Indiana University School of Medicine - Caduceus Yearbook (Indianapolis, IN)

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On the opposite page, you will see polygraph recordings from each of three unfortunate dogs. Note that certain treatments have changed the course of their EKG's. Below you will find a list of the possible treatments. Please indicate what treatment was given at each of the four intervals: Possible treatments: 1. Sub-lingual application of phentolamine. 2. Rectal application of Sominex. 3. Cutaneous application of Sherwin-Williams powder blue . 4. LSD (given any old way). 5. Extract of Exxon (given at great expense to the patient). 6. The dibucaine number. 7. I.M. injection of tincture of Colgate. 8. Inhalation of one mole of Los Angeles' rush-hour air. 9. Solution of Schuster's BBV (building block virus). 10. Bringing nurse to bedside of 91 year old male. The correct answers are (of course): 1 - 7 II - 9 III - 5 IV - 10 Aj spatue V)Ot vA ET ! SO S CT OJ AAX. 25

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After taking your basic science courses, you would feel most competent in treating which of the following clinical situations? a. Doing surgery upon anesthetized dogs who (until you cut on them) have no apparent illness. b. Treating Kangaroo Rats who are only excreting a urine of 1,000 mOsm liter. c. Sympathizing with the next of kin of the frog whose head you just pithed and cut off. d. Evaluating the maladies of living Homo sapiens. If you said A, then you can take my place in Pharmacology lab. If you said B, then you have learned absolutely nothing of any value at all in this course and probably went to lecture too often. If you said C, then I would say that you have learned callousness in this course, to say the least. If you said D, then you must have done an admirable job of sifting through this barrage of information to find truth . . . Congratulations! Medical students perform operation upon dogs in physiology lab, because . . . a. The dogs were referred in by a vet for possible corrective surgery b. These labs probably provide the medical student a chance to do amazing research which may win him or her the Nobel Prize. c. They teach new concepts not seen in lecture. d. These dogs were notorious bank robbers on the outside and were sentenced to this death by a judge. e. It is very humane for medical students to kill dogs in order to learn to handle the sight of blood. If you said A, then you are quite naive, in fact, I have some land in Florida I would like to sell you. If you said B, you are egotistical regarding your lab skills. If you said C, you obviously have never read the textbook. If you said D, then you are in need of psychiatric counselling because medical school is getting the best of you. And finally, if you said E, then you gave the answer that is the old faculty stand-by. Of course, if you think this is a good question, then you might suspect that the right answer is indeed: Really, why is that? !?! U Ki o ! art •••

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Case Records Of The Wizard General Hospital Daily Clinicopathological Exercises George Burns, Editor Case 1-1978 A 25 year old male medical student was admitted to the hospital complaining of flickering vision . This fine, but cranky young fellow was in relatively good health until the day of admission. After being on call the preceding night, he began complaining about the cold, snotty eggs being served . Those about him perceived that he was suffering from quite a bit of flatulence that morning. Suddenly, he complained of a chill going up his spine and of a severe headache. Shortly thereafter, he began to express copralalia, uttering: we're getting the shaft , and this hospital sucks ! He continued to express this air late into the morning during staffing (grilling or straffing). Suddenly he moaned, Why are the lights flickering? He then grabbed his head and sunk to the floor. He was dire ly admitted to the hospital (via the E.R. of course). He did not pass go, but he did have to pay $400. Upon examination, the chap appeared glassy- eyed and dazed. Vital signs were normal. Gooseflesh covered his pale body. Pupils were equal, anisocoric, but responsive ( a beer can in view caused mydriasis - Cole's sign). Fundascopic exam showed the arteries to be slightly pale and the disks showing signs of papillitis. The visual fields were diffusely obscured, and the patient stated that he couldn't see for shit . With the exception of rather massive flatus, the remainder of the physical examination was normal. Throwing caution (and money) to the wind, laboratory studies were ordered. No test was left undone. Important data included: WBC 15,000 with left shift and 1,000 eosinophils; SGOT 50 mg%; BUN 25 mg%; Molybdenum 2 mcg%; Blood cultures (X6 for reproducibility, of course) did grow several strains of coliform bacteria; CSF studies including an opening pressure of 10 mm, glucose and chloride were normal except WBC count of 1,000: Microscopic exam of the CSF showed no remarkable findings; EKG showed normal sinus rhythm: Chest roentgenogram was unremarkable; However, the skull films were quite interesting. Please see figure 1 below: Figure 1 Right lateral view of the patient's skull demonstrates a large lesion in the area of the anterior communicating artery in the Circle of Willis. 26