATION 62 There’s one thing about being an Indiana University alum that no one may have mentioned to you new degree holders yet. So, we will. It’s not something you have to do, but it’s something that thousands of alumni do, proudly and faithfully. It’s a big-hearted thing called giving for the benefit of Indiana University. We mention it because we are Indiana University’s fund-raising, nonprofit corporation, legally chartered to accept all kinds of gifts that make impossible things possible: student scholarships, student loans, faculty grants, professorships, purchases of resource materials and equipment. We are just as interested in the “heart” as we are in the “bigness” of a gift, for together we can do the big things. We hope the class of 1979 will R.S.V.P. this year and every year to our messages about giving to Indiana University. It is a good alumni habit to begin right from the start. Indiana University Foundation Showalter House, P.O. Box 500 Bloomington, Indiana 47401 63 BRISTOL LABORATORIES Bob Delagrange 846-4955 District Manager Dave Powell 842-3907 Hospital Representative Ron Fritz 844-6086 North Indianapolis Pat Hoffman 846-5262 East Indianapolis Jim Nordmeyer 788-1066 South Indianapolis BEST WISHES TO THE CLASS OF 1979 from INDIANA SURGICAL INC. 2851 N. Webster Avenue Indianapolis, Indiana 545-7181 Please see us for your medical- surgical requirements when setting-up your practice. Compliments of BINDLEY PHARMACEUTICAL CORPORATION Donald C. Cosby District Manager, Indianapolis Frank Calabrese — Bloomington Maury Copenhaver — Indianapolis William Faughn — Fort Wayne Mark Haverfield — Fort Wayne Jay Krimmel — Indianapolis Gayne R. McLaughlin — Anderson Vanita S. Moore — Indianapolis Philip K. Rogers — Terre Haute Judy Sengewald — Indianapolis Greg Vannater — South Bend Wilbur (Toby) Wilson — Lafayette Ronald Yeker — Evansville 64 CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 1979 S UrjiBBr.mt.. urnsm flH999i -! QU 4 uJSmhSWa a Ik® A t 3B Tik yiSbJTwL 1 ST. FRANCIS MEDICAL ARTS 1500 Albany Avenue Beech Grove, Indiana Affiliated with St. Francis Hospital Center BEST WISHES For Success In Your Career ELI LILLY AND COMPANY CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 1979 EDICAL EDI - RODUCTS LY, INC. Full Service Center Medical Supplies - Pharmacy (317) 881-6733 or (317) 881-8237 637 S. State Road 135 State Road 135 Smith Valley Road Greenwood, Indiana Hours 8-7 Mon. - Sat. -Doctor Office Supplies -Ostomy Fittings and Supplies -Supportive Appliances, Fitted -Surgical Supp ies -Convalescent Equipment -Inhalation and Urinary -Jobst and other fittea hosiery -Custom Wheelchairs -Complete Medical Oxygen Service BEST WISHES TO THE MEDICAL CLASS OF 1979 THE MEDICAL ASSOCIATES OF COMMUNITY HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM 67 GENERAL MEDICAL INDIANA Indianapolis 1850 W. 15th St. 317-634-8560 Lafayette 1712 South St. 317-447-3805 COMPLETE Surgical-Scientific Equipment and Supplies You are welcome in our stores to visit our displays and show rooms. Plenty of free parking Terre Haute 629 S. 9th St. 812-232-6755 St. Vincent Hospital and Health Care Center 68 CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES TO THE SENIOR CLASS 1979 CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 1979 from WINONA MEMORIAL HOSPITAL Winona is a 405-bed not-for-profit hospital which offers the following services and specialties: Computerized Axial Tomography Cardiac Catheterization Lab Peripheral Vascular Lab Cardiac Rehabilitation Pulmonary Rehabilitation Cardio- Thoracic Unit Diabetic Unit Neurosurgical Unit Urological Unit Intensive Care Unit Orthopedic Unit Stroke Rehabilitation Emergency Medical Services Nuclear Medicine Radiology Ultrasound Physical Therapy Occupational Therapy Laboratory Surgery Pharmacy Respiratory Therapy Speech Therapy Endoscopy Lab Dietetic Counseling Social Services A Non-Profit Health Center 69 3232 N. Meridian Street Indianapolis, IN 46208 Medical Staff Affairs Administrator 927-2223 70 GENTLEMEN’S CLOTHIER • INDIANAPOLIS Congratulations May the l()7() graduates III Hook stores thank you continue to serve you in the and successful futures. The serve you, and hope we can Indianapolis —Campus Bookstores CONGRATULATIONS TO THE CLASS OF 1979 WE WISH YOU WELL AND HOPE YOU SET UP YOUR PRACTICE IN INDIANA THE CLIMATE FOR PRACTICE IN INDIANA IS UNEXCELLED THE INDIANA STATE MEDICAL ASSOCIATION REPRESENTING 5200 PHYSICIANS 72 3935 N. MERIDIAN STREET INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA 46208 PHONE (317) 925-7545 HAAG IS BIG IN PRESCRIPTIONS! • Special prescription discount for Senior Citizens • For your personal records you may charge your prescriptions with Visa or Master Charge or write a personal check • We fill 3rd party prescriptions under approved union and group plans 75 Haag Drug Stores Throughout Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois and lowa INDIANA STORES KOKOMO. INO. 2130 W. Sycamore Si. INDIANAPOLIS STORES 8650 Weatfteld Blvd. 674 Twin Alra Drive 6000 E 46th St. 2326 E. 62nd St 5435 W. 34th St. 5020 E 16th St. 3725 N. Poat Rd OREENWOOO. IND. 417 S. Meridian St. GREENCASTLE. IND. 1105 N. Jeckeon Greencaatle Shopping Canter 8051 Madleon Ava. TERRE HAUTE. IND. 2144 E 116th. Carmel 140 S. Olrla School Rd 600 Wabaah Ava. 1100 Locuat St. 6401 E Waahington St. 6915 Pendleton Pika 2401 E. 38th St. 2101 W. Morrla St BRAZIL. INO. 815 E. National Ava. 5331 W. Waahington St. 119 W. 56th St. 21 at A Arlington Ava. 21 at 4 Poet Rd. CRAWFORDSVILLE. INO. 1440 Darlington Ava. MADISON. INO. E. Waah. 4 Mltlhoeffer 3473 Kentucky Ava. 2536 Michigan Rd. FRANKLIN. INO. FT. WAYNE, INO 2836 Gateway Plaza 1875 N. Wood Plaza 3927 E. State St. RICHMOND. INO. 3400 E. Main Si. BLOOMINGTON, INO. 216 Collage Ava. MARION, IND. 1104 N. Baldwin St. ANOERSON. INO. 3727 Main St. SHILBYV1LLS. INO. Junction Shopping Canter MUNCH. IND. COLUMBIA CITY, INO. Northweet Plaza Canter 828 N. Countryalde Dr. PORTLAND. IND. LOGANSFORT. IND. N. Meridian St. 3390 U.S. Hwy. 24 1. LAFAYETTE. IND. Jeffereon Sp.. Teal Rd CORYOON. INO. Old Capital Plata Shopp. Ctr. EVANSVILLE STORES 808 S. Oraan Rlvar Rd 1389 Covart Ava. 413 S Barker Ava. 4715 Olvlaon SI. 28 Mini Mall. Diamond Ava 1935 Lincoln Ava. 4554 First Ava 1218 Waah. So Mall KENTUCKY STORES HENDERSON. KY. 1830 Sacond Si. OWENSBORO. KY. 1822 Triplett Audubon Plata 2709 Parrleh IOWA STORES DAVENPORT. IOWA 1844 Wait Klmbarly Rd. 2129 Brady Straat 1307 Eaat Locuat St. 903 E. Klmbarly Rd. 1724 Waal Locuat St. 2217 Rockingham Rd. BETTENDORF. IOWA 1939 Stata St. 2900 Oavlla Qlann Rd. ILLINOIS STORES MOLINE. ILLINOIS 3128 • 23rd Avanua 1628 Flftaanth St PI. EAST MOLINE. ILL. 711 Flftaanth Ava 1301 Forty-Second Ava LINCOLN. ILL. 90S Woodiawn SALEM. ILL. 402 E. Main BEAROSTOWN. ILL 408 E 4th St. NORMAL. ILL 607 Ory Grove 1646 Eaat Collage OANVILLE, ILL. Holiday Plata li 1809 Bowman Ava. ROCK ISLAND. ILL. 2110 Eighteenth Ava. MILAN. ILL. 900 W. 4th Street OHIO STORES LIMA. OHIO 240 W. Northern Ava. DIFIANCI. OHIO ISIS E. 2nd St. 73 CONGRATULATIONS TO THE INDIANA UNIVERSITY MEDICAL SCHOOL GRADUATING CLASS OF 1979 Best Wishes for a Rewarding Career in Medicine FROM THE Emergency Physicians of Midwest Medical Management, Inc. SPECIAL THANKS To All Those Who Contributed To The 1979 RETROSPECTOSCOPE Denny Bojrab, Tom Fairchild, Tom Fischer, Kathy Richardson, Mark Seal 74 Itttttt ■ e7as P £ , v.' • .£ v .-. ■.?,,(•,' 'i C £ sM r s '«[ C-Nk-', -te= � Ai- OCS • ►. '1 APrtC iN j • •.' • ijWtfts V “ e-E Of . � , 5E C v' 3 1 0« , -w. •..-. •.£ b= i - -.3 '-..G 'C 51M iUu T l '“wOvfcS - . j w -• - C Aw 75 HIPPOCRATIC OATH Thou has endowed man with the wisdom to relieve the suffering of his brother, to recognize his disorders, to extract the healing substances, to discover their powers and to prepare and to apply them to suit every ill. Imbue my soul with gentleness and calmness when older colleagues, proud of their age, wish to displace me or to scorn me or disdainfully to teach me. May even this be of advantage to me, for they know many things of which I am ignorant. Grant me an opportunity to Improve and extend my training, since there is no limit to knowledge. Help me to correct and supplement my educational defects as the scope of science and its horizon widen day by day. Give me the courage to realize my daily mistakes so that tomorrow I shall be able to see and understand in a better light what I could not comprehend in the dim light of yesterday. Bless me with a spirit of devotion and self sacrifice so that I can treat and heal thy suffering servants and prevent disease and preserve health to the best of my ability and knowledge. Let me see in the sufferer the man alone . . . Grant that my patients have confidence in me and my art and follow my directions and counsel. I swear that according to the best of my ability and judgment, I promise to honor ny teacners as I do ry parents - to care for them and to lighten their burden - to teach others this art, if they shall wish to 'earn it - and that by precept and exarole and every node of instruction, I wiil impart my knowledge to my own students bound by a co-ron oath according to the law of medicine I will conduct my practice according to the best interests and for the welfare of my patients. ! will abstain fro- whatever is deleterious and mischievous I will give no deadly redicine to anyone or suggest any such counsel with sincerity and dedication I will spend my life and practice my art. I will not perform procedures beyond my capabilities but will leave these to be done by those who are skilled in such work. Into whatever house i enter, I will go there for the benefit of the sick and will abstain from every voluntary act of misconduct and wrongdoing. Whenever in the course of ry professional practice I see or hear those things which ought not be revealed, I will not divulge them reckoning that all such persons affairs should be safe with me. While I continue to keep this oath inviolate, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and the practice of the art respected by everyone, but should I trespass and break this oath, may the reverse be my lot. MAIMONIDES PRAYER 76